NNtG: Ghosts of Fear Street #19: Three Evil Wishes

Time to pop open another edition of Ghosts of Fear Street. We have wishes and genies to deal with this time. Wish based stories have always been wonky, especially when Stine is (more or less) involved. So we have absolutely no idea what to expect. But maybe we'll get a decent book. Or maybe I should keep wishing. It's Three Evil Wishes.

COVER STORY

This cover is super busy, but still good. We have our magic bottle, our protagonist (with a decent enough shocked kid face), the wispy smoke from the bottle becoming more mystical looking as it rises and, two giant green hands ready to do something. There's also this weird wrinkly thing with the middle of the art that I don't know if that's intentional or something happened to the art, but it looks a little distracting, but not cover breaking. Overall, another solid Steadman work.

STORY

We open with our protagonist, Hannah, working on a sculpture of her younger stepbrother, Jesse. Again, I just think of the clay head and Lionel Richie. Jessie arrives and is upset about his ruined sneakers. Turns out he was the victim of Mike and Roy, the Burger brothers. A pair of bullies who are described as looking like walruses and being super large. Because subtlety in these books is a foreign concept. You know, maybe drawing attention to their weight is why you get bullied. Just saying. You're no angels. Yes, I know, I know. Mid-90s. They hear a noise and worry it's the Burger brothers. Their dog, Barky, runs outside, but instead of Burger brothers, it's the three year old girl next door. So crisis averted.

The two head out to Fear Lake, but get confronted by the Burger Brothers, who play skipping stones... with Hannah and Jesse's backpacks. After the two bullies leave, the kids get their backpacks out of the water, but Hannah finds something else. An old bottle with a cork in it. Reader beware, you found some booze. Or no, as it seems like something is inside the bottle, perhaps of the genie persuasion. The bottle also gets warmer. Jesse notices the bottle, and reads the words "Do Not Open" on the side. Which, they  don't. The end. 

CONCLUSION

Three Evil Wishes is an interestingly short book that speaks on the evils of bullying and not to touch random bottles you find in the water. The characters are interesting and...

Oh, we're far from done. Right.

Hannah thinks it's wise to heed the advice of the label, but Jesse's interest has piqued. He opens the bottle, which emits a foul smell. Purple clouds start to form, with an old purple man soon emerging from it. He smells bad and is a bit arrogant, so less of the Robin Williams charm. He's been in that bottle for a hundred years and is cramped and stinky. Hannah and Jesse are confused, but the genie tells them that they're his new masters. He introduces himself All-Powerful Magical Genie of the Lost Kingdoms of the Great and Golden Raj, or Gene for short. 

Gene tells the kids that he'll give them three wishes, though if they're evil wishes, we'll just have to wait and see. Jesse is excited, but Hannah is pensive. They did find the bottle in Fear Lake, which has a history of evil things happening there. I mean, most of Fear Street has that distinction, so she's not wrong there. But Jesse's sure it'll all be fine. But Hannah gives in and the two whisper what they should wish for. This angers Gene who makes the water in Fear Lake boil which, that should be more concerning. 

The two wish to be bigger and stronger than the Burger Brothers. Suddenly, smoke surrounds Hannah, which causes her to grow to about eight feet tall, tearing her clothes which, that's also very concerning and I wish these books would stop doing that. Jesse is normal size for some reason, but thinks that a mega Hannah is more than enough to make whoppers out of the Burger Brothers. Hannah is then attacked by a giant beast, which turns out to be Barky, so Gene either goofed, or intentionally screwed Jesse over. Hannah's not happy about being a twelve year old She-Hulk and wants this reversed, but Gene says it'll cost them a wish. When Hannah says that a snafu like this should be awarded a mulligan, Gene gets angry and chokes her with powerful hot air, before calming down and saying that "Sure, whatever, I'll turn you back", which he does.

After all of that, the siblings decide that maybe that's enough genie hijinks for one day and tell Gene to go back into the bottle. Gene decides against it, given, you know, "such a crick in the neck". He instead turns himself to a boy around their age so he can head home with them. Gene introduces himself to their parents and, despite the concerns as to why a child would have heartburn and a love of seltzer, it works. They head to Jesse's room where Gene notices Jesse's TV and starts dismantling it to learn how it works. Hannah thinks they should just make two quick wishes and get rid of him, but Jesse's not for that idea, thinking it's best to deal with the Burger Brothers first. Because wish #1 went so well. At dinner, Gene literally takes their whole pizza, rolls it up and eats it. Well that explains the heartburn at least.

Later that night, Hannah works on the sculpture some more, only for the Burgers to show up and destroy it. Which, yeah, they suck for doing that, but why make the model where people can just show up and ruin it? Either way, Hannah is now ready for that revenge. She talks with Jesse over possible ideas. Turn them into bugs, which is a bit too Kafka-esque. Make them fatter, which is a dumb idea. How about fusing them to their skateboards, which is both decent body horror, but, like, that might make them faster. So the wish becomes making the Burgers scared of them. No body horror, no triggering a kid's early macrophilia, just make the Burger Brothers scared of plain old Hannah and Jesse. What could possibly go wrong?

They go to school the next day and find it odd that there's no sign of the Burger brothers. They do see Corny and Gabby from Nightmare in 3D, still looking at 3D posters. I'm more used to continuity in proper Fear Street, but neat. In fact, nobody has seen the Burger brothers. According to Jesse and Hannah's mom, the brothers just disappeared entirely. So we reach the point where our protagonists feel guilty over their abusers disappearing, though in this case, they are more to blame given they made the wish and all. And while they're abusive, the Burgers, you know... aren't Micah Brill. That and while the Burgers have been mean to them, you know, their mom's always been nice. Hannah feels they should talk to Gene about it, while Jesse still thinks this isn't that bad. 

As they talk with Gene about it, two bunnies show up in their driveway. It's Mike and Roy Burger, who have been turned into bunnies by Gene for some reason. Hannah tells him to change them back, but Gene's not budging this time. So they end up using their final wish which turns the Burgers back to normal. Hannah's at least glad it's over and they can get rid of Gene now, but Gene tells them that there's a snag to their plan. He's not going back into the bottle, one of them is. Yeah, he forgot to tell them that part, oh cruel fate. Hannah manages to stall for time, so Gene gives them until midnight to choose. After Gene leaves, they tell their parents, but they don't believe them because... like, dude. Given the kid scarfed an entire pizza in seconds and dressed like he's from the Amish country, you could at least find SOME of that plausible... but no, because Ghosts of Fear Street parents.

So, now double screwed, Hannah and Jesse think to just bury the bottle. However that fails as it just comes back. Gene shows up early, I guess because it's probably midnight somewhere, and forces them to choose. Hannah throws the bottle at the wall, shattering it. But that also doesn't matter as the bottle just reassembles itself. Gene leaves, telling them not to try and run away as it would be futile since, you know, he's a genie. They decide to run away anyway. What goes up must come down. Spinning wheel got to go 'round. 

As they head to Fear Lake again only for Gene to find them. He's about to put Hannah in the bottle when suddenly Mike and Roy Burger show up. Turns out they have a bone to pick with Gene after the whole bunny incident. They nab Gene in a net while Hannah and Jesse make a run for it, thanking them. When they makes it back home, Gene shows up because of course a net wouldn't keep him trapped. Hannah then says that Jesse is going into the bottle, by which she actually means the sculpture of Jesse. But, of course, Gene doesn't fall for that either. He points the open bottle at Hannah as a purple lightning bolt is shot at her. However, it ends up hitting a mirror and zapping Gene, causing the genie to be sucked back into the bottle. 

TWIST ENDING

Hannah and Jesse throw the bottle back into Fear Lake and celebrate. But suddenly Jesse finds an old oil lamp on the ground, and because he's got the brain of a lemming, decides to give it a rub. 

CONCLUSION

This one comes from Carolyn Crimi who has a bit of history with children's books, but also a history with Stine and ghostwriting. She was actually one of few known ghostwriters for the Tales to Give You Goosebumps books, with her story being Fun With Spelling. So she definitely has history with writing stories about the consequences of revenge. And, before we get into the book itself, yes, this too is a better Revenge R Us. Protagonists want revenge on a bully, learn they've gone too far, their need for fixing it is understandable, and the bullies end up not being so bad in the end. Actual character growth. Definitely a sign that this wasn't done by Stine.

Hannah and Jesse are decent protagonists. Hannah being the more reasonable one while Jesse is more impulsive. More focused on wanting revenge without considering the consequences. And I also like that they get along, something that non-step-siblings barely do in most of these books. Gene is a fun antagonist. Has far more character than most villains in these books. He's arrogant, witty, cunning, and fun to have to deal with. He's also a trickster, willing to do whatever it takes to be free while still screwing over his masters. And the Burger brothers, while hit with a lot of stereotypes and mockery of their weight, also end up not being so bad either. Maybe getting enough of a redemption in the end, even though, again, it was Hannah and Jesse that turned them into bunnies.

And that's the one issue I really have with this book (well, aside from the wet fart twist). The wishes really never get much of a chance to be fun. The giant Hannah stuff could have been interesting, but gets shooed away before we do anything with it. The bunny Burger brothers is a bit more used, and plays into their redemption, but also barely gets much. And hell, we don't even get a third wish. So, this is more Two Evil Wishes. Or even Two Evil Wishes, One Mulligan and One Wish That Existed. But that would be a bit too much for a book spine to handle. So the issues with these wish stories working for kids horror still is shown to not be all that amazing. So Be Careful What You Wish For... wasn't an outlier. And that twist. Woof.

So overall we have a book that's got a neat idea, decent protagonists and a fun villain, but just crashes and burns in making these ideas work all that well. It's a better parable on revenge than most, but also just lacking in anything to make it stand out as a top tier book. So ultimately a super light recommend. Three Evil Wishes gets a B-.