The Stinal Countdown: Fear Street Super Chiller: The Dead Lifeguard

Time for another Super Chiller. And it's summer-themed. This can be a roll of the dice quite honestly. But it does have an intriguing title and maybe we might be in store for another underrated book. Or we're just swimming too far out into the deep end. Time to find out about The Dead Lifeguard. 

This is a decent cover. It definitely gets the message across about what this book is. And that's about a dead lifeguard. Weirdly it also feels like that one cover for Crisis on Infinite Earths in which Superman is holding Supergirl in the same position. Though the demeanor of the living lifeguard is far less distraught, more stone-faced. Other than that, good use of color and just intriguing enough to talk about. Quality work. Though I am surprised they showed restraint and used blue outfits instead of red. I guess they feared Baywatch. 

We have an interesting first chapter as someone by the name of "Mouse" is talking to someone named Terry on the phone. Except they aren't actually talking to Terry. Terry's dead. And Mouse claims that it's because of the lifeguards at the swim club up at North Beach. But now that Mouse is a lifeguard they plan to get revenge for their friend. To kill the lifeguards to enact that revenge. They then say they'll call Terry later, even though again, Terry's dead and all Mouse gets is a dial tone. So, at least the poor mental health thing isn't a late reveal for once?

We then move focus on a girl named Lindsay Beck who has arrived at the North Beach Country Club, where she is to be a lifeguard for the summer. And not just any summer, she knows this will be a (Woo!) Party Summer! She spots a red-haired boy (because there's always one) entering the pool area using his ID card. Lindsay tries, but it doesn't work. All while a convenient storm hits. She also spots something in the pool. Some girl. Or, to possibly be more precise, a girl's corpse! Seemingly drowned in the pool. 

We shift POV over to the red-haired boy named Danny (and thankfully Stine learned from Missing as chapters have the character name at the start this time), the head lifeguard for the pool. He's being horny towards another lifeguard named Cassie Harlow because this is a Fear Street book. We also learn of the other lifeguards on duty, joker Arnie Wilts, "just okay" in Danny's eyes Dierdre Webb and tall May-Ann Delacroix. And then there's Pug, who looks like any standard lifeguard guy. After meeting our cast, they turn their attention to Lindsay who is in a panic about the drowned girl. But when they check, there's no drowned girl in the pool. So if Lindsay wanted to make a first impression, it's not going over so well.

Everything calms down and Lindsay starts to realize that maybe she was seeing things. She then introduces herself as the new lifeguard, but when Danny checks, there's no Lindsay Beck on the list. And that ID card is two years old at this point so that also makes things a bit more bizarre. Although interestingly enough, every teen that's working the pool is new this year. Nobody from the previous year returned. Pug was a guest the previous year, but that's about it. They chalk this up as some strange misunderstanding and tell Lindsay that the athletic director Pete Harris should sort things out. 

Lindsay is still confused about what she saw, but May-Ann then tells her that maybe she saw one of the dead kids. Now everyone is confused, but May-Ann tells them that the pool is supposedly cursed. That every year there's at least one drowned kid. You'd think that would be a cause for concern, but you know, country club. Rich and white. May-Ann also mentions how a fourteen year old boy had drowned the year prior. Even with three lifeguards on duty, the kid still drowned. And here I thought Jason Voorhees had it bad. And supposedly the year before that was the death of a lifeguard. A lifeguard died. A "Dead Lifeguard" if you will. Everyone calls BS on this, but May-Ann says that it's definitely true. 

Suddenly, they all get scared by another boy who enters. A dark-haired, more serious boy named Spenser Brown, who was late to show up on account of storm-related issues. Whether he too saw a ghost corpse is up for debate. But he and Lindsay know each other, so that's at least a plus. Pete shows up and assigns the lifeguards to their rooms. He checks on Lindsay's info and is confused that she's not on the list, but he must have definitely interviewed her and offered her the spot. It's not like there's a reason to be suspicious that this girl shows up out of the blue with an expired ID claiming to be a lifeguard. No way, right? I mean probably as Stine's making it too obvious, but we're still early into the book.

Lindsay says that she has been a former lifeguard from two years ago as was Spenser, but Pete's confused. He's got no memory of her whatsoever. But she's in and will room with May-Ann. The teens talk about pumping up, to which Arnie says that he pumps up all the time, to which Pete makes a gesture as if he's going to be sick at the thought. Was... was that a masturbation joke in a Fear Street book? I mean, it could have just been them finding it funny that Arnie would be working out but like, you're not putting that one past me, Stine. Everyone settles down and Lindsay tries to remember Spenser, but nothing's coming up. We get another update from "Mouse" who says that they're in with the lifeguards now and is ready to kill their roommate. That is, if the ghost of Terry wants them to.

At dinner, Danny is envious that Cassie and Dierdre are more interested in Pug and Spenser, while May-Ann is still talking about ghosts and Lindsay seems to want to know about the dead kid the year before, but Spenser says he wasn't on duty that day. As they warm up by the fire, Cassie tricks May-Ann into thinking a ghost is here, then makes cracking noises to make Spenser think he broke his arm while arm-wrestling Pug. So, we have TWO jokers in the group. Great. Lindsay goes to check on May-Ann, but instead finds a bunch of mice in May-Ann's dresser. And speaking of which, "Mouse" updates us again. Nothing new. They're stronger and going to kill the lifeguards, yadda yadda bladda bladda. 

The next day we learn that the mice weren't real, just a bunch of mouse figurines on May-Ann's dresser. Along with plushies of mice, plastic mouse toys. So if it ends up being May-Ann then thanks, Bob for making it too obvious. Still early, anything can happen. That night, Lindsay and May-Ann hear the moaning of a ghost, but it's actually just Cassie with another of her amazing zingers. Less of a knee slapper and more of a "slap her in the back of the head already". The next day, Lindsay and the other lifeguards are on duty. Spenser is excited about a quarter he got from an old lady, but when Lindsay jokes about it, he sulks and throws it in a trash can. That's not concerning or anything. Especially since Lindsay still can't actually remember Spenser.

That night, Lindsay heads out to the pool and finds a drowned girl in the pool. She goes to check, only to find it's her. Her body, whispering that she's the real Lindsay before then rotting away into a skeletal heap. How was THAT not the cover? Lindsay wakes up in a panic, but can still hear a voice whispering to her. She soon enters a steaming hot dining room and finds Cassie by the fireplace. Or, to be more precise, Cassie's CORPSE. Her head is right in the fireplace, ablaze. And this one's not a dream. Not a jape. Unless Cassie's really good at pranks, this one's no joke. Cassie is dead. 

Cops arrive and interview Lindsay, to which we learn she lives on, where else, Fear Street. The cop, Officer Malone, doesn't believe that Lindsay heard any ghostly voice and even claims that she must have been drunk or something. She turns her attention to Pug as we learn he went out with Cassie that night, so now he's just as much a suspect as Lindsay. After the cops leave, May-Ann reiterates that the cops should know that this is common. Every year someone dies. Danny seems a bit concerned about the smirk on May-Ann's face. Mouse reports to Terry about how happy they are to have done their first kill and no one's the wiser. But they have to pick up the pace and continue their spree while the spree-ing's good.

Everything kind of moves on after the whole "Cassie's dead" stuff and Lindsay starts to feel homesick. She calls her parents, but the number is no longer in service. Oh, I see where we're going with this twist too, but just a bit further. She calls an operator for the address of a Beck family on Shadyside, and also, no Becks on Fear Street or Shadyside for that matter. She drives to her home, but the woman in the house isn't her mother. So, in case you're finally clueing in on this, the woman tells Lindsay that the Beck family left Shadyside two years ago after their daughter died. Lindsay heads back to the club and checks the records for employment and finds her name. And, dun-dun-dun, she finds that she was the lifeguard who drowned two years ago. She's the title of the book. So this is a Ghost Next Door thing? Lindsay somehow popped back into existence and can seem to manipulate objects and such? Also Mouse updates Terry saying they're ready to kill again. Cool, whatever, shit or get off the pot already, we have bigger existential crises to deal with.

A couple days pass and Lindsay's still in some denial over the whole, you know, might be a ghost thing. After Pug humiliates Arnie by using him as a weight, Lindsay tries to calm him down, but Arnie says he has big plans for the summer, before grabbing Lindsay hard by the shoulders and forces himself on her. So, is she a ghost or a zombie, what's up? Spenser shows up to diffuse the situation. Lindsay tries to get answers as to what happened at the pool that year, but Spenser doesn't tell her. He clearly knows what's up and that she shouldn't be alive (or whatever she is at the moment), but he's not ready to tell her that. The next day, Arnie apologizes to Lindsay, but, you know, he's likely not Mouse but he can go screw.

So, despite, you know, the sexual assault, Arnie offers to go out with Lindsay and she agrees. There's a new Bruce Willis movie coming out. So, this book came out in June of 1994. Maybe the closest reference is Pulp Fiction. It's a month before, but maybe North. And if it's North, that's a fate worse than a crisis over if you're alive or dead. Speaking of which, a middle-aged woman shows up, thinking that maybe Lindsay is, you know, Lindsay, but since that Lindsay's dead, it's just a misunderstanding and not, you know, a ghost. Things seem tense, since you know, Cassie is also dead, but even odder is that Pug and May-Ann seem to be more closer than usual. 

That night, Lindsay hears the whispery voice again and there's no sign of May-Ann. She eventually gets led to the weight room where she finds Pug. Or, to b-you get the idea. Pug's dead. Strangled to death by a barbell. Pete arrives and sees Lindsay with Pug's corpse, meaning that now Lindsay's screwed. She thinks that if Pete thinks she killed Pug and Cassie, so will Officer Malone. Made no better when May-Ann states that she believes Lindsay was spying on her and Pug, waiting for her chance to strike. Another Mouse chapter but who gives a crap anymore? Like, we get the point now, just reveal who it is already, Bob. 

So, Lindsay's in more of a panic. Everyone thinks she killed Pug and Cassie and now she's fearing being arrested. How can you arrest a ghost? They have some sort of Ghostbusters containment unit? She takes Danny's car and leaves again, only for Arnie to sneak up on her from behind while she's driving, almost getting the two of them killed. Well, one of them killed at least. She kicks Arnie out to which he promises she'll regret it. She returns to the pool and tells Danny about Arnie before everyone wants her to go into the pool. Lindsay then reveals that she's not actually Lindsay. She's Marissa Dunton who killed Lindsay two years ago. Wait what?

So, we've really not been following the actual Lindsay, or ghost Lindsay this whole time. It was Marissa. It all sort of popped back into her head. She and Lindsay were best friends and lifeguards at the pool two years ago. One day, they were roughhousing around the pool (which, for lifeguards they weren't very good at following the rules), when Marissa shoved Lindsay, causing her to slip into the pool and smash her head into the concrete, killing her instantly. Marissa didn't take the death very well and caused her to mentally snap, making her assume Lindsay's identity, right down to the clothing and everything. She ended up in a mental hospital for months and was let go when she was healthy enough. But the memories returned and once again Marissa thought she was Lindsay, leading us to the events of the book.

Marissa says she never killed Pug and Cassie, but isn't sure of that given her mental state. She asks why Spenser recognized her AS Lindsay, but Spenser doesn't know. Spenser tries to calm Marissa down when a convenient phone call arrives from a Mrs. Brown who says that her son Spenser couldn't be at the country club as a lifeguard because he was murdered. So, yeah. Spenser is Mouse. Bet you pretty much expected that one, huh? So Spenser Brown is really Jack Mouser, who was at the pool the same year as Marissa, Spenser and Lindsay. He and his brother Terry worked in the kitchen but envied the lifeguards. And, because these teens always suck in these books, the lifeguards teased the brothers about not being lifeguards. To the point of hazing the brothers because again, these kids sucked. 

It messed with Terry far worse than Jack as we learned that not long after, Terry would take his own life. Oh, ohhh I don't like this swerve. I do not like it one bit. I'll talk about it in the conclusion. Jack promised to get revenge for his brother, to kill the lifeguards at the country club pool. Even though Marissa says that it's not the same lifeguards as two years ago. Not an issue for Jack as he wants every lifeguard dead. And when he recognized Marissa, he messed with her head. Made the whispering noises to lure her to the victims, so she would take the fall. But now it's time to kill her. As Jack starts to drown Marissa, May-Ann comes to her aid just in time, choking out Jack as the others come. We learn where May-Ann was. She was in a relationship with Pete, who I think is in his twenties and if so ewww Bob. As the cops arrive, Marissa goes to call her parents and tell them that she's finally okay.

Huh. So that was a book. Something just felt like Stine wasn't confident with this one and when he swerved, he swerved like he had never swerved before. At a nearly breakneck pace. He drove to his favorite well, got out of the car, put the bucket down the well and pulled up a bucket full of ice cold refreshing "poor mental health/split personality". Something just feels off about this swerve that it ultimately boiled down to his tried and true. Which sucks because at least Lindsay being this living ghost was an interesting idea. Even Mouse was an interesting idea. But you can tell Bob had no idea how to make this work. Like, at least with The Ghost Next Door there was an idea there. And the book saw it through with Hannah being reunited with her family in the afterlife after. Maybe that's what scared him with this one? That, even for Stine that's too redundant? Now that's a twist.

So ultimately it makes so much of this book feel super superfluous Clay. Even more so than most Super Chillers. But, while identity disorders is already old hat, I'll at least say the mystery before everything went to crap was actually intriguing. And even if the Marissa stuff comes from out of the blue, it makes some sense. More in a case of coincidences, but sure, I can buy that it's just how Marissa processed how she accidentally killed Lindsay. It just feels lame. Not to mention that the whole plot hinges on our villain getting revenge on bullies who caused his brother to commit suicide, which feels super frigging gimmicky. More so for using someone's suicide as a motivating factor for evil deeds. And given it's not even revenge on the lifeguards who bullied them, with the exception of Cassie and the actual Spenser, we're not even really allowed to side with Jack on this. And using suicide for gimmicky crap like this just feels gross, even for Stine.

It also reminds me too much of The Babysitter in how Mr. Hagen wanted to kill all babysitters for the negligence of one. So, we're given a reason at least to want to see Mouse fail since he was killing people who weren't responsible. But, like, if Marissa and the ones there that year were the ones who led to Terry's death then I really don't want any of them to win either. So we go from a book where we thought we had any sympathetic characters to our protagonist and main villain having zero. That's pretty lame, Bob.

Speaking of, despite her being a catalyst in Terry's suicide, Lindsay/Marissa is an alright protagonist. At least you can understand what happened to her and while she did some bad things, unlike other former bully protagonists, she at least seems to have changed. That she's seemingly overcome the looming spirit of Lindsay and she can move on. It's at least a positive ending. Not a happy one, but you know, it's an ending, that's enough. Everyone else just feels there with no real importance, especially Danny. Hell, aside from Mouse and Lindsay, the shifts in POV were kind of pointless. Another sign that something changed by the end and Stine was stymied as to what to do. A couple quality deaths though, especially Cassie's which is one of the more brutal deaths in Fear Street.

So, I'm conflicted. There are things I liked and other things that just really did not work. It felt like Stine was trying to find stuff in this book and so little of it worked. The mystery shift, how to make Lindsay work as a "ghost", Mouse's motivations, the random as hell stuff with Arnie as a sexual predator which also just gets dropped as soon as the Marissa stuff is revealed. There's some great ideas, but Stine couldn't get them to work and he stumbled to get to the finish line. So, while it's far from the worst book, it also just feels like a drowned, bloated corpse of a book. Less Woo! Party Summer and more Ooh! That's a Bummer! The Dead Lifeguard gets a C+.