Tuesday, August 10, 2021

The Stinal Countdown: Goosebumps #59: The Haunted School


We're reach the final book of the fifties and hell, with only three books after this, the end of the original 62 and the reread. And from this point onward it's definitely the most interesting final four you could ask for. For good and bad reasons. Thankfully we start with a book I really liked the first go around. Will that be the prevailing attitude on the second go? Let's see with The Haunted School.

THE HAUNTED SCHOOL

RELEASE MONTH: SEPTEMBER 1997
FRONT TAGLINE: They're watching you learn... the hard way.

COVER STORY
This is an amazing cover. There's a lot of the staples of Tim, yet they work better here with the eeriness of the gray items pouring out of the locker. And then there's the eyes. Such a subtle little bit yet so very creepy. Maybe not in the way some other covers deliver on fright, but it's still effective for how creepy it is. Also Tim got to draw a skull. That is also neat.

HE'S HEARING VOICES...FROM ANOTHER WORLD!

Tommy Frazer's dad just got married. Now Tommy's got a new mom. And he's going to a new school—Bell Valley Middle School.

Tommy doesn't hate school. But it's hard making friends. And his new school is so big, it's easy to get lost. Which is exactly what happens.

Tommy gets lost-lost in a maze of empty classrooms. And that's when he hears the voices. Kids' voices crying for help. Voices coming from behind the classroom walls..
STORY

We open this book with a kid falling off a ladder. That kid is our protagonist Tommy Frazer. Why did he fall off a ladder? Well, he's setting up a banner in the gym for the upcoming school dance. See, Tommy's on the dance committee, mainly out of wanting to make some new friends. His dad recently remarried and they moved to a new town of Bell Valley, which means that Tommy has to start all over again, which has to suck. But luckily for Tommy, he has made a couple of friends. Ben Jackson, a kid who can't stop making puns. Essentially the Carlos of the group. And Thalia Halpert-Rodis, a girl who keeps having to reapply her makeup. Lots and lots of makeup.

The committee need red paint, so it's Tommy who goes to get it up in the third floor of the school. In his haste, he bumps into a strange girl with white-blond hair and gray eyes. As Tommy makes it to the art room, he thinks he hears strange laughter. But when he goes inside, it's silent. But stranger yet is him seeing a smiling skeleton from the science lab and the janitor straight up smoking a cigar in school, which might be one of the very few times cigars or cigarettes are mentioned in a Goosebumps book. I mean, it's not cool, but it's trivia.

Tommy finds a strange narrow doorway and enters it, finding strange statues of children inside. He gets caught by one of the teachers, Mrs. Borden, who tells Tommy that these are statues of the class of 1947, a class of twenty five kids who all mysteriously disappeared. Tommy returns to the gym with the paint, but sees Thalia and Ben unconscious! No, wait, it was a prank. Boy, the whole "I fooled you into thinking I died" gag really kind of sucks, huh? Tommy mentions the girl he bumped into. Thalia says that's just Greta. She dresses in all-black and acts weird. Tommy then mentions the class of 1947, which causes Thalia to panic.

Sure enough, there's a reason not to like Greta as she later picks on Thalia by playing keep away with her makeup. Tommy manages to diffuse the situation, then believes he can hear crying in the walls. Greta's not done being a nuisance as she destroys the banners for the school dance with a guitar. This means that Tommy and Ben have to get more supplies. But on their way to the art room, they find something they haven't seen before. A strange gray elevator. Tommy drags Ben inside and the two end up stuck. But even stranger, the elevator isn't going up or down, but rather sideways. Oh, I see your problem, you accidentally walked into a TARDIS.

The elevator eventually opens and brings Tommy and Ben into a strange gray classroom filled with kids with gray skin and black and white clothing. The kids react at the sight of color in Ben and Tommy's clothes and start to attack the kids. Tommy manages to calm them down as one of the boys introduces himself as Seth. The other kids are Mona, Eloise, Mary and Eddie. Turns out that they're the class of 1947, or at least some of it. The first students of Bell Valley Middle School. They had lined up for their class photo being taken by a mean old man named Mr. Chameleon, which, I mean, that name would raise my eyebrow too. 

Mr. Chameleon was a mean old man who really hated children. But it was also believed that Mr. Chameleon had some sort of magic power. Because when he took the picture of the class with his camera, it trapped them in an alternate dimension, which has been dubbed Grayworld. So for the last 50 years (or 70+ if we're not dating this by release) these kids have been unable to escape, trapped forever as children. And, given they've been prepubescent children for over half a century, never seeing their families again and, you know, trapped in monochrome, it's sent most of the kids off the deep end, losing whatever is left of their sanity. Only one kid has managed to escape Grayworld. Tommy thinks that must have been Greta given how she looks.

Tommy and Ben then notice that they too are turning gray. They try for the elevator, but it won't open. So they make a run for it, despite Seth warning them about the other kids of Grayworld. Sure enough, they soon run into the other kids who have indeed gone insane. They circle the boys, chanting "Turn, Turn" as the color continues to vanish. They grab the boys and plan to throw them into a strange colorless liquid atop a hill. A liquid that the other kids fill into cups, then drink and spit all over each other, a creepy sight indeed. 

As Tommy and Ben are almost thrown into the liquid, Seth and the still sane kids make the save. Tommy grabs a still colored lighter and lights some leaves on fire, using the flame to keep the other kids at bay as they return to the school. They arrive and someone exits the elevator. It's not Greta, but Thalia. Turns out that it was Thalia that managed to escape the Grayworld. Greta was just some goth kid, which is why she wore all black and stuff. Not a bad red herring for once there Jovial Bob. See, Thalia discovered that her lipstick managed to retain its color, and it helped her escape. She's still monochrome, which is why she wears so much makeup. She draws a window with her lipstick which manages to take the three back home.

TWIST ENDING

The kids celebrate their escape, but Mrs. Borden tells them they have to line up for their picture. A picture being taken by the photographer... Mr. Chameleon! But before Tommy can stop him, the camera flashes.

CONCLUSION

There is a lot to really like about The Haunted School. It sets up one of the creepier scenarios of any Goosebumps book ever. It's one of the better uses of a red herring. Its twist is really strong. And its characters aren't too bad, though Ben's constant jokes can drag the book a little. Tommy's alright, but again not a very dynamic protagonist. Ben, as previously stated, can get annoying with his quips, and Thalia isn't too bad a character herself, though she feels underused. But given her revelation, I can understand why she doesn't have that much to do with the story except for minor beats. 

I do wish we got some understanding as to what Mr. Chameleon's deal was. We know he hates kids, but what happened here to make him decide to punish twenty-five kids by sending them to what is essentially purgatory? Was there no investigation? Nobody thought it odd that these kids vanished after an encounter with the photographer? And, I know it's fifty years after the incident, but they decided to rehire a guy named Mr. Chameleon to do photography? Like, it's Goosebumps and most people just brush off the supernatural, but I'd at least raise one eyebrow. Also, it makes me wonder if he punished these kids with Grayworld, what other horrible things has he done to children? Stine gave us a rather interesting villain, yet didn't do much with him in the book itself.

Speaking of purgatory, the book sets up Grayworld and its inhabitants well. How being trapped in this dimension for fifty years has turned most of these kids into feral maniacs. Devoid of almost all of their humanity. The scene with the black liquid is genuinely one of the more disturbing scenes given in a Goosebumps book. Also one of the saddest when you take in the implications of just how these kids were broken. Stripped of their remaining childhood and denied their adolescence. Only a few still gripping to any remaining sanity. And I'm guessing unable to die in Grayworld, so they destroy each other to no avail. Damn Bob, you actually created a scary scenario. I'm so proud of you.

So, yeah. This book holds up well. It hits on everything that a strong Goosebumps book needs to be considered a high recommend. Not to mention a strong example of why the final four books in particular might be the most interesting batch in the series, for good and bad reasons. But when it comes to great examples of why Goosebumps sometimes doesn't deserve the flack it gets, this book is head of the class.

STORYGGGGG
SCARES: GGGG.5
TWIST: GGGG
ENJOYMENT: GGGG.5
OVERALL: 4.5 Gs

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