NNtG: Spinetinglers #02: Billy Baker's Dog Won't Stay Buried

It's been a while since we covered a Spinetinglers for the blog, so let's amend that, shall we? We got ghost dogs this time. Now, we know that R.L. Stine is 50/50 when it comes to ghost dogs, so it'll be interesting to see how our M.T. Coffin handles the concept. This time being George Edward Stanley, who was a bit more of a prolific author in this case. Stanley was an author of a few series like Scaredy Cats, Third Grade Detectives, and even some Nancy Drew books. He also wrote several books for Spinetinglers. Will this be a good dog or a bad dog? Let's see why Billy Baker's Dog Won't Stay Buried. 

This cover doesn't really do much for scares, but it's still effective. Especially the transparency that we get from our titular unburied dog Howard. Something about ghosts with a blue hue to their transparent form just makes me love any work that uses that. Also, love the cute touch of a ghostly dog bone. Even in the afterlife good dogs get treats. Solid work.

We open with a lovely scene of our protagonist, Billy Baker, at the vet as his three year old dog Howard is to be put to sleep by Dr. Holmes. While Billy loved Howard, the dog was bad news to everyone else. Constantly being a terror, especially towards Billy's mom and their neighbor, Mr. Calhoun. And I don't just mean barking and stuff, Howard attacked Mr. Calhoun to the point the man's face needed stitches. So it was either put the dog to sleep or he'd sue their family, and Billy and his mom are already not that financially secure. As Howard shuts his eyes for the last time, a sudden lightning strike occurs outside, which causes Howard to wake up one more time before finally dying. But Billy thinks this might be a sign that his dog will be back very soon.

This bothers Dr. Holmes, because it means that Billy was talking to Lenora Winter, owner of the Church of the Kindom of Resurrected Pets. He also seems to want to get in a relationship with Billy's mom since she and Billy moved back to Cape Flattery, which is why Dr. Holmes chooses to pay for Howard's funeral and burial in the nearby pet cemetery. Billy walks home by himself in the storm, pondering if Howard waking up briefly was a sign or not. He passes through Wolf Creek, which is also passing by the church which is owned by Mrs. Winter, the minister. She also has a daughter named Hannah, wh-Wait a minute. Wolf Creek? Hannah? Totally a coincidence I'm sure, but this book DID predate Werewolf Skin by two years...

As Billy makes it home, Mr. Calhoun mocks Billy, saying that he'll be at the dog's funeral to make sure Howard's dead. Which yeah, dick move to do that to the kid's face but, I mean, he did get mauled by a dog and his face fucked up. But he did get a dog killed so maybe he can go fuck himself. I mean, mocking a dead dog is something a terrible human being or R.L. Stine would do. The funeral goes down and Mr. Calhoun is there as he said. This angers Billy who says he's glad that Howard attacked Mr. Calhoun and wished he did a better job. Mr. Calhoun shovels some soil onto Howard's grave before spitting on the dog's corpse because we really need to hate this dude. But Billy promises that Howard will be back and he'll get his revenge. 

Billy then talks with Hannah Winter about the church and about thinking that Howard could come back to life. Hannah says that the church believes in a day of resurrection where all of the pets of the believers of the church will rise from the dead. But only if you truly believe in it. Interesting to take a religious spin on this, but I'm not complaining. It's also Christmastime and after Billy and his mom exchange gifts, Billy heads out to the pet cemetery where he's stopped by Hannah who believes that the night of the resurrection is upon them. That on the night after Howard's death, he will rise from the grave and lead the undead pets. So Howard is Animal Jesus then? 

Suddenly, the kids hear scratching noises from Howard's grave and, sure enough, Howard rises from out of the grave and is alive-ish? Billy goes to pet him, but Hannah tackles him, saying that since Billy wasn't a true believer, Howard won't remember him. This is definitely getting very Great Pumpkin. Howard howls, but no other pets rise yet, so the dog begins to walk. Billy even notices that Howard has an evil expression, not like the dog he used to know. Hannah is confused because this isn't going how her mother had preached, but deep down even she realized her mother's words might be wrong. That the pets wouldn't rise to greet their owner, but instead return for revenge. And, oh gee, I wonder who Howard would want revenge on? Totally not the guy who spit on him and was the reason he died, I'm sure.

And sure enough, Howard arrives at Mr. Calhoun's house. He attacks the man before he rushes to his bedroom and shuts the door. Hannah is still confused, but still says that they should have faith in the resurrection, to which even Billy's getting tired of this. Howard eventually leaves and the kids follow. Suddenly, Howard collapses and is dead again. They take the dog back to his now destroyed grave while Hannah is concerned. Mainly in that if Mr. Calhoun brings this up, the church could collapse. Good to see her priorities are in check. Billy and Hannah make their leaves, unaware that the other graves are starting to open. 

The next day, Billy sees Mr. Calhoun enter his car with his luggage and drive out of town. After going to the comic shop to get his mind off things, he's stopped by a cop, Chief Rury, who takes him home to ask some questions about the previous night. See, he was sent by Mrs. Winter, who Hannah had talked to about the resurrection of Howard, and now he's here to recruit Billy into the church. This place is sounding less like Cape Flattery and more like Cape Cult. Essentially Rury thinks Mrs. Winter has no idea what she unleashed now that there's actually been a resurrected pet, but if Billy joins, it could mean more members to the church. Billy just tells the chief that he didn't see anything involving his dog coming back to life. After the chief leaves, Mrs. Baker wants answers, but while Billy tries to poker face, he eventually admits that the pet comes back to life for unfinished business. Okay, so this book's bonkers as hell so far, but pet corpse church aside, a main character NOT wanting to tell their parent, but also the parent possibly believing it anyway given the structure of the story? Props to Spinetinglers for bucking the trend.

That night, Howard is one again alive-ish and leads Billy outside where he notices a lot of pets around, including ones who were recently deceased. The dog stops outside a house where Billy sees a woman being attacked by a black cat. He calls the cops, mentioning the night of resurrection. But Chief Rury declines from helping the woman because she's not part of the church. Oh that's why it's called Cape Flattery because flattery will get you nowhere, but your pocketbook will get you somewhere. Unfortunately that somewhere just so happens to be a fucking cult! In other words, Rury is using the dead animal attacks to force people to join the church. So Billy just has to tell the woman to suck it up and deal until dawn when the cat will die again. 

Billy then finds a girl named Kathy who is badly injured by a Doberman chasing after her. He manages to carry her to his house as his mom looks on confused as to why her son brought home a bleeding child. Billy tells her that the pets have come back to life and that they need to get out fast. They take Kathy and drive her to Dr. Holmes'. They tell him what's up but he doesn't believe it because it goes against the laws of nature, not so much because Goosebumps-like parent-ish. They take Kathy to the hospital where other people are there, all attacked by their dead pets. Well, except one guy, whose dog who was dead for ten years came into the house, looked for his wife, then left, I guess dejected because he couldn't get revenge on the man's wife who we learned used to hit the dog with a switch. You know, cult activity or not, I'm kind of on the side of the dead petting whooping some ass. 

So now there's dead pets roaming around, there's no way out of Cape Flattery because Chief Rury has the exits blocked, and Billy's doctor, Doctor Durant, is angry because Billy saw all this first and didn't tell anyone. Didn't warn anyone about, you know, dead pets attacking, to which even Billy says that no one would have believed him because Goosebumps parents... and also a town run by a cult. Billy says that the pets should go back to sleep by dawn, and tells the people brandishing shotguns that shooting dead animals won't really solve anything. I dunno. If you shot its legs off, they wouldn't move much... unless the legs just reattach or something since this is all magic mumbo jumbo to begin with.

Billy, his mom and Dr. Holmes wait until dawn at the cemetery, but no sign of the dead pets. They stop by the house of one of Billy's friends, Danny Crawford, and learn from his father that a cat had attacked them the previous night. Billy remembers that there was a cat that was always annoying Bone, Danny's pet cat, so he eventually shot it with a pellet gun and killed it. So, yeah, again, pets are kind of in the right here. Also, Mr. Crawford's wife was attacked by Bone who was also dead for a while, because I guess she was abusive too? They go to take Danny to the hospital, but it's all full from the injured people. Dr. Holmes suggests they should find a way out of town before the next night, but Billy decides that he's going to talk with Hannah to see what he can do to stop this.

Billy heads to the church to talk with Hannah and Mrs. Winter, who says that there's nothing that can be done. The pets will rise every night, seeking vengeance on their abusive owners forever. She then says that Billy should join the church, but he makes a run for it with Hannah following him. She tells Billy and his mom that there is a way out of town. By stealing a church van and driving through the blockade. Hannah also suggests that she should go to, to get away from all of this. But their talk is cut short when Howard shows up and attacks Mrs. Baker. Billy comes to her aid, but gets attacked by the dog. 

After Howard leaves, the group head to Dr. Holmes' so they can try the van escape plan. But before they do so, they spot Howard again, who doesn't attack this time, but is rather remorseful. He leads them back to the cemetery as the animals return to their graves, with Billy realizing that this whole attack was a scare tactic. To force the abusive people to treat animals better. However, when the group find Dr. Holmes, he's badly hurt, having been attacked by Howard. He believes that the attacks will continue and that it was a bad idea to put a pet cemetery in town in the first place. It was supposed to be a parking lot overseeing the human cemetery. This gives Billy an idea. They should pave over the cemetery with concrete. Certainly there's no way that undead animals will be able to burrow out of concrete, right? The town waits for the pets to be buried and they do just that, pave over the cemetery. However, nobody saw what happened to Howard. But they just assumed he went into the wrong grave or something, because at this point they just want this over with.

Some time passes and still no sign of Howard. The church gets set on fire with most of the followers leaving town. Billy, his mom and Dr. Holmes leave Cape Flattery and head to the other side of the country. They stop at a restaurant at Glenwood Springs where Billy sees Howard once more. He doesn't tell anyone. The group reside in Portland, Maine where Mrs. Baker and Dr. Holmes get married. Billy notes that ten years have passed but he expects that with Howard out there, he'll find Billy and this will all begin again. Maybe after he finds and kills Mr. Calhoun first. Kind of his fault in the end.

I really liked this one. Honestly, I was worried going in what with the mention of the church and all, that this was going to be more in line with what Claws! ended up being, but I'm very glad to be wrong. What we get instead is a rather dark horror story about zombie pets getting revenge on shitty abusers. And like, legit revenge too. Not just a scary bark or a scratch, they're here to tear these people apart. And the horror being sold on the idea that these animals will never stop. Never be satisfied. They're out for more than just blood. They're here to kill. With Howard as the leader of the dead animal rebellion I guess. Or at least the one smart enough to not let himself get paved over. So him surviving makes him feel like a legit threat, one even more threatening than what we usually get in these types of horror books. Props to the late George Edward Stanley on this.

What really caught me off guard was the heavy use of religion in the story. Or in this case, a full on religious cult that had gained full control of Cape Flattery, forcing people to either follow them and give them money, or suffer the wrath of the animals. For a kids book in 1995 to be so straightforward in saying that "religion is a scam and a legit threat to people" while also kind of being an ACAB book given the police are part of the church's control, makes this one far more ahead of its time. So it also means that, given your own beliefs and faith, you may or may not like how this book tries to parallel religion and full on cult mentality into one. At least it comes off that the church gets defeated in the end as they all leave town, but let's be honest. The church would likely keep going, only now more spread out.

It's also a kids horror story that feels very bleak in everything. Giving off a feeling of Armageddon throughout. That this will happen again. That the cycle could eventually catch up to Billy again once Howard finds him. That people will suffer, people will likely be killed, and everything will again go into chaos. Though whether that will involve the church will be an unanswered question. It's also why I like the twist, and that it even mentions that ten years have passed. It means that Billy will kind of always be stuck with the horror of Howard eventually returning, and the fact that Howard's return hasn't been immediate really works in sticking that sense of dread. It does what I feel the nihilist sense of Most Wanted failed on. Bleak in an interesting way that makes you want more, not just make you feel more depressed.

Billy's a great protagonist. You understand why he wanted revenge for Howard, and yet when things go bad, he takes fault for what's happened, feeling like he was the impetus for everything that went bad in Cape Flattery. He's also one of the rare protagonists who doesn't just tell their parents about everything, even if the plot's concept of the church and the resurrection play into the plot itself. Mrs. Baker is a decent parent who has a solid rapport with her son and does what she can to help in the situation. Dr. Holmes acts as mostly a skeptic who deep down realizes that he'll also be attacked by Howard and eventually does. Hannah exists for the most part to be more of the focus on just how deep the religion of the church is, and also one who can see through the faults of her mother's teachings. 

Chief Rury exists for the most part as a side villain as does Mrs. Winter. Though I wouldn't call Chief Rury a Superfluous Clay either. Nor would I do so for Danny or Kathy, really as they have to be here to suffer from the pets. But more importantly Chief Rury needs to be there to show how deep the church has festered into the town. And finally there's Howard who does feel like a threat. A violent, dangerous dead animal that seeks his vengeance on those who wronged him. Whether they were pricks like Mr. Calhoun or people who weren't AS bad like Billy's mom or Dr. Holmes, who didn't want to put Howard to sleep, but he was forced into it. But, to a creature fixated on revenge, that doesn't matter. And, now the question remains as the book ends, will Howard return for Billy? Does the dog feel wronged by seemingly the one boy who cared for him, yet was instrumental in having hundreds of his followers buried in concrete? Gotta love when a villain feels like a threat. 

So yeah, this was a great book in my eyes. Not perfect, and your mileage may vary by how hard they push the religious cult aspect to this story for children, but it still works to create a solid horror story. We don't do enough Spinetinglers, but with this book, I may have to amend that for future blogs. So easy recommend. One of the rare kids horror stories that I kind of wish would be made into a movie. That's how high I am for this one. It's definitely an idea that shouldn't stay buried. Billy Baker's Dog Won't Stay Buried gets an A.