The Stinal Countdown: The Definitive Ten #10: Welcome to Dead House

Okay look. I know on paper this being the final pick may seem underwhelming, and trust me, it is for some, and it's also underwhelming that I pick the first four books as part of a list like this, but I think it's also fitting that our last book in this definitive ten is a look back at the first book in the series. Without it, we literally would not have Goosebumps. Or maybe we would? When you think of a series, you often think of its first offering. And Goosebumps starts off rather strong with that first offering. So let's talk about what makes it so definitive. And after this rundown, we'll also rank all ten books in terms of their value. So let's get started and talk about Welcome to Dead House. 

The year is 1991 (or maybe early 1992, not sure how long the timeline goes, but still). R.L. Stine was already making a name for himself through his Fear Street books, and served as head writer for the Nick Jr. puppet series Eureeka's Castle. He was also adding new horror stories to Scholastic's "Point" line. Around the same time, Stine released a series of books for Scholastic called "Space Cadets". Written as a comedy series about a group of kids who end up in outer space. The series ended at three books, which seems low, but for any book series, especially in the early 90s, that's usually the case. Not every book was destined to have a run like The Babysitters Club, Scholastic's juggernaut at the time. 

So, while Stine's Cadets had a failure to launch, he was still working with Goosebumps. And if Space Cadets proved anything, it's that Stine had a knack for writing for kids. But maybe the element that was missing was the thing that was making him a known name among teen readers. During a lunch with his editor at the time suggested that he could adapt his horror style to kids books. Stine didn't just want to do "Fear Street Junior" however and focused his work more on monsters, magic and other things that go bump in the night. After perusing the TV Guide and seeing an ad for "Goosebumps Week on Channel 11", Stine had his name for his book series. Goosebumps was born. Stine would be brought into a six book deal at the time and started with Welcome to Dead House. 

But this isn't entirely just Stine's story. While Stine was the one to write the stories, there was still a need for a cover artist. You know the old expression "Don't judge a book by its cover"? Well in the case of Goosebumps, its covers were just as pivotal, if not more so, to its success. Scholastic brought in two artists for the job. Jim Thiesen, who would do a single cover, Stay out of the Basement, and a New Jersey artist named Tim Jacobus. Jacobus had started to earn a name for himself for his style of artwork. Airbrushed art with a focus on color and perspective. And a Converse sneaker or two when he could get away with it. Tim's style was perfect for the vision of Goosebumps. And his kid-friendly yet still freaky artwork was what Schoslatic was looking for,

While you could argue the covers to come cemented Tim's status as the perfect pick for the series, his work for Welcome to Dead House pretty much proved that he was the right man for the job. Visually, it's just a house. At least that's what you'd think when you first look at it. You might not notice the creepy individual at the window, or how cracked and broken the house looks. The broken step, the busted railing, the general state of disrepair the house is under. While it looks livable, there is a strong sense of this being a "dead house". Tim doesn't use much black in his art as he feels that for a kids book, darker purples and blues work better for shadows. Add in the blue, starry sky and the dead trees among overgrown foliage, as well as the open door and inviting orange glow, and you have everything you need for a perfect book cover. Creepy, pretty, and intriguing. 

The Benson family move to the mysterious town of Dark Falls. Believing that a deceased relative left them a house in their will, the family settle in, despite everything about Dark Falls being rather creepy. The trees blot out the sun, the townsfolk are a bit odd, their dog Petey seems to be in a panic and eldest child Amanda thinks she sees a strange figure in the house watching them. Time passes and the Bensons begin to settle in to Dark Falls. Amanda and her brother Josh make friends like Ray Thurston and Karen Somerset. But one night when Petey disappears and their family are invited to an event at the amphitheater, things start to go from bad to seriously bad for the Benson family. 

First they discover that their dog Petey is dead, and is now a part of the living dead. Ray Thurston soon reveals that the family were lured to Dark Falls and sent to live in the "Dead House", the house where eventually they'd be killed and the town would feast on their blood. You see, the entire town of Dark Falls are the living dead. Ray was the boy watching the Bensons at all time, deemed "the watcher". When Josh accidentally flashes his halogen flashlight on Ray, Ray's flesh burns and melts off. So they're like vampire zombie things. They soon learn from their realtor, a man named Compton Dawes, the true fate of what befell Dark Falls. 

Once, decades prior, Dark Falls was a thriving little community. That was until one day when the nearby plastics factory suffered a meltdown of sorts, causing a strange gas to billow into town and kill everyone. However, it didn't fully kill the townsfolk. They returned as a sort of living dead, still needing to feed on the blood of the living to survive. Amanda and Josh soon rescue their parents and escape, not before knocking over a tree and causing the people inside to melt like Ray did. The episode ending on a rather dark twist with the Bensons seeing another family already moving into the Dead House, but they opt not to warn the new victims before leaving. 

What makes Welcome to Dead House work is its story. It's probably the most intense horror story in Goosebumps. And there is a reason for that. One that Stine kind of regrets in hindsight. Being the first book and Stine's first real horror story for kids, he wasn't too sure how to handle the horror in the story. He's since found the book to be too intense with its gore and violence. And yes, you could argue it's silly to consider having to tone down a horror story, but I can also see his point. His intention for Goosebumps, at least over time, was more of a horror comedy for kids. Scary but never too intense. Dark, but never (for the most part) straight up distressing. To stimulate imagination while also not trying to cause nightmares. So you can see how he feels in hindsight about a book with melting faces, dead dogs (okay, maybe he was fine with that part) or a guy's head being caved in with a halogen flashlight. Oh, and THAT dream.

Midway through Welcome to Dead House, right before we start to actually build the plot, Amanda has this really bizarre dream. More prophetic when you consider what Dark Falls had planned for the family, but still bizarre. She dreams that her family are at the dinner table, but just their skeletons. Barely alive and seemingly feasting on other human bones. And before you say the obvious, no Tim wasn't aware of this happening when he drew the cover for Say Cheese and Die! Tim really didn't get a chance to read Goosebumps until further down the line, so this was all just one weird coincidence. 

But given that it's a scene Stine wrote and not a scene he had to shove into the book in post, it comes off as the weirdest timing. But it also perfectly validates the point that I think Stine was going for with the book feeling too dark. Because you never really get a nightmare as odd and as disturbing as the skeleton nightmare in most of the books that followed. It's a surprisingly gory book and Stine likely felt in hindsight that for Goosebumps to work, it needed to be given a serious overhaul in how its horror worked. Although I'd argue the slower pace of the first half of the book is more a problem than skeleton families, really.

Setting for any book is important, especially the first book of a series. Dark Falls works well given how the town is described as almost always dark with barely any sun peeking through the trees. Gives this real sense of darkness and adds to the foreboding nature of the book. How the characters like Mr. Dawes and Ray go from odd but friendly to real threats to the Benson family make the horror work well enough. The story feels like a fight for survival, albeit a rushed one given its history. 

Speaking of the Benson family, they serve as a pretty basic family structure for Goosebumps. Mom and dad more oblivious to things, Josh is mopey, Petey is paranoid and our protagonist, Amanda, is pretty much your standard fare for protags. But she still works as our POV to this whole bizarre situation. So while never the most dynamic of families, you still at least want to see them survive the ordeal, which they do. At least in the book. The book was ultimately adapted for the series as part of its second season. And while much of it feels the same, it changes a lot. No melting faces, far less violence, a focus on a good luck wreath that doesn't matter and gets destroyed midway through the story. And Petey, I guess, kills the Bensons later on? Up to interpretation, that one.

And really that would be it for the legacy of Welcome to Dead House, if not for the fact that we once again have to talk about the ill-fated Goosebumps Gold. One of the planned books for the series was Happy Holidays From Dead House. Aside from the obvious Christmastime theme for the book, similar to The Haunted Mask Lives!, there's no answer as to what the original plan was. A belief via a now debunked Amazon page for the book was that it may have been a prequel, featuring how Ray Thurston's family were lured to Dark Falls and the Dead House, but again, we have no answer to what it really was. And while the other two books, The Haunted Mask Lives! and Slappy New Year, seemed to get second chances, so far any Dead House revival remains just that. Dead. 

Welcome to Dead House is a definitive Goosebumps book, not just for being the first, but feeling ingrained to the idea of what Goosebumps is. Stories of kids having to deal with something weird and scary going on and trying to survive it. Many books take this concept and run with it perhaps a bit better, but I honestly feel Dead House still does it best. Once we start with the real urgency to the plot, we rarely take a breather. It feels like the horror in concept that you want to believe Goosebumps is from start to finish. And while yes, much of that definition isn't there by the time we reach this more modern age, there's still splashes of that ultra-horror from time to time. Stine may have felt the book doesn't fully represent his vision, but I think it really does. You never forget your first. And even if it has its flaws, Welcome to Dead House is certainly unforgettable.

RANKING AND CONCLUSION: THE DEFINITIVE TEN

And now for the final overall ranking of these books and my final thoughts. We have our ten books, so from Number Ten to Number One, how do they stack up?

#10. A NIGHT IN TERROR TOWER

#9. THE HORROR AT CAMP JELLYJAM

#8. WELCOME TO DEAD HOUSE

#7. SAY CHEESE AND DIE!

#6. THE WEREWOLF OF FEVER SWAMP

#5. ONE DAY AT HORRORLAND

#4. STAY OUT OF THE BASEMENT

#3. MONSTER BLOOD

#2. NIGHT OF THE LIVING DUMMY II

#1. THE HAUNTED MASK

While I could switch and swap them around, I feel these ten books fit the mold of what Goosebumps is mores o than any others in the series. There were some close contenders including You Can't Scare Me! The Blob That Ate Everyone, Ghost Camp, Phantom of the Auditorium and even Monster Blood II, but I think my choices make more sense in the long run. Again, this is all opinion, so if your list of definitive picks are different, that's cool. For me, this was more sharing what I define Goosebumps by in terms of how I look at the series. What I feel are the motivating factors that make the franchise so memorable. Goosebumps turns thirty this July. And there's definitely more of these tributary blogs to come as we reach the big day.