Thursday, December 2, 2021

The Stinal Countdown: Goosebumps SlappyWorld #04: Please Do not Feed the Weirdo


Time for another trip into SlappyWorld, a series I've found very interesting, especially for Goosebumps. A lot of interesting ideas though not always the best executions. It's probably why this one interested me the least until I finally got around to covering it. That does sometimes actually lead to me finding a book I really liked, so maybe that'll be the case here. Or just the same old story, same old Stine. Let's find out with Please Do Not Feed the Weirdo.

I do like the cover though. Though given I love most of the SlappyWorld covers that's not a shocker. What works is how action packed it looks with our titular weirdo breaking free from its box. How the splinters fly off in every direction and how the one claw is reaching at the reader really makes for an enticing scene. Not to mention the intense eyes. So on that end, I consider this a win. 


Jordan Keppler and his sister Karla start our story in Carnival World  as Karla easily scares Jordan into thinking there's a spider on his cotton candy. Not only is Jordan an easy mark, but he's easily scared, which is a stark difference from Karla. Though he does brag about being better at everything else because modesty and Goosebumps protagonists do not mix. The kids arrive at the Tunnel of Fear. Karla's excited to go, but Jordan is terrified. But, ultimately, he's going in. It's your standard scary tunnel affair. Their car goes in the tunnel and things like skulls and caged vampires pop out for cheap scares. Suddenly, Jordan and Karla's car stalls and they hear a girl's scream further down the tunnel. They call for help when suddenly a skeleton grabs Jordan by the neck! Karla just thinks it's part of the attraction, despite, you know, it not making any sounds. 

After spending more time calling for help and not moving, Jordan and Karla eventually leave the car and check up ahead, only to find a boy's corpse! Of course, it's just a mannequin. And then Karla disappear-oh, wait, she just scared Jordan some more because we get it, Bob. Kid's not brave. They eventually make it out of the tunnel, but their parents are missing. They instead run into a man named Manny Ferber, the owner of the park. He apologizes for the Tunnel of Fear breaking down on them and gives them a pair of chocolate bars which are called "Choco-Caramel Nutty NutNut Bars". Wonder if they have nuts in them? 


As they still try to find their parents, Jordan notices a giant cage off to the side, as if it was for a zoo. The kids investigate and find a sign that says [[TITLE OF THE BOOK]]. Inside is a small boy who asks for help. He introduces himself as Robby Ferber, the son of the park owner. He says that his dad likes to lock him up in the cage as a kind of prank. He's also really hungry, so Karla offers him her bar, despite, you know, the frigging sign. Despite Jordan's warnings, Robby says that the sign is just for show, and who are you gonna trust, a warning sign or this suspicious kid you literally just met? But, after hearing Robby's stomach growl, even Jordan becomes dumb and says it shouldn't be a problem.

They give Robby the bars which he quickly eats. Turns out that, shocker, Robby was lying. But before he turns into our weirdo, he starts to vomit like a wave of orange puke because I guess it's been a bit since Stine added some random gross-out stuff. Robby then starts to grow green fur and get larger before he escapes the cage. Mr. Ferber panics, though isn't that shocked at how easily Robby tricked Jordan and Karla. So, if his kid was a threat, why bring him at all? Well, Mr. Ferber brought Robby with him while they waited for government agents to pick him up. Turns out that despite turning into a furry beast, Robby has another power, a chameleon power. He can turn into anyone else. So, safe bet Stine just gave us the twist ending already.


Jordan and Karla soon find their parents, but choose not to tell them about the whole "letting a monster loose" thing. When they arrive home, Jordan enters his room, only to find Robby inside. Robby apologizes for what happened at Carnival Worried and Jordan foolishly forgives him, then feeds him again because holy crap this kid is dense. Robby eats, pukes again and turns into a monster, tearing apart the kitchen in the process. The rest of the family see the damage, but not Robby since he can disguise himself. He tells his family about Robby the weirdo and they don't believe him because Goosebu-oh wait, they actually do?? Given they were at Carnival World when things went south, they actually have a reason to believe their kids.

The family return to Carnival World to get answers from Mr. Ferber about where Robby could be. As they pass the Tunnel of Fear they hear the wicked laughter of a woman, but still choose not to investigate it. They meet with Mr. Ferber who acts very suspicious and says that Robby's been captured again and there's no need to worry about it. So, they just head home. And sure enough, later that night, Robby shows up again. So, of course, they let him in the house. Robby apologizes again, then tells them that the Mr. Ferber they saw at Carnival World was him disguised as Mr. Ferber. He then says he's hungry. Only this time, Jordan and Karla are on to him. They promise Robby food, then try to subdue him, but no luck as Robby escapes again.


The next day, Jordan and Karla run into Mr. Ferber, the real one this time. And, props to these kids for actually starting to clue in, they think it's just Robby again. So, Mr. Ferber eats a banana and doesn't puke or turn feral, so it's the real deal. He also says that because the kids freed Robby, he's been hanging around them because he thinks he belongs to them. He hands them a card with his number and leaves. They then run into one of Jordan's friends, a kid named Bernardo, who is described essentially as "fat and disheveled". He asks the kids for a Fruit Roll-Up and because forget what I said about clueing in, Jordan does so. But, turns out Bernado's legit.

They arrive in school where conveniently there's a new student in class named Liam Nathan, and Jordan is already suspicious. This is no doubt Robby in disguise. Jordan has to tell a true story in class, so of course he talks about the events at Carnival World with a monster, which he doesn't get believed about. He also continues to pay attention to how Liam reacts to the story, at one point Liam even jumps out of his chair, but claims it was because of a bee. After Jordan finishes his story, his teacher, Ms. Foreman, fails him for not telling the truth because Goosebumps teachers. When he tries to warn her about Liam, she mentions that she didn't eat anything today and is really hungry. Another kid in class named Shonda gives her something to eat before Jordan can stop her. Burp, vomit, transformation, Ms. Foreman was Robby all along. Well now Jordan just looks like a jerk suspecting the new kid, huh?

Jordan tries to fight Robby, but this doesn't work because it's a kid fighting a giant feral beast. A giant feral beast that literally tears at Jordan's clothes, tearing them all off except thankfully his underwear. Been a long while since we got a real "What the hell, Bob" moment like this. After his mom comes with clothes for him, they finally talk to the cops about Robby. Just then, Robby attacks a police car and chucks it. Hey, maybe he's not that bad after all. He then punches out the principal's office window then runs off. Jordan's mom tells him and Karla to stay in the school until it's safe and heads off.


After the coast is clear, Jordan and Karla head home along with Liam. Jordan apologizes for the whole "I thought you were the monster" thing, to which Liam says "Nah, I am the monster" and attacks them. He tells them that they need to take better care of them and to constantly feed him, even if it's just going to lead to more attacks. He then takes them back to their house so he can have dinner. He also tells them not to reveal who he is or else he'll put them all in danger. So, points to Robby for planning this all through. The ruse goes on long enough, until Robby attacks Mr. Keppler and eats the hamburgers right off the grill. Burp, vomit, transformation and here we go again.

Mr. Keppler tries to attack Robby, but gets knocked down. Robby then takes the barbecue grill and knocks it over, almost setting the whole backyard on fire before running off again. Jordan then decides to talk to Mr. Ferber and tells him his idea. Lure Robby with a bunch of food, then drop a giant net on him. That night, Robby shows back up and is again apologetic. He even says he'll definitely stay away from the big picnic  tomorrow, AKA the big plan. 


Jordan and his classmates go to the picnic at Carnival World and wait. And wait. There doesn't seem to be any sign of Robby. That is, until Jordan ends up back at the Tunnel of Fear, where he finds himself in another car. It's Robby in disguise. Mr. Ferber and the others show up with the net, and throws it... at the real Jordan. So the book ends with Jordan in a cage. No one will believe him that he's real, or even give him anything to eat. Wait, so, the book ends with a kid literally starving to death in a cage. Wacky monster aside, this book coming out in 2018 and ending with kids in cages was a case of being a bit too real, Bob.


This one isn't too bad. What saves this book from feeling mundane is adding the chameleon element to Robby's powers. The fact that he could be anyone at any time does give the book enough mystery and makes the misdirects actually work. Granted, the twist is kind of lame. We just take one Jordan's word for it. We don't, say, capture both, put them in a situation where neither can escape, then test them? No? Just going to not try, huh? And, Robby will eat again. So this disguise won't last. He's going to cause mayhem again, making not even testing the two seem like a really dumb thing to do. This really feels like Stine's ready to peace out, so the twist is what it is. Though the dark ending does at least work fine, it just feels like there are elements missing to make it make sense. Also, the whole woman's laughter thing just never matters either. Like, was that going to be more than just the effects from the Tunnel and Stine had no idea what to do with it? Wouldn't surprise me.

Jordan's a decent protagonist, nothing special. Karla just kind of exists until the second half, feeling like she doesn't matter by book's end. I do appreciate the parents actually believing their kids and having actual agency in what's going on. Not to mention the book is full of action, and as previously mentioned, the chameleon powers help this book flow instead of feel like a slog to read. I do kind of wish though that we had more chances to play up Robby being an imposter. I also find it interesting that this book came out just before Among Us became a big hit. Stine was giving us the "sus" meme before it became a meme. Man's always on the cusp.

In the end, I love a lot of the book's idea, but feel like something's just missing to make it one of the best ever. And I really wish the build to the twist ending worked better (and yes, I know seeing unfortunate parallels to the actual human rights issue that's still happening by the way involving ICE and kids in cages is a me thing, but at this point, are you surprised?). But, one thing's for sure, when the sign says "do not feed the weirdo", man you'd better not feed the weirdo.

STORYGGG
SCARES: GGG.5
TWIST: GG
ENJOYMENT: GG.5
OVERALL: 2.5 Gs

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