The Stinal Countdown: Goosebumps #8: The Girl Who Cried Monster

Time once again for another Goosebumps book that I recall not being too big a fan of in my initial run of books. In fact, I recall really skimming through it back then. Will a fresher read finally change my opinion, or will this book be left in the (Lucy) dark? Let's find out with The Girl Who Cried Monster.

THE GIRL WHO CRIED MONSTER

RELEASE MONTH: May, 1993

FRONT TAGLINE: She's got the monster of all problems!

COVER STORY

I'm torn on this one. For one thing, I love the use of colors with their purple hue signifying darkness, and the detail on Mr. Mortman is really good. Giving us a creepy vibe of the guy without really showing him in his monster form. his large hand pawing the turtle glass while he stares  at the fly in his hand in an almost perverse reaction. Also, Lucy's horrified expression actually works for the cover. It just doesn't stand out among some of the really amazing covers so far, but it does what it needs to do. I guess if you have a fear of Jason Alexander, this cover might scare you good. Otherwise, it's a low score scarer.

SHE'S TELLING THE TRUTH... BUT NO ONE BELIEVES HER!

Lucy likes to tell monster stories. She's told so many that her friends and family are sick of it. 

Then one day, Lucy discovers a real, live monster: the librarian in charge of the summer reading program.

Too bad Lucy told all those tall tales

Too bad no one believes a word she says.

Too bad the monster knows who she is...

And is coming after her next!

STORY

Lucy Dark is our protagonist. She has a tendency of constantly telling monster stories, particularly to her little brother Randy. Be it stories of a toe-biter, or a monster in the tree. And not just her brother, but really anyone, including her friend Aaron Messer. Lucy does this so much that her parents are even sick of her monster stories. It's summertime and to at least give her something to do all summer, Lucy is in the Reading Rangers program. It's a program run by the town librarian Mr. Mortman where kids have to read classic books and give reports to him. Lucy isn't the biggest fan of this, but what else has she got to do this summer? 

The town library is actually running from an old house where Mr. Mortman now resides. Mr. Mortman seems like a nice guy, but the kids all find him creepy due to his bald head and hands that always appear to be wet. Lucy gives Mr. Mortman a quick summary of Huckleberry Finn, though she read very little of it. Time passes and it's closing time at the library. Lucy is about to leave, but almost forgets her rollerblades. She heads back to the main room of the now dark library to get them, but then hears Mr. Mortman humming. She finds him and spies as he holds a jar of flies. But more shockingly, he begins to change. His head swells up like a balloon and his eyes begin to bulge. He takes some flies from the jar and begins to eat them. Lucy is freaked out, obviously, and runs out of the library to head home... only she forgot her rollerblades AGAIN, so she has to go get them once more. But the door is locked, so tomorrow it is.

Lucy tries to tell her parents about Mr. Mortman, but, of course, they don't believe her because... well, this really isn't a case of because Goosebumps parents, more because of Lucy's constant tall tales. Lucy begins to doubt if she actually saw Mr. Mortman transform into a monster, and decides to once again stay at the library until after closing time to make sure. Sure enough, Mr. Mortman transforms yet again, only now instead of just eating flies, he eats one of the turtles he keeps on his desk. Lucy's seen enough and runs the first chance she gets. She makes it to the door, then panics when it's locked... on the inside, so she manages to get out regardless. She tries to get Aaron to believe her, but he doesn't. Upon making it back home, she sees her parents aren't home and just left their youngest son home alone. God I miss 90s not giving a crap parents.

Suddenly, someone arrives at the door. It's Mr. Mortman. Lucy tries her best to poker face herself out of possibly raising the ire of a monster, but it turns out he just came over to give her back her backpack. Her parents arrive and Mr. Mortman makes his leave. Lucy tries again to get them to believe her, but lather, rinse, repeat. Not giving up, she tries again to catch Mr. Mortman, but this time with the help of Aaron. Unfortunately her plans hit a snag when he has a dentist's appointment. But she's undeterred, this time taking her camera with her to get a picture. You know the drill by know, she waits in the library until closing time, Mr. Mortman transforms again. She takes the picture, causing Mortman to panic. But before he can find who snapped the shot, the phone rings and this distracts him long enough for Lucy to amscray. 

Cut to the next day at the mall as Lucy is getting her picture developed, and thinking about how everyone will reward her with gifts and apologize for how much they doubted her. Unfortunately those apologies will have to wait, as the picture comes off showing Mortman's desk, but no Mortman. Her next plan, as she's already dug deep enough as it is, is to have Aaron help her get proof from Mr. Mortman's house. She spies on him, seeing him now eating snails and an eel from his aquarium. She goes to find Aaron, who darted off to find a ladder, and soon gets caught by Mr. Mortman. He just says that he thought she might have been a burglar or something and lets her go. Unfortunately, Aaron didn't see him transform, so still no proof. So, where else, but back to the library!

Lucy waits once again for everyone to leave, but this time, Mortman locks the door before Lucy can leave. He finally reveals that he knows she's seen his monster form. Before he can do anything to her, Lucy knocks over a card catalog and Mortman, more librarian than beast, focuses on that instead, allowing Lucy the chance to run away. She escapes the library and runs into Aaron, who saw everything. The two relay the info to Lucy's parents, who say they'll settle this once and for all.

TWIST ENDING

The Dark family invite Mr. Mortman to their house. He wonders what's for dinner and Mr. Dark tells him that he is. Suddenly the Dark parents turn into monsters and start devouring him whole, much to the glee of Randy and Lucy. After finishing Mortman off, they tell Lucy that because her family are the only monsters in town, they can't have any other monsters on their turf. Lucy and Randy are excited about the day they'll get their fangs. So, fitting of the family name, this is definitely a Dark ending.

CONCLUSION

The Girl Who Cried Monster is a frustrating book, because there is a lot of good within it. The Mr. Mortman transformations, as well as the detail given to how he eats the turtles, flies and other creatures is really well detailed and does drum up nightmarish images. And there is some sense of tension with Lucy's constant stakeouts to get proof. The problem of course is that the book just keeps ending up right back at the library. Four times we get her in the library, with the second really feeling like filler. And while the book is called The Girl Who Cried Monster and the conflict hinges on Lucy not being believed, there's a big problem in making that conflict enthralling. And that is that Goosebumps parents never believe their kids when there's some sort of strange happening or evil presence. So, going into this one after so many cases doesn't exactly scream fun. 

But I think what makes the book work, especially after thinking about it with this re-read, is that we're not following a good person. Lucy is probably the worst protagonist so far not just in her constant tall tales and such, but the fact that she is literally a monster, knows she's a monster, and her intents to reveal Mr. Mortman's true form are out of her own selfishness and need to be validated. For all intents and purposes, wet hands aside, Mr. Mortman isn't a bad person, or even a bad monster. He hides himself in the library and instead of feeding on people, he eats turtles and flies. Granted, Stine wanted to have him eat a kid but Scholastic said no on that. Mortman just comes off as a kindly being who is really invested in kids finding the joy of reading. Even when he confronts Lucy in the library, he seems sympathetic. He doesn't really want to hurt her, but she's left him no alternative. It leaves us with his unfortunate and very undeserving fate.

I find it hard not to go into this book and think about how if you shift the metaphors around from monster to someone who may be LGBT and has to hide it as best they can for fear of losing everything due to general bigotry, and having their life destroyed by one kid who wants to out them, for the sole reason of being vindicated and being spoiled. And as such  that the twist ends up working in a really depressing way. Monsters destroying an innocent monster for the crime of living humbly in their turf. So in a way, it works to make a really decent, and somewhat depressing book. And I think because of that, looking at the book in that angle, my opinion's changed on it. It's not the most enjoyable book, but I think that's the point. With a book that works in tension and its twist, this is definitely a monster read.

STORY: GGG.5

SCARES: GGGG

TWIST: GGG

ENJOYMENT: GGG

OVERALL: 3.5 Gs