The Stinal Countdown: Goosebumps Series 2000 #18: Horrors of the Black Ring

Time for another trip into Series 2000. Hard to believe that in terms of books I have left, we're down to only a handful. And this one is a book I'm at least a bit intrigued by. Cursed objects are no stranger to Stine works, so it makes me more curious than your usual monster book fare. But will this book shine like a diamond or will we be in a three-ring bind? Let's see with Horrors of the Black Ring

COVER STORY

If I could describe this cover in one word, it would be "cluttered". Which is definitely the point. A pile of discarded and strewn about jewelry. But the one piece that is most important is the one in the middle, the aforementioned black ring. The ring itself looks pretty neat, but the selling point is the strange monster face inside. Not the freakiest visage we've gotten from a cover, but still very effective regardless. 

STORY

Beth Welch starts the book being annoyed by her sister Amanda, who Beth describes as looking like an insect, which isn't the harshest insult, I guess. We learn that Beth is a redhead, because it's Stine, and that despite Amanda's claims that Beth promised to go to the petting zoo today (mainly because Amanda likes shooting rubber bands at goat, so if that's the case she can piss off), but Beth can't do that anyway as she has to work the spring carnival. Though Amanda thinks it's because Beth has a crush on Danny Jacobs, a boy who is also working the carnival. As they talk, they almost get run over by a kid named Anthony Paul Gonzales, who pulls the old "no working brakes on his bike" gag. I hate this kid already. We also learned he once played a "prank" on Beth thinking that her cat Benson got run over. Okay, now I want this kid dead. Then we learn that Benson died of natural causes and Anthony laughed about it because I think this kid may actually just be R.L. Stine.

But it's obviously bothered Beth ever since and while she's not the revenge type, she still wants to get back at Anthony for all the crap he's pulled. Beth then spots an injured bird, which Anthony is about to run over. Beth saves it in time, but Anthony just mocks her for caring about a half-dead animal. Holy shit, he IS R.L. Stine. Then he runs over worms instead, which Amanda panics over. Like, I get it. She's very "every animal is sacred", but for all of the loving of creatures, you're still going to step on a whole bunch of bugs in your life. Even if you're the safest person on earth, the bottom of your sneaker will still be a straight up crime scene.

After taking the injured bird home, Beth heads to school and talks with her teacher, Miss Gold, about the incident and her unintended tardiness. But Beth becomes intrigued by the strange new ring on Miss Gold's finger. A ring that has a face inside of it. Though Miss Gold says it's a flaw in the ring, that the jewel inside has a cloudy reflection that can sometimes cause a face to be seen. She says she found it in the school parking lot and that it's been stuck on her hand ever since putting it on.

At art class, Beth tries to draw hands, but given the hell that usually entails, isn't good at it. Made no better with Anthony painting Beth's head with an ugly face, in case you needed further proof that this kid sucks. Beth asks Danny to model his hands for her work, which at least there's no pianos involved with that, Anthony mocks the two some more, causing Danny to attack him. The teacher breaks it up, and Anthony lies about being an innocent victim, getting Danny in trouble and Beth even more steamed. Afterwards, Danny and Beth talk about how much they hate Anthony when they then see Miss Gold in her classroom, face weirdly twisted, and the chalkboard being filled with the words "THE CARNIVAL IS DOOMED". I can't believe it. The villain is Bart Simpson!

Though Miss Gold has no idea who could have done it, and the fact this is concerning, Beth and Danny clean the chalkboard for her. Anthony is there as well, but says that he has chalk allergies, so it can't be him, despite having chalk all over his hands. The next day, after some arguing with Amanda and learning she has a cow eyeball in her room, which is for a project but is still concerning, Beth checks on the bird, which she names Chirpy, only to see it's still not doing too well. She then gets a phone call, and the voice on the other end is whispery, warning Beth to not go to school. This is more of a Fear Street gimmick than Goosebumps, so it's weird to have a whispery call here. She then sees Amanda on another phone and assumes it must have been her.

Beth and Danny arrive to the school art room to continue work on the carnival art sale, but find everything destroyed. Look, I can't claim that a ventriloquist dummy was involved, but this is one of his calling cards. Everything is destroyed... except for Anthony's picture of Beth. That's cue for Anthony to show up and again claim innocence. Another girl working the carnival, Tina Crowley, also heard about all of this and isn't too thrilled either. After they work on some more art to replace the destroyed ones, the kids then head to home ec to make cookies for the carnival. As they prepare the cookies, suddenly they smell smoke and see the cookies have been burned. And once again, they spot Anthony who again claims innocence.

That night, after checking on Chirpy, Beth gets attacked by Amanda as a prank. She really wants Beth to take her to the petting zoo and organize her Barbie collection, to which Amanda promises to do so after the carnival. However, that night she wakes up to find the cow eyeball in her bed. The next day, they check the food given to them for the bake sale after the whole incident the previous day, but when Beth eats a brownie, she soon spits it out and vomits (because it wouldn't be Series 2000 without vomit), seeing that the brownie has maggots inside. So we're cribbing Bone Chillers now, huh? They test the dunk tank, with Danny getting knocked into it, only for him to panic as the water in the tank is boiling hot. So, we're cribbing the Cheerleaders books now?

With Danny injured, Miss Gold thinks to cancel the carnival, but it's apparently too late as it's still happening that night. Speaking of which, we finally get to the carnival. And for a bit, everything is fine. And then R.L. Stine took a hit of acid and we finally enter weird town. A hooded figure enters the carnival, suddenly the gym shakes and the dunk tank explodes with hot water. There's a swarm of wasps, the food table catches fire, the stranger grabs Amanda and carries her out. Beth tries to save her, but no luck. Cops arrive and break down the gym door, allowing people to escape. They turn their attention to the hooded figure, who removes the hood to reveal Miss Gold. She swears it wasn't her, but they don't believe her because... well... come on.

As the cops take Miss Gold away, Beth sees that the ring Miss Gold wore fell off. As she looks at it, she doesn't even realize she puts it on her finger, which gets stuck. At home, while watching a report on the carnival fiasco, we learn Miss Gold is in a hospital for testing. Safest bet it's a mental hospital, but I guess we can't say that part in a Goosebumps book. Regardless, Beth hopes to talk with Miss Gold about how to get the ring off. And then we get a nightmare and, hand to god, this may be front runner for biggest WTF moment I've read in Series 2000 and that's definitely saying something. Beth dreams she's surrounded in darkness, she soon enters the school gym and is surrounded by ducks. But the ducks have human faces, including one that looks like Danny. Beth then grabs the Danny duck and tears its head off before saying that the blood will loosen the ring then proceeds to soak her hands in the duck blood. Maybe that whole "Stine taking acid" comment wasn't unfounded. 

Beth wakes up after... that... to discover her room's been torn apart. She chalks it up to the dream, then heads to the hospital to speak to Miss Gold. When she does, Miss Gold says she has no idea what happened, but she must have been the one to do everything in the book so far. She then sees the ring on Beth's finger and freaks out, telling her to leave and to get rid of the ring as soon as possible. Beth leaves, then looks into the ring, almost hypnotized. After heading home with Amanda, Beth is more aggressive toward her, mocking her Barbie collection. They meet with Danny who mentions there's a bike-a-thon coming up because we need another big disaster in the book, I guess.

Anthony shows up and mocks Beth some more. As everyone goes to school, Beth stops and when the coast is clear, destroys Anthony's bike. She then finds his sunglasses on the ground and breaks them as well. She then sprinkles the remains on his desk for added effect. When Anthony arrives, he freaks out about it. But since Beth has a reputation for being a goody-goody, he doesn't suspect her. Turns out that's not all of Beth's evilness to come out as she shoves a kid in a locker and locks him inside, then puts a mouse in the vat of cafeteria soup. This might be the most animal abuse in a Goosebumps book and that is saying something. Stine was pent up. Though the mouse isn't killed, so that's a plus.

Later, Beth breaks all of Amanda's Barbie dolls, then claims innocence despite no one else possibly being able to. Though the idea of someone breaking in just to break Barbie dolls is chuckleworthy. But Beth begins to realize that the face in the ring must be real and the ring is causing her to do evil deeds. She can soon hear the monster in her head, telling her that she can't get rid of him and that he'll make her do even more evil deeds. Some time passes with Beth still pranking Amanda and other kids until the bike-a-thon arrives. There she sees Anthony with a new bike and still being a pain in the butt, so Beth now thinks to sabotaging him again by removing his brakes. Only if she did that, there's a chance for a ton of collateral damage if Anthony wipes out. Of course, given her state, she loves that idea.

Beth manages to stop herself from sabotaging the bike and heads home, the ring now burning on her finger. She heads to the workshop and finds Chirpy dead. Stine really was pent up. She tries to pry the ring off, but the heat becomes intense. A smoky figure rises from the ring and berates her. The monster in the ring says that he possessed Miss Gold to do his bidding. But when the time was right, he slipped off her finger and soon found himself with Beth, making her his new pawn. Beth is frustrated and is about to literally saw her finger off, but then notices the dead bird and manages to get the ring off her finger and on to Chirpy. This seemingly kills the spirit once and for all.

TWIST ENDING

After Beth buries Chirpy, her mom and Amanda come home. Amanda is thrilled to show Beth the new ring she has. It's black, and has a face in it. 

CONCLUSION

I'll say it up front. Horrors of the Black Ring is a better Revenge R Us. I mean, it's not exactly a Herculean feat, but I find this book at least has a more interesting idea in its core when it comes to revenge and how it can turn you into a literal monster. So a bit more Haunted Mask than anything, but when you're cribbing one of the better books and you're still stronger than one of the worst, that's a worthy enough accolade. What I also think works in its favor is a heavier focus on horror and straight up insanity. And you can win my heart when you just go insane. And that carnival scene was definitely that. Though sadly it also is the climax of the book. Anything that Beth does when she gets the ring never even comes close to Miss Gold and the carnival. Maybe Stine had planned a bigger climax with the bike-a-thon, but couldn't make it work well enough, so we rush to the ending. And with the story a scant 108 pages, there might be fuel to that fire.

And that speaks to the entirety of the second act really. We never get to have much fun with the idea of a possessed Beth. A few moments, but so many other crazy things just mentioned briefly as we move to the conclusion. It's interesting that I used the Cheerleaders analogy earlier as the final act feels like Cheerleaders: The Third Evil. Our protagonist becomes possessed by an evil spirit and does evil deeds. Though points to Black Ring, not even Cheerleaders 3 had a protagonist planning to cut off their finger if they needed to. This might also be the darkest book I've read as well. Multiple dead animals, bug-filled food, a kid being scalded, demonic possession, THAT DUCK HEAD NIGHTMARE. There's definitely a feel of an effort in making this book scary. And some of it does work, while some just feels there overall.

Beth is an okay protagonist. Presented as a goody two-shoes, but not enough throughout the book to really make her turn to the dark side more of a stark contrast. She's not exactly Carly Beth level. The ring is also interesting as we really have no idea the history of this thing. How it's cursed with a monster inside, or how it even ended up in the parking lot. Or, given the twist, who is even manufacturing them and how easily they're distributed. Like, does the town have an occult Claire's or something? I do feel that any explanation would have helped at least a little, but I can't say it breaks the book either, so... eh? Anthony works as a villain as well as he's real easy to hate. Danny mostly exists as does Amanda for the most part. 

So, overall, I liked this one. It's not exactly the freshest book, and Stine would even return to the idea with Son of Slappy, the twist kind of stinks and it feels like it peaks too quickly and a lot is just on the cutting room floor. But there's also enough insanity to at least make it entertaining, so I can't fault it for that. A solid enough recommend is the fairest assessment. Horrors of the Black Ring gets a B.