A Case of the Bumps: Mommy's Alright, Daddy's Alright (Part 2)

Time for the second chunk of this look through the land of questionable parenting skills in the Goosebumps book series. Last book we left off at The Werewolf of Fever Swamp, so we'll make our way at least to the thirtieth tome of Stine's strange saga. So which parents deserve praise and which ones deserve a call from the government? Let's find out. 

Once again, these will be the grades for each set of parents:

GOOD Parents
AVERAGE Parents
BAD Parents
Call CPS!!! 

YOU CAN'T SCARE ME!: Eddie's parents don't even really appear in the book, so it's hard to really gauge them. I don't know if they're good parents, average parents, or bad ones. Given their son is to the point that he dreams of siccing a dog on a girl he doesn't like, that could be considered bad. Otherwise, I can't say one way or the other. Mr. and Mrs... whatever Eddie's last name is: AVERAGE Parents.

ONE DAY AT HORRORLAND: The ultimate rarity of Goosebumps. Parents who are an active part of the horror. In the case of this book, the entire Morris family (and Superfluous Clay) have to survive the nightmare park. So there's never a moment where the parents don't believe Lizzy, Luke or Clay. And by the end, it's the entire family working together to try and escape HorrorLand. Yes, the family splits up once they arrive in the park, but I can forgive that as the family still not believing there's any real threat to the park. So, no complaints really. Mr. and Mrs. Morris: GOOD Parents.

WHY I'M AFRAID OF BEES: Time for Mr. and Mrs. Lutz. We don't get much with the dad to gauge him, but judging by Mrs. Lutz alone, it's really no wonder why Gary has his self esteem issues. We do get that moment where even she laughs at Gary's inability to open the peanut butter jar. Given this kid already has to deal with constant torment from the other kids, and even his little sister, to not even have his parents on his side is a gut punch. I wouldn't call them abusive level, especially given how they seem to love Dirk-Gary to the point that Dirk doesn't want to switch back, but clearly they aren't doing right by actual Gary. Mr. and Mrs. Lutz: BAD Parents. Also, given Dirk didn't want to leave Gary's body, that makes me wonder about his parents. So, presumably, Mr. and Mrs. Davis: CALL CPS!!!

MONSTER BLOOD II: Covered in Part One.

DEEP TROUBLE/DEEP TROUBLE II: Mr. and Mrs. Deep are nonexistent in the books, so the focus on parenting goes to the uncle, Dr. D. And I'd say he's fine enough. He cares about Billy and Sheena, which is easy to see throughout the books. Downside is the "scientist" trope that makes him at first unable to believe that a mermaid could exist. And there's his ethics, which at first are bad given he considers getting the mermaid for the zoo if the money can help with his marine biology research, but he's a better man in the end for rejecting the check and keeping the mermaids a secret, claiming them to not exist. Though, he does end up getting his nephew and niece nearly killed on several occasions in both books, though that's more unfortunate circumstance than his own fault. So, I'd say Dr. D. is fine. Dr. Deep: GOOD Uncle.

THE SCARECROW WALKS AT MIDNIGHT: Similar to the last book, nothing with the actual parents here, so we'll cover the other relatives instead, Jodie and Mark's grandparents. I'd say they're in the good category. Before Stanley found the superstitions book, they were pretty cool. Chocolate chip pancakes and ghost stories sounds like some fun on the farm. And they're people you can feel bad for given Stanley's control over them. Having them do his bidding lest he bring the scarecrows to life. So, in that aspect, Jodie and Mark's grandparents: GOOD Parents. Stanley is a CALL CPS!!! though. While he does seem to do good by Sticks, given what he does to the grandparents, I think that's reason enough.

GO EAT WORMS!: Todd and Regina's parents. Not much really with them in the book, but at first I'd be at least tempted to give them a good rating for being sick of Todd's crap. It's clear that the worm obsession is going too far and when it starts to really get bad, they tell him to get rid of the worms. However, they clearly don't try to curb his interests in insect study as after Todd's experience with worms, he goes right into pinning butterflies which is somehow worse than the worms. So, willing to try to get him off one bad obsession, but not another. No wonder Todd sucks so much. Mr. and Mrs. Barstow: BAD Parents. 

GHOST BEACH: No parents here. No grandparents or uncles and aunts either. Just really, really, really old cousins Brad and Agatha Sadler. And they're both ghosts who presumably kill Jerry and Terri at the end. So I take it that Jerry and Terri's parents weren't aware of their deaths so they just sent the kids to stay there without knowing one way or the other? Even with no appearance in the book, that's BAD Parents level for sure. But the old ghost cousins: CALL THE GHOSTBUSTERS!!!

RETURN OF THE MUMMY: Covered in Part One.

PHANTOM OF THE AUDITORIUM: Since Brooke's parents play less of a role, we'll cover Zeke's. Much like everyone else, they don't believe Zeke's stories at first that he's not the one whose been sabotaging the Phantom play. To the point that they ground him and take away any source of entertainment for a while. So they're at least authoritative. But they do eventually believe Zeke once the evidence of Emile becomes hard to ignore. So, not good enough to trust Zeke initially, but far from the most unreasonable. Mr. and Mrs. Matthews: AVERAGE Parents. 

ATTACK OF THE MUTANT:  So, we have another Mr. and Mrs. Matthews. Mr. Matthews is the more authoritative of the two to the point of being a hardass. Though, given how Skipper's obsession with comics goes overboard through the story, it's hard to say he's wrong in wanting to get Skipper off the comics and focus on his schoolwork. Mrs. Matthews is more sympathetic and less against Skipper's interest of comics, so there's at least that conflict. So it's not hard to see why Skipper turned out how he is. A kid raised on mixed methods of parenting. So, I'll at least give them an Average rating. The other Mr. and Mrs. Matthews: AVERAGE Parents.

MY HAIRIEST ADVENTURE: This one isn't as cut and dry as the others we've covered as technically all of the families in the town aren't really family, nor are the adults the actual parents of their kids, hell, nor are the kids really kids. The adults all work for Dr. Murkin, tasked to raise dogs who are turned into children. Once that process wore off and the kids became dogs again, they all leave. Yes, they keep things secret as to what's going on, mainly for plot convenience, but they all are heartbroken once their child reverts, case in point Lily's parents. In the case of Larry Boyd's parents, they too feel heartbreak for what's happened. But they also decide to stay and keep Larry as their pet when he's a dog again, while also trying with Jasper the cat to see if the experiment works on cats. 

So, this one's definitely one of the weirder cases, but I can buy that while yes, the dog children is an experiment, there was actual love and care from the families, especially the Boyds. They even take Larry to see Dr. Murkin not long after he tells them about the growing hair. So, it's at least a case of Goosebumps parents listening to the concerns of their child. I think that's more than enough reason to say that Mr. and Mrs. Boyd (and the other parents): GOOD Parents.

A NIGHT IN TERROR TOWER: Well, this one's tricky, given that Sue and Eddie's parents are killed off before the events of the book, and the two are sent to the future to escape the Lord High Executioner. The book ends with the wizard Morgred becoming their legal guardian, I think? That would be fine, but then I remember that just before the ending, Morgred, having failed to send Sue and Eddie back to the present, just pouts about it and leaves them for dead. That's pretty worrying. But they seem to have a somewhat normal family life afterward, given the follow-up book Return to Terror Tower in the Give Yourself Goosebumps series. So he got better maybe? Still, got to demerit him on the whole leaving them for dead thing. Morgred: BAD Parent.

THE CUCKOO CLOCK OF DOOM: And here we are. The most notorious case of Goosebumps Parents in the original series. Mr. and Mrs. Webster suck. They treat Michael like crap and constantly take the side of the younger sibling Tara, unable to even fathom that how they favor her may be one of the factors as to why she's such a terror to Michael. Granted, they do at least give Michael a bike for his birthday and they throw him a birthday party, so they're not monstrous to him. But the decision to play favorites and immediately condemn him when he's in the right and the evidence is plain as day as to Tara being at fault is enough to consider them bad. Though, who knows? Maybe the Mr. and Mrs. Webster of the Tara-free timeline are better. But the first timeline Mr. and Mrs. Webster: CALL CPS!!!

MONSTER BLOOD III: Covered in Part One. Technically, we have another GB parent in this one, but we'll cover Aunt Dee with part 4, so, you know, we can give this more of an ending than Stine did with the original 62.

IT CAME FROM BENEATH THE SINK!: And we end this one on Mr. and Mrs. Merton. They fall more on the stock versions of these stories, usually not believing Kat for anything. The sticking point being the ladder incident where Mr. Merton falls and blames Kat for it. And they're also the kind of parents who are like "Oh, the dog ran away? Oh well, that's the kids' job to worry about." I wouldn't go full CPS as before the Grool screwed Kat over, she was going to have a bitchin' birthday party. So they do love their kids, but they are the kind who presume too much too soon. Though given most of it were the events of an evil sponge, I can see why they'd doubt their kid. So, ultimately, Mr. and Mrs. Merton: AVERAGE Parents. 

And that is our next batch of parental units. Next time, we have the thirties and forties to cover and see if the parenting gets better or worse. Spoiler alert: Expect the latter.