It's time for some more Nightmare Room. It's time for yet another story about fortunes and curses. We've definitely had our share of these lately, so I doubt we're in for much freshness. Hey, maybe this one could be better. Or, we could be looking at more of the same problems that plague most of these books. A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet, so what about My Name is Evil?
COVER STORY
STORY
We open our story with our protagonist, Maggie O'Connor, being really happy about turning 13. See, now it means she's a more mature and cool teenager, which even her friends, triplets Jackie, Judy and Jilly Mullen find to be pretty silly. The Mullen triplets are also Maggie's best friends, and are called the Three J's which is fitting I guess. Jackie and Judy have dark hair and look more identical, while Jilly is the outlier with blonde hair and a more whispery voice. The triplets take Maggie out to the carnival on the pier. After commenting how odd it is that a yellow rollercoaster is called the "Blue Beast", they check around before stopping at a tattoo parlor. Jackie drags Maggie inside to get a birthday tattoo, which Maggie is steadfast against. As the girls grab her, she notices a creepy looking tattoo with the words [[TITLE OF THE BOOK]] on it.
Of course, the girls laugh about it as they weren't really going to force her to get a tattoo. Though it seems Jilly was the only one not for this dumb prank. As they exit, they spot Glen Martin and his friends. Maggie has a crush on him, but he's not aware of it. They talk for a bit, with Glen calling the triplets names and being called Tarzan in return, which makes him blush. Turns out this hatred between Glen and the triplets has a history as Glen was pantsed by the triplets in front of the school because of course he was. Because of his black bikini briefs, he gained the teasing name of Tarzan. Maggie mentions it's her birthday and Glen says his was yesterday before kissing her hand. Reader beware, this is escalating super quick.
Jilly spots a fortune teller and suggests that Maggie should get her fortune told, to see just what her future holds with Glen. Maggie isn't keen on it, but Jackie and Judy suggest they all get their fortunes told by the woman named Miss Elizabeth. Which, I know Stine's no wrestling fan, but come on. Miss Elizabeth? Like the first thing that wasn't going to pop in my skull wasn't Randy Savage. Which means I get to make wrestling references! Oooh yeah! They enter the tent and meet with Miss Elizabeth who has dark hair with a white streak. She mentions her late husband Walter, who I think is named Gunther now. Anyway, she mentions that Walter is in her crystal ball and will predict the futures of those whose palms she reads.
For Jilly, Miss Elizabeth says she'll be a famous dancer. Judy will have a big family with lots of animals. And Jackie... we don't get an answer on that one. Guess Stine couldn't think of one? Then it's time for Maggie's turn. As Miss Elizabeth starts the palm read, she panics and screams at Maggie to get away. She says that Maggie is evil and brings evil wherever she goes. Whether her name is Evil we haven't gotten that answer yet. Maggie is in a panic, but the triplets all think it's just some ruse to mess with people's heads. Despite, you know, her knowing everything about the triplets.
Later, Maggie performs some magic tricks with the triplets, including taking Jackie's necklace she got from her great grandmother and makes it disappear only to be in Jackie's pocket. They think the trick was rather mean, but like, all you three have been doing is acting awful to Maggie and others, so glass houses. After that, the Mullen family cat, the actually decent named Plumper, lays on Maggie before suddenly hissing and attacking her. They're all confused, but the triplets then think maybe it means Maggie really is evil. Maggie is hurt and confused. Hell, if anyone's the evil one it's Jackie. How she taunts people and dropped Glen's pants like that. Regardless, Maggie needs answers. That night she goes to see Miss Elizabeth again, but her tent is destroyed, as is her crystal ball. It seems like something, or someone got rid of Miss Elizabeth. I bet it was Hulk Hogan, he had lust for Elizabeth.
Maggie runs into Glen the next day, who is mowing lawns for the block. Hopefully no Bugman headstones to run over. Jackie and Judy show up and, like before, mock Glen and keep mentioning the fortune teller and how Maggie is evil. No really, how are you friends with these three headaches? They do mention that there was big incident in school where one of Glen's friends dropped a beaker in lab and it was ammonia that caused kids to puke and the school to be evacuated. It wouldn't be a 2000s era Stine book without the possibility of puke. Maggie was on a field trip to an art museum, so of course she was unaware. Maggie tries on Jackie's necklace and around the same time her pet canary Chirpy escapes the cage and flies around in a panic, with Maggie so mad she says she could kill the bird for this. So, putting a pin on that for now when the inevitable occurs. They manage to get Chirpy back in the cage for now.
After that happens, they see Glen trip to the ground and his FOOT GET CAUGHT IN THE LAWNMOW- oh wait, never mind, he just got a small cut. But that's one way to end a chapter, huh? After Glen leaves, Jackie jokes about how Maggie must have used her evil on him. Can-can Maggie just curb stomp her already? Oh and Chirpy's dead... *cough*. They bury Chirpy and for once Jackie isn't just making wise cracks over it. But now Maggie's really freaked out. I mean, she did say that she wanted to kill the bird, but like, not KILL kill. They head inside for a bit but before leaving, Jackie and the others notice a bunch of books on a shelf in Maggie's house. Just some books about the occult and stuff, no big deal. I mean, it is a big deal given everything, but you know, we're still too early to rub the two sticks together.
Maggie asks her mother if she's evil, and Mrs. O'Connor responds by joking about actually being a witch. Which, I guess is a fair way to respond to your kid worrying about being evil. It's far less of a "Goosebumps Parents" response afterwards either as she would find it odd that Maggie would suddenly have evil powers out of nowhere. It's not like it started on her thirteenth birthday or anything. Criminy, this is another puberty allegory isn't it? That night, Maggie gets a call from Jackie who can't find her necklace, even though Maggie is sure she gave it back. The next day, at school, as Jilly is going down the stairs, Maggie touches her which is enough to scare Jilly so bad she takes a tumble down the stairs. Maybe Maggie's name isn't evil. Maybe it's actually Jinx. Maggie tries to apologize but Jilly, now injured shoulder that actually was bleeding (rare to get blood in a Stine kids book) says that clearly Maggie shoved her.
So Jilly is hurt, Jackie still doesn't have her necklace and Judy also believes that Maggie must have done all this intentionally because these are some shitty friends. But at least Plumper doesn't attack her this time. Instead, Maggie can actually pet her. At the dance audition, Jilly is still pissed at Maggie but still performs amazingly. That is until Maggie gets this weird tingling sensation in her hands (which has been happening during many of the incidents). Suddenly Jilly starts spinning faster and faster. Out of control. Until she just collapses in a heap. As she recovers, she blames Maggie for it because Maggie is evil. You know, it's awful that Maggie's awful friends are blaming her for this, but in this case, yeah, she has a point here.
Oh, and remember when Maggie pet Plumper with no problems? Well Judy shows Maggie Plumper later and the cat now lost a bunch of his fur from where Maggie pet her. Maggie gets a call from her dad who says that he totally didn't forget her birthday and that something's coming in the mail. Maggie asks if she has evil powers or something, but her dad says he can't talk about that before hanging up. The next day, Maggie learns that Jilly's injured and still angry. Oh, and Plumper is now at the vet as the cat now has a bunch of sores. Man, Stine was pent up for some animal abuse, huh? Jackie heads to Maggie's and finds the necklace and calls Maggie evil. You know, getting rid of the triplets might be the ultimate net positive because they are some grade a SHUH-HITT-TAY FRIENDS. As Jackie points at her and calls her evil, her finger starts to curl backwards and break which, hot damn Bob you really are pent up.
So, the triplets hate Maggie which, again, net positive all the way, but Maggie still needs to prove to them that she's not evil. And to do so, she says that one of the girls at lunch, Marci? Well, if Maggie's evil, wouldn't she be able to cause Marci to trip and fall-Marci trips and falls. All while Maggie's hands are on fire. So yeah, this is going great. And then more kids fall and collapse. And there's kids vomiting, why wouldn't there be? Everyone is now after Maggie, but Glen helps her get away, but even he thinks she's evil as well. Maggie runs off and ends up at the mall where she spots Miss Elizabeth. She confirms it's evil, then runs off in a panic, so yeah.
Maggie calls Jackie again and tries to convince her one more time that she can't be evil. And to do so, she'll try to get Jackie an A in algebra. Instead she gets an B in bleeding. As in a large gusher of a nosebleed. Can we get to the fireworks factory already? Outside of murdering the triplets, the point's been made, Stine. She's evil. Maggie talks with Glen, who even he thinks is evil. But with the pet fair coming the next day maybe she can prove it there that she's not-god this book should have ended a long time ago-that she's not evil. Because eighty-third time's the charm. It doesn't work as the animals all escape the cages and we get a crazy fracas with all the pets going nuts. As everyone chases after Maggie, she runs into Glen again.
TWIST ENDING
Glen then says that they all deserved what they got. But when he mentions Jackie's necklace, Maggie finally puts two and two together. She's not evil, Glen is. So, remember when I mentioned Glen kissing Maggie's hand? Well THAT's what Miss Elizabeth saw. That's why she had the tingling sensations. It was Glen who shared his powers with her. Wait, does this mean she didn't wash her hands in days? Eww. The triplets show up, pretty much ready to kill Maggie at this point, to which Maggie reveals it was Glen the whole time. And, dude's lost his poker face by now, he admits it. That this was a long con since the pantsing. Maggie then turns around and uses the powers to cause Glen to spin super fast then shrink into a chipmunk. Wait what? Maggie says the evil is gone now and now that she can use it for good. Jackie asks for that algebra A and Maggie says that she and the triplets will now make the honor roll. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA the triplets are still trash though.
I will give My Name Is Evil credit. It is a surprisingly dark book. One that is surprisingly gory even for a Stine book for kids. We get actual moments with kids bleeding or being in serious peril. It definitely feels like Stine wanted to go all out on this one and in the end gave us one of his crazier efforts. That being said, crazy moment after crazy moment really don't matter when the overall package feels like a slog to get through. Seriously to the point where we could have gotten the Glen reveal multiple times before then. With the exception of straight up killing the triplets, by midway we got the point. Although I also feel Glen was a last minute decision. What was up with Maggie's dad? What was up with the occult books in her house? Were they remnants of an earlier draft? Pure coincidence? Stine just not knowing how to make them work? As such it makes their addition all the more weird to keep in.
Not that Glen doesn't make sense though. He got embarrassed by the triplets. Hell, the triplets kept making his life hell. And with his powers, clearly he played the long con to get his revenge. Using Maggie as his pawn and gaslighting her into thinking that she really was the villain here. Though the ending feels dumb. Like, not just the chipmunk part though what the hell was that? He's already won in ruining Maggie's life. Why would he then just reveal his intentions and allow Maggie a chance in revenge? He had all these steps in place and no exit strategy? Again, it just feels like Stine cornered himself so badly here and just wanted to end this book with Maggie getting a win in some form. Though, I dunno. Those three still being Maggie's friends doesn't scream happy ending to me.
Maggie is a decent protagonist. You do feel bad for her with everything going on, yet you wouldn't fully be shocked if the outcome was that she really was evil in the end or part of a family of the occult. The Mullen Triplets are god awful. Like, even if you feel a bit bad for everything that befalls them, they still just suck. From pantsing Glen to pressuring Maggie to do things to reminding her of the Evil claims to treating her like trash at every possible opportunity. The fact Maggie ends up with them still in her life is no happy ending here. Like, it would sacrifice her character to do so, but if she had pulled a Ricky Beamer, this would have been one of the greatest twists of all time. But alas. I guess three bitchy friends is a better outcome than being gaslit by a sorcerer boyfriend with a massive hubris.
So, this one ultimately ends up in the "just okay" pile. A very ambitious book with a lot of good horror elements but also tiring to sit through by the end. Whittle this book down by a few chapters and maybe remove the elements that stick out and this would be a far better book, but I'll still call it worthy of a recommend. It guess its name isn't so much Evil, but Lesser Evil. My Name is Evil gets a B-.
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