Wednesday, December 30, 2020

The Stinal Countdown: Goosebumps #16: One Day at HorrorLand


I'm going into this re-read having read pretty much everything HorrorLand related. And my consensus on it then came to a feeling of wasted potential. The idea of a horror theme park run by monsters never really feeling as fully realized as it could have, or more importantly, should have been. But, that may bury the lede for this re-read as we talk about One Day at HorrorLand. Can this trip back to the beginning feel refreshing? Let's find out.

ONE DAY AT HORRORLAND

RELEASE MONTH: February, 1994
FRONT TAGLINE: Enter if you dare...

COVER STORY

And one of the reasons I feel HorrorLand is wasted potential has to do with this gorgeous cover art. One of Tim Jacobus' best. I love the use of blues and purples for the night sky leading the eye to the fun and welcoming carnival in the distance. That is, if you can't get your eyes off the sign for HorrorLand with the giant monster looming over it. It's not a super scary cover, didn't get me as a kid (in fact, I actually read some of this one as a kid), but just a visual treat.

THEIR NEXT RIDE MIGHT BE THEIR LAST...

The Morris family got lost trying to find Zoo Gardens Theme Park. But that's okay. They found another amusement park instead. It's Called HorrorLand. 

In HorrorLand there are no crowds. No lines. And the admission is free. It seems like a pretty cool place.

But that was before that heart=stopping ride on the deadly Doom Slide. And that terrifying experience in the House of Mirrors.

Because there's something weird about the rides in HorrorLand.

Something a little too creepy. 

A little too real..

STORY

The Morris family, consisting of mom, dad, twelve year old Lizzy and ten year old Luke, along with Luke's best friend Clay, are stuck in the middle of nowhere, trying to make their way to Zoo Gardens. I'm guessing Stine was afraid of angering Busch Gardens. Luke has a gimmick. He calls himself the "Mad Pincher" and likes to pinch Clay. I'm sure that's not a tell for later in the book. The family give up and drive the other way, only to get themselves even more lost. Suddenly, they see a giant monster head almost crush their car, but they soon realize that it's actually part of a sign. A sign advertising something called HorrorLand. The family ultimately decide to go there instead. They arrive at HorrorLand and notice that oddly there's no other car on the lot. However, not long after exiting, their car explodes like some sort of mob hit.

Obviously panicked, the family head to the front gate of HorrorLand where they're greeted by a monster with green skin, bulging yellow eyes and horns on its head, to which Lizzy claims is a nice costume. Mr. Morris asks for a phone, but the monster, referred to as a horror, tells him that there are no phones and that the fellow horrors in the park will take care of them. They ultimately decide to enter the park with the parents splitting from the kids to try and find some way to help them with their car woes. The kids look around and notice signs that read "no pinching" which annoys Luke given his whole "Mad Pincher" shtick. 

They make their way to an attraction called the "Doom Slide". It's a series of slides. The horror running the ride tells the kids that they can choose whichever slide they like, but one will make them slide forever. The kids slide down, but only Lizzy and Luke make it to the bottom. No sign of Clay. They head back up to the top of the slides and choose the one that Clay picked. They slide for a long time until they suddenly see the slide reaching its end with flames in front of it. Lizzy and Luke panic, but it's all just a special effect. They make it out fine and find Clay. Instead of reuniting with the parents, Luke suggests to check out the house of mirrors. Suddenly a horror shows up and yells at the kids to get out while they can before running away.

The kids enter the house of mirrors, which is literally mirrors on the walls, floor and ceiling. They get lost for a bit before finding each other, only to get trapped inside with the walls closing in. But, suddenly, the three are sent outside of the house, uncrushed. Luke and Clay still find this fun, but Lizzy really wants to get back to their parents. We get a fast forward of events the kids stumble upon. They dodge tree snakes and laughing statues, they cut through a bat barn where they get attacked by bats, then stumble around for a bit trying to find Mr. and Mrs. Morris. They ask a horror if they saw them, but the horror just tells them that their parents left the park long ago. Lizzy doesn't believe the horror as by now it's obvious the horrors lie about things to make the situation scarier.

Luke, Lizzy and Clay find Mr. and Mrs. Morris who have also had a rough time in the park. They plan to leave the park by finding a ride that will take them close enough to the front gate. That ends up being the Coffin Cruise, a river ride on coffin-shaped boats. However, the coffins close on them, trapping them inside with what feels like crawling insects. But the lids soon open and they're safe and sound. But the family, as well as Luke and Clay, are finally tired of the park's antics and head to the front gate to leave. However, they see the park is closed with them still inside. They spot a sign that says that no one ever leaves HorrorLand. 

Suddenly the horrors show up and begin to surround the Morris family (and Clay). One of them, a female Horror, thanks them for coming to the park. She's the MC of the park and tells the family that they were being filmed for a hidden camera show for the Monster Channel. She shows them the exit, which has a brand new car ready for them to head home in. However, the door shuts in front of the family as the MC tells them it's time for the HorrorLand Challenge. Yes, this is not just a Candid Camera knockoff, this is also Double Dare. The family have to survive the obstacle course to get to their car, or face certain death.

The challenge features creatures like a giant four-armed gorilla creature, pig monsters, giant cranes, furry snakes and other strange beasts. The family run for it as best they can to the exit, but Lizzy gets stomped by a giant elephant monster. Suddenly the buzzer sounds and the challenge ends. The Morris family (and Clay) soon learn they all survive, but are still not being allowed out of the park. Lizzy attacks the MC, trying to remove her mask, but discovers the horrors are real monsters. The MC tells them that there are millions of monsters in the world, particularly ones who enjoy the Monster Channel.

With the game over, the family begin to be pushed into a purple liquid. Suddenly, remembering the "No Pinching" sign, Lizzy pinches the MC's arm, which causes her to deflate. The family run out of the park and try the new car, only for no keys to be inside. Conveniently, a bus is nearby with keys inside. The family floor it and escape HorrorLand.

TWIST ENDING

The Morris family (and Clay) finally make it back home, shell shocked by their entire experience, but happy to be away from HorrorLand once and for all. Suddenly, a Horror emerges from behind the bus. It hands them tickets to come back next year.

CONCLUSION

One Day at HorrorLand feels very unique. In ways that you really don't get with other books. Granted, it feels very much like a book that moves from set piece to set piece so quickly that you really don't get much from the middle of the book. But it certainly does start strong and end much stronger. For me, what makes this book work is that the entire family is involved in the story. After reading so many of these books, I've come to just be annoyed by the structure of the parents not believing the kid protagonist or just not having any role at all other than to be every stereotypical parent type. It's why "Because Goosebumps Parents" is a thing I throw in so many blogs. Here, Mr. and Mrs. Morris are involved in the story and never have that moment where they don't believe Lizzy, Luke or Clay. Them being involved in the horror itself makes for a more engaging event. And that last act where everyone is involved makes for one of the stronger climaxes in a Goosebumps book.

The book isn't perfect though, definitely suffering from a meager middle point. The park feels very bland in terms of being this big, epic amusement park. You get a slide ride and a house of mirrors and a log ride. There's mention of a roller coaster but it's never used, and the other big set pieces are trees with snakes and a barn. A barn. Reader beware indeed. It leaves HorrorLand the park itself feeling very lacking in being that super crazy horror park you'd want it to be. Which given Stine is an Ohioan, a man who would soon write two books about The Beast roller coaster, you'd hope for a stronger feel of a theme park, but it feels more like a simple carnival. But given that the park itself seems to be a human trap for the Monster Channel, that's not the biggest issue.

I do wish the horrors felt like characters. The MC is the closest we get, but never feels that unique either. This is an issue I felt the entire HorrorLand series suffers from. You have these amazing monsters, but they just feel like background characters and that's an absolute shame. In terms of the family, Lizzy is a fine protagonist, while Luke is annoying and Clay just exists. And the parents even feel likeable as well, thanks to not having those moments you get in almost every other book. One Day at HorrorLand is a solid book, but does suffer from feeling like it lacks something to really make it great. It deserves the praise and love it gets, and it's actually the one Goosebumps book I did read as a kid and what I read did entertain me, so I guess as a book for kids, that's more than fine enough. It's definitely a ride you won't forget.

STORYGGG.5
SCARES: GGG
TWIST: GG
ENJOYMENT: GGGG
OVERALL: 3.5 Gs

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