It's time for another ghoulish goulash of Goosebumps goodness. Or this will probably be another book with a bad ass cover and a lame story within? Let's roll that dice with Attack of the Graveyard Ghouls.
COVER STORY
STORY
Spencer Kassimir is a boy who lives in the town of Highgrave. Why is it called Highgrave? Well, because there's a big, creepy graveyard high up in the hills that oversees the town, duh! Spencer knows this well because he can even see the graveyard from his bedroom window and at night it seems almost as if the graves are floating. He talks about his younger siblings Jason, Remy and Charlotte and how they're also afraid of the graveyard. And also how there's stories about how the dead, not comfortable resting atop such a high place, are restless and are known to rise from their grave. The teacher, Mrs. Webster, gives props to Spencer's excellent writing, and even Spencer's friend Audra applauds. But Frank and Buddy, the book's bullies, mock Spencer for his work and act like jokers. And Spencer, being a moron, thinks that means that Spencer and Buddy are so cool. I wish I could be a cool bully like Frank and Buddy. Screw being a writer! Why does that feel like Stine's not-so-subtle scream for help? Mrs. Spencer also suggests a field trip to the graveyard.
We get a thrilling two pages about Jason asking his dad about metamorphosis, which makes me realize I haven't done much RetroMorphs blogs lately. The next day, the field trip occurs where the assignment is to make rubbings of the headstones. Spencer, who is wearing Jason's backpack because plot convenience. They also look at some plot convenient headstones. Including William Swift, a man hung in 1852, so the kids assume he must have been evil, because certainly no innocent men were ever hung. Then they see graves for Oswald and Martin Manse, two boys who died in the 1700s, and oh they must have been the good guys since they died as kids, unlike the guy who was hung.
Spencer looks around until he finds one headstone in particular. As he goes to show Audra, he, in comedic fashion, stumbles and bumps into the headstone, which immediately tumbles to the ground. Spencer hears a moan, and then notices that the stone also mentions that disturbing the rest of the dead will lead to bad things. Though going around and tracing on the headstones seems just as disrespectful, honestly. As Spencer gets up to leave with the class, he feels something grab his foot, only to then run off, hoping he'll never have to come back to this graveyard agai-OH RIGHT, HE FORGOT JASON'S BACKPACK.
Spencer and Audra head up to the graveyard and it's made more apparent that Spencer is a wuss. Scared of damn near everything. He finds the backpack, but thinks he hears someone breathing behind him, but it's not Audra. She's busy looking at a baby's grave. They're ready to leave, but now Spencer forgot his cap. This is going to be a thing in this one, huh? When he goes to grab it, he sees a head underneath it. When he tells Audra, the head disappears. Finally, it's revealed that, shocker of shockers, this was Frank and Buddy pranking them. Spencer, with no poker face at all, screams that he believes that there are real graveyard ghouls, which gives Frank and Buddy the idea to tie him up on a tall headstone, all while Audra runs off for help. The bullies leave Spencer all tied up, and while he tries to free himself, the tombstones begin to move and green mist begins to billow. Then he hears a voice, wanting his body. Okay settle down Stine, you're going into the creep zone agai... oh, as in spiritual possession. Okay.
Before Spencer can react, he feels his very soul being ripped out of his body, and sure enough his body's been replaced. Now possessed by the spirit of the graveyard ghoul who he disturbed. And before Spencer can react to that, his family and Audra show up to free him from the headstone. Or technically his body, since, you know. Spencer tries to get their attention, despite, you know, being dead. He even tries to lift the flashlight they brought, despite, you know, BEING DEAD. The family leave with the fake Spencer. He tries to follow, but the wind won't allow him. He almost ends up buried alive, but a falling tree wakes him. He then sees other bodies above the graves. The graveyard ghouls, meaning the legend was true. But they're not much help to Spencer as they inform him that unfortunately, he's still dead. The ghouls, including a man dressed in all black, tell him that besides the dead thing, his body was stolen by Oswald Manse, who shocker of shockers was actually evil. So that body's not coming back without a fight. The ghosts also dance, since this will kind of be important later.
So, what is Spencer's best chance to make it out? Why, possession of course. He sees a bunch of rats surround and eat a rabbit whole, so he possesses the rat. He escapes, but not before hearing a faint cry for help. After a couple chapters of worm eating and fighting other rats, he makes it to his house. But not before getting attacked by his cat Duke. The cat starts to bite him, but Spencer fights free and then possesses the cat. And since possession in this book means pushing the other soul out, it means chalk this up for another dead pet on the list of Jovial Bob's dead pet shop. So, this is kind of Stine's version of Animorphs now, only with less of the nightmare fuel morphing sequences, or as much of the tension. As his cat, Spencer tries to wake his family up, but of course all they hear are meows and they just kick his furry butt outside. But not before Spencer has the idea to try and write a note... despite having, you know, CAT PAWS BECAUSE HE'S A CAT.
He gets back in the house and confronts Oswald, who now looks even more dead in Spencer's body. Oswald gloats about how he'll find a stronger body, then destroy Spencer's, then locks Spencer in a cardboard carton. Spencer is trapped, until he sees a spider, so it's now time to swap that. So, what's the plan? To possess his brother Jason, of course. Because surely Jason, the child, will know how to get his body back easily. It works and he tries to warn his parents, but they don't believe him, because Goosebumps Parents. So, he goes outside for help, and in like five minutes, it's friggin' Raccoon City. Destroyed cars, fire, panic everywhere. There's literally a scene where Oswald steals a fireman's axe and swings it wildly and a cop almost shoots him. Intervention from Spencer saves the body, only for the ghoul to now go and burn the shed of Frank's family. More chaos, a massive blaze, and the ghoul promises that after he possesses Frank, he'll destroy Spencer's body.
As Frank fights with the ghoul, Spencer realizes that maybe Audra will help, so he goes to her house. But surprise, she's been possessed too. By Martin earlier on. It was Audra calling for help. Spencer manages to escape and head to the graveyard. He's almost possessed again, but the ghoul of Audra shows up. In the fracas, Spencer sees a grave with the words DEFEAT DEATH ONLY BY LIVING on it. He says the only way to get out of here is to possess something, and conveniently here comes a black lab. So it's Doggus Ex Machina. They exit the graveyard as they see Frank's house now completely in flames. So, instead of the bully getting simple comeuppance, his family loses everything? This book took one hell of a dark turn.
They make it back to Spencer's house as the Manses, still in the bodies of Audra and Spencer, break the door down and start smashing things with an ax. Spencer, still as Jason tries to again explain it to his parents, but these are the Goosebumpiest parents to ever Goosebumps parents as they're still dim. Audra tries to fight them off with dog bites, but that doesn't pan out as the pair keep smashing things up. In the midst of all this, Jason returns and tries to force Spencer out of his body, taking it back through some form of dance. Which is enough to clue the kids in that dancing will do the trick So, Jason dances, and picks Audra up, having her dance, and that's enough to do the trick. Man, for all the massive build this book had, that's a lead balloon solution.
We get a thrilling two pages about Jason asking his dad about metamorphosis, which makes me realize I haven't done much RetroMorphs blogs lately. The next day, the field trip occurs where the assignment is to make rubbings of the headstones. Spencer, who is wearing Jason's backpack because plot convenience. They also look at some plot convenient headstones. Including William Swift, a man hung in 1852, so the kids assume he must have been evil, because certainly no innocent men were ever hung. Then they see graves for Oswald and Martin Manse, two boys who died in the 1700s, and oh they must have been the good guys since they died as kids, unlike the guy who was hung.
Spencer looks around until he finds one headstone in particular. As he goes to show Audra, he, in comedic fashion, stumbles and bumps into the headstone, which immediately tumbles to the ground. Spencer hears a moan, and then notices that the stone also mentions that disturbing the rest of the dead will lead to bad things. Though going around and tracing on the headstones seems just as disrespectful, honestly. As Spencer gets up to leave with the class, he feels something grab his foot, only to then run off, hoping he'll never have to come back to this graveyard agai-OH RIGHT, HE FORGOT JASON'S BACKPACK.
Spencer and Audra head up to the graveyard and it's made more apparent that Spencer is a wuss. Scared of damn near everything. He finds the backpack, but thinks he hears someone breathing behind him, but it's not Audra. She's busy looking at a baby's grave. They're ready to leave, but now Spencer forgot his cap. This is going to be a thing in this one, huh? When he goes to grab it, he sees a head underneath it. When he tells Audra, the head disappears. Finally, it's revealed that, shocker of shockers, this was Frank and Buddy pranking them. Spencer, with no poker face at all, screams that he believes that there are real graveyard ghouls, which gives Frank and Buddy the idea to tie him up on a tall headstone, all while Audra runs off for help. The bullies leave Spencer all tied up, and while he tries to free himself, the tombstones begin to move and green mist begins to billow. Then he hears a voice, wanting his body. Okay settle down Stine, you're going into the creep zone agai... oh, as in spiritual possession. Okay.
Before Spencer can react, he feels his very soul being ripped out of his body, and sure enough his body's been replaced. Now possessed by the spirit of the graveyard ghoul who he disturbed. And before Spencer can react to that, his family and Audra show up to free him from the headstone. Or technically his body, since, you know. Spencer tries to get their attention, despite, you know, being dead. He even tries to lift the flashlight they brought, despite, you know, BEING DEAD. The family leave with the fake Spencer. He tries to follow, but the wind won't allow him. He almost ends up buried alive, but a falling tree wakes him. He then sees other bodies above the graves. The graveyard ghouls, meaning the legend was true. But they're not much help to Spencer as they inform him that unfortunately, he's still dead. The ghouls, including a man dressed in all black, tell him that besides the dead thing, his body was stolen by Oswald Manse, who shocker of shockers was actually evil. So that body's not coming back without a fight. The ghosts also dance, since this will kind of be important later.
So, what is Spencer's best chance to make it out? Why, possession of course. He sees a bunch of rats surround and eat a rabbit whole, so he possesses the rat. He escapes, but not before hearing a faint cry for help. After a couple chapters of worm eating and fighting other rats, he makes it to his house. But not before getting attacked by his cat Duke. The cat starts to bite him, but Spencer fights free and then possesses the cat. And since possession in this book means pushing the other soul out, it means chalk this up for another dead pet on the list of Jovial Bob's dead pet shop. So, this is kind of Stine's version of Animorphs now, only with less of the nightmare fuel morphing sequences, or as much of the tension. As his cat, Spencer tries to wake his family up, but of course all they hear are meows and they just kick his furry butt outside. But not before Spencer has the idea to try and write a note... despite having, you know, CAT PAWS BECAUSE HE'S A CAT.
He gets back in the house and confronts Oswald, who now looks even more dead in Spencer's body. Oswald gloats about how he'll find a stronger body, then destroy Spencer's, then locks Spencer in a cardboard carton. Spencer is trapped, until he sees a spider, so it's now time to swap that. So, what's the plan? To possess his brother Jason, of course. Because surely Jason, the child, will know how to get his body back easily. It works and he tries to warn his parents, but they don't believe him, because Goosebumps Parents. So, he goes outside for help, and in like five minutes, it's friggin' Raccoon City. Destroyed cars, fire, panic everywhere. There's literally a scene where Oswald steals a fireman's axe and swings it wildly and a cop almost shoots him. Intervention from Spencer saves the body, only for the ghoul to now go and burn the shed of Frank's family. More chaos, a massive blaze, and the ghoul promises that after he possesses Frank, he'll destroy Spencer's body.
As Frank fights with the ghoul, Spencer realizes that maybe Audra will help, so he goes to her house. But surprise, she's been possessed too. By Martin earlier on. It was Audra calling for help. Spencer manages to escape and head to the graveyard. He's almost possessed again, but the ghoul of Audra shows up. In the fracas, Spencer sees a grave with the words DEFEAT DEATH ONLY BY LIVING on it. He says the only way to get out of here is to possess something, and conveniently here comes a black lab. So it's Doggus Ex Machina. They exit the graveyard as they see Frank's house now completely in flames. So, instead of the bully getting simple comeuppance, his family loses everything? This book took one hell of a dark turn.
They make it back to Spencer's house as the Manses, still in the bodies of Audra and Spencer, break the door down and start smashing things with an ax. Spencer, still as Jason tries to again explain it to his parents, but these are the Goosebumpiest parents to ever Goosebumps parents as they're still dim. Audra tries to fight them off with dog bites, but that doesn't pan out as the pair keep smashing things up. In the midst of all this, Jason returns and tries to force Spencer out of his body, taking it back through some form of dance. Which is enough to clue the kids in that dancing will do the trick So, Jason dances, and picks Audra up, having her dance, and that's enough to do the trick. Man, for all the massive build this book had, that's a lead balloon solution.
TWIST ENDING
CONCLUSION
So, in the end we have a book that promised ghouls, and suddenly Stine careened into a body swap story. I can't believe it. This is The Barking Ghost done almost right. The Barking Ghost had a similar template, but never felt like it went anywhere with it, making it feel like a waste of time overall. This builds on the concept of body snatching and keeps ramping up on it. I mean, this is a more interesting and crazy book, but still feels like it falls flat in the ending. But, once again it's an example of Series 2000 at least trying something crazy and for the most part succeeding. We still have 14 books to see if this trend continues, but for now Attack of the Graveyard Ghouls gets an A-.
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