I guess there's gnome way out of this one. This wasn't a book I was super fond of last time reading it, mostly due to the fact that it just felt like the dummy formula only with lawn gnomes. So I'm definitely curious to see if that opinion changes on this second go-around. And the only way to know if that'll happen is by covering the next book in the original 62, Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes.
REVENGE OF THE LAWN GNOMES
RELEASE MONTH: August, 1995
FRONT TAGLINE: Keep off their grass!
COVER STORY
This one never scared me. I know. Skeletons scare me but lawn gnomes don't. I don't get it either. But the cover is still solid regardless. Great use of colors and shadows as usual. Nice use of the tacky lawn ornaments to really sell the whole garden aesthetic. And then there's the gnomes themselves who do at least look menacing. Or as menacing as you can be standing next to two lawn flamingoes and a plastic deer. Fun fact, the left gnome was originally going to be drawn picking his nose, but Scholastic was against it, so we get the more bizarre finger to forehead instead.
SOMEONE'S BEEN STALKING IN MY GARDEN!
Two pink flamingos. A whole family of plaster skunks. Joe Burton's dad loves those tacky lawn ornaments. But then he brings home two ugly lawn gnomes. And that's when the trouble starts.
Late at night. When everyone's asleep.
Someone's creeping in the garden. Whispering nasty things. Smashing melons. Squashing tomatoes.
No way two dumb old lawn ornaments could be causing all the trouble.
Is there?
STORY
It's summertime and Joe Burton and his younger sister Mindy are bored. A spirited ping pong game in the basement is interrupted however by Moose McCall, Joe's best friend. Moose, Joe's best friend, begins to strangle Joe, which concerns Mindy. But it was all a really, really disturbing joke. Whole lotta strangulations lately. What's going on, Stine? Their bizarre fun is halted when Buster, Joe's Labrador retriever, is in the McCall garden. You see, Joe and Mindy's dad and Moose's dad are competitive gardeners, often competing against one another in competitions. Joe uses his dog whistle to get Buster out of the garden.
Despite the near incident, Mr. McCall shows up and chastises the kids for having Buster in his garden. He's a former army general, which seems in itself like an odd disconnect that this angry former military man suddenly gained a fondness for the art of vegetable tending. Mr. Burton is the opposite of McCall in that he goes into a state of panic when he sees a fruit fly near his tomatoes. Joe, Mindy and Mr. Burton spray the tomatoes and after the great fruit fly fiasco of 1995 completes, Mr. Burton takes the kids to his favorite place, Lawn Lovely. A shop that offers gardening supplies and plenty of kitschy lawn ornaments. And I think Mr. Burton is in love with Lilah Anderson, the owner, but that's just my own speculation there.
Mr. Burton loves a lot of that stuff, but when he looks through the store, his attention really goes toward a pair of creepy looking lawn gnomes. Everyone else is repulsed by them, but he decides to take them anyway, calling them Hap and Chip (on account of his Lloyd Christmas-esque chipped tooth). We get some basic stuff early on that makes it clear these gnomes aren't all that inanimate. Joe thinks the gnome grabs him, but no one else sees it. Same with seeing them move. So, yeah, let's not even sugarcoat what the next batch of chapters are going to do. We're just redoing Night of the Living Dummy with gnomes.
Case in point when Mr. McCall's watermelons are ruined the next day. He blames it on Buster, who ends up chained to his doghouse, much to the frustration of Joe. But Joe spots a watermelon seed on one of the gnomes. Next day comes and now there's frowny faces painted on the other melons. Everyone blames Joe, thinking he did that because of Buster's punishment. He gets grounded for it. See what I mean by feeling similar to the dummy books? After thinking he sees the gnomes change expressions, he tries to tell his parents, but they don't believe him because Goosebumps parents. Next day, Mr. Burton's tomatoes get ruined, but Joe is unable to convince his dad, who thinks that it was Mr. McCall and we get the best part of the book hands down. These two trade barbs over their lackluster gardening skills and it's a fun bit. One I wish the book did a bit more of to cut from the treacle.
The next night, Joe sees the gnomes are missing. When he heads to the garden, he gets attacked by Moose who also noticed the missing gnomes. Their ruckus wakes their parents who see the gnomes back in their place. It must have just been the foggy weather. Joe and Moose see Mr. McCall's car has been covered in paint. They realize that they can't tell their parents that it was the gnomes, since they were caught outside the previous night.
Joe, Mindy and Moose soon learn that, sure enough, the gnomes are alive. The gnomes grab Mindy, but then tells them that they're not bad gnomes. They're mischief gnomes. The pranks they pulled is just part of their way of life. But deforesting sent them away from their home, so they ended up in Lawn Lovely. Not just Hap and Chip, but six more gnomes stuck in the basement of the shop. They ask the kids to help them, then they'll return to the forest. The three kids do so and head to the basement, only to see hundreds of gnomes. And they weren't lying about that mischief part, only they want to mess with the kids now. Even considering turning them into a ball to bounce, which I kind of wish happened just to see the logistics. As the gnomes attack, the kids see Buster and try to get his attention with the dog whistle. But Joe notices that the gnomes seem to have frozen in place. Back to being still lawn gnomes. This gives the three kids a chance to make a break for it.
TWIST ENDING
A few days later, Mr. Burton returns home form another trip to Lawn Lovely. He ends up bringing home another lawn ornament. A giant white lawn gorilla that winks at Joe. Okay then.
CONCLUSION
Feelings remain the same. Not a massive fan of this one. It feels like such a Goosebumps trope-a-rama. The fact that we had a similar book just three books earlier with Night of the Living Dummy II does not help its case. But honestly, I don't think it's the worst book ever. The concept of evil gnomes is at least fresh enough and there are some fun enough bits, mostly involving the neighbors and their garden war. Makes me wish there was more of that and less evil gnomes and retreaded tropes. Even the twist feels the same as we just end with another cursed lawn ornament to deal with.
My feelings do remain the same that I feel that if this was your first Goosebumps book, you would hold it in higher regard. That maybe its concept felt fun enough. But now that I've read even more of it this one feels even less creative knowing that this would be one of Stine's most notorious crutches for the series. Even Planet of the Lawn Gnomes, for how bizarre that book was, still felt more enjoyable to read through. With nothing super incredible to really set this one apart, it just leaves us with a book that just feels gnome good.
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