The Stinal Countdown: Fear Street: The Boy Next Door

Time for another trip back to regular old Shadyside. Gotta admit, this one's another one that I'm not that interested in going in simply on account that it doesn't exactly seem like it's bucking any trends. Mysterious stalker boy? Mysterious murders? Creepy stuff? All part and parcel to most Fear Streets. But sometimes the ones I'm mid on actually end up decent, so who knows? Let's check in on The Boy Next Door.

This cover works for what it intends to do. Give us a creepy vibe with our titular boy next door spying on a girl in the window. It works in both an unsettling way and also an intentionally exploitive way, though thankfully not as blatant as in some other covers. Though the boy's positioning and how he's jerking his head does seem silly. Guess it works than just exposing himself as the creepy stalker he is, I guess? Overall, a fine cover. Interestingly, it's another one that has an alternate edition with the big advertisement for that contest where Stine wants you to write The Best Friend 2 which, for a guy who tries to claim he never used ghostwriters, is kind of telling on himself with this contest, huh?

We open with a prologue at a funeral of a girl named Dana Potter. A boy, our titular boy next door, laments on her death. How he invited her over for some night swimming, only to not inform her that pool was empty and that Dana would be diving head-first into the concrete bottom. But it wasn't his fault. He wasn't the one who killed her. I... I mean he did, but also, who the hell goes near a pool without checking if there's water first? Like even if she was shoved in, the onus of bungling this is also a little on her. No, she had to die because she was messing around with him. But he'll know better next time. Well, given this is a book by Robert Lawrence Stine, good odds that's not going to be the case, huh?

A year passes. We focus on Crystal Thomas and her best friend Lynne Palmer. They're starting as juniors at Shadyside High and Lynne is constantly bored with the boys she dates. Usually having one issue or another that keeps her hooked. Lynne and Crystal have known each other since third grade, not long after Crystal's dad died in a car accident. As she talks with Lynne over the phone, Crystal notices the family moving in next door, including a teenage boy that is described as looking like Keanu Reeves. As she gushes about how handsome he is, the boy suddenly notices Crystal from her window and approaches. Oh, and that's the boy from the prologue, which, I mean, title of the book and all. He and his family moved from a town called Harris to get away from everything and now he's already worried that things are going to happen all over again. I mean, you don't have to kill anyone, but this would be a boring book then, so get ready for deja vu.

Lynne arrives and talks with Crystal as they continue to talk about the titular boy next door, who we know is named Scott Collins. Crystal's sister Melinda shows up and we learn that Crystal dated Melinda's former boyfriend Todd, but given Melinda's meekness it wasn't that tough a feat. But now all three girls are interested in Scott, so now the question is more who ends up with him in the end in a way that I'm sure will TOTALLY not affect their friendships. Crystal then sees Scott outside smashing a gardening hoe on the ground in a concerning manner that would otherwise be enough to worry about this guy, but it's way too early to start that, I guess.

At school, Lynne talks with Scott and a fullback for the Tigers... Jake Roberts. I'm not sure if his nickname is "the snake" or not. Crystal finally talks with Scott as well. We also learn that both Scott and Crystal live on, where else, Fear Street. Also, Lynne's going to have a pre-winter pool party, with a pool that hasn't been drained yet, lest there be any non-pool water related skull-crackery. He opts out of it, while stabbing his lunch in a concerning manner. Then he looks to be about to stab Lynne before cheering for the Tigers. Which should be concerning for Crystal, but she just think she's misjudging him because, again, still very early for a boom to drop. 

No, Crystal is more concerned that Lynne is going to win this contest for Scott's affection. She complains about it to Melinda before realizing that's kind of screwed up since Melinda also has feelings for Scott. A sibling not being shitty to the other sibling and considering their feelings? ARE WE SURE THIS IS A STINE BOOK? Crystal then gets a call from Lynne saying that she's had no luck either getting through to Scott and that the only one Scott's been talking to is Jake. After the call, Crystal checks the mail, but sees that an American Family magazine for Michael Collins came in their mail. She deduces that it might be Scott's dad and the delivery might be her chance at an ice breaker. Meanwhile, Scott's been dreaming. About what? Oh, just about decapitating a dog with hedge clippers. Are we sure that's not R.L. Stine's dreams? Oh, and it wasn't a dream. He actually decapitated a dog. This is a Stine book alright.

Crystal arrives at Scott's only to be scared by Jake, who was already there hanging out with Scott. Scott still comes off shy and not as talkative while Jake notes that Scott's bedroom window goes right to Crystal's, if the need be to, you know, spy on her. As this gets more awkward, Lynne shows up trying to get with Scott, only for Jake to leave with her since he's into her, but isn't fully realizing he's the cuck of this story. They almost kiss before Crystal leaves. After that, Scott is in a panic, realizing what almost happened. He then looks at the magazine with all the happy families and sees the bad girls in it. He then punishes himself by stabbing himself in the hand with scissors. I get this is supposed to be a big "Look how crazy he is" thing, but, like, he already decapitated a dog. It's all downhill from here.

A few days pass and the foursome talk again. Scott's hand is bandaged, which he blames on grabbing a hot pizza? Okay. Crystal asks about Scott's past and if he had a girlfriend, but he just says he doesn't anymore and tries to move on. As they leave, Lynne goes back and tries to make out with Scott before leaving because, fuck this guy's actual concerns and mental state, this is still a contest. After Lynne leaves, Scott is repulsed and angry, scrubbing his mouth furiously while thinking about slitting her throat with a razor. He vows she'll pay for it. He heads to her house and drives to a secluded area with the plans to bash her skull in, but an old man shows up asking for directions. So the murder will have to wait a while.

A while later, Lynne tries to get a hold of Scott, but nothing. No response. She keeps calling the Collins house using a fake French accent but ultimately does get Scott. She invites him out, but he says he has to clean his room. Back to Scott's house where his mom is bothered by Lynne's pestering. She tells Scott that this won't do to have him involved with a girl like that because she doesn't know how to behave. Now angered that he's angered his parents, he envisions his spaghetti as Lynne's intestines and starts to fiercely stab at them. Later that night, Crystal is antsy and wants to hear from Lynne, but nothing. So she heads to Lynne's house and, just like at Scott's, she sneaks inside, only to scare herself from her own reflection because yes, this is a Stine book. She doesn't find Lynne, but finds a note to her parents apologizing for what she's about to do, that this is no way to behave. Crystal then heads to the garage and finds the car running and Lynne's body inside. I mean, it's a step up from bashing her skull in for Scott but damn.

We go to Lynne's funeral for another Scott monologue. He even says that's a perfect crime. They could just believe that it was a suicide and that he wouldn't be caught. And now maybe things will finally go right for him. Though now he's concerned about Crystal, as well as Crystal's sister Melinda. He thinks at least that this means he won't be tempted to kill again. Unless Crystal doesn't "behave". And given we're not even on page 100, you can guess the answer to that. Three weeks pass and Crystal hasn't been taking the death of Lynne well. She has a fight with Melinda briefly but they make up quickly in a way that again feels so un-Stine. Jake then calls, inviting her to a party that Scott will be at. She hesitates and hangs up, only for Scott to call her and say that he hopes that nothing bad happens to her like what happened to Lynne. Crystal is confused but, again, way too early to be concerned, but is happy to hear from Scott. Scott then calls Melinda and invites her to the party instead.

As Crystal gets Melinda dressed up in a hot outfit, Scott is at the party, disgusted by all of the lurid sex and stuff. When Melinda arrives, dressed sexily, he's so angered that he punches her in the jaw... in his dream. Not like the not-dream where he decapitated a dog earlier. But he did shove his fist through the screen door in a way that should ABSOLUTELY be concerning but, to repeat myself, 45 pages left in this book. But, despite the outfit, she is otherwise polite and the perfect girl. So no murder plans just yet. Melinda relays the story of the night to Crystal later. No kiss or nothing, but he did mention his previous girlfriend and the empty pool which should be concern-I'm just a broken record at this point. But she will be going to the movies with Scott the following weekend, which, for as good a sister as she's trying to be, this is making Crystal hella jealous.

Crystal does Melinda's makeup on the night of the date, which disgusts Scott at the sight of it, since everything disgusts this guy. You know all this prim proper tradwife shit. Scott's the most republican villain we've gotten in these books. He drives her to the movies, but not before undoing her seatbelt, throwing her out of the car, then saving her and saying that it was just a loose door. Since things are going well enough for him, he's at least willing to give her one more chance. And Crystal unintentionally makes things worse the next day by having Melinda act like someone who all the boys want. Which Crystal then notices Scott smashing his locker in a rage screaming "No way to behave". But he blames it on his combination instead. 

The next date night goes down and Crystal sends Melinda out to see Scott. But then she finally starts to suspect something is odd. Why would Scott yell "No way to behave" at his locker combination? Why would Lynne write "No way to behave" in her suicide note? But she hasn't put two and two together just yet. She just finds it a weird coincidence which, I guess so. I mean this isn't like Halloween Night II where I'm going to be mad about a key piece of evidence being ignored. Back to Scott's monologue as he's driving Melinda in the pouting rain. He's livid at what she's become and pulls over, pulling out his knife, ready to kill her before Melinda asks to go home, realizing this is bothering him, given it's all Crystal's clothes and everything. So now Scott's target is changed. It's Crystal who has to pay.

Melinda returns home and is mad at Crystal for changing her up like she did and how it ruined the date. How Scott mentioned that this was no way to behave, which finally the oil lamp that is Crystal's brain finally gets a spark. She tries to tell Crystal that Scott may have been involved in both the deaths of Lynne and his other girlfriend, but she doesn't believe her because god dammit Stine, this was like a good sibling relationship for fucking once and it hydroplanes at the end like always. But don't worry, we move immediately with Scott showing up, knife in hand, ready to stab Crystal. But Melinda tricks Scott in time by saying that he's about to stab Melinda instead. Saves Crystal momentarily, but Scott now goes after her. Crystal manages to smash a vase over Scott's head. They try to call the cops, but the line's dead due to the convenient storm. So instead they head up to the attic to hide. Scott recovers and follows them up... only to fall through a hole in the attic. He isn't dead though and tries to attack them, but passes out with blood pouring out of his mouth.

A few months pass after the Scott incident and Crystal and Melinda are still pretty close. That is until they see another family moving into the house next door with a new boy, which they both pine over.

This one is interesting to say the least. Formulaic as most Fear Street books usually are, but I do find it has one of the more unique villains we've had in these books. We've had villainous boys spurned by their hatred of women in the past, but Scott's is the most interesting of them all. Hating any woman that isn't prim, proper, or the vision of the 1950s housewife mentality. That impurity of any form is evil. And it's not just his mindset and his alone. We know his mother acts the same way. That there is only one way for a girl to behave, and if they go off that path, they're the evil ones. When I said he wanted Tradwife shit I meant it because that's definitely checking out. So what we get is the ultra conservative villain. A censor among all censors, feeling himself almost as an angel of death who must destroy the impure women. A villain with layers in a Stine book is always strange to me.

I also like how the book is structured. First with the contest stuff which you'd think would be the whole book but Lynne gets offed halfway through. So now it becomes a sort of My Fair Lady-ish plot with Crystal turning Melinda into more like her which she thinks is a good thing only it's fueling the maniac more. As such it does feel like we pad a lot more by the end of it with each date and each failed attempt at murdering Melinda. Gotta make it to 147 in the most plodding way possible, but it's been done much worse by Stine, so not as much of a demerit this time. Though good lord that twist stunk, feeling like we needed an extremely un-needed beat. If they saw the boy and both went "nah", then at least it would be worth it. And I guess if they weren't enthused by the idea of the boy, then Scott would have gotten what he wanted? I dunno. I just know it was a smelly end.

Crystal is an okay protagonist, but perhaps the least important protagonist we've had. She's the one in the backseat the whole time. Both with Lynne and later Melinda, who is dressed up essentially to be an avatar of Crystal to get with Scott like some weird, jealous puppet master. Melinda is fine, though her boy craziness at the end knocks her down a slight peg. Lynne exists to die while Jake is Superfluous Clay. He stops mattering shortly after Lynne's death. And Scott is, like I said, an interesting villain. The ultimate conservative hypocrite. Believing in the proper, wholesome lifestyle while also reveling in the thought of murdering those he finds impure... and a dog too. He did cut that dog's head off. Scares are mostly minimal, mostly more with him thinking of what to do to his victims throughout. 

 

In the end, this was one of the better Fear Street books I've read in a bit. Predictable and by the numbers for the most part, but saves it with an interesting enough villain. Not wholly original, First Date did the same thing, but Will's motivations are far different in that book to Scott's in this one, so it's not a complete copypasta. Though replace snapping kitten necks to dog decapitations and it's also kind of the same? I'd say this one's worth a recommend at the very least. The Boy Next Door gets a B+. 

IT WAS ACCEPTABLE IN THE 90s: Keanu Reeves, Demi Moore Movies, "The New Jim Carrey Movie", CDs, MTV, CD Players.