NNtG: Bone Chillers #05: Strange Brew

It's time we brew up another trip to the world of Betsy Haynes and Bone Chillers. And we have witchcraft on the docket this time around. I mean, given the grossness of our last look with Back to School, hopefully we won't need nausea medication after we're through. So let's see what's brewing as we talk about Strange Brew.

COVER STORY

Tim Jacobus strikes again with another really cool cover. Granted, one that just reminds me of Go Eat Worms! which is never a positive. But in terms of gross and creepy, this one nails it. It's a cool idea overall with the spell book also acting like a makeshift cauldron. We have some classic oozing slime, the eyeballs which are a creepy touch, the hand gripping the bottom side, bats, and some blue worms. You want a cover that sells the idea of it being about witchcraft, look no further, I guess. Gross, creepy and memorable. Top marks yet again.

STORY

Tori Pardo's summer is looking like it's going to suck. Her best friend Heather Hartner is going to Florida for the summer and that leaves Tori stuck in boring old Domburg, Illinois by herself. She was hoping for a family vacation, but with her little brother Max in little league, those plans are shot dead. Tori is jealous of the attention Max gets from her family. At one point, she was so jealous that she created her own imaginary friend named Celeste to keep her busy. But that was years ago and Celeste is long gone from her imagination. On the way to school, Tori and Heather spot something strange. A notebook with "Victoria Pardo" written on it. Tori's full name. At first Tori thinks it's her diary, but when the girls look inside, all that's written is a recipe for a storm. 

The recipe for a lightning storm involves 1 cauldron, 2 round smooth stones, 3 dead lightning bugs, 4 chicken bones, 5 dead oak leaves, 6 spider legs, 7 pinches of red pepper, 8 lumps of coal, 9 broken matchsticks, 10 black cat hairs, 11 toenail clippings, 12 horsefly wings and 13 cups of scummy pond water. Interesting list of items, but sadly lacking in fifty Oprahs. The girls are confused, but just think it's some weird joke as they head to school. But the curiosity still weighs on Tori's head. Could this actually work? When she gets home she manages to find a few of the items needed for the spell. A soup pot for the cauldron, barbecue coal for that end. Even so much as plucking off spider legs and dead fly wings, which is certainly a hobby. With most of her items, Tori is now super excited to give this a try. Though she needs those cat hairs, and to convince Heather to try this out as well.

Tori manages to get Heather to help her out, and they use ten black cat hairs from one of Heather's plushies. You know that if Stine were writing this, they'd have just torn a chunk off of a real cat's body. They get everything in place and make the brew, and sure enough a storm hits. A big one as well that seems to flood the streets. The girls run back to Tori's house and the storm soon vanishes. Mr. and Mrs. Pardo come home with Max who's upset that his little league game was rained out, which makes Tori happy at least. Our protagonist... yay? 

Regardless, Heather still thinks it must have been a coincidence. A coincidence that apparently caused a lot of property damage in town, but surely a coincidence. Tori finds Heather to be more boring now. Not like her old imaginary friend Celeste. The next day at school, Heather falls over and accuses Tori of tripping her. Tori tries to claim her innocence, but a pair of boys named Ted Kinner and Paul Meyer also claim it was Tori. This makes Tori want some revenge, and she soon finds it in another brew recipe. One to make anyone barf. A squashed bug, a rotten potato, three pennies, an old sock, and a partridge in a pear tree. Okay, that last one wasn't part of the spell. So, she wants to prove her innocence that she didn't hurt and embarrass her friend by... hurting and embarrassing her friend. Our protagonist... yay?

Sure enough, Tori does the spell on Heather. Oh, it works. Not just on Heather, but everyone at school. Just a wave of vomit. Everyone gets sick, except Tori of course. Doesn't take Heather too long to realize that this was another spell, and I guess this time she believes that it's not coincidence. After the two make up, Tori cops to being the one to cause the vomit wave. Heather also claims that maybe it wasn't Tori who tripped her, but something else. And I think we all know where this twist is going, but we're still a while away. For now, Heather tells Tori to promise not to do any more magic spell. Tori promises, but seeing as we're on page 47 of this 131 page story, you can draw your own conclusions here as to how long that lasts.

Not long after, Tori gets another note in the book. Whoever's writing it says they'll reveal themselves if Tori does another concoction. A cup of grease, three dandelion puffs and a pinch of dust, which she has to apply on her face and lightning bugs will lead her to the sky. Tori takes this as her being able to fly, so she decides to just go against the promise she made to do yet another spell. It works and the lightning bugs take her to meet with the writer of the spells. And, sure enough, it's Celeste, Tori's imaginary friend. Or, in this case, not so imaginary. She's come back because she feels that Tori needs her again. She's still hurt though that Tori moved on from her years ago when she befriended Heather, but still feels that with her power now strong enough, she can be her real friend forever now. Tori suggests that maybe Celeste befriends Heather too, but Celeste clearly isn't cool with this plan as she disappears and Tori's taken home.

Tori wakes up in her bedroom and thinks that it must have all been a dream. However, she soon gets a call from Heather's mom saying that the weirdest damn thing happened the previous night. Heather's arm broke. Tori is weirded out by this, but doesn't fully suspect Celeste. She then gets another recipe. This time on a bathroom mirror. Spiderwebs, mud and grass, put in on her desk and make an X on all of the desks in class. She does so the next day and the entire classroom fills with bubbles and suds. The principal, Mr. Doursley, isn't too thrilled at the sudden suds and tries to get answers from the kids. When he reaches Tori however, he suddenly has a sneezing fit and has to leave for the hospital. Tori's glad to be out of the line of fire, but realizes that this was probably all Celeste's work again.

That night, Tori meets with Celeste again who admits that everything was her doing. The suds, Mr. Doursley's sneezing fit, all of it. Tori's bothered, but doesn't really say much to the already very dangerous imaginary friend of hers. The next day, Heather calls, telling her that she knows that Tori broke the promise and was casting spells again. And she's certain that her broken arm was also because of Tori's magic. And, rightfully I might add, Heather calls it quits with Tori, since associating with her is literally becoming a life or death situation. 

The next day, Tori gets another spell from Celeste. This time it's pickle juice, stale coffee and muddy water, put in a bottle for the "best surprise of all". Tori does just that, since clearly she hasn't learned her lesson yet. Sure enough, Celeste shows up again and takes Tori to the school that night, going into Mr. Doursley's office and tearing the place up. All while Tori, and oh man does this just make me chuckle and cringe, "Hummed the latest Snoop Doggy Dog hit" as she does it. Oh my god these books are so hilariously lame. Turns out this spell is an arson spell as the papers burn and swirl all around. And Tori's actually pretty happy that the school's going to burn down. Our protagonist... yay? Like, I get it from a kid's perspective, but what the actual hell?

But now Tori has another problem. She's certain that Heather's going to realize it was her that burned down the school. She visits Celeste again and chastises her for burning down the school? Dude... YOU WERE DANCING AND EXCITED ABOUT IT THREE PAGES AGO AND NOW THAT YOU REALIZE YOU'RE IN TROUBLE, YOU SUDDENLY FIND THIS TO BE A BAD THING? Again, from her POV at the time, it was more excitement than a need for malice, but good lord. Celeste lowers the boom that this was really all Tori's doing. Her anger at being left behind brought Celeste back. And every spell done so far has been revenge on someone she's had an issue with. The storm? To get revenge on Max. The barfing, the suds, even the arson. It was all what she wanted. And now that Celeste is back, she intends on being together with Tori forever.

Celeste then shows Tori a voodoo doll of Heather. This explains how Heather kept getting injured. Tori snatches the doll and runs off, but not before seeing that Celeste has a Tori doll as well. The next morning she talks with Heather and reveals everything that's happened. But as she explains, Celeste shows up as well, not happy at Tori for blabbing. She turns her shoelaces into giant snakes, ready to attack the girls, but Tori soon realizes that to get rid of Celeste, she has to no longer have Celeste in her thoughts. The two girls talk about how they're both real BFFs and not Celeste. This eventually causes Celeste to disappear forever. The girls celebrate and it even seems that Tori's completely changed her view on others, even wanting to go to Max's little league games. So, a super happy ending to send us out. Yes, we really did end a horror story with the power of friendship. Is this Bone Chillers or Care Bears? 

CONCLUSION

Strange Brew is solid, but nothing too special. Your basic story of what happens if you have powers you can't control and the addiction that comes with being able to have such power. Adding in the wrinkle of it all being the work of an imaginary friend is a nice touch as well. Though it does bring to question how Celeste really existed at all. I know the book says that she managed to gain power over time, but she's still imaginary. A figment of the mind of Tori. Unless the real twist is that Tori had these magic powers the whole time and her frustrations made Celeste come to life, which probably is the easiest answer here, it's a bit questionable. but not enough to break the book either. I do like Celeste as a villain though, being very much the more evil thoughts of Tori made manifest. And the idea of the imaginary friend wanting revenge does make for some decent horror, especially for kids.

Tori is complicated. You feel bad enough for her given dealing with her best friend about to be gone and her own issues with being ignored by her parents over Max. But it also turns her into being rather unlikable. And, again, it feels really weird to have her be so happy at the thought of burning down the school, only to really feel bad when she realizes that she'll get in trouble for it. This also happening after being concerned about the principal's health and then just being fine with messing with his office feels really odd. If this was always Tori's mentality before this happened, this need for destruction and the suffering of others, then sure. And yes, I do get that it does come from her excitement of having Celeste really in her life. But it feels so weirdly done. 

Scares are kind of just there for this one. Save for the accidents that befall Heather and maybe the puking scene for how rushed it is. And, as previously mentioned, the idea of Celeste in general. I also don't mind the way she's defeated as it makes the most sense. If she's imaginary, stop imagining her. If you stop paying attention to the monsters, they lose their powers. Works better here than it did in Ghost Camp, I'll say that much. Overall, a solid enough book. A bit of weird character moments and it's a bit all over the place in parts, but for a book about witchcraft and the dangers of magic, it does the trick. Bone Chillers remains a rather interesting series of books. Strange Brew gets a B+.