NNtG: Shivers #13 : The Spider Kingdom

 CONTENT WARNING: I MEAN, DUH, SPIDERS. BUT FOR THE ARACHNOPHOBICS, IF YOU GOTTA SKIP, GO AHEAD.

Time for another trip into Shivers territory. We've dealt with a ton of crazy things so far, but, at least to my mileage, we've been practically bug-free so far. Well that ends today as we're talking about spiders. Lots and lots of spiders. Giant spiders at that. What tangled web has M.D. Spenser weaved? Let's tread into The Spider Kingdom. 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The focus of our story is a boy named Freddy and his best friend Lumpy. Yes. LUMPY. And yes, it's because he's fat. And a bully, so he's more likely to make someone else lumpy with his fists. The two are also pathological liars and not very good ones at that, as we open the story with them in the office of Principal Diplinger as the duo were caught throwing firecrackers in the boys restroom. They get suspended for three days with Lumpy apparently being beaten with a belt by his mom. Okay then. Maybe that's also why he's called Lumpy. But they don't let it get to them, they instead steal some wood from a building being made and make a tree fort for themselves to spend their time. Yes, these two are some real badasses. But they don't drink or do drugs... yet...

Freddy notices a butterfly, which is quickly killed by Lumpy. Freddy's indifferent to it, since he hates most bugs, including spiders. Oh the irony. Lumpy then pulls a prank on him, putting a fake black widow on him, which works since despite being a bully, Freddy's an easy mark. And speaking of marks, the two then spot their regular mark, a nerdy boy named Tommy Molloy, who was the kid they were throwing the firecrackers at. After punching him in the gut and throwing his books into the woods, the boys return to their fort, satisfied. However, they're better bullies than carpenters and the wood collapses underneath them. 

The two fall, but Lumpy is saved by being bounced off a branch like Vic Grimes hitting the ropes off the scaffold fall (my one wrestling reference per book). After Freddy heads home, he gets a note to clean the porch rafters. He discovers hundreds of spiders, and in a panic, sprays them. He's satisfied with this, until he enters his house and finds a giant spider. As in like larger than Freddy, eating ice cream bars. The spider, who can also talk, then decides that Freddy will serve as a better meal and goes to attack him. Before Freddy is food, he manages to stall the spider long enough by teaching Freddy about spiders. But not before webbing up Freddy so he can't make a run for it.

The spider shows Freddy the massacred 53 spiders that Freddy poisoned instead of just washing away with a hose. Which, I mean could have still killed a bunch of spiders, but semantics I suppose. The spider then leads Freddy out of the house and the backyard and tells them that they're going to the spider kingdom to meet with the king. Freddy gets dragged down a gigantic hole which serves as a nest to gigantic spiders. Including a black spider with a southern accent... for some reason, who chides Freddy for standing by as Lumpy broke the legs off daddy long legs (which aren't technically spiders but hey, neat to see some respect). 

Freddy soon finds Lumpy, who is already tied to a gigantic spider web. Freddy gets tied up as well as the spider tells them that the "killer kids" are to be placed on the web forever until they're nothing but bones. That's just a joke actually, as the two are soon taken by guard spiders to the king, a gigantic tarantula. Another spider, a smaller yellow one, reads out their sentences. For their murder and maiming of spiders, and added points for beating up Tommy Molloy (I guess spiders got Tommy's back on this. Game recognizes game.) The two are sentenced to death, to be killed by the executioners. Lumpy tries to sell out Freddy as the one who really hated the spiders, but it's no good. The two see their executioners as a pair of wolf spiders, ready for the kill.

The two are taken to the gallows, which are being woven by spiders. I guess they want them to hang first before being eaten. I guess they don't enjoy a live meal. Freddy and Lumpy make a run for it, but eventually find that escape is tricky as, oh right, Lumpy has a broken ankle. Freddy hides him in a makeshift spot before heading back to get supplies to help him. When the spiders find Lumpy, Freddy hands him a flashlight to scare them long enough for Freddy to get Tommy to help. He gets Tommy to help lift Lumpy out, only for Tommy to say "Game recognizes game" and shove Freddy into the waiting spiders. Nah, that's not how it ends, but man I wish that it did.

Because after they escape and Freddy heads home, he soon wakes up. Unsure if any of the spider kingdom stuff actually happened. Regardless, we get our mega happy ending. Freddy becomes slightly better friends with Tommy, no longer associates with Benedict Lumpy, and no longer hurts bugs. He still does pranks and all, but he doesn't drink or do drugs... yet...

Yeah, this book kind of owns. I will say the dream ending kind of sucks, even after the book sets things up that Freddy is so stuck that he doesn't think it's a dream. But what makes it work more than most is that the book leaves it on enough of an open ending. An "or was it?" type deal which is fine. But everything else works really well. The spider kingdom itself, the way it looks all mossy and like a giant cave filled with torches and every spider imaginable. The details of the different spiders and just how freakish everything is. It might be a frontrunner for most horrific atmosphere in any of these books that I've read. 

Freddy's an okay enough protagonist. He feels more like a kid who is pressured to be a bully more than he actually is. How he fears showing emotion towards others as it would be considered "sissy". So it makes his friendship with Lumpy toxic. Which, given that Lumpy is ready to sell him out multiple times, yeah, I can see that. I will say that Tommy feels rather superfluous clay, not given enough to do. Heck, him being added to the list of things that the spiders punish Freddy and Lumpy for feels kind of silly. Especially if it wasn't for some swerve at the end. I get it. You need a mega happy ending, unless your book is about an apple orchard I guess, but that would have been such a killer conclusion.

So, not much to really break down with this one. It is just a solid book. One that I'm going to avoid looking at the cover of for as looooooooong as I can. But it's still a recommend. It's a bit silly, but works well as a horror story and a parable about not just killing bugs for no reason. Decent enough length, a lot of action, and horror that works if you're afraid of spiders. Shivers continues to stick with me, and what a tangled web this book weaves. The Spider Kingdom gets an A.