NNtG: Graveyard School #2: The Skeleton on the Skateboard

It's time to bring yet another contender into the ring of the non-GB challengers. This time around, we're getting schooled. Graveyard School that is. Released in 1994 and lasting until 1998 with a decent run of 28 books, the series was written by Nola Thacker until the god-tier pseudonym "Tom B. Stone". Thacker's history with novels include some ghostwriting for the likes of Laguna Beach and The Baby Sitters Club, and later writing for the Skating Dreams book series.

The books all take place within the school of Grove Hill Elementary School where, as you'd expect, strange things happen, and horrific characters are all around. And a neat feature for the series is a bit at the end like crosswords, mad libs, or other stuff. Always like when the extra mile is gone. Normally, I'd rather wait to do the first book, but given finding these books can be a case of wing and a prayer sometimes, we'll start at the second offering, which has one hell of a name that I couldn't resist. It's time to go goofy foot for The Skeleton on the Skateboard.

COVER STORY

I like the cover style of Graveyard School. Obviously, it uses a similar border style to Goosebumps, only not so much bloody as torn up. Still works. I will say some of the fonts could be better, the book title in particular looking a bit a bit lame. Then there's the art itself and it's pretty sick with, as the book promises, a skateboarding skeleton. It's a creepy image. Probably not on the scale of picnic skeletons to scare me as a kid, but still just a really neat piece of art that also screams mid-90s. Although, speaking of that title, it does give off a very Bailey School Kids feel. You could see that series writing a book called Skeletons Don't Ride Skateboards or whatever gatekeeping crap those kids are on about.

STORY

We open the book with protagonist Ryan "Skate" McGraw crashing his skateboard at the graveyard. He's not dead, at least he's not sure he is, as his cousin Vickie Wheilson checks on him. Vickie is described as wearing torn jeans with a purple sweater, orange high-tops with day-glo marker marks on them and a green skateboard helmet. In case you needed to know this book came out in 1994 or anything (Oh god, take me back!). She also scolds him for attempting to skate Dead Man's Curve. You see, nobody's skated down Dead Man's Curve while still standing. 

The curve is part of a long hill known as Skateboard Hill since it's such an easy attraction for kids pretending they're a Superman. And Dead Man's Curve is a narrow path with a bridge that leads to a steep drop through the parking lot of a now demolished church and into the cemetery. Nobody knows if the cemetery is the reason for the name or if the dead man part is because someone died attempting the stunt. Skate's not sure himself. But he's determined to be the first to make it down the curve without being the latter. As the kids leave the graveyard they hear what sounds like the wheels of a skateboard and exit, unaware that someone's watching them.

Skate arrives at Graveyard School and gets chewed out by the assistant principal, the interestingly named Hannibal Lucre about how it's not wise to skate on the school steps. As he arrives in class, he's more focused looking out the window and on Dead Man's Curve. He had attempted the curve the prior summer, but broke his collarbone which screwed him out of any more attempts. His daydreams are broken when he's called the office to learn he has to babysit his sister, which screws him out of more attempts for the evening. After that, he returns to the classroom and looks out the window again and thinks he saw someone on the curve.

As Vickie skates home, she gets accosted by Eddie Hoover, our bully of the book. He's described as being rather wide. Like wide body, wide head, the works. As he skates at her and antagonizes her, Vickie ends up elbowing Eddie in the gut. Sadly she should have gone for a Judas Effect because that just made Eddie mad. She ends up with nowhere to go as two bikes and a hydrant are in her way. She leaps the hydrant, and seemingly bailed bad, waking up on the curb pretty banged up. As Eddie leaves, Skate and his five year old sister Christine show up. Vickie tells them about Eddie and says that someday she's going to make sure he gets what's coming to him.

The next day at school, there's still beef between Eddie and Vickie, but also something else being talked about. Someone has apparently made it down Dead Man's Curve. It wasn't Skate, so that just pisses him off. But more important than that right now, much like Vickie, Skate's ready to finally shut Eddie up. The two head to Dead Man's Curve and ponder if it really was someone going down the hill... or someone's ghost. The ghost that resides in the one tombstone in the cemetery that glows in the dark. Because I guess this guy really wanted a flashy funeral. The two investigate, only to be scared by Eddie and his friend Roy Carne in bedsheets because I guess it's really easy to scare these kids. 

This continues to escalate for a bit until Eddie starts to gloat about his skateboard and mock's Skate's. Vickie sticks up for Skate saying he could easily be the one to make it down Dead Man's Curve, to which Eddie issues a challenge between himself and Skate. Winner gets both boards. Skate's now in an unwinnable situation thanks to Vickie. Either turn down the challenge and be branded a chicken or accept the challenge and most likely die, but he decides to accept it and with Halloween coming up, says the perfect time would be midnight on Halloween night during the full moon for dramatic effect. 

As they continue to practice the curve, Skate and Vickie finally meet our mystery skater. A tall, skinny man dressed in a large flannel shirt (I mean it is 1994), faded jeans, boots and sunglasses with flames on them. This would be our titular Skeleton on the Skateboard named, and okay this is a solid pun, Ben Marrow. Of course, the kids can't really see how skeletal Ben is yet, but are more surprised that he's skating without protection. The book mentions that Skate wants to die on his board which is grim for like an 11-year old to consider, but at least he'd rather die with the proper equipment so that's nice... I think. Vickie mentions Eddie Hoover and the challenge and the kids ask if Ben can help them out and he does so, only if Skate gives up his board if he wins. Skate hems and haws, so Ben tells him to think on it and talk to him the next day.

A few days later Skate runs into Ben again. He doesn't offer the skateboard, but does promise to give Ben something in return for the lessons. Vickie arrives and is concerned about what's going on. That working with Ben is a bad idea. But given that Skate's in this mess because Vickie ran her mouth, he doesn't listen to her and accepts Ben's offer, only for Ben to disappear again before elaborating on what he'll offer. Later that night, Ben has a nightmare about bailing on the curve and dying. After that scare he checks the phone book for any Ben Marrow, but can't find anything. And with Halloween approaching, he's had no luck finding him at all.

Skate practices down the curve again, but as he makes it to the cemetery, he gets scared by Vickie. She came to make amends by helping Skate find Ben Marrow, who she thinks lives, in a figurative sense, in the cemetery. Her reasoning is that Dead Man's Curve got its name in the 1800s, and it must have been from someone dying on the curve, and that someone could no doubt be Ben Marrow. They search the graves, but find nobody named Ben Marrow. But they do get attacked by Basement Bart, AKA Mr. Bartholomew, the school janitor, which, okay that's concerning. Probably would have helped to read book 1, but whatever.

Not much happens on the last few days before Halloween, other than a heated confrontation between Eddie and Skate. The night before, Skate notices that his board seems to be floating and glowing. He manages to stop it from doing so, then blames Eddie despite no point in this book making it seem as if Eddie is adept in necromancy. Halloween finally arrives and we get to the contest. They head down Skateboard Hill and both wipe out pretty early, but keep going. They do a best of three, but it eventually brings them to the final challenge on Dead Man's Curve.

The two head down the curve but Eddie is in bad shape. It's then that Ben Marrow shows up and is now a full on skeleton man. It's now pretty obvious what the deal has become. It's now seemingly for Eddie's life. But Skate manages to get Ben to chase him as he manages to make it through the curve in one piece, unlike Ben who ends up crashing and falling to pieces. But Skate did it. He managed to make it down Dead Man's Curve in one piece. And Eddie's okay too as he just bailed at worst, so mega happy ending. Skate gets Eddie's board in the deal, but it's so burning hot that he throws it in the water, creating a steaming explosion. A sign that maybe Ben Marrow's gone for good. Some time later, Skate and Vickie notice that there's definitely a skeleton up on the hill doing 360 flips. And since there's a sequel, maybe one day we'll see what else is to come.

CONCLUSION

This book was okay, albeit pretty dry all things considered. There's a great premise. A kid so obsessed with something he'd do anything to succeed at. So in essence the book is more like a deal with the devil, with Ben Marrow wanting to take something from Skate, and seemingly Eddie as well. It's not as established, but it would make sense if Eddie also made a deal with Ben and we were seeing the results in the race. Other than that though, this book's biggest problem is a lack of scares and a real slow pace. A lot of build to the contest with a lot less horror or cheap scares that work for Goosebumps or GB adjacent books. 

And while there is the concept of Ben Marrow and what we get is interesting, it's a shame there's not much of it. From both his more humanoid form and the skeleton form, he's a memorable enough villain. I guess that can excuse how little there is of him in the story. Skate and Vickie are decent enough protagonists and Eddie works as your stock villain just fine. Well-rounded is the best description I can give on that end.

There's also the characters in the school which are more prevalent in other books, but they just exist in this one. Maybe Basement Bart gets something, but even that feels like more having to place them in the story and less finding a reason to place them in the story. Not exactly instilling strong feelings of unique ideas for the Graveyard School. But it's my first one read, so that opinion could change in time. But for now, this one is the definition of "it exists". Not one you'll feel burned by, but one you wished had more meat to it. But I guess we should have realized this book was just bare bones. Hope I can read the sequel at some point. The Skeleton on the Skateboard gets a C.