Here we go again. It's time for yet another Slappy book. Now technically this isn't listed as a Goosebumps SlappyWorld book, but is sort of adjacent to it. I mean, it's still a book about Slappy one way or another so semantics. The real concern is that this is a special edition book. A hardcover special edition at that. And the last time we got one of those was Wanted: The Haunted Mask which was a complete train wreck of a book. Half a really interesting Haunted Mask story, half a boring as sin evil pumpkin patch book. So, forgive me if I'm not exactly expecting top tier Jovial Bob here. But, who knows? Slappy has more often than not surprised me in the latter end of the series, maybe the same will be here? Or maybe there's a reason "Beware" is in the title. It's time for Slappy, Beware!
Slappy's origin starts in Europe two hundred years ago, so 1822 at least, with a puppet maker named Ephraim Darkwell. Oh and he's also a magician because of course he is. I mean, gotta kill time somehow, I guess. Darkwell is in the middle of working on a dummy, while lamenting about how the villagers constantly think he's evil. I mean he is a sorcerer that dabbles in the dark arts in the 1800s. Then again this is the time where a woman would probably still be burned as a witch for coughing in some places, so he's kind of in the right to be paranoid.
The day prior, Darkwell was told by the town constable Koben that he's to leave the village immediately. Darkwell has been seen chatting with his dummies and the dummies are chatting back. Darkwell says he means no harm, but it doesn't matter. Either he leaves on his own terms or the villagers will burn him out. As he works on his latest dummy, his twelve year old nephew Isaac enters the cottage, nose busted and bleeding. Yeah, it's not just Ephraim that's getting the brunt of the abuse of the townspeople, but Isaac as well. He sends Isaac to bed telling him not to worry while he finishes the dummy he's created.
Ephraim is proud of his creation, believing him to be the one to get revenge for what the village has done to the Darkwell family. He then utters "Karru Marri Odonna Loma Molonu Karrano", which awakens the dummy. While the dummy is confused about his sudden sentience, Ephraim tells the dummy that he was created to do evil deeds. Scare the people, make them cry, make them their servants. Oh, come on. This is the 1800s, he isn't saying Servants. Hell, Slappy was still saying "Slaves" in the 2010s. He also calls the dummy Slappy as it is meant to be a silly name, like a clown's name. I mean, technically Lindy Powell just named him that, but again, retcon behind the curtain.
He also says that whenever Slappy is awakened by the magic words, it is his duty to commit an evil deed every day. If he fails to do so, he'll be put into an eternal sleep. So, Slappy's Nightmare, but he has to do bad deeds, not try to be good. Hey, if you're cribbing, crib from my favorite Slappy book. As Darkwell informs Slappy of his purpose, the villagers arrive to burn down the cottage. But first they try to take Isaac, which Darkwell is cool with. The reason being that Isaac is actually a dummy all along. I mean, Slappy did have nosebleeds at one point, so again, not out of the wheelhouse. More annoyed, the villagers set the cottage on fire.
As the villagers corner Darkwell, Slappy tells them to be silent before uttering "Lambda Osiris Kalamunder Dominus Malado Venn" which freezes the villagers in sort of a time stop. So wait, Slappy's had that power all along and never thinks to whip it out? Except Constable Koben can still move. So Slappy then trips him and sends him flying into the air like Team Rocket blasting off again. I love how broken Stine's made this character. Speaking of love, Darkwell loves this latest creation as Slappy is definitely the most evil thing he's ever created. He'll go down in history, or at least in a bunch of mid children's books.
We cut to the present era. December in Tampa to be precise as we turn our attention to twelve year old Reggie Foreman and his ten year old sister Poppy. Poppy is playing her banjo for the school talent show. Reggie is up next with his own dummy, Junior. Reggie notes that Poppy always seems to copy whatever talents Reggie does, case in point his former interest in banjo. After her banjo breaks and she doesn't get much of a reaction, Reggie performs with Junior and it goes great with him actually winning the talent show. And while he's celebrating with his friends, he sees that Poppy's the only one not happy.
In fact, despite Reggie trying to be nice, Poppy is angry about everything. She also gives up the banjo and now wants a dummy of her own. But will she show Kris? So she ends up getting one for Christmas. A dummy named Mister Wood. Maybe she WILL show Kris. And yeah, big shock moment I'm certain, especially why this is happening which I speculate in the conclusion, but not exactly the Mr. Wood we know, but rather looking more like you-know-who. Also, apparently there are plenty of Mister Wood dummies as it's a line of dummy toys, each looking like the original. Reader beware, mass production exists!
Poppy's excited, though Reggie is freaked out, especially when he thinks he sees Mister Wood's eyes blinking on their own. They head to their Aunt Halley's for Christmas dinner with Mister Wood which means yep, it's that time of the book. Poppy performs with Mister Wood but the dummy hurls harsh insults to her family which gets her in trouble. And unlike, say, Amy Kramer, given Poppy's attitude, it's less of a "Because Goosebumps Parents" this time.
Poppy blames Reggie for it, given his ventriloquism is really good, but he says it's not him. Later that night, he calls his friend Diego who is playing Minecraft on the new PlayStation. Diego then makes the worst possible idea to prove Reggie's innocence. Move Mister Wood in different parts of the house to make Poppy think that the dummy's alive. He sneaks the dummy into the guest bedroom. However, the next day, he ends up finding Mister Wood in the spot where Junior always sits. Believing Poppy must have swerved him with the dummy plan, he asks Diego for advice, which he says to just keep moving the dummy around because this couldn't possibly backfire or anything?
Before Reggie can even do that however, he and his mother see Mister Wood on Reggie's bed, his new shirt cut up with scissors. Poppy claims innocence, but no one believes her because... I mean given her demeanor is it that out of her wheelhouse? That night, Poppy asks Reggie to check on Mister Wood, believing the dummy may be alive. But when they go to get the dummy, he's nowhere to be found. But when Reggie returns to his room, he sees that Junior has been decapitated and sure enough, there's Mister Wood holding the dummy's eyeballs in his hand. Gave him the ol' Three Stooges. The next day, the parents are not happy about all this and Mr. Foreman is ready to bring Mister Wood back to the store? You mean we're not just going to blanket call Poppy crazy and not get rid of the dummy? We actually have LOGICAL PARENTS IN A GOOSEBUMPS BOOK? My god, it's like Stine LISTENED.
Mr. Foreman takes Mister Wood back to the store, but the clerk is confused. The dummy inside isn't Mister Wood as the Mister Wood dummies all have red hair and wear flannel, not dark brown hair and gray suits. Before Mr. Foreman can react, the dummy begins to speak. Yep, it's Slappy, what a surprise. He then utters a chant that brings all of the Mister Wood dummies to life which attack the clerk and Mr. Foreman as Slappy looks on with glee. He had a great Christmas and is ready to celebrate New Year's. No, please. One Slappy New Year was enough.
So, much like other Special Edition books, this is actually more than one story tied together with a similar theme and characters, in this case each featuring Slappy. Which takes us to the next day as we're introduced to Bryce Carlton, his dad Duke and mother Jane, who is a research doctor. Bryce looks much like his dad and is constantly in a rush, talking and walking fast. One night, Bryce and his dad find someone in a trash can. It's a ventriloquist dummy. And no Mister Wood trick this time, he's named Slappy from the get go. Bryce thinks the dummy's cool and wants to use it for his cousin May-Rose's birthday party. All this time, Slappy is still awake and sees this as his opportunity to do some more scares.
At dinner, Dr. Carlton isn't keen on her son with a dummy friend, but Mr. Carlton is cool with it. As they make a bowl of Stew for Slappy so Bryce can snap a pic, the dummy tips over and knocks the bowl to the floor. No real scared reaction to that. But it's the first phase in freaking out Bryce. The next is pouring a whole gallon of water into Bryce's backpack. But given it's still Winter holidays, that proves extremely pointless. His next plan involves the Carlton dog, Grover, which isn't a bad pet name for once. Slappy removes Grover's leash, hoping the dog will run off, but Grover just loafs around. So for a dummy with eye beams and time stopping powers, his low level scare attempts seem really weak.
Next up, Slappy grabs a spider and puts it in Dr. Carlton's coffee. She doesn't notice it and just full on drinks a spider. Reader beware, ewww. Still no reactions. Bryce is set to go bike riding with his friend Deshaun, which gives Slappy his next idea to just sabotage the bike and cause Bryce to injure/kill himself. He removes the brake, but gets attacked by Grover and saved by Deshaun, who we learn doesn't have his bike ready yet, so the two go skateboarding instead. So that's four flops so far for the Knotty Nutjob. The two then return to the Carlton place to bake a cake for May-Rose's birthday party. Slappy manages to push Bryce into the cake mix, ruining it. The two boys argue before Dr. Carlton decides that this'll be a great picture for May-Rose's birthday card and they can just buy a cake anyway. So either Slappy got really rusty or the fates keep kicking him in his little wooden ass. Not to mention the whole warning from Darkwell that if he doesn't scare someone every day he's alive then he's doomed to sleep forever. So clock is ticking.
Next, Mr. Carlton and Bryce go fishing, so Slappy puts their bait in their sandwiches, meaning we almost get a book that has more worm eating than Go Eat Worms! And I mean almost because they forget to bring the food. Now even more desperate to either scare them or kill them, he decides to drill a hole in their boat. Except the Carltons go on a different boat so Slappy's cartoonish supervillainy doesn't win that one either. He tries to shove Bryce off the boat, which just causes the dummy to fall overboard. Now waterlogged, Slappy is left in a bathtub to dry while the Carltons head to May-Rose's birthday party.
Now even more panicked, Slappy has mere hours before the day is up, so he'll just walk to the party. But as he heads there, a puff of smoke appears in front of him and Darkwell emerges. He admits that Slappy was never under any time limit. He just did that to ensure that Slappy would commit evil deeds forever. But now he's decided just on a whim to put a stop to Slappy once and for all. He utters the magic words and puts Slappy to sleep before vanishing.
If you were hoping this special edition was going to be a deep breakdown of Slappy as a character, you'll be disappointed. Instead we get the first story which is the Slappy formula, and the other which is definitely more in line with Slappy's Nightmare and honestly a bit better executed than even that book. I think the lack of everything spiraling into chaos saves it. The first story doesn't really change the formula, but the misdirect of Mister Wood is a nice tribute, even if it's always obvious that this is Slappy. Which, when you think about it, given the main villain of the original Night of the Living Dummy was Mr. Wood but the cover dummy was Slappy, having Slappy pretend to be Mister Wood is actually pretty brilliant, even for Stine. Of course this comes with baggage. Was Mister Wood always a mass market dummy? Was the one that Kris got one of these? And if so, how did it get the magic words in its pocket? This is a retcon, but nowhere as frustrating as Monster Blood ignoring the origin. One of the better misdirects, even if it's predictable. And that one has the better twist, even if it's obvious. Definitely the darker twist as well.
The premise isn't fresh, but things like the parents not taking the youngest kid's side and actually being assertive with getting rid of the supposed trigger to their kids' recent bad streak is a breath of fresh air. Though given what befalls Mr. Foreman, maybe there's a reason to not just send the dummy back. Reggie is okay as a protagonist, not amazing and a bit too much of the good kid, but otherwise does what's needed. Poppy is awful, but I also get it. Jealousy and frustration over Reggie being successful. And while clearly Reggie doesn't mean it, trying to give her flattering praise is only going to make her feel worse about those shortcomings. Plus she needs to be presented as the most obvious red herring in the world and making her likable wouldn't do that. And again, actual good Goosebumps parents who actually take logical actions to the problem will always blow me away.
The second story I like, but also feel like it's the one that's the most rushed, having to bounce Slappy from one failed scare to another. And again, if Slappy has the power to freeze people and send them flying off, why is he even trying to pull off mundane scares? He's sprung to life in front of people before like in Diary of a Dummy. If the pressure really is on, he has no excuse other than maybe a flair for the dramatic? But, then again, it would defeat the purpose I guess. Also, despite having Slappy around, Bryce never once uses him like a dummy. Like a prop, maybe, but we don't get the scene of Slappy hurling the insults. See, when you screw with the formula, the dummy gets confused, clearly. Bryce and the Carlton family also feel close-knit and actually care for one another, even if Dr. Carlton is a bit too concerned about her son's new dummy friend.
So, overall I think this book feels flawed. The definite feeling of this being two different Slappy books that Stine felt wouldn't work if they were standalones. Though imagine the reaction if Stine announced a book called "The Return of Mr. Wood" only for it to be Slappy like it's Dr. Wily in a latter Mega Man sequel. Would probably be in the same area of praise, but taking a hit for the bait-and-switch. The book also has a lot of great ideas but an inability by Stine to send the crowd home happy. That being said, I still really liked this one. Yes, it's the formula, but the little nuances and tweaks still worked to never make the formula feel annoying. And again, the biggest flaw, aside from the logistics, is the ending just feeling so flat and underwhelming. But there have been way worse endings, especially in SlappyWorld. So this gets a recommend. Is it the be-all-end-all for Slappy? Nah, but you won't feel too burned by this one either. So here's to thirty years of Goosebumps. May there be more weirdness coming down the pike for years to come.
Next up for SlappyWorld is a book involving a bird and a kid who starts to turn into a bird. I swear if this is another puberty allegory, then I'm going to have to have a talk with Robert Lawrence Stine...
STORY: GGG
SCARES: GGG
TWIST: GG
ENJOYMENT: GGGG
OVERALL: 3.5 Gs
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