Sunday, June 6, 2021

The Stinal Countdown: Goosebumps #43: The Beast From the East


Time for another beastly book in the Goosebumps series. We're getting into Stine's wilder concepts and that usually means "batten down the hatches, we're in for a doozy". And few books do doozy better than The Beast From the East. I wonder if Bam Bam Bigelow knew of this book?

THE BEAST FROM THE EAST

RELEASE MONTH: May, 1996
FRONT TAGLINE: He's a real animal!

COVER STORY

Tim Jacobus knocks it out of the park again with one of the most vibrant looking Goosebumps covers. I love how it almost looks like a bizarre alien planet with the plant life, and even how the sunlight sets. If the ultimate twist of the book was that it was set on an alien planet, I'd believe it. I said that the cover feels very "Lisa Frank vomit" and I think that's accurate enough. The Beast is also a great design, looking like a mix of a bear and a gorilla. Although its detailed belly button and purple nurple are the only things remotely scary with this cover. 

EVERY BEAST FOR HIMSELF!

Ginger Wald and her identical twin brothers, Nat and Pat, are lost in the woods. No problem. After all, Ginger did go to that stupid nature camp.

Still, there's something odd about this part of the woods. The grass is yellow. The bushes are purple. And the trees are like skyscrapers.

Then Ginger and her brothers meet the beasts. They're big blue furry creatures. And they want to play a game. The winners get to live. The losers get eaten...

STORY

Ginger Wald and her family have decided to go out for a camping trip in the woods. Feels very Norman Rockwell-ish a concept, if not for Nat and Pat, Ginger's bratty little identical twin brothers. The twins are such a nuisance that Mr. Wald tells Ginger to take the twins into the woods, jokingly telling Ginger to lose them there. In fairness, given he was really high on having this fun trip in the woods, you can't really blame Mr. Wald for just wanting to get rid of his children. But, so far, a very Hansel and Gretel-ish feeling to start off this story, huh?

Sure enough, Ginger, Nat and Pat get lost in the woods. They've gone so deep into the woods that they've somehow entered a bizarre forest of strange trees, and weird creatures. Like they somehow entered an alien dimension of some kind, but that's sadly not the twist we go for in this one. But they soon run into a giant blue creature that's part bear and part gorilla. This is a beast. Suddenly, more beasts arrive as the kids try to run for it, only for Ginger to trip on a root. Pat also ends up missing. The beasts surround Ginger and Nat, when one of them suddenly says "Tag! You're it!" 

So, what's the deal? Two of the beasts, Fleg and Spork, tell the kids about the game they play called "Beast From The East". See, beasts don't just eat their pray, they like to be sporting with them. They play a game of tag and if their victims don't win by sundown, they get eaten by the beasts. They must tag another beast in order to not be it anymore and win. But, of course there are rules. A ton of rules. But the ones we know for now is that you can only tag from the east, you have to be at least three feet tall to play, and you have to avoid "Free Lunch Squares" where the beasts are free to eat you anyway. 

Ginger and Nat, with no alternative, agree to the game and run off, with the beasts following behind them. They try to climb vines, which are actually snakes, which gives them 20 points. And no, those points really don't matter. They get saved by Fleg, who tells them that they had a perfect chance to tag him from the east before he runs off. The pair end up on a "Free Lunch" square and climb a tree to attempt to sneak tag beasts. But the trees in this forest are alive and grab the kids. But trees are also ticklish, I guess, so tickling saves them. 

They see some beasts and sneak behind a rock, only for that rock to explode. That was a "penalty rock", so the beasts grab Nat, while Ginger gets 50 points for sap on her hand. The beasts put Nat in a cage and tell him he can be free if he eats a tarantula. Ginger tags Fleg, but the game was paused so it doesn't count. And yes, this does feel like the rules are made up and the points don't matter so far. So, now only Ginger is left to complete the game, and still no sign of Pat. 

She tries to tag a beast, but falls into a hole, which conveniently is a "Free Lunch" square. But when she's pulled out, she's now "Made in the shade", meaning they can't eat her. Ginger tries to tag a baby beast, but it's not three feet tall, so it doesn't count either. Ginger tags Spork, but it came from the west. So, yes, the majority of this book is just "Ginger could win at any time, but the goal post keeps getting moved". I can easily see why this book isn't that well liked. Thankfully, despite being the makers of the game, the beasts are kind of dumb as Spork falls for a game of freeze tag that finally allows Ginger to make a tag. She thinks she's won, but Spork reminds her that she still has to play until sundown.

Ginger runs off and finally finds Pat, who hasn't been around for any of this so he thinks she's making things up. They see a weird squirrel-dog thing that leads them to a cave filled with bugs. But the bugs help them hide from the beasts. That is, until they get out of the cage and Spork tags her again. And the sun has set meaning game over. The beasts lead Ginger and Pat to be barbecued, but when they see Nat and Pat, they call it a "Classic Clone" maneuver and it must mean they're level three players which outrank these beasts. So, Ginger and the twins are home free.

TWIST ENDING

Ginger and the twins try to get back to their parents when another beast shows up. They tell the beast that they're level three players. Unfortunately, so is the beast who tags them. 

CONCLUSION

The Beast From the East is certainly a book. It's certainly a 118 page novella by Robert Lawrence Stine. I think what keeps the book from being too bad is how imaginative the world of the beasts is. From the unique creatures to the bizarre and vibrant plant life. Especially the beasts which are a really cool concept. The book's strength is making this feel like otherworldly, but lacks in having us understand just how this world exists. Has this area just never been discovered, or have the people who have seen it never made it out alive due to the beasts and the game? Is this another planet? Maybe not since Game Boy is mentioned in the beginning. So, just how does this world exist? I get it's not important to the story and you could move the events along without that point, but it does make the world itself feel a bit too alien.

 And of course, the game itself. People use the term Calvinball for the game, but with Calvinball, the rules get made up on the fly, where it's clear that this has always been how the beasts play this game. Though that doesn't mean it doesn't get confusing and a bit too convenient that the beasts can't lose so easily. It's definitely skewed so that it's near impossible for them to lose. And when that's the majority of the book, it makes for a slog of a read. Especially when Ginger is very bland a protagonist and Nat and Pat are just there, not being very likable in their own right. So, what you have is a book that feels on autopilot. One of Stine's "ride books" only more nonsensical than any before it. 

So it leaves us with kind of a mediocre book that doesn't fit its pieces together all that well. It definitely has an idea and feels more inspired by adding the game element, but never does it in a way that makes the book feel compelling. It's not the worst book ever and thankfully feels like a come down after how the last book left me feeling, but it also just feels like Stine trying, but failing in making a great book with a great idea. It's not one of the man's beast works.

STORYGG
SCARES: GG
TWIST: G.5
ENJOYMENT: GG.5
OVERALL: 2 Gs

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