Back to Ghoul: The Adventures of the Bailey School Kids #04: Leprechauns Don't Play Basketball

"Next book's got a maybe leprechaun. Hopefully I don't wait until March next year to get to it."

Well, crap. Timing has gotten me once again. Blame not having an actual blogging schedule and going all by the seat of my pants. And yes, technically I was wrong as the next book in the line is Santa Claus Doesn't Mop Floors, but, being me, I just up and forgot. I promise it won't take until Christmas to get to it, I swear. But seein' as it be St. Patrick's day, what a better way to spend an ol' St. Paddy's than another trip back into the world of Debbie Dadey's "Maybe but probably not a monster" book series? I mean, maybe a lot of other things would be better but dammit, this is what I have planned. So let's read a story about a maybe, but probably not leprechaun as we assume that Leprechauns Don't Play Basketball.

Cover is decent, although I will say the kids on the cover seem less shocked by the hoop game of our maybe-leprechaun O'Grady, but increasingly more of a slack-jawed dulled. I guess four books in and their constant questioning of if some normal person's a monster might finally be getting tiresome. As for O'Grady, I like his design, but I feel like it looks very, I guess, Mickey Rooney-ish? Like if they tried for a live action version in the 90s that's who they would cast. Also, not ruling out an awakening character, but I'd probably say our least likeliest so far. But hey, if you want a supposed leprechaun as a basketball wunderkind, then this is the cover for you.

We open the book with Eddie being a piece of shit once again. It's St. Patrick's Day, which means that it's the wearin' of the green. And green-adorned Eddie is pinching everyone not wearing green, and even those who are, like Melody. He sneaks into the classroom, ready to pinch Carey, one of his classmates that's described as a teacher's pet, when Mrs. Jeepers puts the kibosh on that. He mentions that he's just playing leprechaun games, which bothers Mrs. Jeepers because where she comes from, Transylvania, leprechauns are considered worse than blood-sucking mosquitoes with their mischievous tricks. So, Mrs. Jeepers is racist to leprechauns. Well that's worth learning I guess. Undeterred, Eddie continues to be a nuisance in class, which also amounts to him almost cutting off Liza's ponytail. Methinks Eddie may be a sociopath. But his scissors are unable to shut, to which he notices Mrs. Jeepers touching her brooch, so even if she's not a vampire, she must have some magic powers.

The kids head to gym where they see the school coach, Coach Ellison, with a man half his size named Mr. O'Grady, who carries on his waist a strange looking sack. He's from Ireland and will be teaching the kids Irish folk dancing. the kids note his strange face and his height because ultimately these kids kinda suck. As Mr. O'Grady preps the kids for dancing, Melody falls over. Because in the midst of all this, Eddie tied her shoelaces together to make her fall over. Despite this, Mr. O'Grady isn't too mad at Eddie yet, which Eddie intends to change, because there hasn't been a teacher that Eddie hasn't tried to traumatize. As the other kids start dancing, Eddie takes this time to throw a bunch of basketballs in their direction, only for O'Grady to grab into his pouch and cause them to bounce back at Eddie. O'Grady tries to get Eddie to dance, and shows him the gems that fill the pouch, but Eddie thinks both are for girls and sissies because if it hasn't been established yet, Eddie is Bart Simpson minus the charm.

Mr. O'Grady mentions that he does enjoy some mischief himself, namely in Transylvania. And we learn that he at least knows Mrs. Jeepers, so you know, hold that for later in the book I guess. He then takes a basketball and zooms around the court, managing to send a ball into the hoop. Because hey may or may not be a leprechaun, but "Magic" O'Grady is a rather well renowned Irish baller. After gym, the kids talk about how Mrs. Jeepers doesn't care much for leprechauns and that Mr. O'Grady seems like one, on account of being Irish, short, has a bag of gemstones and is seemingly full of magic. His cereal preference is still up in the air. As they talk, Mrs. Jeepers overhears their leprechaun talk and is concerned that she's been found by Mr. O'Grady. That and she REALLY hates Ireland. 

Still stymied about what's going on with Mrs. Jeepers and her Leprechaunophobia, they go to meet with Howie's grandmother who is conveniently visiting and conveniently knows a thing or two about leprechauns. Centuries ago, leprechauns lived all over the world, ruled by the emperor leprechaun who was in possession of the stolen fairy stone. The vampires, tired of the rule of the leprechauns, sent in a spy to sneak into the emperor's castle and steal the fairy stone, which was actually the property of the vampires first. Since then the leprechauns were banished to the emerald isle and only allowed to escape for three days. Howie's grandmother also notes that the spy who tricked the emperor was the teacher of his children. So Howie puts it together that this must mean that Mrs. Jeepers was that vampire who stole the fairy stone, and that Mr. O'Grady must be the leprechaun emperor, returning to seek revenge and regain his stone, which is probably her brooch. Of course, Eddie thinks this is all bunk, and he can prove that Mr. O'Grady is no leprechaun by out-tricking the trickster.

At gym, Eddie's plan is to open a jar full of bees on the class, which, okay, extreme, but I'm more curious about how he got said jar full of bees. Mr. O'Grady rubs a stone from the pouch (I swear I'm not trying to make that sound lewd, but) and it causes the bees to exit through the nearby open window, but not before Eddie gets stung. After being chewed out by the principal for, you know, releasing a swarm of bees in class (Which if there were any allergic kids then Eddie would be extra screwed), Eddie says that he's undeterred and will definitely out-trick Mr. O'Grady the next time. I mean, I don't see how you out-do the bee jar, but sure. The next day is the third day, meaning that if Mr. O'Grady is a leprechaun and it's all true, then this will be his last chance to regain the fairy stone, but the kids are determined to make sure that doesn't happen. Not only that, but Mrs. Jeepers is jumpy and all out of it, clearly paranoid about something that may or may not be leprechaun related. 

Phys ed time occurs and Howie says that his grandmother told him that the only way to defeat a leprechaun is to stare at them without blinking. So, of course, it's Eddie who tries, but isn't able to keep O'Grady's attention as he's more interested in dancing. O'Grady grabs a jewel, but suddenly Mrs. Jeepers shows up and is spun around by O'Grady who sends her flying. Before he can snatch the brooch, the kids jump O'Grady and stare at him until he ultimately submits. Later that day, they see a rainbow and guess that means that O'Grady is gone back to the emerald isle. Sure enough, the next day, Mrs. Jeepers tells them that Mr. O'Grady made his leave for reasons that may or may not be leprechaun related.

This book's pretty good all told. And I think why it's good is that it's a book heavy on lore. Sprinkling in just enough history involving vampires, while making it just ambiguous enough if what's happening with Mrs. Jeepers and Mr. O'Grady is connected to the story of the leprechauns and vampires, or maybe there's just another reason why Mrs. Jeepers really hates the Irish that isn't supernaturally linked. That really is the strength of this book because otherwise if does feel like a redo of the first book, with Eddie being an annoyance that eventually has to be taken down a peg. And Eddie is at his worst throughout the story. From pinching to attempted haircuts, to, again, somehow having a jar of bees on him. Forget the mystery of if Jeepers is a vampire or O'Grady is a leprechaun. How in the hell did some third grader manage to get a jar full of bees without, presumably because he gets stung in the gym, being stung to death in My Girl-eque fashion?

The title of the book isn't a full-on misnomer. There is a scene with Mr. O'Grady playing basketball, but it's super brief. If you were hoping for more of that in the story, you'll be let down as he's here to do an Irish jig and rub his jewels. I swear I'm not trying to make that sound lewd. He's definitely not as intense as Mrs. Jeepers, or as creepy in ways beyond being a possible werewolf like Mr. Jenkins. But given that he seems to contain magic powers, or is just a really lucky son of a gun, he does at least feel like a threat. And could have very well been trying to reclaim the jewel from Mrs. Jenkins' brooch. But, being the series that it is, it's more up to interpretation. Right up to if he really left on a rainbow to the emerald isle or if a group of kids accosting him was enough for him to get out of town tout suite. As for the other characters, Eddie is again the main focus, with Howie being secondary. Mainly given more focus on account of his grandmother. Liza and Melody mostly exist in this one, Liza in particular.

So, overall, another solid book. Brisk, yet uses its short length quite well to keep for a fun little story about possible leprechauns, while doing some all important world building within Bailey School itself. The lack of really much leprechauns with hoop dreams is annoying, but doesn't deter from the overall book. I'm still finding myself enjoying this little series. Granted, at an age bracket that shouldn't, but for what these are, they're fun little quick books that at the very least don't feel like too much padding for the blog. So I guess for that reason alone, I should consider myself lucky. Happy St. Paddy's Day everyone! Leprechauns Don't Play Basketball gets an A-.