It's been a while since we've gotten a real Halloween book with Goosebumps. Surprisingly, despite the obviousness of the holiday, the franchise to this point only used the holiday sparingly to this point. Two Haunted Mask books and Attack of the Jack O'lanterns. Can this fourth outing keep up the Halloween creeps? Let's find out with Headless Halloween.
Another well detailed cover from Jacobus which, while not super scary, still evokes some general creepiness with both the headless person and the bizarre monster mask/head that he's holding. Great use of coloring for the moonlight bouncing off the pumpkin patch, along with another really creepy Jacobus tree. I especially like the alien green glow emitting by the headless being. Overall, this cover is definitely the most intimidating rendition of It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown that I've ever seen.
Brandon Plush is my favorite type of Goosebumps protagonist, the annoying prankster that likes to scare everyone. From his little sister Maya, to his cousin Vinnie (sadly there is no Joe Pesci in this book), to a pair of kids that he babysits. He just can't get enough of traumatizing people with his many scary stories. Particularly the one about a ghost that ripped a young boy's head off. and he proceeds to reenact that headless ghostery until he gets caught by the parents of the two kids. But luckily for Brandon, he gets off scot-free. Oh boy, I can't wait to go through 100+ pages with this lad, I betcha. After scarring two kids for life, Brandon calls Cal, his best friend who is essentially described as being a bully who picks on other kids, and that makes him cool. Brandon suggests that they both go headless for Halloween.
At school the next day Brandon carries a beaker to the science lab which he then spills over his cousin Vinnie. He jokes that it's acid when it's really water. I just want to state for the record I am at page 16 by the point I'm typing this up and I want to see this kid get thrown through a locker face-first. This prank particularly angers a teacher named Mr. Benson, who is described as a muscle-bound giant with one earring. So, part of me thinks of Sinbad the Sailor from that Popeye short. He tells Brandon about the ol' "do unto others" rule, then has him clean the science lab. Brandon, being not only a bully but a spiteful bully, promises revenge.
After scaring his sister Maya again, he tells her that he plans on messing up Mr. Benson's house. She warns him that it's really scary and close to the ravine, a ten foot drop with jagged rocks below. Kids have tried to jump it, but it's never gone well. Brandon isn't worried, but thinks in hindsight that maybe he should have listened to her warning. Halloween comes and Brandon and Cal are ready to trash Benson's place, when they learn they have to take Vinnie, Maya and her friends trick-or-treating. And Brandon, being a wonderful human being, ditches three seven-year-old girls as he and Cal run off. Evan Ross? You are absolved, my boy. Somehow we have a less redeeming protagonist in Goosebumps.
However, getting rid of Vinnie is trickier as he continues to follow them. Brandon leads him to the old haunted house and then starts to run off, not before hearing Vinnie give a loud scream. The kids play "Headless Halloween" pranks on a bunch of trick-or-treaters and steal some candy before they head to Mr. Benson's house. After they see him leave, they start to enter, but not before his guard dogs scare them. They're tied up, so they can't attack them. They enter the house, notice a ton of beer cans, then plan to literally just break his TV and furniture. But suddenly the dogs break free and start chasing the kids. They head through the back door and are cornered by the ravine. With no option left, Brandon makes a leap for it, and, well...
Brandon manages to crawl out the other side of the ravine, but there's no sign of Cal. He walks through a dark forest until he makes it to a quiet street. No trick-or-treaters, it's pretty dark out, not much energy. He runs into a kid wearing the same mask he wore when he was pulling his "Headless Halloween" prank. The kid has no candy, but he is going to a party that will have some food. Brandon decides to come with, and the kid introduces himself as Norband. No alarms are going off in ol' Brandon's head, but he decides to just call the kid Norb. They enter the building, but it's pitch black. Oh wait, the party's downstairs. Downstairs are kids in costumes, including one in a skeleton costume named Max, who offers Brandon a donut. He starts to eat it, when suddenly he sees there are worms inside of it.
He throws it down, which greatly offends his weirdo hosts. They force feed him the worm donut, then make him bob for apples. But oh no! It's actually filled with roaches! And then, in case it hasn't already, things start to get frigging weird. The kids force Brandon to play Twister, and while he's on the floor, pretzeled with a vampire boy, all the kids in the game start morphing into snakes and wrap themselves on to him, suffocating him. He breaks free from the snakes and manage to plow through the group of kids and escape the house. But not long after running away, he begins to see bodies rise from the ground underneath him. He manages to escape the rising corpses as he makes it back to the ravine. As he starts to jump over, he notices a lifeless body in the ravine. He freaks out, thinking it might have been Cal, but upon closer inspection, it's his body. Norb and the other kids confirm it, Brandon didn't make it. He jumped the ravine, missed and died.
Brandon is in a panic, wanting to find any way to reverse this, but Norb says there's one way. He has to right his wrongs and help three people he scared tonight. Norb shoves Brandon over the ravine and says that he can have possession of his old body for one hour. He needs to do this in one hour or else. No real answer to the 'or else' yet since he and the other kids vanish. He runs into Cal... and the guard dogs. He takes the brunt of the punishment and tells Cal to run for it. Brandon gets messed up as the dogs tear into him, but he manages to distract them with candy long enough to run for it. So Cal is save #1, as Brandon makes it to the haunted house that he dumped Vinnie in. We get some stock bats before he hears Vinnie's voice. He goes to find him, but also runs into a massive ghost. He tries the headless trick to scare it, but it turns out the ghost can really pull his own head off. But it also got scared and runs away because... reasons? Brandon thinks he's in the clear until Vinnie tells him that was just the main ghost's pet.
Turns out we got some Monster House pre-Monster House as the whole haunted house is alive. Vinnie is unable to leave because of this, but Brandon thinks that maybe shining light will help, and it does. He manages to save Vinnie which is rescue #2. All that's left is Maya and her friends, who he sees being accosted by some bullies. He tries the Headless trick again, but it doesn't work on them. They try to force him up a tree...
When suddenly Brandon is out of his body again as he sees it go limp and scare everyone, including the bullies. He says that he's done it! He's done his three deeds. Norband shows up again and says that he was just kidding about bringing Brandon back to life. Then he pulls off his mask to reveal Brandon's face! Then... he pulls that mask off to reveal nothing at all. The ghost reveals he was dressing as Brandon for Halloween. The other kids reveal they're all headless too. Brandon accepts his death surprisingly well and decides "hell with it, let's spend the rest of Halloween scaring people." Nothing more fun than a protagonist that learns nothing.
Headless Halloween is okay, but has its share of problems. The top contender is obviously Brandon, who comes off as easily the most detestable Goosebumps protagonist we've ever dealt with. Coming in as a bully and, despite the actions of the book's latter half, coming out still the same bully. The book tries to give him some form of a redemption arc, but it still doesn't matter. He doesn't get rewarded with mortality for his good deeds and still chooses to be a terror. As for the book itself, it flows fine enough, and offers some legitimately creepy scenes, but the pacing overall feels like a real mess, causing the rest of the book to have this super rushed feeling. Not as breakneck as other books, but still to the point that you don't soak much of the craziness within. But it was still an easy enough book to plow through. So despite some good points, overall, it's a Halloween tale that doesn't have its head on straight. Headless Halloween gets a C.
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