Another night, another trip to kid-friendly Shadyside. And we're going medieval on this book. Mainly as it involves a suit of armor and a ghostly mystery. Sounds up my alley, but given that I've been burned by these sorts of stories before, I have no idea what to expect. I just hope to not expect complete disappointment. It's Fright Knight.
Mike Conway's dad is a collector of creepy curios. Creating his own little horror museum out of his house called the Museum of History's Mysteries. Full of wax figures, strange objects and more. Essentially it's the Mystery Shack before the Mystery Shack. And it's right on, where else, Fear Street. We even get some mention of things like the Hide and Seek in the cemetery and the haunted treehouse. Mr. Conway, Mike, and their assistant Mr. Spellman (hmmm) are all excited, hoping for good business with Halloween on the way, even if Mike's younger sister Carly finds all the excitement over things like bloody guillotines way too gross and creepy. And it's going to get creepier as a delivery arrives for the Conway family from their uncle Basil in England. None other than a suit of armor. Because what else would be sent, haunted tea and crumpets?
As delivery men bring in the giant crate, a battle ax breaks through the wood and cuts Mike's foot off! No, wait, just the rubber part of his sneaker up front. But despite coming close to losing five little piggies, Mike shrugs that off pretty quickly. After putting on fresh, non-cleft in twain shoes, Mike learns from Mr. Spellman that the suit of armor comes from the wonderfully named Dreadbury Castle, once home to Sir Thomas Barlayne, an evil knight who did evil knight things. That's until a wizard trapped Barlayne into a suit of armor forever. Which, yes, that's concerning, but more so that whoever owns Barlayne's armor is cursed forever with bad luck or worse. So, congrats on that I guess. Both Mr. Spellman and Mike decide to investigate, but for plot convenience, both Carly and Mr. Conway can't be made privy.
Speaking of which, Mr. Conway and Carly check the armor inside, only for it to grab Carly! No, wait, her bracelet got caught. They note that the armor feels weirdly warm as if it were worn recently. There's also a strange marble-like pendant with strange swirling smoke inside that's a gift for Mike. They assemble the armor and Mike notes it could fit his favorite wrestler Hulk Hooligan. Okay, that's actually a decent parody name for once. Later that night, Mike starts hearing footsteps and goes down to think it's the knight, but it's just Carly bumping the ceiling with a broom. Points to Carly for some clever pranking for once. They go check the armor, bumping and fumbling through the museum. Which is filled with coffins and mummies and a wax Dracula. But when they go to check out the armor, it's missing!
So now the kids are convinced that the armor of Sir Thomas is indeed haunted and is walking around somewhere in the house. Though, given it's large, clunky metal armor, wouldn't exactly be hard to not hear it sneaking around, right? They find Sir Thomas sitting on a prop horse in the conservatory of the house because what house DOESN'T have a conservatory? The knight doesn't move so Mike chalks it up as their dad and Mr. Spellman moving all of the knight stuff into the conservatory as a special exhibit. Mike also decides that despite, you know, the stories about the haunted armor, he should take a look inside the visor as it is giving off an eerie green glow. He opens it, but hears a weird squeak, smells a foul odor, oh, and a bat flies out of the armor.
So, haunted armor, arrant bat, not exactly the best night so far. Though despite, you know, the whole thing with the armor, Mike still doesn't believe he actually saw a ghost, but the eeriness of the situation doesn't fully make him not think he's seeing a ghost. He rushes out of the conservatory, through the mummy room of the museum, causing him to inhale some "mummy dust". That can't be good for the ol' lungs. He tries to head back upstairs, only to find the doors in the parlor locked, which is weird given Carly seemed to have left just fine. So either another prank or, you know, maybe don't annoy the ghost knight. But Mike checks the conservatory to see that Sir Thomas is where he left him. But when he tries to go through the back door to escape, the armor finally gets up and points at him, calling him an evil wizard.
Mike is, as you'd expect, confused. He's not a wizard. Neither of the magic spell nor the pinball variety. But that doesn't stop Sir Thomas from being about to impale him with a lance regardless. But that would be a quick book, so instead the knight would rather make Mike suffer. He says that they once had a great battle where the wizard turned into a dragon and everything. But after centuries of being trapped in the armor, Sir Thomas is going to enjoy making Mike suffer. But before he's about to mace him good, Mike screams the word "chivalry", hoping that this evil knight ghost will abide by that. And sure enough Sir Thomas at least allows Mike a shield as he bashes his brains in. The knight smashes the mace into the shield, which causes the mace to break. Lousy cheap weapons of torture.
Mike runs off some more with Sir Thomas slashing a sword behind him. He then notices a catapult with a papier mache rock inside. He launches the rock which actually knocks the knight down. So, despite being a scary ghost knight, he's a super weak scary ghost knight. Mike celebrates, just as Mr. Conway shows up, sees the armor knocked down, and gets mad at him for it. Mike tries to explain, but Mr. Conway doesn't believe him beca- Wait, he actually DOES believe Mike since if he really has a haunted armor, that's going to really bring in the customers for the museum. I mean, who gives a damn about their safety when there's money to be made, right? Mike tries to warn him about the curse however, but Dad doesn't listen because capitalist pigdog.
The next day, Mike is determined to stop Sir Thomas from harming anyone, even if it means, you know, possibly putting his family in the poorhouse. But Mr. Spellman tells him that maybe Mike already beat the knight the previous evening. I mean, it's been almost a whole day and Sir Thomas hasn't moved once, right? He'll totally never come back to life and cause horror again, right? Well given that night they two get attacked by Sir Thomas, that's probably not the smartest bet to take. Sir Thomas first throws an arrow at them. Before he can kill them however, all the lances in the room surround the knight, incapacitating him for the moment. It's in that moment that Mike realizes that maybe it's the pendant he was given. Perhaps it's what can put Sir Thomas at bay. As the knight tries to recover, Mike raises the marble, blasting the armor and leaving the knight as a red shadow. Mike thinks this makes him a wizard until he soon realizes what we all realized. Mr. "Spellman" is actually Mardren the wizard and he's the real villain of the story!
Mardren begins to transform into a more standard wizard look. He mentions that every one hundred years, he and Sir Thomas battle one another. If Mardren wins, then Sir Thomas remains trapped in the armor for another century. And now that Mike inadvertently aided him in victory, Mardren feels he doesn't have to worry. And knowing that Sir Thomas was dumb enough to think he would take the form of a kid and not, you know, the guy named MR. SPELL MAN, it would be even easier. So this was all planned from the start, even before Basil sent the armor from Dreadbury Castle. Mardren took the job in disguise and bided his time before finally enacting his plan. And now that it's done, he can take back the magic pendant and kill Mike to keep him from snitching. Mardren calls him Toad, then thinks to turn him into a mouse. Because they have a cat named Salem apparently. Salem. Spellman. Well, I know the inspiration at least.
Before Mardren can finish off Mike, Sir Thomas recovers. The two brawl when suddenly the pendant breaks, causing strange smoke to billow which somehow gives Mike a golden suit of armor and a sword. Carly also suddenly shows up and distracts Mardren while Mike can finish the job. Mardren turns into a dragon, but Carly manages to stop him with a fire extinguisher because honestly she's the smartest character in this entire book. Mardren then tries to hypnotize Mike with strange sparks that destroy the glass ceiling of the conservatory, but Mike manages to stop it in time, which also causes Mardren to melt into nothing but a purple snail.
As Mike and Carly celebrate, suddenly Sir Thomas recovers and points his sword at the kids before realizing that Mardren was finally defeated. He reveals that he only thought Mike was Mardren on account of the pendant. See, Thomas was never the evil knight. But he also made the unwise decision to fall in love with the daughter of an evil wizard. And thus, Mardren cursed Sir Thomas Barlayne to being forever bound to the armor. He thanks Mike and Carly for helping him finally be free from the spell before knighting Mike as Sir Mike of History's Mysteries. He then turns into smoke and vanishes.
The next day, Mike tells his dad what happened and his dad is surprisingly chill for having been screwed out of a haunted suit of armor. But their discussion is cut short when another package arrives from Uncle Basil. The actual suit of armor he was sending them. Mike also gets a gift as well. Not a pendant this time. A shirt that says "I Visited England and All I Got Was This Dumb T-Shirt". You know what, corny ending, but I like it.
Slightly more prolific name for ghostwriter this time in Casey Daniels, or Constance Laux, which is her real name. Mostly a mystery writer working on multiple series like Year of the Cat, Chili Cook Off Mystery, Ethnic Eats Mystery and more. This is her only Ghosts book which is a shame as I really liked this one. It is a bit clunky. Mainly in how obvious the villain is (hence my Hmmm). Perhaps the most obvious actual villain since "Mr. Fleshman" from the Body Squeezer books. For a centuries old wizard, he's not that great a strategist. He does set things in motion, but his final foray was poorly thought out. But it does lead to what is one of the more action packed Ghosts books, which makes this one not feel like a normal slog.
It does take a bit to pick up, but once we get our first scene with Sir Thomas in motion, it's actually harrowing and exciting. Of course, we know that Mike won't get killed, but putting him in such a scenario makes for a series of strong moments. The final battle is also really good albeit very rushed. Like we barely get much dragon action which is a shame. But, when the book offers a lot of energy to it, I can't complain that much. There isn't as much wheel spinning or hitting a wall. You could argue that Mr. Conway is a bit too forgiving for being screwed out of a potential moneymaker, but he does get the non-haunted armor, so I guess that'll help.
Mike is a decent protagonist. Not entirely amazing, but does the job right. Carly is the smartest character in the book, both in pranking Mike and in actually being useful. Sir Thomas is alright as a misdirect villain and Mardren is a solid villain that mostly feels like a threat that was ultimately bested by his hubris. And while, yes, it's a predictable reveal, a predictable reveal can still be good if it leads to something interesting and there was enough interesting stuff going on to keep it moving. Even the weak twist is far from an issue with me. So overall, another Ghosts win. Not a perfect book by any means but does a lot really well to feel fresh enough while also feeling like something that Stine would write. So it earns a solid recommend as well. Fright Knight gets an A-.
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