Point By Numbers: The Girlfriend

Last year we covered The Boyfriend and it was interesting. And despite focusing on an unlikable character and a twist that kind of falls apart over time, I still gave it an A- and left enjoying it. So of course I was going to do Stine's follow-up. Though this one doesn't have any links to the previous book. I guess we'll never know if Joanna really changed her ways. Anyhoo, it's time for The Girlfriend.

We continue with the theming from The Boyfriend. A bloody flower and a note. I think I like this one more than the other as the bloody rose feels like a more striking image. Not really too much to say other than it's a visual that does work well enough.

We open the story as Scotty Singleton is with his girlfriend Lora DeMarco at her father's big party for the two of them. Why? Because they're both going to Princeton. Or, at least Lora is so far. Scotty hasn't gotten word yet, so he finds the party to be bogus. Turns out he says bogus a lot. Well, it is a 1991 book after all. Scotty's lived with his mother for years since his father left them, so he knows a bit about hardships. But he's been with Lora since sixth grade, and being with the most beautiful girl in school makes others jealous, which is a bit more of a bonus for him.

We learn that Scotty plays for the school football team. And, this being a Stine book, they're named the Tigers. One of his teammates, a tall kid named Bender, heads out to get pizza as this party's a drag. The only exciting thing was Lora's cat Fluffernutter (Eh, far from the worst name I guess) jumping on the table and making a mess. Mr. DeMarco then talks to Scotty, saying he bet that the Tigers will win the next game. He also says that when Scotty finishes Princeton, he'll have a job at his firm. So, you know, no pressure. Though Scotty is jealous of the DeMarcos. Especially since they're going on a European vacation without him.

As Scotty talks to Lora, they get scared by his seven year old brother Denny, who likes to call everyone stupid. Which, given Scotty's thing is constantly saying Bogus, I can't imagine their mother's catchphrase. After Denny leaves, Scotty talks about homecoming the next week. With Lora gone with her family, he won't be able to go with her there, so no last dance before they graduate and of course all the rumors that could spread. But Lora says it'll be fine and it's only going to be a week. What damage could Scotty do in a week? Well, we wouldn't have this book if he didn't, would we?

We get to the Tigers game, where despite a 0-9 first half, they win by the end. We also learn that Scotty has a Raiders cap that Lora gave him, which is his good luck charm. At the celebratory bonfire, the principal announces that the homecoming king and queen will be Scotty and Lora. Wait... did Lora not tell the principal she was taking the week off in Europe? Like, other than to be a big moment where Scotty gets embarrassed, nobody in the school, the students or the faculty, knew about the head cheerleader leaving for a week? Hell, nobody even noticed she wasn't at the game? Oh, this is janky writing even for Stine.

Embarrassed, Scotty runs off to his car, only to find a girl his age on the ground, one of her bike wheels punctured. She introduces herself as Shannon Smith. Scotty knows about her. That she started going to his school a year prior and seemed to be a loner. Usually alone at lunch. Scotty drives her home and she mentions living in the old village, which Scotty rarely goes to. She has three big brothers, including a pro wrestler brother named Kurt. Look, I get this was 1991, but the word "Angle" is going to pop up every time I think of this guy. As he drives her home, he then decides to take her out for a burger at Burger Basket. Which we definitely get later in Fear Street. Hey, another fast food chain he reuses. So it's not just Pete's Pizza. But, despite knowing he's still with Lora, he's starting to get weird feelings about Shannon.

They have their meal and chat for a bit before Scotty takes Shannon home. Now, he could just cut his losses here. It was a neat chance encounter and all. No need to be crappy to your good thing going with Lora, but of course he ends up asking Shannon out. The next day, he tries to avoid any conversation about the night before with Bender, and then they go to see Ernie. Thankfully not THAT Ernie or we'd be spending a book breaking up with him. No, Ernie is Scotty's pet tree snake. That night, Scotty and Shannon go to see a John Candy movie. With this book being in 1991, it could be Only the Lonely, Career Opportunities, Delirious or Nothing But Trouble. Or JFK maybe. Either way Scotty has to mention that Candy is "the fat one". 

They head to Shannon's house after the date and she kisses him all over and calls him her baby, which unless you're into that, I dunno... The next day, Lora is expected back from her vacation, so Scotty's happy about that. What he's not so excited about is that Shannon keeps calling him on the phone. Calling him baby, talking about wanting to be with him again, wanting to meet his family. And, I get this is supposed to be the "ooh, creepy stalker" stuff, but again. This is all Scotty's fault. I don't feel an ounce of sadness for his plight.

Lora calls Scotty later and he asks her out. This is still a problem given that Shannon is at his locker the next day, still calling him "baby". He eats lunch with Lora, but they both notice Shannon staring a hole through them from afar. Later, Shannon tries to get Scott to break up with Lora, and then threatens him by saying that her brothers won't like him dumping her like this. After finally getting rid of Shannon, Scotty notices a large man nearby and thinks it must be one of her brothers. This is made no better for Scotty when he learns that his front door window was smashed. He doubles down on trying to get rid of her by yelling to not call him again. Because this time she'll totally know you want her to stop. Like, even if this escalates, got to admit, I'm still on team Shannon here.

Lora talks with Scotty about his birthday coming up in a few weeks and the two go out for a bit. When Scotty comes home her finds his snake Ernie has been cut in half. Because Stine can't live unless an animal dies. I'm not getting back into that whole argument from First Date. Just noting how I saw that coming the second they mentioned Scotty had a snake. Though I will say, that's one way to break up with Ernie. Shannon calls him again, keeps calling him baby, then pretty much admits that she had Ernie killed. Scotty threatens to call the police, but Shannon says that she'll tell Lora and everyone else about what he's done. Like, Shannon's reaching full on creepy and all, but, again, all of this is on Scotty, so I don't feel any remorse.

Scotty tries to avoid Shannon some more. But on the next encounter, she again won't let go of him, to the point she literally breaks his hand, so no football for him. Bender is now aware of all of this and says they could call the cops, but Shannon would claim it was an accident. So, instead he suggests Scotty call her parents. That doesn't work because Shannon always answers. Scotty is about to go out with Lora, only to see Shannon and her brother hidden in the shadows and his car on fire. He goes to Shannon's tries to get her to quit it, but instead she sics her three brothers on him and he gets his ass handed to him. Of course he actually didn't, that was just our nightmare for the book. Lora comes over the next day, and the two find Scotty's Raiders cap in the backyard. And under it is Lora's cat Fluffernutter, dead. OH FUCK OFF, STINE.

We then go to the Junior Chamber of Commerce Autumn Ball, which Scotty's not to thrilled to be at. He just wants to run away from everything. Especially Shannon. Speaking of Shannon's she's outside claiming to be his date. She brawls with him for a bit then gets dragged off. To get her to leave, he promises to go out with her that Saturday. As he goes to clean up in the bathroom, one of Shannon's brothers shows up. He's about to tell him something, but Scotty runs off. He heads to Shannon's who keeps calling him baby and not listening to him when he wants to call this off. Frustrated, he freaking chokes out Shannon.

Scotty immediately realizes he screwed up. Not so much in killing Shannon, but how all of this could be the end of his life. His scholarship, his football aspirations, his relationship with Lora. Jeez, Shannon was right to keep calling him a baby. So, he takes her body and heads home to think about what to do, only to be surprised by a surprise party for him. So, now it's super awkward. As Scotty finally tries to tell Lora what's been going on, Shannon wakes up and grabs a ski pole, intent on stabbing him. However, her brother shows up. 

Only he isn't her brother, he's Lieutenant Jarmusch, juvenile division. Shannon doesn't have any brothers, or any family nearby. She's been doing time for murder. But got off on parole for good behavior. Shannon is taken away and Scotty and Lora are somehow still a couple after all of this. Even though, like, nah man, Scotty doesn't deserve a happy ending either. 

The Girlfriend is decent, but very formulaic. It doesn't really deviate from these types of stories in any unique ways, which is its real determent. You get the awful guy who cheats on his good thing girlfriend with another girl who ends up being the overly attached girlfriend meme 20 years earlier. And it leads to chapters where she does more and more deadly threats to get him to break up with his girlfriend until she's ultimately defeated. Stine does a fine enough  outline to make that work for a 160+ page book. But it's also frustrating that he again just uses animal abuse to be his big shock factors of the book. Eh, at least Scotty gets his hand broken.

Scotty sucks. He seems like a rotten rich white kid who thought he could get away with whatever he wants and never realized that actions have consequences. So yeah, while Shannon is revealed to be a maniac, I still weirdly feel worse for her for being mistreated by a rotten guy. So, sorry Stine. Your "bitches be crazy" attempt didn't work on me. As for Shannon, she works well as a villain. Doesn't break too many molds from this type of character, but still feels like a threat. One willing to eventually kill Scotty if she doesn't get her way. 

Now, I had a far more concerning worry about what the twist would have ended up being. We know Scotty's father left him years ago. And we don't know who Shannon's family is. I was worried the twist was going to be some bizarre incest shoe drop that they had the same dad. I have never been more glad that Stine didn't try that hard for a twist. But what we're left with is a serviceable book overall. Nothing overly special, slogs a bit midway, but otherwise gives you your fill for this brand of horror. Though when that horror is just animal death for shock value, it's not exactly the most glowing of examples.

I still feel The Boyfriend felt far fresher and interesting. One with a bad character who does feel like she changed by the end. I don't feel that way about Scotty. Like I said, Shannon was right to call him baby. It's weird when we end a story and I root for the yandere. The Girlfriend gets a B+.

It Was Acceptable in the 90s: "Bogus", Christie Brinkley comparisons, Raiders still in Oakland, Madonna aspirations, The new John Candy movie, Hard Rock Cafe apparel