The Ten Worst Books I've Read in 2022

2022 was a good year for the blog. While not as busy as 2021 was, it was still a year chock full of books read and talked about. As we reach ever closer to 400 blogs made here, the pile got added with a lot more books, many good, many bad, many meh. But with the year reaching its conclusion, it's time to look back and reopen old wounds. It's the worst of 2022 list of books I read for the blog. This year was a massive mixed bag of content, with some of the worst books I've read yet added to the smoldering pile. But what ten really stuck out at the top stinkers? Let's talk about them in no particular order.

#01: THE BABYSITTER III

In the Simpsons episode "Homer's Enemy", the B-plot involves Bart buying an abandoned factory and leaving Milhouse as night watchman only to return the next day and the building collapsed. Milhouse telling Bart that "first it started falling over, then it fell over." If I could describe The Babysitter III in any quick way, that's probably it because I don't think there has ever been a book I've read for this blog that was already collapsing and full on turned to rubble with its twist ending as badly as this book. And if it was just a bad twist, that's hardly the issue. Stine's shit the bed on twists a lot. But this one may be his worst twist and his most insulting. 

For the uninitiated, the Babysitter books focus on Jenny Jeffers, who in the first book was almost killed by a man named Mr. Hagen who killed babysitters after negligence caused his youngest daughter to die. In his attempt to kill her, he ends up falling down a quarry to his death. The second and third book then focus on Jenny's trauma, both her near death and a fear that somehow Mr. Hagen is still alive, threatening her from beyond the grave. And in the second book these "hauntings" don't affect the story in any jeopardizing way. In the third book however, Stine just decided to say "fuck Jenny's mental health" and made the twist that Jenny had a split personality with the other personality being a manifestation of Mr. Hagen. Now making threats to her cousin Debra AS Mr. Hagen. Literally turning the victim of trauma into the villain of the story and the one who gets carted off to an institution while we're supposed to be happy... I guess? 

I still rack my brain trying to grasp what Stine was thinking when he decided to make this the twist. Why he thought to take a sympathetic character with actual mental trauma and make her the antagonist. It feels super exploitive and feels more insulting to people who suffer from trauma. It's like he wrote himself into a corner, feeling that if Mr. Hagen was actually alive or a zombie that it would be too out there. And even though the book gives us a far more obvious villain that could work given certain circumstances, he just thought that making Jenny the villain would be a better swerve? Nah Bob. It didn't work at all. And I think he realized that because there's another book, with Jenny as the focus that actually does have supernatural elements. So even his attempt at a make good just shines a bigger light on why this twist was a complete mess. Easily one of the absolute worst moments I've encountered in any of the books I've read for this blog.

#02: HAUNTING WITH THE STARS

SlappyWorld's offerings in 2022 were mostly okay. Two decent at best Slappy books bookended the year. And then there's the lump in the middle that was Haunting With the Stars. A book with a lot of great ideas, but no cohesive thru-line to make them work. Stuff like Murphy's knowledge of space not really mattering. The alien planet being cool to see but confusing to consider. And Hoofer the Horrible, who should be an interesting villain, but is written so chaotic that it adds to the feeling of Stine throwing idea after idea to the story and none of them ever landing. Just Murphy, Cleo and Orly being threatened by one thing, only for it to not happen and move on to being threatened again by something else, only for that to not happen. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Compared to some other books this year, this one didn't make me angry. It did something almost as damning though, it made me bored. All the twists and turns and lack of cohesion just made it feel like a slog. Stine hitting a wall, turning around and hitting another wall. Any and all potential just not mattering. Hell, the title's pun doesn't matter. Aside from the aliens dancing as they walk and a title drop, it reeks of a book title that Stine really liked and tried to make a book out of, then was screwed out of backing out, so he just plowed through and hoped people wouldn't notice. Well, I noticed. SlappyWorld's books in the tens have been such a weird hodgepodge of quality, but so far, this is definitely the lowest point.

#03: THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING KID!

A neat cover does not make a good book. An interesting premise does not make a good book. I can't say my first foray into The Weird Zone was the worst thing ever, but felt the most "existent" book I've read all year. I think reading this not that long after I read Shrinkman really sealed this book's fate. Some neat ideas, but the book goes so fast forward due to having so little time that whatever the book was trying for just doesn't land. Which is such a damn shame as shrinking stories, when done correctly, can offer some of the most unique scenarios in any kind of story. Sadly here, it feels like it stops before it starts. So, while not as infuriating as some others on this list, and to simply not just make this a "Dogpile on R.L. Stine" list, this one enters my least favorite of the year.

#04: I SAW YOU THAT NIGHT!

Is this the worst of the worst books I've ever read? Eh, not really. Am I adding it almost entirely on the basis of the random as fuck R-slur? You'd better believe it. Though, even with that, this was still a super mediocre book. Many of Stine's more notably bland tropes in one book. To the point that I knew what was coming the second they introduced the turtle. So it's more of a case of not being the worst book if you're new to Stine's stuff, but if it's your fiftieth book, you're gonna end up rolling your eyes at it a little. It is the flop sweat of Stine books.

#05: WHO KILLED THE HOMECOMING QUEEN?

My Fear Street reads this year were far less frustrating than in 2021.  Nothing fell to Silent Night level. But if there's a low point for me this year, it'd probably be Who Killed the Homecoming Queen? A cool concept on paper bogged by Stine making too much too obvious and the killer's motivations being actually justified... I think? Of course the homecoming queen isn't dead because we establish Tania's low blood sugar early on. So we have to bounce around trying to find Tania for a while, with Eva as the lead, using her psychic powers that kind of matter, kind of don't? And because we need a murder in these books, we actually kill another character named Keith, but the reasoning is actually kind of fair? 

The twist that Cherise was being pranked on video the whole time kind of makes for one of Stine's lamest wall hits. After that moment, yeah, she's kind of justified in killing him. All to end on a running gag where the video camera keeps getting jammed. This screams of Stine having other ideas but he either didn't know how to make them work, or swerved into some even worse ideas, proving the man's intuition isn't that solid at times. And even the swerving wouldn't be that bad if almost half of the damn book wasn't padded with Eva not telling Tania she's being cheated on. Going from "good friend" to semi-gaslighting her. Not the worst story ever, but still a bad book nonetheless. But we still have one more Fear Street to add to this list.

#06: RETURN TO GHOST CAMP

I love the original Ghost Camp. One of my favorites and one I feel is woefully overlooked. So knowing a sequel existed, even before I came to the realization that Stine almost always sucks at sequels, I had very low expectations. And, while the book didn't fully reach those low bars, it ultimately becomes a book that really shouldn't have had the Ghost Camp branding. Yes, there's a ghost. Yes, there's a camp. But neither really connect to the original to make it feel like it matters. We're not even returning to the same Ghost Camp, so Stine's a stinking liar. 

The plot, which is fine enough, ultimately feels convoluted and forced. Like Stine couldn't find a reason for Dustin to try to run away from the camp and face the Snatcher, so he adds this "changing identities" thing with Ari, which gets annoying to deal with pretty quick. There are some neat attempts to scare Dustin and the confrontation with the Snatcher is neat, but my god the twist is stinky even for Stine. Perhaps the most "Aight I'mma head out" twist of them all. Not the worst Goosebumps book, certainly not the worst Series 2000 book but yeah. Chalk another one up for bad Stine sequels. Story of this countdown so far, huh? 

#07: ALL-NIGHT PARTY

Like I said in the blog for it, I don't think this book is THAT bad. But to deny that it's still frustrating enough to be considered one of the worst I've read would still be disingenuous because good lord this book is a mess. A poorly executed mystery involving dumb teens, a murder, an attempted swerve only for that swerve to not matter because the one they suspected for half the book ends up being the killer anyway. Like I said in the blog, I feel that something is just off about Patrick ultimately being the one who killed Cindy. That his motivations felt kind of lame by comparison to what they could have been. Like Stine almost wanted to go with something darker, but couldn't so in comes the flimsy "fire in Waynesbridge" excuse. 

So what you get is a very annoying book with unlikable characters constantly playing idiot ball for 147 pages. And that does get very annoying. But what keeps it from being like top of the heap dog shit is that hell, that all feels believable. That this is how a bunch of dumb teens would act with one of their friends dead and suspicions of a serial killer on the loose on an island they can't escape from. So, props for Stine for that, I guess? Still, this one felt like the most sluggish Fear Street I've read in quite some time and for that alone it's deserving of being in the 2022 worst list.

#08: LIAR LIAR

As I continue to go deeper into The Nightmare Room, I've yet to find that one good book. Though most have been decent at best, the one outlier for me (Or outlier lier) is Liar Liar. A book that feels like it's lacking something to make even passable. And I think that problem is the parallel world concept. It's a neat idea, but feels like it doesn't quite fit with the whole compulsive liar character that Ross is given. Honestly, the plot would have worked better if it became more of a boy who cried wolf situation where now all of Ross' lies come to life, giving some meat to what could be a decently done morality tale. But nah. Plot about a parallel universe with a protagonist who isn't meant to be from it, who also can corrode anything he touches as he's that toxic. All with it being a world where people are aware enough about alternate dimensions. 

Neat stuff, but like many a Stine work, executed rather poorly. Feeling more like a reason to have shocking moments instead of moments where the shock value is also substantial. Classic Stine mediocrity at its most prevalent. Since I don't hate it as much as others on this list, I'm not as angry about it, but felt that it still meets the criteria for my least favorite book I've read in 2022.

#09: BEACH HOUSE

So... this book happened. Granted, I don't think it's the worst of the worst. It's again another Stine book with a concept that's shoddily handled. In this case the big secret about the beach house and the villain of the book, Buddy. See, it was a magic beach house the whole time. A beach house with a time travelling closet that can link between 1956 and 1992. Not that that's a bad idea but rather that it feels like it was something Stine glommed on to and any other lingering threads in the book went by the wayside. We don't even get an answer as to what happened to Lucy and Kip aside from they entered the closet and I guess ended up in some other time period. Adding a final twist with them as old folks would have been a great ending that Stine should have done. Would have at least made this one work so much better. But alas, this is to Point what The Barking Ghost was to Goosebumps. Stine has a bunch of cool ideas, he can't make them work, so he literally throws everything into a closet. 

#10: HALLOWEEN NIGHT II

You know a book is bad when my conclusion for it is almost longer than the story recap. You know a book is REALLY bad when it makes me reconsider Reva Dalby as the worst protagonist. You know a book is THE GODDAMN WORST when it's a Stine sequel to a book that had no reason to ever necessitate a sequel. But good god almighty, if any book pissed me off the most this year, it was Halloween Night II. In honesty, both books could enter this list, but if only one has to be added, then logic dictates it's the literal worse one, which is the sequel. Brenda Morgan was a shitty protagonist in the first book and somehow even worse one year later. Still looking at Halley like the worst person ever when in actuality, Brenda's the worst of the two. Literally at one point she tries to hang Halley over the railing then says "it's just for our movie, why you so upset?"

Then there's just this general feeling of not really taking what happened to her the previous year as seriously as Brenda probably should given it's a rather traumatic experience caused by someone who was one of her friends. So, when the same threats happen again, she again doesn't think one of her friends could have done it. But, like I said, when she looks at the Jack-O'-Lantern on Angela's porch that looks like one of the threatening cards she got and doesn't think of it at all as a concern was where I straight up wanted to tap out of this one. Thankfully it was late enough in the book that I could press on I guess, just for a lame redo of the last book, and an even stupider end payoff to something set up early that felt like idiot ball to keep moving throughout the tale. 

I don't know if it's safe to consider it as such but I think Point sequels are Stine's worst sequels. At least ones that follow from the original book that is. I mean, Babysitter III is just above this. It just feels like the more exposed Stine than even in Goosebumps or Fear Street. That his sequels exist as a cash grab with low effort or a feeling of the quality doesn't matter so long as he got paid. That's what Halloween Night II feels for me. Silent Night III level bad. And if you are THAT bad, then you're easily the top of the heap of garbage that I've read in 2022.