The Stinal Countdown: Goosebumps #32: The Barking Ghost

Time for another Goosebumps book I'm not that fond of. But some cases in this reread have seen positive outlooks, maybe we'll be lucky here. Or, I'm just barking up the wrong tree. Either way, it's time to tackle The Barking Ghost.

THE BARKING GHOST

RELEASE MONTH: June, 1995

FRONT TAGLINE: Bad dog. Really bad dog.

COVER STORY

I'm not super crazy about this cover. In terms of scariness, it is effective, particularly the menacing snarl and red eyes, but I don't know, the face kind of looks a bit goofy to me as well. I think it's how the ears are placed and how tiny the face looks on the dog's head. But I also really love the minimalist feel that does make the dog look ghostly. So, I'm conflicted I guess. Not a top cover, but nothing bad either. 

IT'S A DOG-GONE NIGHTMARE!

Scared of his own shadow. That's what everyone says about Cooper Holmes. But when the Holmeses move to a new house deep in the woods, scary things really do start happening. Problem is, no one believes a scaredy-cat like Cooper.

But then no one else heard the bone-chilling barking late at night. Or ran into two evil-looking dogs who disappeared into thin air...

STORY

Cooper Holmes is a coward. That's pretty much what we learn from the jump as we open our story. He's also not happy that he had to move to Maine with his parents. He mentions that the only two scary books he ever read were set in the woods of Maine. Well, that's why you're scared, kid. You're in a Stephen King book. At night, he hears noises outside. He gets scared by the sight of a bunny rabbit and goes to the bathroom to wipe off the sweat. I mean, the book's doing a great job establishing Cooper as a wuss. He sees a snake out the window and throws a softball at it to shut it up. But when he tries to get back to sleep, suddenly he starts to feel two hands wrap around his throat, strangling him. That would be his older brother Mickey, who loves to pick on Cooper with fun pranks like strangling his brother. His brother that he knows bruises easily. And don't worry, the Goosebumps parents blame both of them for this because... Cooper has a supple, strangle-able neck?

Cooper tries to wash his hands of the whole incident and tries to sleep, but can hear the sound of barking outside. It's not Mickey, but it does sound like a pair of dogs. However, there isn't anything outside either. The next day, Cooper, or "Super Cooper" as he calls himself, searches the woods for any sign of the dogs. Nothing shows up. However, he ventures so far into the woods that he gets lost, then gets scared by a falling leaf because it had been a few chapters since we were reminded that this kid is a major coward. But the leaf incident is cut short when a red haired girl sneaks up behind him and scares him. She introduces herself as Margaret Ferguson, or simply "Fergie". She mentions something about dogs, but when Cooper presses her for more answers, she runs off.

He catches up to her before she leaves and Fergie tells him that the woods are haunted and everyone is in grave danger. As Cooper heads for home, he gets chased by a pair of Labrador retrievers. But when he makes it back home to tell his dad, both of the dogs have vanished. That night, Mickey scares Cooper again and says that Cooper is making up the whole ghost dog story as some weak ploy for the family to move back to their old home. The next day, Cooper runs into Fergie again, but she makes a confession. The whole incident the day prior was Mickey's idea, as a way to scare Cooper some more. Cooper's annoyed, but when he mentions the dogs again, Fergie still has no idea what he's talking about. Then they see Mickey on the ground, covered in blood. But, of course, that's another classic Mickey prank. And then Cooper just bites Mickey in the arm out of frustration. What? Fergie leaves and before Cooper heads home, he looks in the nearby stream and thinks he sees the reflection of a pair of dogs.

The next day, Cooper heads to the kitchen for breakfast, but the two Labradors from earlier arrive and eat his food. But he's the only one who sees it happening, meaning the parents think he might need therapy. Like, I guess, but I'd say that given Mickey's constant harassment and Cooper's fear, that might be more of a reason for therapy than their son seeing ghost dogs, but that's just my thoughts. Later, both Cooper and Fergie try to get revenge on Mickey by sneaking in his closet to scare him. But they didn't count for Mickey being this master prankster who just scares them again. As Cooper and Fergie make it to the living room, they see the glowing eyes of the dogs again. But everyone else just thinks they're crazy.

Cooper and Fergie search for the dogs again and find them in the woods, leading them into a strange old shack. When they walk in however, the shack is revealed to not have a floor, so they fall with a thud. Then the dogs talk, because of course they do. They were humans many centuries ago, but a spell was placed on them which turned them into dogs. The shack is known as a "changing room" which causes whoever steps inside to switch bodies. And this means that Cooper and Fergie end up switching with the dogs. The dogs now take the kids human bodies while the kids are now dogs. Lot of kids are dogs in the past few books. 

Fortunately for Cooper and Fergie, they can communicate psychically. They find Cooper's dad and try to tell what happened, but all that comes out are barks. And of course, Cooper's dad never clues in to the fact that these might be the two dogs his son is going crazy over, because Goosebumps parents. They try writing a note, but they're dogs, so they can't do that. They then jump on the dinner table, but when that fails, they attack "Cooper" and "Fergie", chasing them back to the changing room.

TWIST ENDING

The four end up in the room again, but this time, the ghosts leave, still in the bodies. Cooper and Fergie then discover that they're now chipmunks. Fergie wonders what they can do now, but Cooper has already given up and tells her that they should start gathering acorns for winter. 

CONCLUSION

This is one that R.L. Stine doesn't like, and it's not hard to see why. It's one of those books where he clearly didn't know how to finish in any other way, so he just adds some body swap story to pad out the final few chapters. It's at least interesting, but it feels like it was something that should have existed in a different book. And given I have now read Little Pet Shop of Horrors from Bone Chillers, I know now that the concept of kids becoming dogs can work for some really uncomfortable horror. In the case of The Barking Ghost however, it feels like Stine never really put that much thought into the body swap idea as there are so many things that don't clue in. 

Why were the two ghost dogs turned into dogs? Were they criminals, or doomed by someone evil? In the episode it's revealed they were crooks, so that at least makes sense, but Stine never adds that important point to make it make sense. If this happened centuries ago, why has it taken until now and until Cooper and Fergie to lure them into this change room? And if anything that goes in can be switched, how has something like the chipmunk incident not happened before? How the hell does this weird shack even exist? There's so many things left unanswered, it's no surprise that you can tell that Stine just gave up on this book, yet pushed it out regardless to make monthly quota. And given his ghost stories are usually good, that's just a shame. 

Cooper's an okay protagonist, nothing incredible, but his super cowardice is at least a trait for most of the early parts of the book. The story feels like it moves at a solid pace until Stine loses control. And the twist is okay, but one done better in other books. Overall, it's such a shame that this book fell apart like it did, because a story about a ghost dog could work. At least Stine redeemed himself a bit with When the Ghost Dog Howls in HorrorLand. As for this one, it's sadly all bark and no bite.

STORY: G.5

SCARES: GG.5

TWIST: GGG

ENJOYMENT: G.5

OVERALL: 2 Gs