Wednesday, February 17, 2021

The Stinal Countdown: The Beast

 
It's time once again to bring mention of another non-Goosebumps Stine work, and I can think of no better pick than when he was commissioned to do a novel on a roller caster. It's time to deal with The Beast

The Beast is a roller coaster from King's Island, an amusement park in Mason, Ohio. King's Island opened in 1972 and in 1979 they would unleash The Beast, a massive wooden roller coaster at a length of 7,359 feet, making it one of the longest wooden coasters in the world. I'm not much of an amusement park expert, and I haven't been anywhere near the states in my life, let alone Ohio, but looking at how insane the ride is, even I, someone who is a squeamish one, would have a blast on it. But how did a roller coaster get a fantasy book about it? Well, Stine is an Ohioan and had become a household name after the success of Goosebumps, which around the time of the first Beast book's release, June of 1994, was picking up in momentum. So, if there was anyone that could add even more life to this legendary coaster, why not Jovial Bob? But did he manage to make another classic, or does this ride stink? Let's dive in to find out.

COVER STORY

Oh hey, Tim Jacobus is here too, giving us a cover that, while not as super dynamic as most of his Goosebumps works, still manages to sell the idea of The Beast. We get the logo front and center, taking up about half of the cover, while we get a creepy enough visual of two kids being chased by a ghostly guy while on the roller coaster. "Is the roller coaster really haunted?" Well this cover seems to reveal that mystery pretty quick. I also love the shocked reactions of the kids, which seems a mix of confusion and excitement. Shame they're so high up, or, considering The Beast is a coaster in a wooded area, we could have gotten some of those good ol' Jacobus trees.

STORY

We open the book the only way this book possibly could: by more or less being an advertisement about how awesome The Beast is as a pair of twelve year old cousins named Ashley Franks and James Dickson are riding it. Ashley is the more mischievous of the two and "kinda pretty" from James' POV (I didn't know The Beast was in Shelbyville). The two kids have been at Paramount Kings Island all afternoon and it's getting late. After they ride The Beast, the kids are ready to leave, but Ashley wants to ride the coaster again. James, realizing that he hasn't called his mom and realizes that his ass is grass should he be out this late at night, at first disagrees, but there's no shutting Ashley up about how cool and awesome The Beast is, so he resigns and the two head in line.

In line, they end up getting bumped by a pair of teenagers with long dark hair and a Cincinatti Reds Hat (We get it, it's Ohio!) named Ernie and Gary. The two teens tell Ashley and James the story of a ghost that supposedly rides The Beast at night. They heard it on the news and everything. How the coaster seems to move on its own at night and nobody has ever gotten the explanation why. Ashley believes that there must be a ghost and is more eager to ride the coaster again. Ashley most likely grew up to be one of those moms who believes everything she reads on Facebook. The ride goes off without a hitch, but upon exiting the ride, James doesn't see Ashley anywhere. As the park is going to close, he eventually finds her. Ashley claims that she never saw James when the ride ended and was looking for her. As they bicker and beat each other up, a heavy fog starts to fill the park and worst of all, the park is closed.

James, being the serious and rational one, wants to call his mom to tell her about what's going on, but Ashley grabs his quarter away and reminds him about the ghost and that they should go search for it. She even bets ten dollars to him if they don't find one. That's enough for James to resign his concerns and they call his mom, BSing about staying at a friends place. As they search through the fog, they spot some security guards, and we get a fake out scare of them being caught, only to see that the guards were just talking to each other. That's enough for Ashley to think they're in the clear and they start to sneak away, only for James to conveniently trip and fall, catching the attention of the guards who give chase. But they escape with ease and make it back to The Beast.

As Ashley sits in one of the cars, it starts to move. James manages to get her out in time. It's then that they notice a giant of an old man with long white hair wearing overalls. He introduces himself as P.D. Walters (The P.D. he claims stands for Pretty Dumb). He tells the kids that he tests the coaster every night, but just laughs off any claims of ghostly activity. He's been doing it for sixty years, which James calls bullcrap on since Kings Island hasn't been around for sixty years. P.D. says that there used to be another park built on this land called Firelight Park, that was destroyed in a tornado in 1931, leaving many people dead. P.D. was there that night, which doesn't help his "not a ghost" case. Also, interesting that they go for lore about a park that never existed. Considering that this was a wooded area before the birth of Kings Island, that wouldn't have been possible. But hey, we need to justify the ghost story somehow I guess.

The security guards arrive again, but the kids escape on one of the coasters just in time. This time however, when the kids exit the coaster, they find themselves in a strange place. Everyone is dressed in old timey clothing, all the rides are different and the park is lit with torch lights. Somehow they traveled back in time to Firelight Park. This gives us plenty of culture shock gags as the kids go for ice cream and ask for "wacky new flavors" like Rocky Road and frozen yogurt. Not to mention a lot of people staring at the kids for their wild clothing, seeming more so at Ashley, which I feel is a bit concerning. They look around, hoping for any sign of P.D., and end up getting lost. They ask a security guard about the location of The Beast, but he instead points them to a coaster called the Shoot-The-Chute instead. He then thinks they're wearing underwear and tells them to sit still, only for the kids to run off. James trips, thinking he got caught, but the security guard chases after Ashley instead. So my concerns were very much justified.

The kids end up hiding in a steamy room that just happens to be connected to the park's local freak show, with attractions like the lobster man, the two headed boy and the real star of the show, a boy with rubbery arms and legs who sings about how he's the Jelly Boy. The kids get confronted by the freaks, but it turns out that they're all phonies and their boss tells them to let the kids go free. They get chased by more guards until they hop over a wall and run into a 12 year old kid named Paul, who agrees to help the kids out. First by helping them get new clothes, and then to search for P.D. they treat him to food since their cash supply makes them super rich, and they ride the rides some more. In their fun, they suddenly spot a newspaper that is dated on the same day as the tornado. This leads to a mad scramble for the kids to try and warn everyone, but of course, no one believes them because it's just a little rain and wind is all. It's here that they blurt out the name of P.D. Walters and Paul is like "wait a minute. My name is Paul David Walters!" (insert shock music here).

They try to get him to send him back, but it's not as if Paul has time travel magic at twelve, so he doesn't know. Nor does he know where The Beast is. The tornado starts to pick up, so Ashley tries one last desperate attempt to warn the people using a megaphone, but they remain ignorant to their demise. Security starts chasing the kids again and they eventually find their way to The Beast. They climb on as P.D. starts working the controls. Two security guards jump the kids on the coaster as it goes off. And sure enough, the kids wind up back in the present, but apparently the guards were also affected as their skeletons are still on the coaster. Well that got dark.

The kids get caught by the present day security and finally call James' mom to go home. They ask about P.D., but the guards have no idea what they're talking about. There's no man that tests the roller coaster at night. As the kids wait outside the park, they spot a plaque commemorating the victims of Firelight Park, and mentions the name of Peter David Walters. It finally clicks to the kids that P.D. tried to send them back in time to warn the victims, but ultimately you can't change the past. And we end this book that I thought was just a glorified roller coaster ad with a rather sobering moral. Well, thanks for that one Jovial Bob.

CONCLUSION

I actually ended up liking The Beast. Going in, I figured this was just going to be a fluff book glorifying a roller coaster for 100 pages without much else for substance, but what I got was a quality time travel story. James and Ashley got annoying in places, but otherwise served as decent protagonists. While the twist of Paul being P.D. was one you could see coming a mile away, it still worked to build him as a character worth investing in. I like the nods to the old timey 1930s feel of everything from the clothing to the general sense of the world. The ending is actually rather dark and depressing with the victims being ignorant to their demise and the ending with the security guards turning into skeletons at the end of the ride. Overall, I'd say this actually works better than most Goosebumps. The story flows better, there's no need for constant chapter ending "gotcha" scares, and the mystery and horror build themselves much better than most of Stine's works. So, if that IS the stuff you want from Goosebumps, you may find this underwhelming. As for me, more of this please. B+.

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