A Case of the Bumps: Ranking of the Living Dummy (Updated September 2022)

I've finally done it. After the past few years of Goosebumps recaps and reviews, I've finally covered every single Living Dummy book that's been released... at least for now. 2022 will give us a new Slappy book, and I'll likely add it as an addendum by that time. But as of right now, the ones that were released have been dealt with, and to give Slappy a much needed vacation, I figured it's only right to rank EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT OF THE LIVING DUMMY BOOK. Rules are as follows: 

1. Book has to be a part of the Night of the Living Dummy series. That means they have to have officially counted as a mainline story involving living dummies, Slappy or not.
2. No books where Slappy makes a cameo. This includes his appearances in HorrorLand and narrations in any SlappyWorld book where Slappy isn't a major character in the story.
3. Despite being also about living puppets, Night of the Puppet People is also exempt.
4. Despite being the main villain, Screams in the Night is also exempt due to that being an adaptation of a stage show and not an original Goosebumps story.
5. And, obviously, the TV book for Night of the Living Dummy II as well as the movie books do not count either. 
6. This is all subjective. The rules are made up and the points don't matter, so don't take this too seriously.

Honestly, while several books weren't too hot for me, no Slappy book ever hit the super low marks, so while it could count as a "worst to best" countdown, this can more easily be considered as "weakest to strongest" instead. And with that out of the way, let's get counting.

#16: SLAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

Something had to take the bottom rung and unfortunately for SlappyWorld's first outing, it's this one. Not that it doesn't have some fun merits to it, particularly being the first book to give Slappy new superpowers like telekinesis. The problem however is that it feels like a safe book. Too safe. And as such, hit on all of the same old notes. Right down to a similar feeling twist where the other doll/dummy is now alive and is also more evil. It's the safest Slappy book, though not horrible. Just not dynamic enough for anything higher than the bottom.

#15: REVENGE OF THE LIVING DUMMY

Speaking of starting safe, we come to the first book in the revival era and a book that I feel is one of Stine's safest. Revenge of the Living Dummy feels closest to the tropes that surround a Dummy book. Kid has to deal with Slappy causing chaos, saying rude things, learning that Slappy wasn't alive, only to bring Slappy to life and battle him in a scant few pages. What really keeps this one from the bottom is the twist that Ethan somehow rigged Slappy like a robot and somehow is just as evil as the dummy given the horrid stuff he does to Britney. I mean, this kid not only messes with a picture of her dead dog, but intentionally shoves her down the stairs. I mean, it's Goosebumps and all, but if Britney died or got seriously injured, what was his end goal, blame Slappy? So for just the outright scumbaggery of Ethan, it keeps this one from the bottom.

#14: NIGHT OF THE LIVING DUMMY III

Night of the Living Dummy III feels like wasted potential. Like after two books, we're getting this big third chapter with even more dummies to worry about. But, what we get is more of the same old formula. In this case, Zane getting his cousins Trina and Dan in trouble by messing around with Slappy and Rocky. And, like some others, there's hardly any dummy action until the end, which again feels like it comes and goes so fast, you don't get a chance to really enjoy it. Which is a shame. There could have been a generally strong final act in the original 62, but what's left is another one where Stine doesn't put in that effort to make a classic. Just another filler. And for what becomes the most important series, that seems really weird to do in hindsight.

#13: SLAPPY NEW YEAR!

This is a book that R.L. Stine had on the back burner since the early 2000s. It was one of the three books we know about from his failed Goosebumps Gold plan. And, it definitely feels like one that he's had cooking for years. In both good and bad ways. Bad in that it again feels too close to the formula. Good in that it has a few decent moments, particularly involving Ray Gordon's battles with Slappy, particularly involving the garbage truck. However, the book feels like it rushes its ending and really lacks any big moments with the New Year's party. It's a fine enough palate cleanser, but nowhere near a solid main course.

#12: NIGHT OF THE LIVING DUMMY II

I know people who love this book, and even hoping my feelings would warm to it after the reread, but for me, this is the sterling example of the Slappy formula. It takes the key elements from the original and just gives us an abridged take on that. And not much really feels that fresh to differentiate Slappy from Mr. Wood. I guess that means its at least an easier book to breeze through, but ultimately just feels like nothing new. Hell, Stine tries this formula again in a similar manner three books later with Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes. I think the truest positive I have for the book is the more ambiguous ending on if Dennis the dummy really fought Slappy or not. Though the episode makes sure to get rid of that ambiguity tout suite. Seems fitting that the second book of the original 62 is a middle child in this ranking.

#11: MY FRIEND SLAPPY

I feel a little disappointed with My Friend Slappy. My hope when reading the synopsis was that the book would give us a more fun time building this bizarre friendship between Barton Suggs and Slappy. However, what we get is a bit more confusing. Was Slappy really out to be Barton's friend, or was how he handled Kelly and Travis and his eventual plans for Lizzie just his regular brand of evil? Part of me kind of wishes they didn't just make Slappy the main villain here. Maybe twist the story to make it that somehow Barton is more evil than Slappy, that even the dummy has no idea what to do when dealing with this kid. But with some fun moments and a plot that still works really well, it's a solid middle-of-the-road tale. Though again, the hell was up with that talking dog twist?

#10: I AM SLAPPY'S EVIL TWIN

What I love about I Am Slappy's Evil Twin: The focus on the history of the dummies and their creator, Franz Mahar. Even giving a shout out to Mr. Wood. What I also like: some fun plays on the formula. What I'm mixed on: the use of Snappy overall as he feels mostly like he's just there to nag Slappy over any of his evil plans. And the twist of the good dummy actually being the most evil one does feel too obvious. Hell, it's the title of the book. I think what keeps it from hitting the lower rungs of this list is its crazy conclusion involving the propane tank. Other than that, it's a fairly solid chapter in the life of Slappy.

#9: NIGHT OF THE LIVING DUMMY

The one that started it all. The cover that nobody will ever forget. And the story that doesn't really involve Slappy in any major way until the ending. The original Night of the Living Dummy is still a solid first outing. It does invent the tropes that would haunt the series, but other than that, it still does enough to feel creepy. I like things like the sibling rivalry between Lindy and Kris and how Lindy would mess with Kris by pretending Mr. Wood is alive. It makes for a first half that does work well until the revelation that none of this happened. And then Mr. Wood comes to life and causes his own brand of mayhem. Particularly by going full Exorcist and vomiting the pea soup. And it's a surprisingly violent book too with dog strangulation and everything. And its twist does give us Slappy as the new star, for better or for worse. In the end, while not perfect, the original still holds its own as a classic in the original series.

#8: SLAPPY IN DREAMLAND

Hype can be such a cruel mistress. Sometimes the hype for something can pay off spectacularly. Sometimes it disappoints horribly. And then there's the "just okay" category. Where it feels like it's not bad, but it's far from what you were hoping for. And that's the cruelest outcome you can get. Case in point, that's the apt description for Slappy in Dreamland. Far from a bad book with some really neat ideas, but lacking in enough great concepts to make it stand out. 

The idea of Slappy invading the dreams of Richard and Willow make for such a unique idea. And, like, Stine, nobody would blame you for just ripping off A Nightmare on Elm Street and we were going that route with the electrocution dream and the description of the bus nightmare, but everything just goes right back to status quo, same old same old from Slappy. Like, back to stuff like the paint and ruining stuff? That's what we got here? At least there are some good creepy scenes, a solid enough climax involving the zoo and the tigers, and the twist is solid. It's enough to counter balance the bad, but not enough to make it feel anything more than in the middle, which means the eighth place slot is apropos.

#7: THE GHOST OF SLAPPY

Coming in at seventh place is another book that feels very basic on paper, but executes things so much better. We get some dummy action early on with Slappy causing chaos. And then when Shep Mooney actually ends up with him, we do get a lot of the basic Slappy stuff. The insults, the slave talk, all the greatest hits. But what I like is the concept of Slappy's spirit being able to escape the body if it's destroyed, and the ability to still haunt Shep that way. And the twist with the other ghost in the house actually helping Slappy is a nice touch. A good ending to an otherwise solid experience. Or, not so solid, I guess?

#g: DIARY OF A DUMMY

I think what works for Diary of a Dummy is that, much like many of the later books, it doesn't really drag its feet too much. We get Slappy chaos super quick in the story. He causes chaos for the McGee family early on and most of the story then becomes about the mystery surrounding Slappy's diary and the gold he mentions. That gives us a solid side-twist where the gold is actually Slappy's sister Goldie, who is this all powerful dummy who can pretty much warp the fabric of reality.  And we get a finale that, while nowhere as bonkers as The Dummy Meets the Mummy is still memorable and fun. And the twist, while predictable, is still the most logical way to end it. Not as depressing an out as the book in fourth place, but still a good example of Slappy winning, much like Diary of a Dummy winning sixth place.

#5: SLAPPY, BEWARE!

Heavy is the wooden head that wears the crown. Slappy, Beware! had a lot on its shoulders. A special edition book. The supposed "true story of Slappy's creation." And being the spotlight work of the 30th Anniversary. And, despite some massive flaws, it succeeds. It's two and a half stories. The origin feeling fine, but also feeling like it just exists to give a reason for the ending of the book and the stakes Slappy must overcome. The meatier first full story is solid and a fun misdirect with the "return of Mr. Wood". The second story is the weaker one, but still fun regardless. To see Slappy constantly fail at every turn works in a comedy of errors way that you want to see unfold. It's just a shame it just ends. That the big climax of the tale feels less satisfying and more Stine in a corner and wanting out. But it's the least frustrating twist so it doesn't kill what is in the end a solid enough Slappy tale, still worthy of the top five.

#4: SON OF SLAPPY

Taking the fourth spot on our list is what I lovingly call "baby's first Manchurian Candidate". One of many nagging issues I've had with Slappy books is that the whole slave stuff never really has any value to it aside from Slappy or Mr. Wood's veiled threats. And this book finally gives us a look at a dummy slave with Jackson Stander, once a perfect kid that everyone loved, turned into menace, unable to control his actions. Controlled by his sister Rachel and Slappy. And, because of that, it may feel like the most depressing book of them all. Giving us an actual sad ending for the series as this is Jackson's life now. A punishment he really never deserved. Life ruined by the people who hated him most, again with no good reason. I mean, other than bragging about how good he is, that's hardly a crime deserving that level of punishment. For making me actually think and feel bad for a Goosebumps protagonist, this one is a top notch tale.

#3: BRIDE OF THE LIVING DUMMY

I have a soft spot in my heart for this book. Granted, it uses much of the general tropes, but uses them better than most. The addition of Jimmy O'James is a touch that really helps. As such, much of those tropes play out with the ventriloquist instead of the protagonist. I like Jillian as a protagonist and the weird turn this book takes when we involve the whole clown stuff, which adds for one of the more bizarre segues to any of these. It even feels a bit more violent than most with Slappy at one point smashing Jillian over the head and calling it a "love tap". Like, what the hell was that about, Stine? And Mary Ellen makes for a decent actual villain, the one who was really out to destroy Jillian, despite Slappy's creepy for all the wrong ways child bride interests. Maybe this is more my own experience coming out of it, but for being so bizarre in all the right places, it's one of my faves.

#2: THE DUMMY MEETS THE MUMMY!

I have read well over one hundred Goosebumps books. The most of any other book series and the one that I particularly love to cover, as evident with this blog. But I can say without hyperbole that no other book has left me with such a state of amused bewilderment than The Dummy Meets the Mummy. It's a book that does so many things right. It doesn't bother with any of the classic Slappy tropes. It's a book that is surprisingly violent and gory for Goosebumps, with a man's face being torn to shreds early on. And when we get to the titular meeting of Slappy and Arragotus, it lives up to that hype. I mean, I still cannot get over Slappy suddenly whipping out an optic blast like he's Scott Summers. Stine seemed intent on creating a book that's both fun and memorable and he more than overdelivered for one of my top tier books.

#1: SLAPPY'S NIGHTMARE

The pièce de résistance. My personal favorite Slappy book goes to the dummy's second outing in Series 2000. I think what makes it work, similar to Meets the Mummy is that it does something fresh with the premise. In this case, presenting Slappy as our protagonist for once. Put in a position where for the first time ever he has to be the good guy. Tasked with three good deeds from Jimmy O'James lest he be put to sleep forever, Slappy has to help a girl named Georgia Boonshoft, only to be constantly thwarted. While the big twist and reveal aren't too surprising, what is surprising is how well done this premise is. Feeling both strange and unique given Slappy's plight, and surprisingly violent, be it the wheelchair scene, or Slappy's thoughts of murdering Georgia's sister Stella. It's a fun book, a good reversal of the formula and my personal favorite Slappy book.

And that wraps up the countdown. Some obvious choices, some that people may not agree with, but overall, I feel a list that represents the quality of the dummy's many misadventures.