DISCLAIMER: BIT OF BUG TALK, ESPECIALLY ROACHES. SO YOU'VE BEEN WARNED IN ADVANCE LIKE AWAYS.
Greg Dreamer is a great drummer. That's what he tells us early in the book. He's also super unlucky. Not like his friend Olivia who is super lucky. Oh god, we're doing another luck story? Well, at least we can see how it's handled when it's not Jovial Bob. While Olivia is lucky, Greg is more concerned about another lucky kid named Derek Boyd who is always competing with Greg and always winning, like in a burping contest for example. I'd like to imagine Derek pulled off a Jay Sherman level belch. Or a Eudora Welty. Oh and it's also Halloween, so that gives Greg the idea to once again try to beat Derek. He and Olivia (or Liv as he calls her) head to his place where we meet Greg's mother, his six year old sister Raina and their cat Princess, who is big, but not as big as Derek's cat. Oh great. They're having a pussy measuring contest.
He shows Liv his costume, a hairy werewolf-like creature with bugs in the fur. He also has a large treat bag to fill up with candy, again in an attempt to best Derek. The two head out, when they get attacked by a werewolf! Of course, it's Derek, who also conveniently decided to go as a werewolf, in a much better costume. So he wins that round. As Greg and Liv go trick or treating some more, they end up in where else? Fear Street. Which is too scary to go down even when it's not Halloween. But Greg's too determined to get one over on Derek that he's willing to go anyway. They stop at a dark mansion and get scared by a kid with a scaly green glove. He invites them inside the mansion which is filled with candles, crystals and ticking clocks. There's also an owl because I guess a crow or raven would be too obvious?
The ghostly looking kid introduces himself as Ricky and says that he doesn't go to Shadyside Middle School, he goes to a private school, which means he's definitely either dead or something not human. Greg mentions his plight and Ricky brings the pair to a strange old woman who takes Greg's Halloween bag. She gives him a different bag with a Jack-O-Lantern on the front, filled with the candy he's already gained. Greg's pissed, but the woman says that this will give him all the candy he needs, but he had better come back to thank her later. That's not part of Greg's plan. When they meet back up with Derek, the kids empty their bags. Despite the smaller looking sum inside, Greg's bag pours out tons of candy, more than enough than Derek meaning that finally he gets that much needed W.
It doesn't take long for Greg and Liv to realize that the bag must be magic. However, Liv notes that the candy inside tastes gross. They then test putting items in the bag and each time something is put in, ten exact copies come out. Ten baseballs. Ten comic books. And, in what might actually be the smartest thought from any of these kids in these sort of books, ten 10 dollar bills and ten 20 dollar bills. I mean, it's going to backfire, but credit where credit's due that's an actual clever idea. And sure enough, when they try to spend the money, they get caught by security for using counterfeit money. So, they begin to realize what's up. The bag does make copies. However the copies are bad versions.
Greg spots Raina about to put a hamster in the bag, but stops her in time. I mean, they could have tried a hamster wrestling league if it worked right. However, Princess gets in the bag and sure enough, ten cats exit, all wild and uncontrollable. Thankfully the neighbor, Mr. O'Connor, has a dog named Muffin that can chase them off. Now that would be the smart thing to do. What Greg tries is putting the dog in the bag and making copies. Forget what I said earlier about them being smart. No, the dogs emerge and... start quacking. Well, at least when they bark they don't shoot bees at you.
After getting rid of the dogs and cats, the pair run into Derek who gloats about getting more candy than Greg because you can't turn these two off. And he even got five hundred dollars for his birthday. So, despite everything so far being a clear example of why one shouldn't use the bag AND that we already saw what it does to money, Greg wants to make more counterfeit money, if only to beat out Derek once again. When Greg returns home, he sees the bag is gone. His mother mentions using it to put a bunch of his trash in there before throwing it out. They then see the bag leaving in a garbage truck. Now, logical people, like Liv, would let the bag go. But Greg isn't logical, so he drags her to the dump and gets the bag back.
This proves to be somehow an even worse idea than all so far as what emerges from the bag are cockroaches. Thousands of cockroaches. Oh, and given they're from the bag, they start to bite and attack the kids. They try to stop all the bugs, but no such luck. This includes one of the roaches getting in Greg's mouth. Again, if you didn't follow the disclaimer, I'm sorry. The roaches fill up the house, interrupting Mrs. Dreamer's reading group in the process. So, with Greg's house now Joe's Apartment, they only thing they can do now is go back to the old woman and see if she can do something about it. When they arrive, Ricky answers the door and tells the two to get away while they can. The woman shows up and brings the two in. She takes the bag and mentions that it's magic. And she knows plenty of magic, including putting the bag over Ricky's head, which turns him into a frog. Or, to be more specific, back into a frog. So, not dead, but you know, it's not that easy being green.
The owl from earlier then attacks Greg and Liv as the old woman mentions that her magic bag can turn the two kids into her new pets. She almost puts the bag over Greg, but Liv saves him. They then decide to put the bag over the woman's head, which creates a clone of the old woman. The two fight over the bag as the kids make a run for it. However, the woman puts the bag over Greg, turning him into a chicken. Because I needed to be reminded of Chicken Chicken. Liv grabs the bag and the two old ladies try to fight her for it. She then grabs a book of magic and uses a crystal to utter a spell that makes both old women disappear and turn Greg back to normal. The bag is still there though, but Greg promises to bury it so nobody could find it. Or you could burn it. Is it even possible to just burn it?
Barbara Joyce is the name of the ghostwriter this time, but can't quite find much other work from her. Which is a shame since I do think this book isn't that bad. Granted, the bug aspect of the book really just feels like one scene and not anything more pivotal to the story itself. Reminds me very much of The Birthday Party of No Return! which did pretty much the exact same thing. And that book too dealt with a competitive kid and his bad luck. Though I do feel this one is better, and the scene involving the cover at least plays an actual role in the story unlike with the latter. Guess it's a better title than The Haunted Halloween Bag or something like that.
What I like is that the book at least flows well without any of the notable fake out chapters or a lot of just bland moments. I like that the book always keeps moving with little wheel spinning, even if the climax does feel a bit overlong. Still works for an exciting climax, but could have been shaved a slight bit. I like the concept of the magic bag. This cursed bag that creates horrible copies of whatever is put inside. But, with that said, it suffers from the same issue as the camera from Say Cheese and Die! It's only a threat because it keeps being used. And this is also a book with a kid named Greg as protagonist. Eerie. As such, much of the horror is built around hackneyed reasons for Greg to use the bag long after knowing it's a bad idea. There's at least a reason given his feud with Derek, but otherwise he's just an idiot for still using it.
Greg is just okay a protagonist. Not much really interesting about him. Not even him being a drummer. The only thing that really motivates him at all is finally getting one over on Derek. And given that Derek does work as an annoying antagonist that pushes that good luck in Greg's face, you can again understand why he's so desperate to beat Derek at something. Liv is fine, but also seems to just exist to tell Greg that his ideas are stupid and that he shouldn't use the bag. The old lady is an interesting villain though I wish we got more of what was up with her. Aside from her use of magic, we don't get what her deal is. But I guess her just being evil and screwing over the kids is enough of a motivating factor for her actions.
So in the end, this one is fine. I wish the Halloween and bugs elements mattered more overall, but we get enough of both that it doesn't feel like a cop out. Not much for scares, save for the general freaky scenario involving the roaches. And it's a brisk enough book to finish in about an hour so you don't feel like your time is fully wasted. Not in the echelon, but solid enough for a middle of the road recommend. It won't bug you that much to read it, I guess. Halloween Bugs Me! gets a B-.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.