A Case of the Bumps: Parson Brown

The snow has fallen once again. Earlier than last year as it feels like as soon as December rolled around we just got whacked over and over with the winter white. So, being that we're entering winter, I think it's high time to give a look at a book I often overlook. One I don't hate, but never consider it one I think of too often. Ah the conundrums that is this blog. Beware, the Snowman is one of the more intriguing Goosebumps books. A concept that oddly feels more in line with the earlier books, has a solid mid-book twist, and a generally neat concept all around. So, let's take a look at what makes this book tick, what's kept it from melting to total obscurity, and what I think holds it back. Since we've no place to go, let it snow...man. Let's open up another case of the bumps.

#1: THE PLOT

Jaclyn DeForest moves with her Aunt Greta from Chicago to the arctic village of Sherpia. Despite having to deal with the frigid temperatures, she mostly gets along fine. But Greta continues to act strange, not telling her why exactly they moved to Sherpia. All Jaclyn can really remember is a poem her mom would recite to her about having to beware, the snowman for he brings the cold. And, sure enough, Jaclyn soon sees that every front yard has a snowman in it. There's also a mountain in which Jaclyn wishes to climb to the top of. She doesn't make it too far and is caught by a man named Conrad and his dog Wolfsbane, who warn her not to scale the mountain as an evil snowman awaits atop in an ice cave. 

Jaclyn also learns from a pair of kids in town, Eli and Rolonda, that the town once was home to two sorcerers who built a snowman and gave it sentience. That snowman is the same evil snowman atop the mountain which Conrad seems to be trying to keep others from encountering. The snowmen on the lawns are a way to appease the snowman. Jaclyn doesn't buy it. After again thinking that Greta is up to something sinister, she takes  and heads up to the ice cave where the snowman claims to be her long lost father and Greta and Jaclyn's mom were the once who placed a spell on him, turning him into a snowman. Greta shows up with a spell book, to which Jaclyn takes and finishes the poem, which transforms the snowman into a giant red demon. Conrad shows up, as do all of the snowmen form town, who beat up the demon and freeze him solid. Conrad reveals that he's Jaclyn's real father. Everyone lives happily ever after, and the snowmen wish to leave the cold mountain.

#2: THE SETTING

One of the strengths of a Goosebumps book can be its setting. Putting our kid protagonist in a strange new area to deal with. It can also work to make for a unique book. Some good examples being Fever Swamp, HorrorLand, the jungle of Baladora, even the bizarre world of the Beasts. And Sherpia works as well. Granted, it's not the first Goosebumps to use an arctic setting. That being The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena. But it's the first to give us a snowy village where people live and go about their lives. That, despite the difference in temperature, and the loss of a lot of technological advancements, Sherpia feels like a place that could exist. All while giving us the constant looming threat of the mountain and what lies above. The snowmen on the lawns feeling alien, creepy, like threats themselves. I've often believed that even if a Goosebumps book isn't the strongest, or even straight up bad, it can at least be saved if it feels memorable. And if that setting feels memorable. And I'll admit, this is one of the more memorable setting in the series. Feeling unique in its visual identity and actually doing a decent job accentuating the horror. 

#3: REGRETAS

Aunt Greta is interesting, but also feels very familiar. A relative who acts suspicious, as if she has something to hide. Who despite all of Jaclyn's questions about the mountain and the snowmen, tries to hide the truth from her. Trying to scare her away from the mountain. So much so that Jaclyn begins to suspect something is off about her and that maybe she's the real villain. Only to eventually be revealed as someone who has magical powers and is tied to the history of the villain. I didn't really think about it until doing this Case, but she sounds exactly like Great Aunt Kathryn from Monster Blood. Both fit the bill, only with the key difference being that Kathryn was forced into servitude by Sarabeth, while Greta and her sister were trying to defeat this powerful monster that they brought to life.  But what the book also does well is build up a reason for Greta returning to Sherpia. That she needed to return as after ten years, the spell would fade and the monster would be free. 

Granted, Greta still kind of falls into the shitty caretaker mentality of not telling her niece about the dangerous evil creature she has to put back into his snowman form, but given what Jaclyn does in this book when it comes to lore and traditions, yeah, I can kind of see why she wouldn't tell her. A rare occasion where I can actually see Stine's point in using this trope as much as he does. Of course, that also makes the reader just want to get to the fireworks factory with the big reveal, and does hurt the book in making all of this feel too predictable, which I think is one of the main reasons I often don't lump this book in with some of the all-time greats in the series. I've said in the past that I like the mystery, but I will admit some of the little bits to get there aren't in the realm of Stine's strongest.

#4: DADDY DILEMMAS

What does make the book work for me and makes the mystery more solid is the snowman swerve. Again though, this does remind me of something else. Though this time, it's not a Goosebumps book, but rather an episode. That being Bad Hare Day. It's actually one I have considered doing a Case for, and talking about specifically why I think the twist in the episode fixes the story drastically. The book sets up that Amaz-O was always stuck in rabbit form, and when brought back to life turns out to be evil and transforms Tim into a rabbit. While the episode has the rabbit be El Sydney, who claims that Amaz-O was evil, only to be revealed that he was the villain all along. This book does a similar concept with the snowman claiming to be Jaclyn's long lost father. Much like El Sydney, the snowman is a master manipulator, managing to get into Jaclyn's head and using her emotions to turn her from Greta. 

And then we have Conrad, Jaclyn's real father. For mystery's sake, the book has to have Conrad never reveal to Jaclyn the truth of him being her real father, even if it starts to become obvious the more the story goes along. All while the book tries to make it clear that he's not trying to be a deadbeat dad, but felt that he had to stay in Sherpia to keep the snowman from returning, as he felt he owed it to the town. It's again a case of overall gaslighting Jaclyn until the reveal, but it's forgiven. It's a very load-bearing twist. More so than Greta's actions. Also he bucks the trend of most Goosebumps parents in that he actually matters to the plot and given his role in the story, never goes through the rigamarole of having to never believe his daughter since he's really not in the position to do so. Only to really distract her from wanting to visit the forbidden ice cave of mystery. Though it does leave a plot hole of sorts. If Conrad stayed in Sherpia to keep the snowman away from the town, why didn't he have the poetry book? Why would Greta still have it? Though I think Greta's plan was to inevitably reunite father and daughter, it was just handled in the most convoluted way possible. Wouldn't be Goosebumps if not. 

 

#5: JACLYN THE SHITTY TOURIST

If there's only thing I've always hated about this book, it's Jaclyn laughing off Eli and Rolonda when they mention the evil cave snowman and the snowmen in the yards. Thinking this must all be some big joke. A big jape to pull on the new kid in town. Yes, because I'd totally buy the entire town would go to the effort of pulling a large elaborate prank to mess with some random kid who just moved there. Granted, she doesn't fully laugh off Eli's story of going up to the cave, but still doesn't fully buy it. It screams of ignorant kid mocking traditions. It's another trope that Stine loves to go back to, but for some reason it's here that I've never fully been on board with it. I think it's just the mentality of "You don't really believe that do you, girl who has lived in this town her entire life? I for one find it hard to believe, me who has only been here a cup of iced coffee." Even after Rolonda comes off as serious, even afraid of the snowman, Jaclyn is still doubting the reality of a living snowman. Which, granted, is fair to scrutinize, but it comes off more as wanting to humor Rolonda and not piss off one of the few kids in town that she's friends with. It also doesn't help that Jaclyn was already concerned about the snowmen and what was up with the cave, so when she gets answers and acts snide about it, it feels really lame to do. 

#6: IF THIS BOOK IS GOOD, WHY DON'T I LIKE IT THAT MUCH?

I thing this book is good. It exists in the latter era of the original 62 which was a wild west when it comes to quality. Some really solid books, some very good books, and several of the worst in the series. It also comes after Calling All Creeps! A book I feel is one of the strongest in the series. So why don't I like this one? I think it has to do with how slow the book can feel. That sense of slow progression to get to the crux of the mystery. Which makes sense, it's a staple of Goosebumps and you aren't going to reach the finish line when it comes to pages if you don't at least pad things. The horror is also what holds this book back. Because it takes a long time to really feel scary. Unless creepy snowmen are what scare you, this doesn't feel like it has that same ability to induce fear like some other monsters or books. Granted, there are some good harrowing moments with Jaclyn on the mountain, they still feel very few and far between. I also wish we got more with the snowman monster at the end. We get the reveal, it almost kills Jaclyn and Greta and is just easily defeated. For this supposed threat, he has an easily kickable ass. 

It just lacks a hook. The kind of hook that makes you really remember this story. Which sucks to say because there are so many little elements that should make for a good hook. And if those elements were better implemented, I would probably consider this one of the true hidden gems of the series. But it just always disappears from my general interest not long after it enters my mind. A book with a cool finale and some great ideas but otherwise never hitting like a lot of my favorites do. But then again, I can buy that totally being me and my sensibilities to what makes a good Goosebumps book. I ask for bigger and more epic when really that's not what most of Goosebumps ever was. But the books that at least try are the ones that I always come back to. And it just lacks that spark to make this one of my favorites.

#7: FINAL THOUGHTS

Beware, the Snowman is a book I feel has all the potential to be a hidden gem book. A decent mystery, a cool setting, a freaky monster, and a solid finale. I just feel like it's never been a book that knows how to put those pieces together to make for a memorable book. For every unique idea it has, it also has an idea reminiscent of another, more memorable Goosebumps story. It's also one of those books where the main character has a moment of stupidity so bad that it takes me out. If maybe we got Rolonda telling Jaclyn of the snowman in the cave earlier, maybe her laughing it off wouldn't annoy me, but this is already deep into the story, deep into Jaclyn already suspicious of the snowmen. 

It also just always made me wonder "do kids find snowmen scary?" It's one of those monster concepts that is unique, but lacks in that big feeling of horror that I think Stine thought it could give in kids. Like the only time I can say I found a snowman scary was the cover of that Jack Frost horror move. No, not the Michael Keaton one, though admittedly that's freaky too so maybe I could see why Stine considered the idea of scary snowman for a book. But the sad truth is it could have been any kind of creature and you could still have come up with the same general book structure, so even the uniqueness of the snowmen doesn't have a chance to feel unique. Even with all that said, I still think this is a decent enough book that I can see others enjoying more than I did. And it being in the late stages at least means it fits in with what I feel is one of the more interesting eras in the series as it was a run where I feel the books were trying with some unique, experimental ideas. And, I mean, say what you will about this book, it still feels more horror than How I Learned to Fly and a better story overall than Chicken Chicken. So even with my qualms, that is a definite win in this book's column at the very least.