The Stinal Countdown: The Definitive Ten #04: One Day at HorrorLand

Even the happiest places on earth can be the scariest. Hell, theme parks are already scary enough as it is. The tension of a ride possibly going wrong and costing someone their lives, a park filled with creepy mascots in costumes, the general fear of being lost in such a large place. Or that maybe those in charge of the park aren't quite who they appear to be. Horror and theme parks maybe aren't as prevalent as evil dolls or science gone mad, but there are examples. The best being 1976's Westworld where an amusement park goes haywire and the androids run amok. And before that, Pleasure Island from Pinocchio. Presented as a place of wonder and every kid's dream made manifest, only to be a horrific trap as the kids are turned into donkeys for the cruel Coachman. 

And of course there's a slightly more notable reference for theme parks gone wrong with Michael Crichton's Jurassic Park which, when you line up the timeline would have seen its theatrical film release over half a year before the 16th Goosebumps book hit shelves. A book that is both one of the most memorable books while still feeling like missed opportunities, and perhaps being where Goosebumps' very style changed for seemingly the worse. Not the brightest introduction for a book that I still consider a definitive ten, huh? Save your e-ticket, It's One Day at HorrorLand. 

The strength of One Day at HorrorLand comes immediately with its cover artwork. Perhaps one of the absolute best covers in the entire series. A mix of the seemingly calm and normal amusement park in the background juxtaposed with the giant monster sign. Details like the claws tearing into the sign make for another example of the fun with the frightening that shines in Tim's artwork. Tim Jacobus has stated that he doesn't use much black for his artwork, often choosing to go for deeper blues and purples for coloring. And with this cover in particular, that was a brilliant choice, giving us finer details like the shading on the grass and the tree along with hazy clouds and the bright setting sun. Purdy is the word that pops into my head with this cover.

The plot sees the Morris family, mom, dad, Lizzy, Luke and Luke's friend Clay, lost in the middle of nowhere trying to find the Zoo Gardens park. They end up finding HorrorLand instead. But when they leave their car, it explodes like some sort of mob hit. At first, the park seems rather normal aside from the rather creepy mascots all around the park called Horrors. The rides at the park are just as creepy. A doom slide that goes on for eternity, a house of mirrors that compresses and traps the kids inside and a river ride called the Coffin Cruise where the family are trapped in bug-filled coffins floating to an uncertain fate.

And that's kind of it. For a book about an amusement park, the actual attractions fell pretty mediocre. The book mentions a roller coaster, but it's out of order. Funnily enough one of the original concept covers from Tim Jacobus featured a roller coaster. But I can forgive it given what we soon learn about HorrorLand. It's not really a theme park at all, but instead a hidden camera show for the Monster Channel. As it turns out, the horrors are really monsters and HorrorLand is all a front to get unsuspecting families to compete in a game show. Prize is a new car while failure is quick and sudden death. And that reveal gives us one of the more harrowing last acts in any Goosebumps book, bucking the normal trend of the parents not having any real involvement in a story's progression other than to not believe their kids. So that alone holds it in the highest regard for me.

The Horrors are also interesting as villains, though outside of this book and maybe the sequel, they ultimately feel like background players. Especially in HorrorLand which gives us two human villains for both arcs. As such we really know very little about them or where they came from. Though, admittedly, that's not a bad thing either. We don't need every creature's full backstory. Not to mention in the Collector Caps book, the book implies that they may be burn victims? That the park caught fire decades prior and the people involved disappeared before HorrorLand soon arrived. Might explain the main way to defeat them in this book, that being pinching. Though honestly, I'm glad that's not the origin that seems to be stuck to. Ambiguous goat horn monsters are more interesting than humans who need a skin graft badly.

So let's talk about those protagonists. Before we get to the Morrises, we'll cover our old friend Superfluous Clay first. I've coined the term "Superfluous Clay" because of this kid due to the fact that he feels so unnecessary to the events of the book. That if he were removed, nothing about the book's flow would change in the slightest. His addition adds nothing nor does him not existing subtract anything either. A perfect balance of sheer existence. And while he does return in the direct sequel, he vanishes into the ether after that, not returning for the HorrorLand books.

In essence, the Morris family are pretty much your stock characters with very little uniqueness in comparison to most GB protagonist families. Lizzy is the older sister and the POV of the story, the one who is the more rational and serious of the two. Luke is the younger brother so his character is bratty prankster, though given his love of pinching is the trope that saves the day, it at least makes more sense here. Mom and Dad are also fine, again the more rational parents that you usually don't get. Never a moment of not believing the kids, treating them like they're mentally unwell, or mocking them for their fears. It's super refreshing and a shame this is really the only true example of it.

I think while the park itself has some neat ideas, the lack of much of the super crazy rides you'd think would be in a park like this makes the book feel underwhelming in that scare department. What doesn't feel as lacking is the last act of the book. Where the Morris family (and Clay) have to fight for their survival while dealing with deadly monsters. It's actual harrowing stuff in a book series so often devoid of it. Them finding their way out and escaping via bus only to have a Horror hitch a ride and offer them tickets for next year is a solid twist. Although aside from the reasonings given in the direct sequel, why would they ever go back?

What makes One Day at HorrorLand feels like one of the more interesting books is the premise itself. How this park is really made to lure unsuspecting families into the park to use for a show on the Monster Channel, and the show ending in a big battle with monsters with the chances of the humans escaping being highly unlikely. So if you were looking for those big rides and disappointed, at least the last act succeeds there and cements what HorrorLand was all along. A literal tourist trap.

I mentioned earlier that this book may have been a harbinger for the quality of Goosebumps becoming shaky and it's not hard to see how. Around this same time was when supposedly Stine had outside help for his books. He's never admitted to the main books being ghostwritten, but has admitted to needing some help with outlines. And really this feel like the beginning of some of the worst traits. Kids making dumb decisions, parents being generally useless (outside of the ending of course), the books shying away from horror style of the early works in exchange for quick scares, lame fake out chapter stingers as well as shifting from one set piece to another to another without much time to digest it all. The first real "ride" book aesthetic that would become a staple for the series. It's not hard to see that with this book. It feels like a trope fest. But compared to many down the line, I think it still uses those tropes well within the context of the book. 

The legacy of One Day at HorrorLand is almost as impressive as Slappy's run. Return to HorrorLand would hit in the middle of the Series 2000 run and would be a direct sequel, bringing Lizzy, Luke and Clay back to HorrorLand by helping a pair of untrustworthy investigative reporters. In 2008, when Goosebumps returned after a near decade hiatus, Stine began this new era with the Goosebumps HorrorLand run. Nineteen (twenty with the survival guide) books set within the theme park itself. And both featuring an arching plot narrative throughout (the former more than the latter). The problem is still that the Horrors have still never been well built up and feel less important to other ideas Stine had. In this case The Menace in the first arc and Jonathan Chiller in the second. And that's where the saga of HorrorLand ended. 

Though in some other works adjacent to the books, HorrorLand has still been featured. In 1997, Escape From HorrorLand was a FMV point and click title based on One Day at HorrorLand, once again starring Lizzy, Luke and Clay. The Wii/PS2/DS game title Goosebumps HorrorLand as at least an extra item to keep the name alive. After the 2015 Goosebumps movie was a success at the box office, Rob Letterman had planned to focus the sequel on HorrorLand before leaving the project, which would then become Haunted Halloween. IDW would also feature HorrorLand prominently in their first Goosebumps comic, Monsters at Midnight. So, it's always been prevalent in the Goosebumps brand well after its first release in 1994.

And then there's the television adaptation. The first one on this Definitive Ten to really feel just different enough from the book while staying close enough. Most of the same attractions sans the Doom Slide and the Bat Barn (yes, a bat barn), Clay, like I said, was superfluous enough to just remove. The book ends again on the game show concept. Only the episode has more fun with the idea of the game show, turning it into a Wheel of Fortune/Let's Make a Deal hybrid. The book also gives a few Horrors a bit more character, while also falling into a few unfortunate stereotypes and dated references (ear of Holyfield). Fun trivia piece, Luke's actor, Michael Calosz, was the original voice actor for D.W. in Arthur. Now that's a bit neater than the Ryan Gosling trivia, huh?

I'd say the main reason that I would consider this book to be a Definitive Ten is that it's such an iconic Goosebumps work, both in cover and story. And while it may lack a lot of stuff to make the story feel more memorable than the imagery that no doubt would be in your head upon gazing the cover for the first time, I still think it still works incredibly well, especially for the intended kid demographic. The idea of a monster amusement park is something that would play into a kids' sensibilities and the idea of a place of wonder being a place of nightmares is just such a enticing idea. And Stine does his best with the idea given. Although honestly his better use of a theme park story was the first The Beast standalone book. That at least had a roller coaster that worked.

I'll be making a more detailed list on how I'd rank the definitive ten when we get there, but at the moment this is last place. But even with that thrust upon it, I still think it's a book that holds up how it needs to and still feels like a book that defines Goosebumps in both good and bad ways. Very much a representative of what the franchise would start to become the more it went forward, but still not feeling so in your face about that shift than other, lesser books do. It's a scary misadventure, but you still might enjoy the ride.