NNtG: Shivers #06: The Haunting House

Time to spin the wheel once more with another edition of the Russian Roulette of kids horror books, Shivers. Time to circle back to early Shivers this time with a book about a haunted house. Or, in this case a haunting house. A house for haunting. I mean it's no Dead House, but what really is? Now the question can be asked if we're getting a normal experience or something wild? I mean the next book after this is The Awful Apple Orchard and that's still the apex of fucked up endings, even for Shivers. Let's see what's in store for us with The Haunting House.

I like this cover, and in fairness it is an earlier book in the series, but I will say that when you look at the series as a whole, this cover feels very in line with most of the covers in the series. Big moon in the background over a starry sky, dead trees and ominous yellow light. There's even a skull on the cover because almost all of them have a skull on the cover. So judging it on the merits of the other covers it feels very straightforward and safe. On its own merit I still really like it. It sells the creepy vibes of the house which given what the book is about is kind of necessary. There's even some ominous crows and eerie eyes in the mailbox which I honestly love. So if it's your first Shivers cover it's great, if it's your twentieth, then it's nothing too unique but still good.

Caitlin's got some problems. Well, her annoying younger sister Lynne for one, who likes to pretend to be as smart as Caitlin and also likes to get her in trouble. But that's small potatoes compared to her family moving into this old house just outside of Detroit. An old two-story building with a dark basement and a roof missing shingles. Also dead looking trees that Caitlin imagines might be tree people that come to life and got rid of the people who once lived in the house. It's the most logical reasoning she can give for why this house has been abandoned for ten years. Lynne and Caitlin head to the backyard and Lynne disappears. Caitlin again thinks maybe it was tree people, but nah, Lynne just hid on her for a bit. I mean we're only like ten pages in of this 117 page book. 

Lynne is playing in a giant hole in the yard, also saying she'd prefer to live in the hole than some creepy old home. As Caitlin tries to pull her out of the hole, the large mound of dirt in the hole gives way and both girls are almost killed. Their parents show up and Caitlin gets blamed for it because Shivers Parents. After getting cleaned up, Caitlin looks around the house when she notices footprints. Giant footprints. The kind that would belong to some really big guy who could also be a really big murderer. She follows the footprints to the kitchen only find that they were just Lynne wearing slippers. Even Stine would call that misdirect weak. But suddenly Lynne gets her finger jammed in a kitchen drawer. She says that she didn't do it, it's as if the drawer had a mind of its own. Caitlin scoffs at the idea, but given she also still has bad vibes about the place she's not exactly denying the possibility.

Caitlin returns to her room and finds her door and window wide open. She blames Lynne, who says it wasn't her. Also the house is freezing cold and the thermostat is off. So Caitlin can only surmise that this must be the work of ghosts. This house is some kind of haunting house and they have to get out before they get killed or something. She shows Lynne a book called Ghosts, Goblins and Ghouls, The Real Story Behind House Hauntings. In the book it says that ghosts usually remain in the realm of the living if they haven't resolved whatever is keeping them there. I swear to god this better not be forgiving a genocidal racist again. But while they don't hurt the living, they use poltergeists to bring things to life to scare them. Lynne says that if the ghosts don't hurt the living, then what was up with the avalanche in the hole and her injured finger? 

As the girls ponder this, they hear a scream and a crash in the kitchen, which is their dad, who also got injured by the drawer, more specifically a knife in the drawer. You know, I'm surprised nobody has tried a horror story about a haunted drawer. Or maybe they did, I dunno. They try to tell their dad it could be ghosts, but he doesn't believe them because... well we established because Shivers parents, but also because he thinks they may have got that idea in their head from something on TV or those Shivers books. And I threw the book across the room. I still chuckled at it, and at least it wasn't a dig at, like, Goosebumps or something but oh that is just so silly. He leaves and has the girls pick up the silverware, however, just as soon as they get started, the silverware is suddenly packed into a box. Whatever's haunting this place wants them out, or the ghost just likes making and cleaning messes. Toss up at this point.

That night, their parents head out to a neighbor's house while Caitlin and Lynne are stuck at home with whatever is trying to kill them. They hear more creepy noises and head back to the kitchen. The door sticks on them before smacking Caitlin in the head. And before you can say "Well that's a concussion", the drawer shoots out again and almost hits them in the head. Just saying, horror story about a haunted drawer. Could work. Caitlin checks the ghost book again and comes to the realization that nobody is haunting the house. It's the house that's haunting them. Like a haunting house if you will. It attacks those that try to live inside of it. And unlike ghosts that try not to harm people, haunting houses can essentially go in for the kill without ghost impunity I guess. It locks the doors and windows and then just finishes its victims off. Though why it just let the parents leave is interesting. Maybe they were aware of it and were trying to kill off their annoying kids? 

The kids smash a window and try to escape through, but the widow rises, almost slitting Lynne's throat. So yeah, exiting out the window's not happening. They go to the basement to check for any tools they could use to break the door. However, they end up in a dark basement that is lacking in plant dads, but does have a support beam that's about to break in two. The girls make it back up and out the basement door as the beam collapses and the kitchen falls into the basement below. Then Lynne remembers that there's a convenient tunnel in her room that she can crawl through, but Caitlin can't because she's too big. However that turns out to be bad as Lynne gets covered in bugs and the hole begins to shrink around her. Lynne falls into another room in the ground floor. Caitlin finds her on the ground with blood coming out of her. But she's not dead, surprisingly. I guess this is the kind of haunting house that likes to constantly fuck around with its victims instead of going for the quick kill.

The girls try to enter any of the rooms in the house, but all the doors lock in front of them. Lynne thinks this is the end, but Caitlin begins to say that for all her complaining and claims of hating the house, she really never hated it. Her anger came from moving away and having to pretty much start her life anew in a new place. Suddenly, the doors open. The house wasn't trying to kill them because it was evil, but because it was getting its feelings hurt from the girls hating the house so much. Maybe that's why the house didn't try to kill the parents. Though my theory holds water. The parents return and see the damage from the kitchen, because I guess the house can't just auto-repair itself? They also believe the girls since there's really no other explanation as to what the hell could have happened. I mean it could easily be more explained that they bought a real crap shack, but I guess maybe we don't piss off a moody house.

Safe chamber Shivers graces us once again. But don't read into that as the book being bad because I honestly liked this one a lot. A bit slow to start, but once the horror with the house ramps up it always feels exciting. Granted, the whole tunnel thing does feel like filler to get us to 117 pages, but even that works in terms of a scary situation with Lynne dealing with bugs and the hole getting smaller. So even the filler stuff doesn't take away from one of the more harrowing second halves we've dealt with in a while. Though, even before the resolution to the house conflict, I was already feeling like this felt familiar. Not Dead House, since that is a far different story. But rather It Came From Beneath the Sink! Both feature families moving into a new home where they almost end up killed by a cursed object that is defeated by love. Only instead of a monster sponge it's a monster house. Though I will say that, even though the Grool can feel like a threat given the curse and all, it still feels small potatoes compared to house that kills you from within, so Shivers wins points on that.

Caitlin and Lynne work well as protagonists. Both start as annoying siblings who are at each other's throats, but soon work together quite well to deal with their situation. However, Lynne mostly just whines and cries over things while Caitlin does more to try to understand the situation they're in. The parents are superfluous clay I guess, mainly their mom, who got off easy when you think of it. Not an injury to her name. The house as a villain is a neat concept. I don't think it's wholly original. Hell, The Simpsons did it in their first Treehouse of Horror segment ever. And of course killer house would be more famously done with Monster House, but this take is fine. Even its motivation makes sense. I mean, does anyone want people around them telling them how much they suck every single day? I could see why this house would just come to life and commit murder. 

So once again I'm left kind of impressed by a Shivers book. It's quick, moves at the right pace and has some great moments of horror and action. It's not the most original idea ever but still does enough to feel like its own fresh take. So an easy recommend. Still been a while since we got batshit crazy Shivers, but when I get books I finish feeling happy about and not having to deal with, again, forgiving a genocidal murderer, then that's as easy a win as I could ask for I guess. The Haunting House gets an A-.