A Case of the Bumps: Coping With Ross

 
Evan Ross is quite a character in the Goosebumps series. Star of four books in the original series, the only protagonist to do so. His books, the Monster Blood quartet, are ones that are usually hotly contested in terms of quality. Some people like them, others don't. I lean towards that latter camp, though I feel it's more the case of Stine's decision to just ignore the stronger first book to force these sequels to exist. So, there's a lot of things I can talk about, and while I could easily make this a takedown of the character who the sequels truly ruin in Andy, given her connection to Evan, it's more fitting to talk about him in this edition of A Case of the Bumps.

#01: WHO IS EVAN ROSS?

Evan Ross is the protagonist of the first four Monster Blood books and the two Monster Blood episodes. He's a rather average kid despite often being rather whiny or easily depressed. When we first meet him, he kind of has a reason to be both those things, as his parents are off to Atlanta to find a new home, while dumping Evan off with his Great Aunt Kathryn, a deaf woman who also seems super cold and abrasive to him. And with no TV or anything to keep him entertained, while also suspecting that he's been left with a woman who both hates him and may have an intent to harm him, it's not hard to see why he is how he is.

Evan soon finds a friend in a girl named Andrea, who prefers to be called Andy. They hit it off well enough and soon find an old can of  Monster Blood from a toy store. They take the can and strange things soon happen. The slime continues to get larger, Evan's dog Trigger also starts to grow after ingesting it, and no matter what the two try to do, it grows big enough and becomes seemingly impossible to defeat. Soon Evan and Andy discover that the one responsible was Kathryn, confirming Evan's fears... for like ten seconds before it's actually revealed to be the plan of a witch named Sarabeth who was posing as a cat and wanting to get Evan out of the picture. Thanks to giant Trigger, Sarabeth gets sucked into the Monster Blood mass and the slime vanishes. A perfectly well contained adventure. 

And then Goosebumps became a success and the worst thing to happen to the series would occur. And thus we got the sequel books, starting with book #18: Monster Blood II. Now living in Atlanta, Evan is still in a bad state of mind. He's made no friends, only more enemies. The school bully Conan Barber continues to get Evan in trouble, where he also has to deal with his jerk of a teacher Mr. Murphy, while also having to take care of Cuddles, the class hamster. But what else weighs on Evan's mind is the incident involving the Monster Blood. It's all he ever thinks about. It gives him nightmares. It created an emotional trauma for him that never really went away. But Evan does have some good luck as Andy moves to Atlanta and at least gives him one friend. But one could look at Andy as a burden and not a bud.

#02: THE AND-TAGONIST

Andy is as interesting a character as she is frustrating. On the one hand, she is Evan's only friend and sticks by him for the remainder of the books. It's something for Evan at least. A platonic friendship like all GB kids. But her actions for the majority of the series becomes more antagonistic, more devil on the shoulder, and more the person who treats the trauma her best friend went through as a joke. Because she constantly brings up Monster Blood in front of Evan, jokes about putting it in his food, constantly being the devil on his shoulder to get him to use the Monster Blood. To the point that it goes from sheer ignorance over her friend's mental trauma and more just being the real antagonist of the story. 

I get it. For Andy, the Monster Blood incident didn't leave a scar on her like it did Evan. That may have to do with her own sense of humor which can be more sick and sardonic than Evan's. The two being almost polar opposites in that way. And if this were a better book series maybe the books would elaborate more on that and flesh Andy out as a character who can see how her best friend feels about things. But no, her character becomes the most flanderized of all of the characters in the series. Because she brings back the can of Monster Blood. And also gets more monster blood from her parents while they're away. Which I'm going to rag on once more. 

I get it. In Stine's mind, sequels are as much new way to write the stories without the effort of treating continuity like it matters in the long run. The problem is that when you write a sequel that ignores a key piece of the continuity just to make a new canon that makes less sense, it shows big time. It's like if A Nightmare On Elm Street Part II changed Freddy Krueger from a being that stalks dreams to just always being around and alive, ready to kill teens. I mean, that semi feels like that movie, but you get my point. By ignoring the Sarabeth origin, it just feels like this weird monster toy just always existed which feels like a poor explanation. 

And that's why I consider Andy an antagonist. I've floated the idea that Andy is Sarabeth all along. She just randomly shows up where Evan lives, her parents aren't present, she just so happens to have more Monster Blood and that Monster Blood grows and causes mayhem. All while she tells Evan to use the slime for revenge on Conan and in the third book Kermit. "It'll be fun" she says. Trying to coax Evan to the dark side while also devaluing the threat of the Monster Blood itself. Turning it into just a lame revenge tool that constantly goes wrong, but every single time she suggests it once more. 

In terms of my head cannon, somehow Sarabeth managed to survive being sucked into the Monster Blood. Being a witch who could already shape shift, she found where Evan lived and became Andy, once again trying to get Evan killed by suggesting to use the Monster Blood on his enemies. It also holds water as she never learns her lesson with this, nor ever once considers Evan's trauma over the Monster Blood. If this were the real Andy, you'd hope she would have been more reasonable. Maybe the first time with the slime, but not a second, nor a third, nor a fourth, fifth, sixth, or hundredth attempt to get Evan to use the slime. At least I hope so, because if not, she's a really poorly written character. Like even for Stine standards.

#03: KERMIT

After Evan's issues in Monster Blood II with the slime, a giant Cuddles and his best friend constantly telling him to use the deadly item, things couldn't get much worse for him. That is, until we get to Monster Blood III. And if you thought Evan's social circle couldn't get any more toxic, here comes Kermit. Kermit is Evan's younger cousin. A scientific genius with a penchant for making Evan's life a living hell. Using him as a guinea pig for his different solutions and formulas. Often getting Evan in trouble with Conan, or with Kermit's mother, Evan's Aunt Dee. If Evan didn't need the money from the babysitting gig with Kermit, he'd wash his hands of the little runt, but unfortunately, we wouldn't have a book either.

As the story progresses and after once again Andy suggests the Monster Blood, Evan accidentally ingests it and grows into a giant. A similar incident happened in Monster Blood II, but was far more brief because somehow magic growing slime has an expiration date. Are you starting to get why I feel these sequels were bad yet? After that, Kermit seems to change his attitude and helps out Evan. Only for us to get to Monster Blood IV and once again he's making Evan's life a living hell. In fact much of that book feels like a copypasta until we get the introduction of the blue Monster Blood. He's once again a guinea pig and once again being blamed for everything.

Kermit is awful, perhaps on a similar level to Andy. Where Andy is the persuasion that tries to push Evan towards chaos, Kermit is the one who seems to have no problem just making Evan's life a living hell. And not just in the name of science. And let's be honest, if one of his experiments did kill Evan, he'd try to say that it wasn't his fault and that Evan must have gone too far. Kermit growing up to be a mad scientist with a body count doesn't feel too out of the question. 

#04: CONAN BARBER

While Andy and Kermit can be considered shades of grey, there's no mistaking the black heart of Conan Barber. Conan is a stock bully, willing to beat up anyone weaker than him. Evan is his most favorite mark. Both in just finding any excuse to pound on him, or, in more clever ways, painting the scene as if Evan is the troublemaker. Sure Evan, you can throw a limp punch at me, given that Mr. Murphy will see it and think you're the instigator. Sure Evan, you can get Cuddles back if you sing "Row Row Row Your Boat" in front of the school. Conan in terms of bully-ness is someone with the frame of a Nelson Muntz mixed with the arrogance and cunning of a Roger Klotz. So you can kind of see why in-between a supposed friend and an annoying cousin ruining his life that Conan would also be a real reason for Evan's ennui. 

#05: EVAN'S TRAUMA

Evan's a kid with a serious issue involving trauma. It's clear the incident with the Monster Blood screwed him up. Hell, the whole affair at Kathryn's screwed him up. Be it the abuse by the Beymer twins, his dog turning gigantic, a cat witch trying to kill him, his concerns that his great aunt is trying to kill him, and finally the Monster Blood itself. There's a lot of reasons for why it would mess him up. In the sequels it becomes established that he has nightmares about the Monster Blood, about what happened to Trigger, or what could happen to him. Even by the fourth book, he's still triggered by the events, at one point having a traumatic flashback when wearing a green jacket. Evan has a psychological trauma from a harrowing event that he just can't get over.

So when Andy suggests using it, you can see that Evan is the only one of the two who still has that fear of the substance. Where Andy thinks it's a fun revenge tool, Evan sees it as the time he almost died. Or the time he almost died again. Or the time he grew into a giant and was chased after by cops, likely to worry about dying again. So it makes sense why this never left Evan. I get it. Books from the nineties. We weren't privy to the effects of poor mental health at that point in time, so Andy not realizing or respecting Evan's feelings in terms of the matter make sense. But in hindsight, just makes her a really rotten friend to him. I would only really allow the idea if it was in order to help Evan face his fears. His fear of the Monster Blood. To battle with the demons in his head, instead of being a demon in his ear. Add in his bratty cousin, his aunt thinking he's a bad kid, a bully who gets off on his suffering and a whole school that ostracizes him, you can see why Evan is how he is.

#06: IS EVAN THAT BAD A PROTAGONIST?

Honestly, Evan is a mixed bag as a focus. He's far from the worst and we've had far worse. But he isn't a very positive character, and not one who ever gets a moment's peace to feel positive. And given he's the most prevalent GB protagonist of the original era, it has given him this stigma of being the worst protagonist. Granted, he doesn't make a good first impression early on with how whiny and mopey he is. Apparently whiny and mopey enough that his parents dumped him with not just any relative, but a deaf relative. But as the lead to the story, he's fine enough. 

I think by the time you get to the fourth book you get Evan. You kind of see his point of view by now and how his life is just filled with bad influences and bad encounters. Honestly, I can see some kids who were much like Evan constantly being mistreated by others and their feelings diminished by their so-called friends. Being down on themselves mostly on account of things beyond their control. But Evan barely gets to be a character that those kids would latch to either as he never gets a happy ending. The cycle continues. Unless the day came he finally had enough of Andy and Kermit, this is his limbo. His cross to bear. So ultimately he isn't that bad of a protagonist, but just never given an opportunity to be a good or even great protagonist. And that's pretty damn sad when you think about it.

#07: CONCLUSION

Evan Ross is quite a character in the Goosebumps series. I said that at the start of this article and it doesn't really change otherwise. A perpetual loser surrounded by bad influences and abusive outside forces to which he can never have a chance to be happy. A Charlie Brown figure. Wishy-washy and constantly the butt of the universe's jokes. Or in this case, the universe crafted by R.L. Stine. I think Stine realized that eventually, and after a brief cameo by Evan in Return to HorrorLand, Stine just reboots the entire Monster Blood concept with new characters and new origins for the slime substance. And while it's been a mixed bag, it was the hail Mary this saga needed after Stine turned it into a complete and utter mess. Which is a shame for the legacy of the first character to appear in more than one book. But, as we've discussed throughout this blog, is oddly the most fitting way to end Evan Ross' saga. He started a born loser, he finishes a born loser. Every universe needs a Charlie Brown, and that's Evan Ross.