A Case of the Bumps: Black and White and Dread All Over

The year is 1947. Bell Valley opened its brand new middle school. It was meant to be a glorious occasion, but was marred by a bizarre tragedy. In the blink of an eye, or to be more precise, the snap of a camera, twenty-five students vanished without a trace. In 1997, fifty years after the disappearance it happened once again. And thus we were given the premise of one of the best Goosebumps books ever written. I once crowed about the awfulness of Revenge R Us for this section, so let's use this platform to raise a book that deserves it. And while it's definitely a beloved book in the original 62, I still don't feel enough respect is given to The Haunted School. So let's do just that. Let's see why this Goosebumps book is more than just shades of grey.

#1. THE MYSTERY 

The backbone of any good horror book is its mystery. It's what keeps you invested and want to see it through. And what we get for the first half or so of The Haunted School is a decent mystery. Tommy Frazer is new to Bell Valley Middle School. And he seems to hear voices in the walls. Other strange things seem to happen. And one student, Greta, seems to catch his eye as rather strange. Even weirder is when he finds the statues. Built to honor the memories of the twenty five children who vanished when Bell Valley Middle School opened. 

Stine's mystery building is a mixed bag on his best days. His biggest flaw is letting the shoe drop way too soon. And Stine actually does a good enough job on building the elements of the story. There's enough of a build before we discover what's really going on to at least keep a reader invested and thankfully, Stine doesn't pad things out for too long. Greta in particular is one of the better red herring characters in Goosebumps. Obviously, she's not involved in the mystery, but it makes the reveal of who really is involved a bit less obvious for once. And the big reveal actually becomes not just one of the more creative reveals but one of the darkest in the entire series. 

#2. GRAYWORLD AND ITS NIGHTMARISH IMPLICATIONS

Tommy and his friend Ben Jackson soon discover a mysterious elevator in the school. Once they enter, they soon find themselves in a strange place they don't recognize. Where everything is devoid of color. A world almost like it was frozen in an old photograph. But the more concerning thing is they're not alone. That in reality, this is where the class of 1947 have been the entire time. Flesh now a drab gray and still the same now as they were fifty years prior. That alone makes for one of the darker concepts for Goosebumps before you really begin to figure what this all really means. And when you do, you finally discover that holy crap, Bob Stine (or whoever outlined this since it's very possible) may have unintentionally created the darkest story in all of Goosebumps. 

You see, when I mentioned how the world is like a photograph, trapped in that timeline forever, I wasn't kidding. These kids have been trapped alone in this dimension for fifty years. Nobody else. Just them. Never aging either. Bodies forever stuck in the age they were when they disappeared. Fifty years of isolation, no color left in the world. And for most of those kids, it broke them. Broke them to the point that they have lost almost their entire humanity. Often engaging in a bizarre ritual involving strange black goo that they spit on one another. And it's... oh man...

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Kids were cheering and laughing. A boy drank a whole cup of the smelly black liquid — and then spewed it up into the air. 

Loud cheers.

A girl spit loudly and sprayed black gunk into the face of the girl beside her. A boy sprayed the black liquid like a fountain.

"We cover ourselves in the blackness!" a boy boomed in a loud, deep voice. "We cover ourselves because there's no color in the moon! No color in the sky! No color on the earth!" 

A girl spit black gunk over the hair of a short boy with glasses. The black liquid rolled slowly down his forehead and over his glasses. He bent down to fill his cup, drank, then spit a gob of it down the front of the girl's coat. 

Laughing and cheering, hooting and hollering at the top of their lungs, they sprayed each other. Spit and sprayed the hot black gunk until they were all drenched, all dripping, covered in oily blackness. 

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Goosebumps is a very interesting horror series for a lot of its concepts, but very rarely does it execute horror well. Be that Stine's inability to often weave horror with the books, the intended focus on "fun for kids" horror that he and Scholastic intended, or just his own lack of effort at times. It can lead to many a book that just exists with its horror concept feeling lackluster. And yes, from an adult's eyes, it's far easier to scoff at these books. But, this one is a MAJOR exception. We get what can really be called a strange... I don't want to use the O word even though it pops in my head immediately, this is still a kids book after all, but definitely in that area regardless. 

But it validates the point I was making. These kids are forced to a life they no longer can control. They can't age, can't change, can't escape. Either get lost in the fog that surrounds Grayworld or get lost from your sanity. And while some kids still have their sanity left, sooner rather than later, it'll be too late and all of these children will have lost their minds to the bleak reality of the Grayworld. And if that ain't a point in this book's favor, then I don't know what is? But we need to now address the reason these kids vanished. Not how, but who?

#3. MR. CHAMELEON

R.L. Stine is a blabbermouth in these books. He loves to explain absolutely everything about certain characters or cursed objects. And then there's the real villain of the book. And we really don't know a thing about him. You see, the class of 1947 were sent to Grayworld by the photographer who was hired to take the class photograph. A man named Mr. Chameleon. And all we really know about him from the book is that he hated children. Seemingly hated them so much that he cast a spell to trap them in Grayworld forever. Was he a sorcerer? Did he have a magic camera? I mean, we already have one magic camera, why not another? And just how bad were the class of 1947 to have him resort to this? 

There is so much I wish the book had a chance to cover, but I also get that in the grand scheme, the story needs to focus on the class and what's befallen them over time. But it really makes for one of the most underutilized villains in all of Goosebumps. Like, what really was his deal? Was it just that he hated kids? Did one kid in particular get him so angry that he just up and poofed the entire class? And if he's done this to one whole class, this can't be his only victims. Who else has he gone after? What other horrors has he sent children to? And, given that the book ends with him sending Tommy and the others back to Grayworld, is he immortal? These are the things that you leave the book wondering and for a book series that loves to tell the reader everything, for the real villain to not be the focal point and in the background is an actual good twist. 

Granted, there are problems. Nobody found it odd how a whole class of children vanished after getting their picture taken? Did he just manage to escape in time? And I know it's fifty years later, but I'd be pensive in hiring anyone named Mr. Chameleon to take pictures again. So, the ending is more on really bad decision making other than anything. So hopefully in some way we could get a larger answer to what his deal is. Though props to Goosebumps HorrorTown for adding Mr. Chameleon in their Haunted School event which does a bit more work on his character, but I still feel there's still a lot under the surface that could be built on.

#4. THALIA

Thalia Halpert-Rodis is a side character in the book that should be super obvious as to who she is, but isn't as cut and dry thanks to Greta being presented as more of a villain when in reality, I guess she's just a goth? But we learn that she was the one kid from Grayworld who managed to escape thanks to her lipstick still containing color and being able to craft a doorway back to the real world. Granted, still being colorless, she had to keep wearing heavy makeup to hide it. Another element from the book we don't get but would have been interesting to see would be Thalia's reaction not just to returning to a world of color after decades lost in the gray, but just the general system shock of how the world changed in the nearly 50 years. A literal stranger from a strange land in a familiar yet strange land. I'd love to see a concept like side-pieces to certain books that tie into said story and Thalia's arc is the perfect example of how to do one. So add another point to this book when it's one you actually want to build a world around. And not just the one in black and white and gray. 

#5. THE TWIST

Twist endings are tricky. My favorites personally are the more out there ones that are bizarre yet plausible. But I also love the type that just feel super unfair. The final twist of the knife to this story. Tommy and Ben enter Grayworld and soon find their own color begin to fade. They witness as the class of 1947 go insane and their bizarre ritual. With Thalia's help, they manage to escape in time. Only to then find out they're getting their picture taken by Mr. Chameleon and are sent back. Seemingly forever at this point. Unless maybe they have something that still possesses some color that can act as a doorway, that's game over for our heroes. 

It's the perfect bow on the book. We're already surrounded in the darkness of everything. Why not kick us one more time while we're down? And for once it's actually a good thing. And given my talk earlier about Mr. Chameleon, it just raises further questions and again, ends with the reader at least wanting to know more. Surprised Stine never tried to sequel this one, or even made a half-hearted sequel with no bearing on this book. Even he has restraint I guess. Oh who am I kidding, look at how many frigging Slappy books there are. 

CONCLUSION

I look at The Haunted School as a happy accident. This unexpected stroke of brilliance after such a long run of either mediocre sequels, the odd great book and a lot of meandering titles. This literally came after a sequel to friggin' Deep Trouble. I didn't count it in my definitive ten list because it's so late game in the original series that even with higher acclaim it still feels like a book that most people haven't read. Although unlike most of the late game books, this one did get reprints in the 2003 run and even in 2020 with the latest tin. It's at least had a better showing with the franchise than the three that followed. I honestly think that it's the strongest Goosebumps gets to a deeper plot than most of these books ever get. 

It's not perfect, there's a lot of clunky dialogue and Ben's jokes drag things down, but otherwise, it's all strong stuff. The rare unicorn. The sterling example that Stine's horror work can be great when it's applied in all of the right places. Slappy has had more than enough books. Fever Swamp gets enough love and HorrorLand feels like any other tourist trap. I want to see something built around The Haunted School. Be it within the world of the Grayworld and the kids losing their sanity. Be it the real answers behind who Mr. Chameleon really is and what his deal is beyond the bit added in the HorrorTown game. Be it Thalia's escape. There just feels like a lot left to give with this book that someone could really build upon. It's the ultra-rare case of a Goosebumps book with actual wings that if given that chance, could really fly somewhere. Though knowing Stine, if given that chance, he'd intentionally fly too close to the sun. I just hope the wings he'd give it aren't made of wax.