Point by Numbers: The Babysitter III

Been a while since we covered a Babysitters book. The book series in which Jenny Jeffers' life becomes a living hell as she takes on babysitting jobs that escalate in someone trying to kill her. Be it a grieving father or a demented secretary. How can things get worse? Let's see with The Babysitter III. 

Well we've escalated from open windows and doors to Jenny being in the most peril of any of these covers as she watches in horror as a hand tries to get in. Maybe, I dunno, slam the door on it, maybe jab it with something. Though that would piss the assailant off, so maybe that's not wise either. I'm mixed at times on the "girl in peril" trope for covers, but this one does it just fine and feels less exploitative than most.

In the first book, Jenny Jeffers takes on a babysitting job for the Hagen family, watching their son Donny. However, she soon starts to suspect someone is constantly trying to get her. It turns out to be Mr. Hagen, who had a vendetta against babysitters since his daughter died due to negligence. He tries to kill Jenny, but ends up falling into a quarry and dying. In the second book, Jenny is still haunted by the incident, fearing Mr. Hagen will return from the dead. She babysits for the Wexler family and has to deal with the somewhat demented Eli. All the while the threats return. However, she soon learns it wasn't Mr. Hagen, but rather Miss Gurney, the secretary of the doctor she was seeing. So two babysitting jobs, two attempted murders of her. But, three attempted murders during babysitting? That's impossible. Or is it?

Two years have passed since the Hagen incident and Jenny Jeffers still thinks about it. But it's also summer so she also thinks about making money. So she ends up working for the mall donut shop called the "Donut Hole". Which, to me, you may as well be calling your donut shop The Anus. She's still with Cal, the boy who saved her life during the encounter with Miss Gurney, so it's going better than her previous relationship with Chuck did at least. As she heads home with Claire and Rick, she thinks she sees Mr. Hagen holding a baby, then proceeding to grab the baby and tearing its head off. Stine's gotta kill something, may as well be Junior, there. But it's revealed there was no Mr. Hagen and it was just a broken doll. The bad visions of Mr. Hagen are returning.

So, instead of this book being "The Donut Hole-er", Jenny learns that she'll be spending the summer With her aunt Julia and cousin Debra. Dr. Schindler even suggests that a change of scenery will do her good. And, besides, if Mr. Hagen's zombie somehow did exist, how would it be able to follow her, with magic zombie powers? Jenny likes Debra, but thinks she's too perfect. Right now though she's conflicted since this would be leaving Cal for a while. As she heads out to Cal's, she again thinks someone is stalking her. When she confronts the man, he says that he wasn't following her, but walking his dog, Petey and giving her back her bag that she dropped. Jenny tells Cal the news and he isn't too happy about it. Enough so that Jenny begins to question if she really knows him as well as she thinks. 

We then shift the POV over to Debra, who is teasing a boy named Terry on the phone and claiming to be his secret admirer. Oh, I'm sorry, I think I grabbed a copy of The Wrong Number... wait, no, I have the right book. But this is interrupted when her ex-boyfriend Don shows up. Described as large and powerful and a member of the wrestling team with a tendency of just showing up ad Debra's house. He heard everything that Debra was saying to Terry and calls her cold before threatening not just to tell Terry about the calls, but Debra's current boyfriend Mark. As Don grabs her in a panic, Jenny shows up to diffuse the situation. We learn that it's been a couple years since Jenny's seen Debra, and she's been busy with several boyfriends. She also has a job babysitting, which immediately triggers Jenny. 

As Jenny heads with Debra to the babysitting job, we learn she does the job twice a week. She tells her mom it's three nights so she can go out with Mark, who we learn has a bit of an attitude problem and once cheated on some schoolwork that got him in trouble, though Debra says it wasn't entirely his fault. As they talk, some guy drives up to them and asks if they need a lift, to which they pretty much tell him to get lost. Well, that's concerning. They arrive at the home of Mrs. Wagner, a recently divorced woman whose house has become unkempt and is described as looking bird-like and always nervous. But the baby, Peter, is pretty easy to babysit, so while Jenny's nerves are getting to her, she calms down just enough. We get our exposition dump as Jenny tells Debra the whole story of the past two books. 

But their discussion is cut short when they hear the sound of someone in the house. Of course, Jenny thinks it's Mr. Hagen, but instead it's a short, fat woman with lots of makeup. She introduces herself as Maggie, the former housekeeper for Mrs. Wagner. Clearly drunk, but denying it. And we get enough of an answer as to why she was likely fired by how she denies being drunk while working and also stealing a bunch of stuff. So, red flags right off the bat. She takes a brown bag and then warns the girls to get away from there as things at the Wagner house tend to disappear. After she leaves, Mark shows up. While mostly a goof, he seems fine. Debra mentions that Mark is a lifeguard and that... all the twelve year old girls really love him. They pretend to drown and he "only saves the cute ones". I think I felt my soul puke a little there.

Mark's dad runs a riding stable and since Jenny is now job-free she can take a job as a helper. As Mark makes his leave, Jenny checks on Peter and panics, thinking he's not breathing, but that just turns out to be another one of her hallucinations. You know, I get it's the whole reason the book exists, but maybe the last thing someone who needs to get away from traumatic babysitting incidents is to, you know, not be near any actual babysitting. The next day, Jenny starts her job at the stable helping kids on horses. She talks with one of the other employees, Gary Kileen before overhearing Debra again calling Terry with the secret admirer shtick. She then once again sees another vision of Mr. Hagen, telling her that he's back.

After another hallucination, Jenny talks with Debra some more before the next babysitting job at Mrs. Wagner's. But first she wants to give Terry another call because she really is starting to get off on it. She then decides maybe it'll be more fun if Jenny does it instead. God, this really is just The Wrong Number at this point. Jenny does so, but Terry says that he knows Debra's the one responsible thanks to Don ratting her out like he said he would. He may be a creep, but a thorough one, I guess. Debra goes to babysit Peter who is teething, which Mrs. Wagner suggests just rubbing some rum on his gums which, I know that was a thing that was done, but we're just giving the baby alcohol, huh? Gotta start them young somehow. After Mrs. Wagner leaves, Debra gets a call. The voice says that it's Mr. Hagen and does the whole shtick. "Babes", "Company's coming". The whole megillah. So now this is also Debra's problem. 

Debra talks it over with Mark later on and thinks that it's obviously all a joke. Someone trying to scare Jenny, despite getting Debra instead. Mark then lets it slip that he may have told some of his friends about the whole "Jenny and Mr. Hagen" incident, so it could really be anyone. But it could have been Terry who works... at the Dairy... Freez... Look, it's my own twisted head, but you have a teen named Terry working at a Dairy Freeze (or Freez here) and I'm just thinking this is secretly a Say Cheese and Die! spinoff and we've been secretly spending this entire book in Pitts Landing. And now I think of skeleton picnic because of course I do. I really have read too many of these damn books, man...

Terry does admit to Debra that he did call her the other night, but at Debra's house when she had left. So he wasn't our "Mr. Hagen". Despite the whole secret admirer thing, Terry seems cool with Debra and accepts an invitation to hang out with Mark and Jenny later. They go to see a very funny Chevy Chase movie... in the 90s? Possibly Memoirs of an Invisible Man at the very least. And things go well, though Debra's jealous that Terry and Jenny are getting along so well since she really just wants all the boys except Don. Though at least not in like a manipulative Reva Dalby sense and more of just not really understanding why she's always like this with relationships. A character with dimensions, in a Stine book? Mark soon learns about the phone calls, though not the secret admirer part just yet.

As the girls head back to Debra's, Jenny spots something in the bushes. A baby. She panics again, thinking it must be Peter, but Debra says it's just a doll, which, given the one around the mall was innocuous enough, this one is setting off Jenny's warning signals bad. Made no better when they spot a note on the doll's neck from Mr. Hagen, saying he'll be coming soon. Jenny panics, thinking he's come back for her, but Debra thinks this may be directed at her. That this is all still part of a prank after the phone call previously. Debra suspects that the only possible culprit would be Cal, Jenny's boyfriend. And despite how he acted before she left, Jenny finds that hard to believe. No way it could be Cal... right? I mean probably not, but we still have a little bit more to go with that answer. Although things get more concerning when she calls Cal's house to find out he's been missing for a week.

Jenny works at the stable and soon sees Cal on a horse. Despite her pleas she ends up riding with him. And then his face melts off revealing a skeletal Mr. Hagen who attacks her before she wakes up. Okay, how was THAT not the cover? At her next babysitting job, Debra gets a call from Mark who has learned about the whole secret admirer thing and is ready to kick her to the curb, which, I mean in this case, jape or not, he's at least within reason. The phone rings again and it's Mr. Hagen, now specifically coming after Debra. She then checks on Peter before hearing noises in the house. It's Maggie the housekeeper again, still as fit-shaced as she was the last time she was present. She says that she's coming back for what is owed to her and tries to kick Debra out of the house. 

Debra finally talks to Mrs. Wagner later about Maggie and, as it was pretty evident, she's an alcoholic who constantly stole stuff and is fixated on Peter. She's been homeless for a long time, but still had the key to the Wagner house, hence why she just seems to wander in whenever she pleases. But Mrs. Wagner says she'll change the locks pronto. Later that night, Jenny wakes up screaming. Similar nightmare as before but this time Cal is in a car when his face falls off. Given she was watching a kid who was watching Poltergeist in the first book, I think I know where that particular dream stems from. Debra mentions "Mr. Hagen", but now Jenny is convinced more than ever that he's come back from beyond the grave to get his revenge.

At the stable, Jenny can't keep her focus, worried about Mr. Hagen. Gary suggests she rides one of the horses, Thunderclap, and get her mind off things. She does just that, only to notice she's being followed by someone, just as a convenient storm hits. Meanwhile, Debra is babysitting again and even more paranoid given the storm and the electricity possibly going out. She calls Mark's place but gets no answer. She gets a scare call from Eddie, one of Mark's friends, looking for him. This is followed by a call from Mrs. Wagner saying she'll be late. Still paranoid, Debra goes to check on Peter. Only there's no Peter in the crib. 

Panicked, Debra looks around for him, but finds a muddy footprint on the carpeting. In a rave of fear and nausea she heads down the stairs only to find Cal at the front door. He just arrived looking for Jenny. Debra calls 911 to report Peter's disappearance, but her phone is dead. They head over to the next door neighbor's house to report that a dead man stole a baby. I mean, there's another super highly probable culprit over Mr. Hagen, but I also get it. Pure panic at the situation that escalated from seemingly just being pranks to a full on kidnapping. Of course Debra thinks it's really Mr. Hagen now. Mrs. Wagner and police arrived. While Debra thinks it's Mr. Hagen, Mrs. Wagner thinks that if it's Maggie, they may never find Peter. The phone rings again, this time being "Mr. Hagen" who has Jenny and Peter and he's coming for Debra.

Debra immediately realizes who the voice is and takes Mrs. Wagner and the cops to the stable. And we soon learn that the one who kidnapped Peter, the one who kidnapped Jenny, the one who is "Mr. Hagen"... is Jenny. 

Oh fuck you, Bob. Fuuuuck you. We're doing this? We're really making Jenny the villain? We're REALLY making this whole twist a turnaround to her own bad mental health? I had that inkling but good god, Bob. I'll get to it in the conclusion. Thought this would be a cut and dry conclusion but, and this is with the whole throat...

WHAT THE HELL, STINE!???

So... so yeah. This was all Jenny. The whole time. The calls, the threats. Kidnapping Peter. It-it was her. And, and oh my god Bob fuck you for this, she now thinks she IS Mr. Hagen. The cops are about to shoot her, but a lightning bolt scares the horse, knocking Jenny off. She gets put in a squad car as Cal and the others finally clue in that Mr. Hagen was in Jenny's mind this whole time to the point that he sort of manifested himself into a split personality. But now she'll definitely get the help she needs. And so the book ends with Debra looking up at the now moonlit sky, at least content that the nightmare is over. Oh, blow me, Bob.

You know. Before I get really angry at that ending, I at least have to say up front that I never thought there should have been a Babysitter II let alone a third book. Though I'll forgive the second book's existence mainly for being a way to focus on Jenny's experience a year later. Though that in itself feels super exploitive to someone's fears and mental health. So going into a third book, I figured we'd continue on that, even though there is really no need for this book to even exist. Jenny's arc really should have ended when Mr. Hagen died. And going through this book for the most part, I was starting to enjoy it. But deep in the back of my head I had an inkling where this was going. That there really is only one way for this to end. And I was hoping within hope that of all the times Stine could swerve a story's inevitability, this would be one of those cases. And nope. No, he had to make this not just a book about mental health, but easily his worst book (that I've read so far) about mental health ever. 

Because a bad twist can be a bad twist, but there are just some twists that are unforgivable. And turning Jenny, a literal victim of trauma, into a split-personality schizophrenic villain who thinks she's the man who tried to kill her may be the worst thing ever. Like... why? Why does it have to end this way? You have Maggie existing in this story, you have the Gary guy existing in the story. We never learn Maggie's last name, it could have been Kileen. Have the reveal be that the kidnapping and revenge on the Wagner family, as well as the mind games, were from them. Maggie even says she was coming back for what she was owed. Given she was already sneaking around in the house, there could be a good chance she learned about the Hagen stuff and used it to her advantage. It would have been predictable, but it would have at least been tasteful. And yes, I get it. 1993 book, but screw that. This kind of shit was hack in 1993 and it sure as hell is gross now. Straight up the lowest dog shit you could do. 

And I know I'm one to talk given I've advocated Amy Kramer being the villain of Night of the Living Dummy II, but at least there you could have Slappy's involvement be the catalyst. Slappy wasn't someone who tried to hurt her. Slappy didn't have a history with her at all before Amy got him. At least there, it would have been a neat swerve. Here, it reeks of Stine just wanting to pull a gotcha without realizing that this would completely damage any good will this book could have ever had. And to what? Have Debra be the only one with a happy ending? Honestly, would anyone be THAT opposed if Debra was a unique entity on her own barely attached to the baggage of Jenny's history? It's not like Stine hasn't done sequels with little to no connection to one another before, so it's in his wheelhouse. But nope. Can't do that, now can we?

That ending is just insulting to actual victims of trauma. And even if Stine didn't intend it to be malicious, which lord I find that hard to believe, it still just feels gross and exploitive. Sacrificing a character's suffering and torment for a cheap, lame ending. It also trivializes people with multiple personalities as being "dangerous and insane" which is such a shitty thing to do. It sets the stigma of mental breakdowns as a sign of someone being a threat that needs to be dealt with in the worst possible ways and oh god Stine, you never thought for a second about what that entails? And here's the kicker... THIS ISN'T EVEN THE LAST BABYSITTER BOOK! NOR IS THIS THE END OF JENNY'S SAGA! And I have heard stories of how bad that book is, so I'll definitely have to see how Stine makes things worse here. 

Before the last few pages, this book would have been a B- at worst. A retread that felt pointless but had enough interesting little threads to keep it from being too horrible. Just ultimately Superfluous Clay. But those last few pages, man. Talk about taking a book out behind the barn and just shooting it in the back of the head. I can't in good conscience recommend this book after that, nor can I feel content giving it any positive rating. If Revenge R Us is Goosebumps' nadir, then the ending of this book is definitely the nadir for his Point run... that I know of at least. And according to some, the worst is yet to come. The Babysitter III falls all the way to an F.