NNtG: Shivers #18: Your Momma's a Werewolf

We have had many a wild title to cover for this blog, but I don't think any we'll get in the future will be able to top a title such as this. Which, of course, makes me worry because whenever I like the title or the cover, it means disaster. And this is another trip into Shivers, the Russian Roulette of GB-Likes. What exactly are we in for? I hate to break it to you, but Your Momma's a Werewolf. But I'm sure other than that she's a great person. 

And a great title comes with an equally great cover. I love the blood red sky and atmosphere, the dead trees, the giant wolf face on the moon and our titular momma looking like she's going insane from the moonlight. You might be so transfixed on wolf moon that you'll miss the staple cover skull over on the right below the trees. But who can blame you when there's a FREAKING WOLF MOON? Cover quality is Shivers' forte and this is a prime example as to why that is.

Our protagonist is Ignatius J. Rockwell, or Iggy as he'd prefer to be called. Why the weird first name? Well his mom based it off of Ignatius of Loyola and Iggy Pop. Which that sound like a fun blunt rotation. See, Iggy's mom knew Iggy Pop and she was a Jesuit, so kind of a shoe fits sitch. She was also a drummer in a punk band called We Hate You, which is good, but it's no 2RUFF4U. Still, she was pretty bad ass, even her old album covers show her being bald and at one time with magenta hair. She looks like a rather tough character. And while she smiles all the time, she isn't happy that Iggy is slacking in his academics. But, in his defense, he would rather watch The Tick, so he's already one of the best protagonists ever. Spoon!

We start the story proper with Iggy heading to Lake Huron with his mom and his best friend John, who is nicknamed Mole for his near-sightedness and having his room in the basement. Still a better nickname than Hat. Mole is the opposite of Iggy in that he's far more interested in education and the arts while Iggy enjoys the far superior art of 90s cartoons. Mole claims to be the fifth cousin, twice removed of the Earl of Lothian, so he has that at least. Before their trip, Mole did some studying of where they're headed, Fort Deckerville. It was a British fort in 1761, but after twenty years, the whole town seemed to be deserted. It was believed the soldiers ran off in fear on account of something supernatural. Something not human. Something that may be someone's momma who may or may not be a werewolf, we're still too early too decipher. 

The three head to the cabin at Fort Deckerville and after talking about there being an outhouse and a lack of cable TV, Mole panics at the sight of something in the woods. A deer that got grabbed by some sort of creature. Mrs. Rockwell thinks that Mole was imagining it, and also says that she knew about the same legends they did and that whatever happened happened over 200 years ago so surely there's no possibility, even a smidgen, of it happening again. And just to be sure, Iggy suggests that he and Mole check out the old fort the next day. The next day, Mrs. Rockwell mentions the owner of the cabin, a Mr. Vincent, had previously rented the cabin to some deer hunters who were using fake deer as target practice, and what Mole must have seen was one of the deer targets. So case closed. That was sure a quick book. Not much momma werewolf... Oh right, we're far from done.

Iggy leads Mole into the forest to find the fort when they run into a giant wolf. They try to stay still, but a mosquito bits Iggy, causing him to flinch, which causes the wolf to pounce on him. Before the wolf can attack, Mrs. Rockwell shoots at it with her shotgun before the wolf then attacks her. In the fracas, Mole grabs the shotgun and shoots, causing the wolf to run off. But, sadly, Mrs. Rockwell is dead... or at least, she SHOULD be dead, but she just got a few scratches is all. Nothing that's going to be extremely concerning soon. The next day, they head to the supermarket where a woman named Josephine gives us some more exposition on the old fort. That it's been deserted for years and there's nothing left. But when she hears that Mrs. Rockwell dealt with a wolf, Josephine mentions that one soldier possibly survived the encounter and mentioned that it was giant wolves that attacked the fort. Were or not, we're still not sure, but for now it's breadcrumbs.

Mole is, of course, concerned about Josephine's claims, but Iggy is still not ready to believe in any werewolves, let alone if his momma is one. They play frisbee before being attacked by the Wolf... Actually it's just a cute little dog, but it could have been the wolf. Iggy goes to talk with his mom about at least keeping the dog around when he sees his mom over the kitchen sink, foaming at the mouth. Your momma may be a werewolf, or at the very least, has rabies. No, wait, it's actually shaving cream because she's suddenly growing facial hair. Your Momma is actually in My Hairiest Adventure. I mean she is technically turning into a dog. Speaking of dogs, Mrs. Rockwell lets them keep the dog around and Mole calls the dog... Kaiser Wilhelm? Yippee Whippee Whippee?

But as Mole explains why he named the dog after the last German emperor, Iggy begins to worry that maybe something's wrong with his mom. It COULD be rabies, but given the wolf attack and all, could it be? Could his momma possibly be a werewolf? Well, he gets his answer that night as the moon is full. Something begins to attack the cabin, causing the boys to leap out the window. But when they recover, they're met by a wolf. But not just any wolf, Mrs. Rockwell as a wolf. But that was just a dream. That was just a dream. That's me in the corner...

The morning at breakfast, Iggy and Mole notice Mrs. Rockwell is eating raw bacon. Reader beware, you're in for salmonella. But given Iggy's momma's a werewolf, I guess it's the least of her concerns. Also her teeth are jagged and pointy. So now both boys are convinced that Mrs. Rockwell is a werewolf and Mole makes the suggestion that they should get some silver bullets handy, in case they have to, you know... But with a full moon on the way, they need to do something quick. They try to tell Mrs. Rockwell, but she snaps at them, saying she's totally fine. Less Because Goosebumps Parents and more Because Your Momma's a Werewolf.  That night, as the boys try to figure out what to do, it's too late. Mrs. Rockwell is out of the cabin and howling at the moon.

Some time passes and Iggy checks his mother's bedroom, only to be caught by Mrs. Rockwell, not happy that her son and his Mole-like friend are snooping around. So she just up and yeets him into his bedroom with her newfound werewolf strength. Iggy realizes that time is running out and the full moon is coming that night, so she's about to be full wolf very soon. Oh, and Kaiser Wilhelm may be dead. His collar is found, but no traces of the dog. Somewhere R.L. Stine is very excited. They head to the cellar to get shovels to at least bury the collar when Mrs. Rockwell shows up and lunges at them. They dodge in time, so she just eats shit and crashes to the cellar below. She grabs Mole, but Iggy saves him in time as they manage to lock the cellar. 

Now with his momma a werewolf, Iggy has no choice but to head to town to find anyone who might be able to handle werewolves. I'd argue he should be more worried for driving a van for the first time and almost dying, but I guess that's less concerning than werewolf mom. They almost crash into a tree and leave the van behind, only to almost be shot at by a guy with a thick southern accent. But when the kids plead their case, the man drops the gun and the accent. His name is Jesco Vaughn, a writer who lives in the middle of the woods. An investigator of the paranormal, things that science can't explain. God I miss being able to enjoy this character archetype before Trump. Iggy mentions werewolves, and while werewolves aren't Jesco's specialty, he does know that the only way to cure someone from being a werewolf is to create a concoction of water and the fur of the wolf that bit them. So the boys have to find the original werewolf. But it's cool, they have a guy with a rifle... except there's no bullets because Jesco's scared of guns. Okay then.

As they search for the wolf, Jesco says that it's believed that the soldiers of Fort Deckerville were the ones responsible for attracting the werewolves. With nothing to do, the soldiers would hunt wolves for sport. And because they just left the carcasses in the woods, they pissed the wolves off, who got their revenge. Well, at least they got what they deserved and we're not, you know, having to forgive a guy who had a tribe slaughtered, so it's a plus. So now it's believed that the wolves are still out in the woods, still attacking victims. And those victims don't turn into cartoonish werewolves, they turn into actual giant wolves. Like the one that shows up and attacks them. How convenient, eh?

The wolf attacks Iggy, since it seems like Iggy was its mark all along. Jesco uses a blow gun to knock the wolf out, and after some tension, the wolf passes out. They get the fur and put it in the water. Step one is done, now the more daunting step is getting Mrs. Rockwell to drink it. Or have to be hit with a blow dart first, THEN drink it. But it's moot as when they arrive to the cabin, Mrs. Rockwell's escaped. Actually, she didn't as when Iggy goes to grab a flashlight, she shows up and tries to attack Iggy. But when Iggy flashes the flashlight at her, she crashes into the wall, giving Iggy enough time to get her to drink the liquid. Well that was easy enough. Mrs. Rockwell wakes up back to normal, with no recollection of being a momma werewolf. Iggy says that it's a long story and is just happy to have her back. Also Kaiser Wilhelm is alive. The dog lives! Somewhere R.L. Stine snapped his fingers and mouthed "fuck." 

And we're back to safe Shivers with this book. I kind of like safe Shivers. It's cozy, easy to run through, and I don't have to talk about the holocaust or forgiving racists. I'm so grateful. And it doesn't hurt that this is a decent little book. Nothing too out of the ordinary for these types of werewolf stories, but that doesn't mean what we get is at all bad. We get just enough time with everything. Enough early time to build to the wolf attack, enough time with Mrs. Rockwell's transformation and her becoming more and more intense, and just enough time for an intense final act. Perhaps a bit too rushed, but I don't hate it. I mean, Mrs. Rockwell just became a werewolf, I can't imagine her being super competent at killing her son or anything. As such this is a book with the right amount of horror without having to be too intense. I mean, the DOG LIVES! In a Shivers book I'd have expected to have seen that dog's corpse strewn all over the place.

Iggy is a decent protagonist. Nothing out of the ordinary, but you feel his plight as he has to deal with his momma being a werewolf. Mole is a solid side character who serves as the one who has to tell Iggy and the reader about a lot of the lore of werewolves and other creatures. Jesco comes in super late to the book, but he's a great addition. Being this bullshitter who acts tough but isn't. At least he has a blowgun and can provided the added pieces of lore to finish off the book with. Like I said, I miss being able to enjoy the wacky conspiracy theorist. The Dale Gribble archetype who believes everything is some sort of conspiracy or paranormal event. When that became the Republican Party, it stopped being fun. But it's a treat to go back to the tin foil hats. And Mrs. Rockwell serves as a solid parent character. Not awful like most of them and her non-beliefs at least mostly come from her already becoming a werewolf and not realizing it. I kind of wish we got more of her punk rocker past, that's a neat touch that could have been expanded on. 

It's also just kind of cool to have a book about a horrible act in a Shivers book be handled far better than usual. After Ghosts of Camp Massacre I was super disillusioned with this series, not gonna lie. So to have a story where the werewolves got their revenge and we aren't forgiving shitty soldier ghosts makes me so happy. And that's really the best way I end this book. Happy. Satisfied. First book of 2024 reviewed leaves me feeling positive. Especially with Shivers which was a slippery slope last year. So I got the chamber without a bullet this time and I'm thankful. As for the book, it's an easy recommend. Doesn't do anything fresh with the werewolf concept, but if that's all you want, then that's definitely what you get. Your Momma's a Werewolf gets an A-.