We return to Give Yourself Goosebumps and it's time to get messy with this trip to a wax museum. Now, if you know this blog well, we've had some interesting experiences with stories involving wax museums in the past. Namely with Shivers' Weirdo Waldo's Wax Museum. But, of course, it's a Shivers book, and I call it the Russian Roulette of GB-likes for a reason. So it's R.L. Stine's turn at the bat, and it's a GYG book, which could at least mean some fun bad endings. Is this a great trip or just a bunch of waxy buildup? Let's see with Welcome to the Wicked Wax Museum.
This is easily one of the best covers from GYG, and one of Mark Nagata's best. Mainly when it comes to our villain of the story, Sybil Wicked. Her design is very cool and freaky, very "goth awakening" I'd say. Though this isn't actually what she looks like in-book, but heck with it, it still works. The general design looks a lot like Vampira, which Nagata has since confirmed. But what makes it work is the melting wax, how it oozes over her, with it turning into a gross yellow slime. There's also the hidden skull that Mark liked to add, this time being easily spotted on her brooch. You get some other classic cover details like the warping, which I feel does work well, and of course some random lightning in the background. Even the statues and busts in the background look creepy. At least they would if most of them weren't obscured by word balloons. Honestly, they should have advertised the fan club on the back covers, these just take away from good art, which this is easily one of the best.
As is the case with these books, given that the protagonist is often presented as the reader and no specific gender is given, I'll be using They/Them and "The Player" when I talk about our protagonist. Cool? Let's wax nostalgic.
The player, along with their friends Liz and Jake, are excited. Their history class, run by the dull Mr. Dunning, is going to visit the Wicked Wax Museum a day before the opening. The museum is named as such because of its owner, Dr. Izzy Wicked (Is he wicked. Good wordplay, Bob). Mr. Dunning promises that the wax museum will bring history to life as the kids joke about maybe the wax figures will literally come to life. But the three act like jackasses on the bus, which forces Mr. Dunning to keep them from going with them on the tour and forcing them to stay in the lobby, which of course they don't do. They decide to take a tour of their own. Jake rushes to a red door, but gets trapped behind it. Suddenly more noises can be heard and Jake seems to disappear. And we get our branching path for our two good endings. Do we try to open the door to follow Jake or do we search for help?
PATH #01: FACTORY FOLLIES
The player and Liz enter the room and see a large conveyor belt. They also see Jake on a conveyor belt. There's also a shadowy figure that could be concerning. Follow Jake or check out who's in the shadows? The choice we're going for is following Jake and just ignoring what could likely be our inevitable death. The player tries to save Jake, but are unable to. Jake ends up in the steaming room as the player and Liz overhear two men talking about carrying Jake and putting him in a tube to ready him for Dr. Wicked's grand opening. Suddenly, Liz and the player are moved on the conveyor belt and knocked out with sleeping gas. They awaken to the sight of two men wearing doctor masks. The two put the kids in tubes, where the path requires either escaping or staying perfectly still. Staying still is our call.
The steaming room doesn't do much to the player or Liz and they manage to escape by bumping the locks. There's no sign of Jake, but he might be in the skin-scraping room, which means he's about to be skinned alive. The kids go back in their tubes, hoping they'll be able to follow Jake into the room, but their tubes veer into what appears to be a well-lit cave. They exit the tubes and sit in seats, where a bar falls over them and they move on what appears to be a tramcar ride. They see what looks to be the set of Frankenstein, only no doctor and no monster. Liz panics and tries to escape the tram, which gives us our first gimmick path of the book. And it all requires on what day you're reading this. If it's a weekday, go one way, if it's the weekend, the other way. Thankfully I'm covering this on a Thursday, so we're going down the right path. The tramcar takes the kids to the River of Wax Maze. Which is indeed a maze in the book. The object is to follow the right path and collect the letters which makes out a message from Dr. Wicked. The letters spell ONLY YOU CAN SAVE JAKE, which, I mean yeah no duh. Still better than "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine". Also the path info says that if you can't solve the maze to close the book and go take a shower. Now that's a contender for best "You stupid kid, do better" we've gotten so far.
So the player and Liz pass through the wax maze. They find themselves in the wax dipping lab as Dr. Wicked and his doctors are examining Jake, readying him for display. The kids yell, alerting Dr. Wicked and his goons. The kids think to climb up to the scaffold, but need to either climb the thin rope or the think fraying one. You know how these books work, it's the fraying one we pick. The kids climb the thick ropes and end up swinging into Dr. Wicked and his cohorts, knocking them into the wax and seemingly killing them, which I have to admit is a great, dark way for this book to wrap that up. The two free Jake and run into Mr. Dunning, who isn't thrilled that the kids ran out of the lobby. He wants to meet Dr. Wicked, but the kids say they've already met him.
So that's the extent of the big adventure if we followed Jake, but what if we searched for help instead?
PATH #02: A WICKED PATH
The player and Liz ask the lady at the ticket booth for help, but she's made of wax. They head outside to search for their bus driver, but a limo shows up with the driver, a man named Axel, telling the kids to come inside. The choice is to accept the offer or decline. The decline does lead to one of the funnier twists in the book, but for the good ending it's going inside that's the call. However, the car speeds off. The kids see Jake outside screaming that it's just a prank, bro. Axel's face is also starting to fall off, revealing his skull. He also faxed photos of the kids faces and she's ready to meet them. There's a phone in the car, but it only has three buttons. A button with a clock on it, a blank button, and a button with a laughing jester. Blank is our choice for the path, which causes a trapdoor to fall underneath the players, sending them into a small, windowless room. They have to escape, but should they choose the locked door or the chute?
The choice is the locked door. The kids enter a room covered in purple furniture, and on the walls are pictures of the player and Liz, with markings on certain parts of their faces. There's also a photo of a 14 year old Sybil Wicked, who was supposedly killed in a fire. This leaves the pair confused. Is Axel working for someone who died? There's also blueprints for a robot called the Face-Lifter, with robotic arms designed to tear and peel parts of a face. The kids then hear footsteps and have to choose between rushing out one of the doors in the room or going under the bed. It's choosing a door, which is a large closet. Now does the player stay still or explore the closet. The choice is to explore as Axel shows up, ready to catch the kids. They find a revolving door, which sends them into a dumpster that's riding a set of tracks. Well, at least it's not a time travelling closet. The choices are to stay in the dumpster or get out. Unless you're Oscar the Grouch, staying in trash isn't the right call to make.
Escaping the dumpster, the kids find themselves in a basement with Axel still chasing. They find themselves in a fancy kitchen with machines called the Peeler and the Deboner. Axel catches the kids, but ends up being caught in the Peeler. Do you help him or let him die? Well we're not total monsters, so the kids end up saving Axel from certain doom. While he won't help them escape, he gives them a mirror to use for later. He tells the kids that three years ago, Sybil Wicked, daughter of Dr. Izzy Wicked, was believed to have perished in a fire. However, she survived, but her face was badly damaged. She's since been experimenting on others, taking pieces of their face to make a new one for her. And now the player and Liz are her next targets. The kids split up with the player finding Sybil Wicked's lab. And inside is Sybil, whose face is all patched up with different pieces of human faces. Liz shows up and the player debates if they should let Liz see the face or not. For the sake of her sanity (and avoiding a bad ending) the player abstains.
The kids make a run for it and find themselves in a room filled with sleeping people in purple robes, all labeled with different numbers. All looking like Sybil. The people who Sybil used for her experiment. Do you wake them up or leave them be? Leaving them be is the call. Doesn't matter either way as the player makes a noise that wakes the Sybils. They corner the kids who have to choose between rushing through them or using a freaking blowtorch that just so happens to be in the vicinity. Thankfully this book kind of rules so yes, the player can use the blowtorch which melts the clones. However, Sybil Wicked and Axel still catch them and have them on a suction screen where they can't move as the face lifter is ready for use. The player manages to switch it off and both they and Liz escape, with Axel and Sybil being hit with the suction device. However, Sybil's body parts fall off and bugs start to creep around her remains. It turns out that Sybil wasn't Dr. Wicked's daughter, rather a living wax figure that he brought to life. The monster approaches the player, and the final path requires the mirror collected earlier. The player uses the mirror which causes Sybil to panic and melt. Liz shows up with a bunch of reporters who were here for a press conference for some reason, and caught her final moments on film. And I guess this doesn't count as murder, so consider it a win.
Twenty bad endings are upon us through this trip to the Wicked Wax Museum. There's also one that restarts the book which I don't count here. What ones stand out as the best and the worst? Wax on. Wax off.
#01: The player tries to escape, but the process of the steaming room shrinks them down to the size of a speck.
RATING: 2.5. Good use of the steam gimmick. Feels right out of a cartoon.
#02: The floor of the ride disappears and the player and Liz fall into a large vat of wax. They hear a voice saying that the now wax figures will be perfect as Frankenstein and the monster.
RATING: 3. Just dark enough of an ending. I guess if you're bound by the honor system and you read this over the weekend, you're screwed.
#03: The player and Liz grab the thin rope that raises them up to the wax figures where they're then dipped in wax in front of an enthusiastic audience.
RATING: 2. Pretty predictable that the supposedly good rope would be the screw-over.
#04: The kids get covered in the waxy remains of the Strangler, which hardens over them.
RATING: 2.5. Another decent one, but it needs more of a kick to really be memorable.
#05: Dr. Wicked's tornado twister turns the kids into wax candles that get placed atop a cake for the grand opening.
RATING: 4.5. Something very dark and hilarious about this one that just puts it at the top of the best of the book so far. The general idea that these candles are human beings and they're about to burn and melt is like legitimate nightmare fuel. Good stuff.
#06: Pulling the "Power Less" lever turns makes the kids powerless and puts them in the skin scraper.
RATING: 3. The idea of the skin scraper in general feels freaky enough to be a good ending.
#07: The player poses in front of the wax Strangler, pretending to be strangled, pondering if the strangler would choke them if he came to life. The Strangler does just that.
RATING: 2.5. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
#08: The player and Liz are locked in a closet with a recording of Mr. Dunning playing constantly. The kids end up bored to death.
RATING: 3. Might be the most absurd of the bunch to the point that it actually does work, playing off on the kids really hating on their dull teacher. Good stuff.
#09: The player gets grabbed by the wax figure of the Lord High Executioner from A Night in Terror Tower. Just as the executioner is about to drop his axe on the player, both the player and the executioner freeze. Dr. Wicked then shows up and says that this will make a great exhibit.
RATING: 3.5. Really good use of a Goosebumps reference and is just dark enough an ending. It also only occurs if you're right-handed, so unless you're southpaw, you're screwed.
#10: The player refuses to go in the limo, only to find Jake inside. He and Liz drive off. Mr. Dunning catches the player and they get in trouble. Other classmates call them a loser for not going in the limo.
RATING: 3. This is a fun one. Although is R.L. Stine saying it's better to ride in a limo with strangers than to not? I mean if you don't want to look like a total dorkus malorkus, then I guess?
#11: The player presses the clock button, but the voice on the other line says that at the tone their time will be up. The limo then goes over 100 MPH and flies off a cliff.
RATING: 3. Another good one, but if Axel is driving them to Sybil's then why fly off a cliff?
#12: The Jester button just gives a busy signal. Axel then starts laughing maniacally with his bony face. The player realizes the button has a skull face like Axel's.
RATING: 1.5. I get what's going on here, but it does just feel like the story just ends there. Too rushed to land, too abrupt to feel satisfying. I guess the joke's on me.
#13: The kids head under the bed, but get caught by a sliming monster under the bed.
RATING: 2.5. I liked this one. A lot of good detail on how slimy the monster is, and it's a good dark scenario.
#14: Staying in the dumpster is a bad call as a dump truck scoops the kids up and puts them in the crusher.
RATING: 2. It doesn't full mention the crusher, but I guess that's the case here. Otherwise it comes off as another "that's it?" ending.
#15: The player wakes up and can't move. They then see a skin rug. It's Liz! The player realizes they went into the Deboner and their bones were removed, leaving the two kids as nothing but skin rugs.
RATING: 10. HOLY FUCKING SHIT BOB! We have had some super dark endings before but I didn't think we'd go full-on Ed Gein. I find it hard to believe there's an ending darker than this one.
#16: Liz screams at the sight of Sybil's face and the two try to run, only for a trapdoor to send them falling face first. Their faces get injured, meaning Sybil can't use them for her new face, so she puts them in a giant hamster cage for a different experiment. The player is forced to run the giant wheel.
RATING: 2.5. Good and silly way to still screw over the player. Though why does she have a giant hamster cage and wheel?
#17: The player and Liz are caught by Axel and Sybil. The player wakes up and notices their eyes are ten feet apart, and other facial features are strewn about. Same with Liz's. The body parts were no good for the experiment, so they'll be used for something else.
RATING: 5. I think the skin rugs is still the darkest twist, but holy crap. This book, this path specifically, is nailing the nightmare fuel. Top marks well earned.
#18: Without the mirror, the player is caught by Sybil who takes their face.
RATING: 2.5. At least one of them had to have Sybil succeed in her plan.
#19: Liz turns on a light in the closet that shines off the mirrors and causes the kids to melt.
RATING: 3. Not the best of the melting twists, but still good.
#20: The kids try to escape via escalator, but it just takes them back up to Sybil and Axel.
RATING: 2. Silly but not amazing.
BEST ALTERNATE ENDING: NO SAVING YOUR SKIN
WORST ALTERNATE ENDING: SURELY YOU JEST
Well, this might just be the best Give Yourself Goosebumps book we've covered so far. Again, if you're going chronological and I say this about one of the earlier ones when I get to it, maybe that will change. But this easily had one of the best paths in the entire series that has what may easily be some of the most disturbing twists. What the hell was he on with the skin rug twist, holy shit. The first path is decent, but feels very short. Almost too short if you're going down the path to victory. But there lies some really good dark twists in that, with the best of the bunch being the birthday candle twists. Thankfully, while the book does do a lot of "you get turned into a wax figure" and "you fall into a wax vat" endings, they all feel just varied enough to feel unique. There's a definite sense of creativity in this one that makes for some of Stine's most inspired horror. Like we get endings here that make some of the darker moments in Fear Street look like child's play. We get kids being disembodied, skinned alive, deformed. Faces removed, body parts strewn about. I talk a big game about how Piano Lessons Can Be Murder is the most Ed Gein-ish book in the series but this tops the everlovin' hell out of that.
The second path is probably my favorite path in the entire series. A lot of good horror, some fun twists and turns, a freaking blowtorch gets used. And it gives me my favorite GYG villain in Sybil Wicked. An evil living wax figure who is also made of bugs. Like Oogie Boogie or? A madwoman of wax who also has plenty of evil devices to tear these kids apart. Like, Goosebumps rarely lands on memorable villains. There's the rare case of a Slappy or Dr. Brewer or The Masked Mutant, but you don't get ones who feel like true evil monsters. And that's easily Sybil. And it's thankfully not just her that makes for an amazing book. I feel like this more than any of the GYGs I've covered truly lands on the horror that people expect of Goosebumps. Giving me something that feels like if it were just a single narrative book it still would have been incredible. Good cover, good book, good horror, good lord. Every time I give the man flack he surprises me. Easiest recommend I've ever given bar none. Welcome to the Wicked Wax Museum gets an A+.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.