The Stinal Countdown: Goosebumps HorrorLand #18: Slappy New Year!

We're officially at the penultimate Goosebumps book in the HorrorLand series. And what a surprise! Because of course we couldn't escape him, Slappy's come back to us once more. This time however, we have a HorrorLand book with some history behind it. Way back in 2000, when Stine was preparing to revive the Goosebumps license with Goosebumps Gold, one of the books that was planned was a book called Slappy New Year! Well, it took Stine over a decade to get to it, but was the wait worth it? Let's see for ourselves as we celebrate a Slappy New Year!

COVER STORY

I've stated before that I'm not a fan of Brandon Dorman's Slappy design. From how the hair looks to the face in general, It just doesn't invoke the same level of creepiness that Jacobus gave us. And I know that's not fair to compare everything to what Tim Jacobus brought to the table, but I think given the impact of those covers, that this version of Slappy is deserving of that criticism. Other than that, I like the festive look of the cover with all the balloons and the banner, but Slappy being front and center, taking up so much space kinda ruins it. So in this case, I'm kinda conflicted.

STORY

PART 1

Our protagonist this time is Ray Gordon. Now I want you to remember that name for when we get to another book later in the Most Wanted series. Ray is a smaller, weaker looking kid compared to his nine year old brother Brandon who, going by the description, has to be on steroids with how big and muscular he is. But despite his stocky exterior, Brandon is afraid of everything, meaning that even if Ray wants to enjoy something violent or above the G-rating, he can't while Brandon is around. So, this of course means that his trip to HorrorLand is also not going well. The two run into a horror that tells R.L. Stine joke book level jokes, that don't get much of a reaction. The horror then tells the kids where they can have some real screams. Brandon, who is so scared of HorrorLand that he doesn't want to take part in any of the rides, has a bad feeling about this, but Ray is just ready to try anything at this point.

The horror takes them to a fenced in area with a TESTING AREA sign on the wall. He leads them to a car ride known as The Shocker, to which I can make a lewd joke, but nah. The cars only have a gas pedal and no brakes, which bothers Brandon like everything else has. Suddenly Ray swerves into another lane, which causes a large jolt of electricity to shock him, hence the title of the ride. This continues to happen and Ray continues to get zapped. The kids get out of the car, giving Ray enough time to scare Brandon by pretending to be seriously hurt due to electrical shock, like all good protagonists would. 

As the kids recover, they're greeted by a man covered in mirrors named Seymour Winn-Doe, who tells them that there's an even better attraction, and leads them into a dark room. Okay, Jovial Bob, we get it, stranger danger. The lights in the room come up and it's a hall of mirrors. However, the brothers soon realize that only their reflections are showing, the two of them are invisible. As they panic, they see their reflections laughing in an evil manner. The lights are turned on brighter and the kids notice they're visible again. They try to tell Winn-Doe, but he doesn't believe them. When he tells them to go back in and show him for real, Ray and Brandon make a run for it. They eventually find the perfect hiding spot: Chiller House. The kids notice stuff like a coffin making kit and a snake candy dispenser, but Ray notices something more interesting, a ventriloquist dummy. 

Ray examines the dummy who then insults him. It's soon revealed that the dummy was being controlled by Jonathan Chiller. He tells the kids that the dummy is named Slappy. No, we don't have an explanation as to why he's back here since we ended the first HorrorLand arc with him in the possession of Lizzy Morris, but what do you expect? Ray is really excited about Slappy, while Brandon is, as expected, scared of him, begging Ray to not take him. Regardless, Ray takes Slappy. You know the drill, little horror doll, no payment, Ray will pay when he returns to HorrorLand. The kids head back to the hotel, when Brandon notices Slappy move his head and tell Brandon that he'll be sorry. 

PART 2

The HorrorLand trip is cut short due to Brandon being scared of everything. It's a Saturday and Ray's up early enough to scare Brandon with Slappy, screaming "Kill! Kill! Kill!". Brandon tells on Ray, which is bad for Ray given that he's trying to host a New Year's party with his friend Elena Shear for his entire class. Is that a thing? Do kids throw New Year's parties, or did R.L. Stine just watch Happy New Year Charlie Brown and get inspired? His parents are thinking of cancelling it, but will let Ray keep it up so long as he behaves. This doesn't mean reading War and Peace, but he has to abide by some New Year's resolutions, namely to stop picking on Brandon, help out more around the house, and clean up his many different collections. Yeah, Ray's a bit of a mini-hoarder with his collections. 

Brandon asks Ray nicely to get rid of Slappy, but Ray has no intentions. The kids hear a scream. Brandon thinks it's Slappy, but it's only Bobo, the neighbor's cat. Elena arrives to talk about Christmas presents and setting up the basement for the party. She notices Slappy, and much like everyone else, thinks he looks pretty ugly. As they debate cleaning Slappy's clothes, both the horror figurine and a piece of paper are found in Slappy's pocket. It's of course, the words to awaken Slappy. She begins to read them, when Brandon snatches the paper, afraid of the obvious killer doll issue should this come to fruition. They instead just make Slappy move on his own to scare the kid off. 

Ray's mom is pissed, but he says that he promises that this was the last time and that he'll stick to the resolutions. After everyone leaves, Ray begins to read the card again, but is stopped once more. The next day, he and his dad are working on the basement for the party when suddenly Brandon screams. He runs up and sees that his mom's is once again angry because Brandon's room has been trashed. Ray gets blamed, but says that he didn't do it, when he notices Slappy in the room with paint over him. Welp, my hopes of a trend bucking Slappy book already seem dashed.

Ray doesn't try to explain why Slappy's there, he just takes responsibility and cleans the room, promising to stop scaring Brandon with Slappy. The next day, Elena and Ray work on the decorations some more, when Brandon screams. This time Slappy is in his room again and poured maple syrup in his dresser. Same situation with mom being pissed. She grounds Ray and almost cancels the party, but opts to give him one more chance. At this point even Elena doesn't believe Ray when he claims innocence. Ray is also now convinced that Slappy's alive. As he tries to sleep, he's awakened with Slappy suddenly in his face. It doesn't take long for Ray to realize that it was Brandon all along. Good deduction, Poirot. Brandon cops to everything, saying he told Ray to get rid of Slappy, and that he's been scaring him out of revenge for going home early. Ray promises to not tell on Brandon, then does the dumbest thing possible, read the note and bring Slappy to life. 

The next day, the Gordons go over to the Shear family's house for a Christmas party, but Slappy tagged along. Both Brandon and Ray argue about who brought him, but everyone is quickly invited inside. And you know where we're going. You know EXACTLY where we're going. It's that part of the book where the dummy is now alive and is brought over to entertain people. You know EXACTLY where this is going and sure enough, it's EXACTLY where we are. Ray is asked to entertain with Slappy, Slappy hurls worse and worse insults at people, Ray is blamed for it. Dad is pissed and tries to grab Slappy from Ray, but the dummy straight up cold cocks him, knocking him out on the floor. Well, at least he didn't puke anything. As everyone motions around Mr. Gordon, Slappy leaps from Ray's hands and goes to the Christmas tree. Ray wrestles with him, knocking down the tree. 

Everyone is, obviously, ready to murder Ray. Christmas is ruined, and the New Year's Party is pretty much done for as well. I guess this party was missing a red nosed reindeer as Slappy grabs at Ray's nose, almost breaking it and causing it to bleed. No one believes him and, like these stories do, everyone makes assumptions of his mental health, which I think might be the x factor as to why I don't like the stock Slappy books. The general "you're crazy! You should be locked up" mentality. Maybe in 1993 or, in the case of this book even, 2010, this felt innocuous, but now with how much we've opened on mental health, this doesn't feel like something we need to tread constantly. 

Ray locks Slappy in his closet, but he can hear the dummy call to him, calling him his slave. The next day, Ray tries to do some snowboarding when he runs into Elena and tries to apologize. She still thinks he's not well. He returns home when we get some filler of a guy that Ray thinks is coming to pick up Slappy, but is just looking for his lost dog. After he leaves, Slappy awakens and tells Ray that he's his slave before then throwing a vase at Ray that breaks just as the parents come home and think Ray did it again. 25 more pages at least.

The next day, Slappy is locked in the garage as Brandon and Ray go to do chores. When they open the garage, Slappy greets them with a pair of hedge clippers, ready to decapitate them. Brandon, in an act of bravery, slaps away the clippers and grabs Slappy, ready to throw him into a garbage truck. However, Slappy breaks free and grabs Ray, throwing him into the back of the truck. Brandon stops Slappy in time and the two start wrestling. The brothers overwhelm Slappy and throw him intro the truck, hoping to pull a Casey Jones on him. Apparently this is enough for the parents, and even Elena, to put the New Year's party back in motion.

The party goes on and all seems well until laughter can be heard from the stairs. It's Slappy, clothes torn, shoes missing and covered in trash. He starts hurling paint cans at everyone, who are panicked over the living dummy causing mayhem. Elena slips in paint, the rest of the kids scramble to escape, but the door's locked. Brandon leaps at Slappy, but the dummy dodges, causing Brandon to smash his head on the pavement. The two recover as the other kids escape. Ray and Brandon then push a stack of paint cans on Slappy, hoping to finish him off. It does for a moment, but the dummy recovers, grabbing Ray by the throat. Ray manages to pull the paper out of Slappy's pocket and gets Brandon to read it, but it's covered in paint. Ray manages to escape and can see the words well enough. He reads them and sure enough, Slappy falls back to sleep.

TWIST ENDING & EPILOGUE

Ray and Brandon's parents arrive and are bothered by all the mess, but surprisingly don't punish them. The next day after cleaning the basement, Ray is about to leave, when his mother mentions that they should keep Slappy. Ray is against it, but she's fine with it. Though she was confused about the paper with the hard to pronounce words. Ray asks and hopes his mother didn't read them aloud.

Ray goes to his room to double check that Slappy isn't alive. He sees no sign of the dummy. But before he can do anything else, the room glows and he is once again brought to Chiller House where Jonathan Chiller tells him that now the game can begin.

CONCLUSION

Slappy New Year isn't the worst of the Dummy books, particularly the ones that stick to the tropes. There are a few good scenes like the battle with the dump truck and the finale, which is way too rushed. But you know what you're getting with these at this point. You know the initial stuff with Slappy moving on his own, only to be a prank. You know he'll be awakened by the paper. You know the pranks he'll pull. Honestly, this does reek of a book Stine had planned ten years ago, as it feels like it suffers from the same tropes as the ones from that era. Especially how this is another book that kinda mocks mental health. I get you need it for this story to live, but it just feels really rough in 2020 hindsight. There isn't much else to really critique. Ray and Brandon are fine, I wish Elena had more of a role, and the twist again packs no punch due to the structure. I was hoping HorrorLand would impress with its second arc, and it really started trending downward fast. I know I shouldn't give you that chance again Stine, but let's see how you stick the landing with the finale. Slappy New Year gets a C+.