A Case of the Bumps: The Importance of Bee-Ing Gary

It's springtime once again. Birds are chirping. Bees are trying to have sex with them. As is my understanding. But the bees will be buzzing back once again. Which led me where these things always lead me, and that's a hackneyed excuse to write up a side-article about a Goosebumps book. And what better book than the one that I honestly believe is the most bizarre (Bee-zarre?) Goosebumps book of them all. #17: Why I'm Afraid of Bees. A book so out of Stine's wheelhouse that it in turn becomes this unique little addition to the series. And given I'm tired of Crazy Stine's Puberty Allegory Emporium, going back to something as unique as this book seems like it'll be pretty fun. So, let's check out all the buzz on this book again as we open up another case of the bumps.

#1. THE PLOT

Gary Lutz is a loser. Nobody likes him. The other kids bully him, his family mocks him. Gary is in desperate need of a change in his life. That's when he learns of Person-To-Person Vacations, a company that has the ability to create mind-swapping vacations where two people can switch bodies for a period of time. Gary eventually goes along with it and learns he'll be swapping with a boy named Dirk Davis. However, in a bizarre twist of events, an arrant honeybee gets in the way of the body swap. Dirk ends up in Gary's body, but the bee is in Dirk's body, leaving Gary stuck in the body of a bee. So the story becomes Gary trying to survive this ordeal and trying to find a way to switch back before fall comes and he'll die. 

So, this story is The Fly. Make no bones about that. Stine is rarely subtle in his inspirations and none are more of a glowing sign of that then this one. Only, instead of his head grafted to a bee's body (unlike the cover), Gary is entirely in a bee's body, having to survive being inside a hive, the dangers of the now giant world, while also trying to communicate with Dirk. Which is why I say this book is so unique compared to practically any other Goosebumps book. It goes for a more fantastical plot always more focused on the peril that Gary's in and his desperation to change back. It's got it share of plot holes, which we'll talk about a little later, but it might be the most complete Goosebumps story, especially of the original series, as there is very little wheel spinning save for the issues we'll get into later but still do little to keep it from going all over the place like Bob usually does.. So yeah, high marks there.

#2. GARY GARY QUITE CONTRARY

Gary Lutz is interesting. By all accounts, he's a good kid, just often dealt bad hands. "Lutz the  Klutz" is his nickname on account of being so aloof and clumsy. He's also a weakling, unable to open a jar of peanut butter, which gets him mockery from his mother, which lord knows that's not good on the kid's psyche. If anyone's deserving of a change of scenery, it's Gary. But what's interesting is he doesn't immediately go for the idea of the mind swap. It's only when he's bullied again that he's had enough. Nothing can be as bad as the life he has now. This is a professional racket, what could go wrong? It's not like this is so sensitive that even a nearby bee could ruin... oh, right.

You feel bad for Gary already, but his perils as a bee make him more endearing. Surviving inside Mr. Andretti's hive, about to die because fall is coming, getting screwed over by Ms. Karmen, literally writing on the computer as a bee, which that's a tricky thing to do, all while Dirk, who can communicate with Gary, is also ready to screw him over. Gary can't win as boy or bee, and it makes him more sympathetic than pathetic. A kid that you do want to see overcome the odds, or literally die trying in t he case of the bee sting.. A rare Goosebumps underdog story that actually feels earned. Granted, at the expense of the bee, but if Gary can survive this ordeal, then sacrifices must be made, I guess.

I put Gary up there with the Billys and the Carly Beths of Goosebumps in terms of one of the best protagonists, if only because he feels sympathetic and manages to overcome everything by the end. I can compare him to Evan Ross, only Evan's problems remain in an endless hell loop thanks to Andy, Conan, Kermit and Monster Blood of all shapes and colors. Which is a shame that Evan never gets a happy ending of any kind. He's much in the same boat as Gary, but by the end of each Monster Blood sequel he just falls off the boat and almost drowns in the water. At least Gary brought his own life vest should that happen. 

#3. WHAT'S DIRK'S DEAL?

I'm very curious about Dirk Davis. By all accounts, he's pretty cool, collected and athletic. He seems to be able to get along with people really well, as exemplified by his time in Gary's body, turning him from Clodly to Godly. But the question really looms: Why didn't Dirk want to change back? We know the story is that he wanted Gary in his body to help with his grades, given that Gary is more brains over Dirk's brawn. But, if that was all, then why would he not help Gary out? What is it about being in Gary's body and away from his own that makes Dirk become the villain of the story? 

My theory has always been that there's something more under the surface and that's the possibility that Dirk's family life isn't that great. Not out and out saying abusive, but definitely something going on with his family that he simply can't handle and, much like Gary to be honest, he chose to run away from his problems. Or at least let his brains run away. I'm genuinely curious what Dirk's home life is. Because wouldn't his family wonder why their son is making buzzing noises, licking flowers and is having a panic attack like he's a bee in a boy's body? Could be a case of Dirk being a latchkey kid, his parents not being around that much. And when he switched with Gary, he gained more of a family. A mom and a dad he can talk to, a little sister in Mitzi. And a chance to make new friends. You can kind of see why Dirk wouldn't want to go back. Which, given what we learn later via Ms. Karmen, that's just a thing that can happen. 

Of course none of that excuses Dirk from screwing Gary over. What happens at the end with the swarm and the reset sting are all on him. But, Dirk ultimately bonds with Gary afterwards now that Gary is finally in a better place. That in turn the two become friends over one strange day. So it makes Dirk less the villain of the piece but someone stubborn in wanting his old life back until it's forced back upon him, yet still willing to admit fault and bond with the boy he almost let die inside the body of a bee. Look, there have been stranger ways to make friends is what I'm getting at. 

#4. THE INTRIGUING IMPLICATIONS OF PERSON-TO-PERSON VACATIONS

Person-To-Person Vacations honestly might be my favorite idea from any Goosebumps book. Namely in that it's both unique and so bizarre an idea that you can almost believe it's a real thing. That yes, somehow in 1994 technology to swap minds on a temporary basis was invented and is being used as a vacation company. And it's well known enough that it even has an ad on the super early internet days. Nowadays it would probably be a dark web thing, but nope. This incredible technology just available for anyone to use. Obviously there's a vetting process. You can't have someone switch bodies with a government official or an animal (maybe?) but you can switch bodies with another interested party. Here's the thing you were all waiting for me to mention so I'll say it again.

Person-To-Person would be perfect for trans people. That's never been ruled out either. Does it have to be the same gender? Can a male and female swap without it being an issue? If so, then the idea of being in another person's body with them in yours, and it's all consensual, would actually be really useful. Granted, it's still not your body, and your body runs the risk of whatever the other person plans to do with yours. But in terms of an experience, especially for those struggling with gender issues, it wouldn't be the worst brief alternative to transitioning. I'm not saying Stine said trans rights in 1994, but you gotta imagine between this and some of Todd Strasser's "Help! I'm Trapped in" series, this could have been an awakening book. 

But here's where things get bad because, as we see later on, there's one fatal flaw in Person-To-Person's business. If one of the parties doesn't want to return to the other body, nothing can be done. That is the ultimate risk of doing the mind swap. Which, you know, doesn't help Gary a lick. Though one could wonder if that's more Ms. Karmen covering her butt in case any litigation happened if it was found out that this body swapping racket caused a boy to be stuck in a bee's body and pretty much be left to die. That this body swap company didn't have a clause that required a certain time frame for body rental. No wonder Ms. Karmen bolted and left Gary to die. But it still makes doing the swap the ultimate dice roll. And for Gary, he almost rolled snake eyes.

#5. MR. EDUCATOR

Goosebumps and educational content are rarely together in one place, and more often than not, it's very mediocre. In the case of this book, Stine felt the need to play his favorite character next to "fictional animal killer", Mr. Educator. If you didn't know anything about bees, you will by the end of the book. Gary gets trapped briefly in Mr. Andretti's beehive, which gives Gary a chance to see the inner workings of a beehive. All while doing the least convincing "I'm a bee too. Really! Buzz buzz and whatever" act possible. We also learn that bees die in the fall and that a bee dies when they sting someone, which plays into the final act. So if Stine has to write about a kid in a bee body, he at least can sneak in a few lessons for the kids as well. Reminds me of the talk about the flora and fauna in Fever Swamp. I don't think every book needs to be a learning tool, but I do wish Stine did a bit more of that at times. This was probably his best at it though.

#6. BEE-FUDDLING PLOT HOLES

So there are ass-pulls aplenty in this book. Ones that don't make a lick of sense given the information we're given in the story. And that's Gary's communication skills and the sting reset. Let's talk about the sting first because honestly, I get it. Stine needs an out. He can't kill Gary, and he has Ms. Karmen bounce out of the book midway. So we need a way to create a reset option. Which gets me to thinking. That somehow by stinging Dirk in Gary's body, then dying, makes everything back to normal. I can actually appreciate that one as it's not a full case of Stine wheel spinning or hitting the dreaded wall. Or, in the case of this book's dream sequence, being bitten by a dragonfly mid-thought. This book is based around science fiction madness, I can allow this. 

It's the fact that Gary can communicate that bugs me. Gary is described to be in a full bee body, proboscis and all. He has no vocal chords of which to speak, yet can communicate with Ms. Karmen? I can get it with Dirk given the sort of psychic link from the mind swap, but this was the one plot hole I wish was a little better. Or even that a bee is strong enough to type on a keyboard. I guess they work for a reason not to have Ms. Karmen help Gary out, leaving him to die and whatnot, but I also wish we got more wacky bee adventures in a giant world compared to them. Though, again, science fiction madness and whatnot. More a nitpick than a real issue.  

#7. WAS THIS ENTIRELY A STINE IDEA?

So according to most sources, including Stine himself, around the time of One Day at HorrorLand, he began to hire outliners for his stories. He's never out and out admitted ghostwriting (though other spinoffs are chock full), but it's well known that Stine uses outlines for his work. Which makes me wonder if someone else came up with this idea? Because it's so out of the Jovial Bob formula that it almost feels like someone else's work. If it were Stine, more often than not the transformation is a slow process, the result of something happening early in the book that causes the transformation, Or is our old pal Mr. Puberty allegory.  Which given Stine's work lately would probably be the case somehow. That the twist is the Lutz family were all bee people or something. Sure, it sounds crazy, but the man's found a way to do it over and over again. Would you be that shocked?

I really wish that this was what Goosebumps did more of. Crazy science fiction misadventures. Set pieces that feel so out of the normal element yet Stine at least has an idea of what he wants out of it. We get it sometimes, Night of the Giant Everything being the best example, but really not enough. Granted, that requires effort from Stine himself and sometimes when he does show effort, he falters and we get stuff akin to "YOU FINISH THE STORY." Still, while I have no idea what his plans are for House of Shivers, a return to the more bonkers form would be great. Maybe he just needs a really good outline. And a modicum of giving a crap.

#8. FINAL THOUGHTS

Why I'm Afraid of Bees is an interesting book in both concept and execution. It feels so different from anything we've ever gotten from Goosebumps. A wild sci-fi horror story that, while the inspiration was obvious, still marches to the beat of its own drum, offering something more unique in the series. It has its flaws, but otherwise it does almost everything else just right. And offers what could be the greatest underdog character in Goosebumps. Or at least the one who can overcome the seemingly insurmountable odds. Whether this was all Stine's idea or an outline from another source, I so wish this level of madness was more the rule than the exception. Goosebumps is at its best when everything goes wild, and few get wilder than Why I'm Afraid of Bees.