It's time for another trip back to Shadyside. Getting to be quite the fan of this series. Almost admiring it. Though not in a very secret way. We have crazed stalkers in this book. So I'm already prepared for a bad mental health twist of some sort. Can Stine surprise me? Let's be pretty damn honest, likely no, but it's still time to learn about the Secret Admirer.
We open with a letter from someone who refers to themselves as "The Sun" talking about how they admire a girl named Selena, since her name means "The Moon". The Sun says that they always watch Selena perform and one day, the two will soon be alone. Okay, so I'm going to start this one off and say that we have a story about a performer named Selena who might be about to be killed by someone who claims to be their biggest fan. This book was published in March of 1996, almost an entire year after the death of pop star Selena by the head of her fan club, Yolanda Saldivar. So, you better believe that caught me off guard. Not sure if it was wholly intentional but come on. I doubt Stine's that subtle.
Well, for one thing, Selena Goodrich is just an actress, performing on stage with her other actors Alison Pearson and Jake Jacoby, who likes to call Selena "Moon". I swear to god, Bob, it's only page 3. The director, Mr. Riordan, tells the group that he's holding a party at his place and reminds them (AKA telling the reader) that the play they'll be working on is Romeo and Juliet. Selena is excited to do some Shakespeare and heads off, only to be bothered by a boy named Danny Morris who is also auditioning and is her ex, so that explains the awkwardness. Selena and her friend Katy Jensen, who works backstage including with the lighting (hmmm), talk for a bit and compliment each other on their work when Mr. Riordan brings up that the Romeo and Juliet play will be important as the Drama coach from Northwestern University is going to be in attendance and it just so happens that Northwestern is Selena's dream college.
After opening her locker, Selena spots a bouquet of flowers in her backpack. Dead flowers. So either Drama Club is longer than you'd think or someone's playing a sick prank. It comes with a note saying that her curtain call is coming and instead of a signature, the mystery person uses a sticker of a sun instead since they're really committed to the bit. Selena thinks it's gotta be Jake making a joke. Classic Zeke-err, Jake. Selena also asks Katy to audition for a role, despite Katy being self conscious about her weight. This clearly bothers Katy who also thinks things were better when Selena wasn't as famous. Then Selena makes a cheap shot at Katy being fat, though as a joke, see? All but a jape. In fact this just kind of keeps going with Katy mentioning how tight Selena's jeans are and Selena saying that maybe Katy could try to lose weight. Just a reminder that this book came out about four months before Say Cheese and Die—Again! so yeah. Stine. STAY IN YOUR LANE.
As they talk more at Selena's place, they hear a loud crash and find a knocked over ladder in the yard, with yet another sun sticker placed. Katy fears it's a stalker and that stalkers can be bad news, but Selena's not worried. I mean, whoever it is is just sending sun stickers. There's no possible way this could escalate. As Selena and Katy drive off to Mr. Riordan's party, they suspect it to be Danny given his feelings for Selena. And sure enough, a car starts to follow them and they can't shake it. When they arrive, sure enough, the driver is Danny who was following her like that as a joke. Just a real funny jape. That just keeps happening, huh? At the party, Mr. Riordan introduces Eddy Martin who is a second year at Waynesbridge who is coming in to intern and help set up for the play. So there's his alibi for if he's our stalker. He also knows Selena because he just happens to have seen all her plays. The two seem to hit it off before Eddy leaves.
Selena blames Jake for the dead flowers, but he says he didn't do it. Then Danny collapses, pretending to have been stabbed for another one of his classic japes. Real king of comedy this guy. Everyone is mad at Danny for his hilarious "I'm dying" joke, and even Eddy scoffs at the idea that he dated Selena, which is something he learned from some of the other kids and not by being a stalker or anything. Ha ha. Ha...Ha? As Selena is about to head home, Danny grabs her again, only to be stopped by Jake. Danny shoves Jake hard enough to send him crashing into the pavement head first. Both boys brawl as Selena and Katy leave. And it's that time of the book. Time for Selena to get a whispery phone call in the early morning with a voice saying they'll be together forever. And it doesn't help matters when Selena sees Danny writing a note on her locker, so she thinks it must be him, which I mean, given everything so far, wouldn't be the worst assumption. But knowing Fear Street, it's probably going to be exactly who I think it is.
Feeling that he's not as much of a threat as Danny, Selena tells Jake about the whole stalking situation and even Jake thinks it's Danny, and that maybe he can understand why since, like Danny, he knows what it's like to want something and not get it. The auditions start up with Selena and Allison competing for Juliet and Danny and Jake competing for Romeo. Eddy and Katy are there as well. As Selena practices, she hears a loud crash. She and the others find Allison crushed underneath a tipped over cabinet. She isn't dead, but she's out of the Juliet contest. After they move Allison, Selena notices that the cabinet has a sun sticker on it. So, we've definitely escalated from this stalker being a prankster.
That night, Selena gets a call from Danny who, despite sucking constant eggs, wants to be with her again. When she says no, he responds by saying she was better when she was fat. Stine. STAY IN YOUR LANE. She blames him for the stalking and the stickers, but he claims to be innocent. She then talks with Eddy and she does accept a date with him given that, despite seemingly having an encyclopedia about her life, at least he's not Danny. She then notices a package at the door. A decapitated rat. Wouldn't be Fear Street without some animal murder. The note says that Selena will be just like the rat if she doesn't quit the play and that the assailant attacked the wrong girl, but won't make the mistake next time.
Selena tells Katy about this who says that maybe she should quit the play. Not presenting the best poker face on that, but Selena ignores it on account of this still being her ticket to Northwestern. Could be her ticket to the mortuary but, you know, priorities. She then thinks the stalker is in the house, but it's just her mom. And instead of, you know, an actual situation where the parent would believe her (though it's Stine so probably the hell not), she claims that her problems are everything but her life being in jeopardy. Selena talks with Jake, who didn't get the Romeo part. She makes a comment about how Jake usually takes character roles, which angers him and says that she doesn't know him at all and, given his hatred of Danny, will make sure Danny doesn't keep the role. Like, it's becoming clear who the villain is, but this dude's not doing a good job at not looking like a maniac. Katy mentions later that it must be because his parents are splitting up.
At rehearsal, Selena works on her lines when a stage light begins to fall. Katy saves Selena in time, only for Katy's arm to be crushed. So Selena now is certain whoever the stalker is was screwing with the lights. As things calm down, Selena notices Eddy staring at her with an intense stare that screams "Oh, I'm probably the stalker." We follow with another note from The Sun saying that they were indeed there and were the one that dropped the light on her. But if Selena keeps with the play, it'll be her final curtain. Despite the weird stare, Selena and Eddy go on a date in Waynesbridge, where Eddy tries to impress her with his love of jazz and Wynton Marsalis. They arrive at the campus to eat at a restaurant named Sam's. I mean, it's probably good, but it's no Pete's Pizza. He mentions that he knows that Selena's dad died a while ago, and mentions that Mr. Riordan told him. Honest. What does he look like, a stalker? GET OUTTA HERE!
After Selena lets Eddy in on the whole sun sticker thing, they are about to leave, only to run into Danny and his date Susie who also lives in Waynesbridge. So now Selena's certain it's not Danny. As they leave into the parking lot, someone tries to run the pair down. What is this, the NXT parking lot? And there's my wrestling reference for the review! Eddy shoves Selena into harm's way, but later says that he was trying to push her out of the way of, you know, a speeding car. The next morning, another package for Selena. And this time, instead of a rat or dead flowers, it's poison ivy. Props to the stalker for being a bit more creative. Remember: leaves of three, let it be. Leaves of four, eat some more. But this is doubly worse as Selena's allergic to poison ivy, so now she's swelling up bad. At rehearsal, Jake and Katy both think that Selena should get out of the play since it's probably totally Danny.
Now realizing she isn't going to get answers sitting around, and also certain that Jake just thinks it's Danny due to the obvious beef, Selena decides to investigate the stage to find any clues. She finds Danny's locker and gets the damning evidence right in front of her. A box full of sun stickers. If it was red paint footprints I'd have said that Stine is ripping himself off bad, but sun stickers it is. Then she realizes "oh wait, Danny's locker is the one NEXT to this locker". This locker belongs to, pause for a shocker, Jake Jacoby! There's still a bit of book left, so I'm thinking this isn't exactly on the level, but it's more airtight than Danny.
She tells Katy about this and the two think that while Jake's a joker, he's not a "creepy stalker joker". And despite, clear evidence to the contrary, Selena thinks that maybe it's all just a joke. A big, hilarious, multiple cases of attempted murder joke. Oh is this ever some idiot ball, but we still have plenty of pages left. Gotta pad her out somehow. Selena gets a call from Jake to meet her at the school auditorium alone, which she accepts because she can totally handle Jake. Katy isn't joining her since conveniently, her mother has the car while the other's in the shop. What a coinkydink. Selena takes the bus and arrives to the auditorium, but no sign of Jake at first. That is until she mistakes him for a tipped over mannequin. Yep. Jake got shoved off the catwalk and is now dead. Why was he up on the catwalk? Who knows? But now Selena is confident that with Jake dead that means that the sun stalker stuff is finally over.
Some time after, Mr. Riordan tells the cast that despite what befell Jake and everything else so far, the show must go on. Life's not as important as a high school play. Clearly. But Selena's finally ready to quit the play, but doesn't get to tell Mr. Riordan at the moment since we're still a bit left in the book to do that. Oh and she gets another note that sure enough, the sun stalker wasn't Jake. She decides to stay in the play, if only to hopefully catch the stalker in the act. But, no such sign. She finds a note in her backpack however saying that the sun is going to kill someone else close to her. At first she thinks it means someone's dead now, but apparently the stalker intended for it to be found the next day so, spoiler alert, I guess?
Believing that Katy is the next victim, Selena heads back to the school to find her. She bumps into Eddy and runs off. Back at the auditorium, Selena hears muffled screams from the prop room that is above where the catwalk is. After heading up, she hears more screams in a cabinet and blood dripping out., She opens it, thinking it's Katy, but the victim is actually Danny. He's not dead, and says that Selena invited him back to the auditorium, despite her never doing that. And the stalker soon reveals themselves to be Katy. I mean, duh. That was my guess almost immediately as soon as she was introduced as being the production assistant, hence my hmmm. You tried Stine with a lot of herrings, but your ass still ain't Arthur Conan Doyle.
So, why is Katy the sun stalker? Well, it's because Katy and Selena used to be best friends. Inseparable. But the two started to drift as Selena became more of an actress. Also, this is because she's thinner than Katy. Stine. STAYINYOURFUCKINGLANE! When Selena mentioned wanting to leave town to go to college, it was Katy's last straw. So she sent the threats. She wrote the notes pretending to be some boy in love with her, even though, let's be honest, so was Katy for the most point, but 1996 book. After the exposition, Katy tries to attack Selena with a flashlight. In the scuffle, Selena falls over the catwalk, but recovers. Only to end up falling over again and holding the railing. I don't know why she's worried, she'll fall on all this padding.
Eddy comes to Selena's rescue and he even falls over the side. As Katy is about to knock him all the way off, Selena tackles Katy, sending them both falling, but not off the catwalk. They subdue Katy as Eddy mentions that he had a feeling that this was where she was heading and came to help in time. They kiss and say that the show is over, but this is only his act one. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA Danny's still bleeding to death.
This one was just okay. Structurally it's pretty much part and parcel with almost every Fear Street story. Mysterious stalker, tons of red herrings, the one Stine thinks will be the biggest surprise reveal is the most obvious. Sunrise. Sunset. And there's also a little too much idiot ball, padding and way too many attempts to turn this into "fatty's mad her skinny friend is leaving her" for my tastes. I really feel that didn't need to be added. Not that it can't work as a motivating factor, but feels so tacky, even for Stine, to do. What was with 1996 and Stine's thought that he could make comedic horror out of weight issues? I do like the idea of the mystery. The sun sticker calling card is at least unique enough to work. Though the attempted swerves and general feel of the story made me think of Phantom of the Auditorium, which was a better assembled mystery, even if that too had an obvious real villain.
Selena is a decent protagonist, though nothing overly unique. Aside from her interest in acting and wanting to end up in Northwestern, there's not much to her character wise. Katy is frustrating as the major villain because it does really feel like a scummy concept, especially once we put the weight issues into this. She makes the most sense out of everyone though. Jake and Danny both suck. Danny more so, but that doesn't make Jake any more likable either. He becomes too much of a herring to ever take seriously. Eddy mostly exists and his knowledge of Selena also borders on stalker behavior, but also in a way that it becomes way too obvious it's not him either. Also Allison exists to be crushed, so not entirely just a Superfluous Clay.
If this was your first Fear Street book, it would probably be fine as is. So formulaic that it could be a decent introductory book. But it being one from 1996 and so trope laden, it just makes this one kind of dull to sit through since you're just waiting for the obvious boom to drop. The horror feels like all the hits we've seen before, and the climax feels both rushed and overlong. Somehow not being a happy enough medium. And I also really wish that the play element mattered more. Like having the final confrontation happening during the play itself. Yeah, it would be ripping off Phantom, but hey, at least it rips off one of the better Goosebumps books, so there's that. Have everything go crazy by the end and still have Katy be defeated with the extra twist of the Northwestern director being impressed enough to give Selena a recommendation.
Being a book from 1996, so deep into Fear Street, I feel this book stands as an example of the bloom coming off the rose long ago. The best descriptor for this book would definitely be "quota book". Quality or effort be damned, just make quota. I don't think it's the worst book ever either, since while predictable, some of its elements are fine enough, so the ultra lightest recommend. Maybe give this one a read with some Wynton Marsalis in the background. Secret Admirer gets a C.
IT WAS ACCEPTABLE IN THE 90s: CDS, CASETTES
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