Point by Numbers: Hit and Run

Time for yet another trip into the Point series, and yet another R.L. Stine appearance. And it's one I'm definitely a bit interested in. But given in the past few months I've unraveled how he's not a very good mystery writer, it makes me a bit wary. But only one real way to find out. Time to hit the road and experience Hit and Run.

I like the cover. Very simplistic, but it sells the book pretty well. I like the positioning of the outline, as well as the blood splatter. I also love the sunset colors in the above area. It isn't as super crazy as some of these horror covers can get, but it does exactly what it needs to.

Cassie Martin is our protagonist. We learn she has had three male friends since she was a kid. One, Scott Baldwin, she has a crush on. He's your stock jock character of these stories. Another friend of hers is Bruce Winkleman, or "Winks" as he's called. Oh god, good odds this kid would be called "Twinks" by some bully. But Winks is a bit of joker, often liking to pull pranks on their other friend Eddie Katz, who because he's so easy to scare is called "Scaredy Katz". Winks' whimsical jape this time involves an eyeball that he got from his Eddie's cousin Jerry who runs a morgue. Oh, I think I already know where this book is going five pages in, but let's see if I'm wrong on this.

Eddie arrives and Winks performs his prank, which is the old "pull out the eyeball' gag. As they take pictures of Eddie's reaction, he passes out. The others panic for a moment, thinking he's dead, but that's not the case at all. Eddie recovers and is about to leave, but Winks suggests the foursome practice their driving. Using Scott's parents' car, they take their drive. Eddie is worried, especially given they don't have licenses yet, but Scott drives them up to the mall. Then it's Eddie's turn to drive. Winks, being just the worst, scares Eddie, causing the car to spin out for a moment, but nobody's hurt. At least not yet.

The other three get a good laugh out of it, which is enough for Eddie to exit the car and leave. The three chase after him and convince him to come back into the car. Only for Scott to drive fast and pretend the brakes were shot. Oh god, Eddie aside, I hate these kids already. Which will probably make the most obvious outcome a little cathartic. After all of that, Scott and Cassie go shopping at the mall the following Saturday. Winks arrives to tell them that at school the previous day, Eddie's pants were stolen so he had to go to class in his gym shorts. Scott and Winks get a good laugh at it, while Cassie does at least feel bad for Eddie. Though Winks justifies it by saying that there's a kid like Eddie in every class that everyone likes to dump on. Because that's a good enough reason to torment someone.

They all go to Eddie's later and once again suggest a joyride. Eddie says it'll be fine to use his parents' car, so long as they don't pull any more jokes on him. They promise, but given the track record, we know that's a load of bunk. So they all go for a drive despite, again, being paranoid about being caught with no licenses. But sure enough, no pranks this time. But unfortunately for the foursome, a man walks into the road. The four are unable to stop the car in time and we have the "Hit" portion of our book title. Before we continue on that, we get a memory of Cassie as a kid. She had a kitten named Fluffy. A cat that was run over by a car. Because this is R.L. Stine and he hasn't met a pet he couldn't abuse.

Back to the incident. Everyone is in a panic, especially Eddie, since this man definitely seems pretty dead. Winks checks the wallet to find the man's name is Brandt Tinkers. Oh, was his nickname "Tink" too, Bob? Since Eddie was last behind the wheel, he is the one freaking out the most. And we get to the "And Run" part of the title as Winks suggests they bail. Scott ultimately agrees, as does Eddie, though he's shaken and Cassie isn't super crazy on this. But they ultimately pull him off the road and drive off. And when they drive to Eddie's, they see two officers out front. They talk to the cops, but this isn't about the hit and run of course, but that Eddie just left his door open.

That night, Cassie has a nightmare of driving down the street over a whole bunch of large bumps, which she fears are dead bodies. Two days pass and there's no news reports about the body. It's enough for Winks and Scott to be relieved, but Eddie is still bothered and Cassie wants to find out for herself if the body is still there. Eddie calls his cousin Jerry at the morgue to which he does mention a body being brought the previous night. And also the cops are trying to find a lead as to who killed Brandt Tinkers. Now even more panicked, Eddie says he'll turn himself in and won't implicate the others, but they tell him to wait it out a few days and this will surely blow over. Suddenly, Jerry calls again to tell them that Brandt Tinkers' body has disappeared. As if he left the morgue on his own.

At school the next day, Eddie begins to suspect that the missing body was because of Winks. Since we know he'll take an eyeball, but could he take a whole corpse? We also get our reminder that kids pick on Eddie and call him Scaredy Katz, which was something Winks started, so in case you needed reminding after a couple paragraphs that Winks sucks the big one, here you go. But Winks doesn't have the corpse, especially considering he got grounded for still holding on to the eye. That night, Cassie gets a phone call, supposedly from Brandt Tinkers, who speaks in a raspy voice that they can't run away.

The next day, it turns out Eddie got the same phone call. Cassie chalks it up to being a prank caller since how could the dead be making phone calls? But Eddie's convinced that this means someone knows what happened. Neither Scott nor Winks got the call, and they think Eddie's just being Eddie. That night, Eddie calls Cassie to come over to his house where he shows her a hat that he claims was stuck to his front door with a note that read "Hats off to the driver who killed me". The following Thursday, both Eddie and Winks get the phone call. So Cassie assumes it's still a prankster, but who?

Cassie heads over to Winks' the next day, but his mother says that he left for her place. On her way there, she finds Winks on the ground in bad shape. A victim of a hit and run. And not a joke or jape this time, kid got legit run over. Oh no Winks, I feel so bad... . Winks is taken to the hospital where he has a broken arm, broken ribs and some internal injuries, but he'll live. When they get to Eddie's, he's once again sure that this was intentional, but Cassie wants to believe otherwise. Just a coincidence, that's all. A coincidence that almost murdered their friend, but you know, nothing to call the cops over. They then find yet another note saying "One Down, Three to Go". And with it is a polaroid photo of Mr. Tinks behind the wheel of Scott's parents' car. 

Later that night, Cassie thinks she knows what's going on. I mean, the corpse was in Scott's car, Scott hasn't been around much, supposedly having the flu. Scott's the one acting suspicious. So of course it must have been Jerry! Though, in Cassie's defense, Jerry has access to the morgue, and maybe Jerry knows what happened to Brandt and is getting revenge for him. Wouldn't explain why he'd run Winks down, but, show of hands, who wouldn't want to run Winks over? 

Cassie and Eddie head to the morgue to find out more. What they do find is Jerry covered in blood, looking pretty dead. But, of course, a la Winks, this was all just a joke. And then he tickles the feet of corpses to bother Eddie. Okay, maybe Winks isn't the weirdest asshole in this book. I mean he did get the eye from Jerry after all. They mention the Brandt Tinkers stuff and show him the evidence. Jerry doesn't say much and does seem a bit suspicious. But nothing to fully pin him on this. A bit later on, Cassie notices someone in a raincoat running from her house. I swear if he has a hook hand... the man left a note for her, saying that she's next. Oh, so it's Bill Goldberg then.

Cassie calls Scott, but ends up getting his mother instead, since Scott's still got that flu. But when she goes to check on Scott, he's disappeared. Cassie has a nightmare of a black car chasing her and running her down, So, now Cassie does believe it's Scott, but doesn't want to given her attraction to him. While this goes down, Cassie ends up getting her driver's license. And, despite, you know, all the car stuff, Eddie really want her to drive him around and help him study for his upcoming test, in a totally "that's not suspicious at all" away. They drive for a bit until the tire blows out. Cassie goes out to get the spare, but finds something else in the trunk. Brandt Tinkers.

Yup, it was Eddie the whole time. Quelle surprise. Eddie was sick of the jokes, sick of being mistreated, so he set this whole plan up. You see, Brandt Tinkers has been dead a lot longer than when they ran over him. This was all part of his set up to get back at them. Jerry took the corpse of a homeless man and set it up at the right time for the hit and run to happen. To make the others feel guilty for once. And, oh yeah, he ran over Winks as well. So, he's not all bad. But now it's Cassie's turn to suffer. He gets in the car and prepares to run over Cassie. But before he can run her down, Scott shows up and rams into the car, stopping it. 

Scott and Jerry exit the car and we know why Jerry looked so concerned. He did indeed help Eddie out, but when he saw the pictures and the threats, he knew Eddie was going too far. As for Scott, he was apparently sleepwalking due to his fever, so that's why he wasn't around that night. Jerry subdues Eddie and tells him that he'll be getting some help. Scott and Cassie breathe a sigh of relief, but when they look back for the corpse, it's gone! And so we end the book with the three kids who bullied and pranked a kid with poor mental health being happy to no longer have to deal with this. Then Jerry shows up with the corpse again to scare them, and then scare Winks' mom because, you know, nothing funnier than using the corpse of a human being as a practical joke. 

There are a few issues I have with Hit and Run, but it's overall an okay take on this kind of story. Said it before, I'll say it again. R.L. Stine is not a good mystery writer. When you can tell where this book is headed in its first five pages, that's not a good sign. And, overall, the book just feels very paint by numbers. Very much in line with this type of story which is far from original. Stine's spin really adds nothing new to the concept. Except for maybe adding people who are way, WAY too comfortable screwing around with dead bodies. Which, I guess works for the horror, but ultimately comes off as pretty gross in a lot of ways. And even Stine trying to sell it off as "oh it was some homeless guy so who cares" doesn't do it for me. 

Cassie is an okay protagonist. Definitely the least offensive of Eddie's friends. The only one who at least seems to care about Eddie's feelings, though she too laughs at some of the jokes. Scott exists, but aside from being the other chucklehead, there's not much too his character. I don't throw the F-bomb a lot here but man, fuck Winks. There's nothing wrong with a prankster character, provided they at least have some conscience. But it's hard to look at how Winks treats Eddie and not chalk it up to straight up bullying. And considering that Winks' actions are what led to Eddie getting bullied and mistreated even worse by the other students, then it really makes me wish that hit and run was fatal. Of all the characters to get a happy ending at the end, it sure the hell shouldn't have been Winks.

I can't help but sympathize with Eddie. Maybe it hits home more as someone who was picked on and was easily scared. To have that be your life day in, day out, and your so-called friends constantly making things worse for you is not good for your mental health. It's not hard to see how this escalated from prank to a full on mental breakdown for him. Does that justify attempted murder? Probably not. Or using a corpse for his own gain? Definitely not. But for him to not have a happy ending while the three kids who put him in this worsened state get to live happily ever after feels like the kind of ending that just leaves me annoyed.

In the end, Hit and Run is fine enough for a take on an old story, but it also just lacks anything to make it stand out. And how it ends and it's general treatment of dead homeless people as toys to play with really makes me feel sickened in the wrong way. And as a book about mental health, it may be one of Stine's poorest portrayals yet. So, surprise surprise. Another book I'm interested in by cover alone to once again disappoint me. The cosmic ballet goes on. Hit and Run gets a C-.