The Stinal Countdown: Goosebumps SlappyWorld #2: Attack of the Jack!

It's been a while since I've delved into the depths of SlappyWorld, so let's continue with the second outing. A plus to SlappyWorld is that thankfully not all books are Living Dummy related. We do get Slappy in each book via the wraparounds and interruptions, but even Jovial Bob knew when to show restraint when it came to his cash cow. So, the first non-Slappy SlappyWorld book, how does it fare? Let's find out with Attack of the Jack! (sadly, no O'Lanterns.) 

This cover is just okay. Feels a bit more dynamic than some of the later Dorman covers can get, but I can't say it's a cover that's all that creepy, or a cover that feels memorable. It's just a pirate. That's all. A well detailed pirate, but a pirate regardless. Yeah, I don't got much else to say on this one. I hope that isn't a warning of the book to come. 

We open with the Slappy wraparound. Some basic jokes about dummies and how you shouldn't call him a dummy, dummy! He tells us that the protagonists of this story, Violet and Shawn Packer, are about to come sail away on the worst trip of their lives. 

Violet Packer and her ten year old brother Shawn are headed to the New England village of Sea Urchin Cove to spend the summer with their uncle Jim at his lighthouse. Violet and Shawn tend to get along pretty well, which means we're spared the annoying sibling trope for this one, so points for this book already. While waiting for their uncle, the kids get something to eat at a little place called The Whistling Clam and talk to one of the workers named Marianne. However, when they mention their uncle, Jim Packer, Marianne panics, saying they don't want to be left alone with him because he has something evil in that lighthouse. 

The kids soon arrive at the lighthouse where they find a large black cat. A large black cat that calls to Uncle Jim in English. They meet the old admiral, who indeed has taught his cat Celeste how to speak English. After settling into his home, he tells the kids of how the cat can talk. He tells the story of one of his crewmates, a man named Danny Lubbins, who went overboard and got lost at sea on a tiny raft. A tiny raft that just so happened to have a black cat on it. Stuck on a tiny raft for over three hundred days with a black cat, he passed the time by teaching the cat how to talk. After three hundred days, the raft made it to shore. The cat made it off alive, but Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes were calling. However, there's talk among the villagers that Danny's ghost is still roaming, and will return for his cat.

He talks about going to sea with one of Blackbeard's great great great grandkids, Johnny Feathers and how a mistake with a cannonball blew his head clean off, then shows the kids a treasure chest filled with gold and diamonds. But he tells them that this is all just fake treasure from a movie set. He tells the kids they're free to look around, but, of course, there's a room in the house with a lock on it that they're forbidden to look inside. So, a day later, they look inside. Violet and Shawn manage to just open the door as the lock was flimsy, but only find a treasure chest inside. They find the key, and after worrying about if Celeste will tell on them, they open the chest, but only find some jack-in-the-boxes. Still curious, they open the boxes, which reveal different sailor and pirate dolls inside. They make it to one final box that seems tricky to open, until it explodes on them. Out from the box is a tiny pirate who calls himself Captain Jack the Knife. Okay, a reference to ol' Macheath, babe? Stine, you madman. 

Jack the Knife keeps talking about a Jack Attack, and now I just want to play some You Don't Know Jack. But sadly no irreverent trivia here as he and the other dolls begin to grow to human size. This includes a sailor with two heads named Salty and Pepper Magee, a chimp named Chuckles and a female sailor named Mad Madeline who constantly mentions animals whenever she speaks. Violet and Shawn call for their uncle, only to learn that in freeing Jack the Knife, Uncle Jim was turned into a jack-in-the-box doll. The kids make a run for it, but soon discover that the entire world seems to have changed as well and sitting at the dock is a giant pirate ship. Cornered by Jack's crew, Violet and Shawn agree to do what they say if it means Uncle Jim will be saved. He tasks them with sailing to Clam Island to rescue Captain Pip, his canary. Violet and Shawn are no sailors, so Captain Jack has his crew come with them. If they find Captain Pip, he'll fix everything, pirate's honor. The ship sails off, and Violet can hear Celeste the cat in the wind saying "don't go". 

And the cat has a good point because nobody actually knows how to get to Clam Island, especially Jack's crew, with Salty and Pepper arguing, Mad Madeline saying to follow the moon and Chuckles the chimp steering the ship. Shawn finds a map, but Salty and Pepper fight over it, causing the map to fly overboard. Thankfully Shawn memorized the map, so they finally get on course, only for the ship to soon spring a leak. They head for the one lifeboat, but Chuckles the chimp gets to it before the others and sails away. The ship begins to collapse and Violet and Shawn fear they're done for, but Salty and Pepper manage to save them on a piece of deck that's become a makeshift raft. They continue to sail, the two-headed sailor still arguing with each other, until Mad Madeline literally pulls out a gun. No, not to end any lives, but to fire a flare. But the gun's wet, so that was a big waste of time.

After a shark attack that just doesn't actually happen, the raft is caught in the net of another pirate ship, this one belonging to a pirate captain named Captain Billy Bottoms. He decides to take the crew to his banana fields to pick bananas forever. They arrive on the island, but the group soon try to make a run for it, soon hiding in a pile of bananas. Bananas with tarantulas, so that becomes an issue. But everyone again makes a run for it. They run into some girls who tell the crew that this island is conveniently Clam Island. They find Captain Pip the canary and grab it, then just steal Billy Bottoms' ship and head back to Captain Jack. However, he tells them that this isn't Captain Pip. He decides to keep the canary anyway. Oh, and he's not changing Uncle Jim back since a pirate's promise is worth squat. He begins to turn Violet and Shawn into jack-in-the-box dolls...

when the ghost of Danny Lubbins arrives, here for his cat. The pirates, afraid of ghosts, begin to scream in horror until they all disappear. Uncle Jim turns back to normal and Danny leaves with Celeste. 

This book was okay. Nothing super incredible, and probably going to be a book I barely remember long after reading it, but for a pirate adventure/evil toys story, it did what it needed to do. I do like the villains in this one, though while Jack the Knife really doesn't have much of a character to him, I do like Salty and Pepper and Mad Madeline, who make for good crazed antagonists who also are oddly loyal. At least given they're in the same plight as Violet and Shawn. As for our protagonists, they're really cookie cutter with no real interesting traits to them. They just exist within this crazy adventure with talking cats and pirate dolls. I will say this book has a lot of filler in it, particularly the Billy Bottoms stuff with the banana plantation, but the book does have some strong scenes like the sinking pirate ship and the escape from the plantation, so it never felt too boring. Solid pacing saves this one from being too bland. I'll give this one a light recommend. Not a book that will stay with you, but one that doesn't deserve to walk the plank.

STORY: GG.5

SCARES: G.5

TWIST: GG

ENJOYMENT: GG.5

OVERALL: 2.5 Gs

And speaking of planks, it's a Slappy book next.