The Stinal Countdown: The Un-Bumped Six: Three Faces of Me

The year 2000 wasn't exactly a happy time to be a Goosebumps fan. The past three years behind the scenes involving the Stines and Scholastic were getting toxic with multiple lawsuits over rights. With things a mess, R.L. Stine left Scholastic when his contract ended in early 2000. And despite attempts to continue the Goosebumps name without Scholastic, things stalled. But Stine didn't stall when it came to writing, as he continued with new books. This included a few new series including The Nightmare Room, which I intend to get to in the future. 

But today's is part of a more odd batch of books released in the early 2000s which I dub "The Un-Bumped six". Six short children's horror books that seem like they were intended for future installments of the series proper (with one confirmed to have been). And they even have art by Tim Jacobus so maybe they have even more of that feeling of the lost books. Of course, Stine would go on to do several non-series kids horror books, but these six in particular stand out for how close they were released to one another and having a very uniform design. So, with the preamble out of the way, let's take a look at Three Faces of Me.

COVER STORY

This cover is pretty bland to be honest. I think some things work, particularly the colors and the unique faces on our three faced protagonist. So it at least sells the whole clone concept well, or make it seem like a split personality story. And don't worry, if you needed to know softball was involved, then Tim made sure of it. Other than that, it feels really rushed. The expressions feel a bit less unique, other than the right face being the most sinister. The sky also feels like one of the least interesting skies that Tim's ever drawn. And there's that extra little lightning bolt that he loved in these later works. So, to sum up, it's fine, but low standard for a Tim work.

STORY

Ira Fishman is a kid with a dream. He always liked the idea of having clones of himself to do the things he doesn't want to do. He also is given the nickname of "Fish", which at least works better than "Hat". Although I don't think he totally gets it as he wonders what fish has red hair and freckles? A red haired lead. This is a Stine book alright. One day, when walking home with his brother Zack, they stop at the local candy shop which has a claw machine. Ira puts a coin in, and actually manages to pull something out. A strange camera with nowhere to put film. I swear, if this is Say Cheese and Die - Again - For Reals This Time... 

They take the camera home and Ira presses the button on top, but nothing happens. After getting a snack, he returns to his room and sees his exact double, right down to the same left-handedness and mannerisms. The boy introduces himself as Ira Fishman, which confuses the real Ira (for the sake of my own sanity and to make this at least readable, I'll have the original Ira as "Ira Prime" and any extra Iras listed by a number). They fight, with Ira Prime wanting Ira 2 to leave, but when they hear Zack coming up stairs, they manage to hide in time. Zack almost touches the camera, which Ira Prime concludes created the clone, but doesn't. Ira Prime decides to go out for a bit and have Ira 2 do his homework.

After Ira Prime returns home, he tells his parents about Ira 2. They don't believe him, because Not Actually Goosebumps But Still Goosebumps Parents. He goes to his room to show them, but Ira 2 hides in the closet, making the original look worse. The next day, Ira Prime has Ira 2 go to school for him so he can goof off at home. But after a while he realizes that maybe leaving his clone unattended is actually a really dumb idea, so he heads to school. He sneaks into the supply closet and manages to see Ira 2 writing on the chalkboard, but writing the wrong math answers. You know, you did kind of jerk around your clone, Ira Prime, so this is on you.

Ira 2 continues to make the original look bad. He... GASP!... hangs around with the girls, then plays softball badly, despite Ira Prime claiming to be a great player. Then when the clone gets home, he watches cartoons instead of MTV, which is Prime's favorite channel. I mean... at least it's 2000 MTV? There's at least music. But hey, 2000 was a great year for cartoons. Ira Prime confronts his clone and threatens him, which really seems like a dumb idea. Know what else is a dumb idea? Going to his room and using the camera box again, thinking it'll delete the clone. But, nothing seems to happen. 

Ira Prime runs out of his house to find help, and heads to his friend Andy Brooks' house. But when he gets there, he's seeing double. Four Andys! I mean two Andys! But then Ira Prime is like, "oh right, his twin brother Randy." Oh, if the other was named Ollie, I might have screamed. Ira Prime asks the twins what it's like to have an identical twin, to which they mostly say it's alright, but also that it kind of sucks too. The twins fight for a while until Ira Prime heads home. At first, there's no sign of Ira 2. In fact, things seem cool. That is until he does find Ira 2... and Ira 3. Yep. The camera thing is essentially a Mr. Meeseeks box. The clones get along well with each other and Ira Prime still tries to hide them from Zack, but that doesn't work too well as Zack eventually sees the clones playing softball. But Ira Prime manages to make Zack think he needs glasses. 

The clones disappear again, now making Ira Prime even more worried about if anyone will see his clones, and what damage those clones could do. Sure enough, one of the clones went to his friend Mark's house. Then they went to the candy shop where they didn't pay the clerk, meaning Ira Prime has to shill it out. He finds the clones, then heads home, only to get caught by his friend Scotty. But Ira Prime tries to tell him that they're just cousins. Three identical cousins. That at least works long enough for the three to make a break for it.

Ira Prime gets his clones back into his room and tells them that they have to go. Since the box has a red button, it must be the button to erase the clones. The three scuffle over the box, making a mess before Ira Prime grabs it in time and presses the red button. The two clones vanish just as Ira Prime's mom enters the room and sees the mess. 

TWIST ENDING

Ira manages to restore his life to normal and all seems good. That is until he learns the family is visiting Aunt Melba. Ira uses the clone box and makes a copy of himself and instructs him to go to Aunt Melba's for him while he goofs off. Everything's going to be just fine, despite, you know, the last clone tried to ruin his life and all. 

CONCLUSION

Three Faces of Me is alright. Definitely has that feeling of a Goosebumps book, right down to the weak fake-out end stingers. Ira is an okay protagonist. Not super incredible, but does the job as the original version of himself who has to deal with dual doppelgangers. The clones are decent for antagonists. Though given Ira Prime's treatment of them, they are in the right to ruin his life. Maybe having that contingency of knowing that if they get erased, the original will take all the blame. So, semi-sympathetic villains is something fresh.

I like the concept of the clone box. Not anything super complicated, just press the button and make a copy. So, my statement of it feeling like what the Meeseeks box from Rick and Morty definitely seems like the correct thought. Though these clones don't want to be helpful. Scares are virtually nonexistent here, but that's not an issue if the story flows well enough. Twist is also just okay, giving the idea that Ira at least has a handle of the clone box and maybe how to use the clones properly, but still giving that sense that this is still a big mistake. In the end, this one is fine. Super short at 88 pages and is a breeze to read through. Light enough for a recommend. Accept no substitutes, Three Faces of Me gets a B. 

Since I last covered this book, there has been some information dug up about it. The fact that it's actually a rerelease of an older standalone book by Stine. 

In 1990, Stine wrote the book The Amazing Adventure of Me, Myself and I, while still under the name of Jovial Bob Stine. The book appears to be exactly the same as the original book, right down to the protagonist also being named Ira Fishman. It's still two clones, the device is still a weird camera from a capsule machine. It's all there. It also probably explains the lack of any real horror element to the story, especially given how the cover is the least creepy cover for a Stine book ever. So, yeah. First book of the Un-Bumped six we've covered, the one about clones, is itself a clone. Can't say it isn't fitting.

(Thanks to @Spongey445 as usual for this discovery)