If you've followed my Goosebumps reviews over at Retro Oasis, you'll know that I tend not to stick to one book series at a time. Sometimes it's because I don't have the book to read, or sometimes if a cover tickles my fancy, I'll be more inclined to want to give it a read. So, with that being said, let's see what R.L. Stine has been up to for the past few years with the Goosebumps book series. And, of course, it's all about his one true standout monster, Slappy the Dummy. Come, let us enter SlappyWorld.
It's 2017. Stine had finished off the prior series, Most Wanted, the year prior. And the year before that, the world saw Goosebumps on the big screen with 2015's Goosebumps movie. It turned out to do really well at the box office and gave audiences a chance to see a whole bunch of Stine's creations... in the background while the one with the most focus was Slappy. Which makes sense, by this point, Slappy had appeared in multiple books, and had become the franchise face. And what do you do when you want to sell books? Put that face of the franchise front and center.
SlappyWorld is the current series going for Goosebumps, with books still planned to release in 2021. At the time of writing, 11 books have been released, and all of them feature Slappy. Technically, Slappy serves as the book's host, but he still gets plenty of books focused around him. Six and counting. And the first one just so happens to star Slappy, so I'd best be ready for mediocrity? Can I be surprised, or is this more wooden material? Let's see with Slappy Birthday to You.
I stated in older Slappy book reviews that I wasn't overly fond of Brandon Dorman's take on the character. How it seemed to morph more into Al Pacino's take on Big Boy Caprice from the 1990 Dick Tracy film overtime. But I will say I do like his take on the 2015 movie Slappy a bit more. I know people who are mixed on this version of the character. How he's more cutesy than creepy, but I'm honestly fine with the design. He looks like a ventriloquist dummy brought to life and that's works well enough.
First cover for this series and it's okay. Slappy bursting from a birthday present, all eager to cause chaos. I like the purple background, and the splattering of the box's contents make for a more colorful image than most of the far blander covers from the previous series. Overall, not super memorable, but still a step in the right direction.
So, the setup for SlappyWorld goes like this: We get a couple pages early on where Slappy introduces himself, gets offended at the thought of someone calling him a dummy, tells a joke that seems fit for one of Jovial Bob's joke books before then bringing us into our story. He'll then interrupt the story a few times, sometimes to shift the focus to a different event or giving us exposition. And then ends with more of his witticisms. It's something that Stine had begun doing around the time of Hall of Horrors, in which the story featured wraparounds involving a character named the "Story-Keeper", then continued in Most Wanted with R.L. Stine himself, and now it's Slappy taking the reigns. It's the Superfluous Clay of additions.
It's protagonist Ian Barker's twelfth birthday, but it doesn't quite go off to a great start, mainly because of his bratty nine-year old sister Molly. But he has even bigger problems as his cousins Vinny and Jonny are also showing up, and they tend to enjoy starting fights with Ian. Ian goes to see his father in his workshop, which is a makeshift dolls hospital where Mr. Barker fixes up old dolls and gives them back to their owner. Which is actually a pretty cool hobby. After dealing with his dad's corny jokes and fake doll eyeballs, Ian opens the front door and gets punched in the face Jonny. Reader beware, you're in for a fist. They cause some trouble and act literally like a pair of wiseguys. Also Vinny mentions that chocolate gives him diarrhea. THANK YOU FOR THAT WONDERFUL IMAGE JOVIAL BOB.
Jonny and Vinny's horribleness continues as they fight over a PlayStation controller, putting their weight on Ian in the process. So far, Ian's parents haven't gone full Goosebumps parents, annoyed by the pair's antics, but do scold Ian for calling them names. Mr. and Mrs. Barker decide that maybe they should just go straight to Ian's presents, hoping that maybe that will calm things down. Jonny and Vinny did get Ian a remote controlled BB-8 toy. You know, going from a review like Curse of the Mummy's Tomb with references to Super Mario Land and New Coke to this is quite the whiplash. However, it's Mr. Barker that has an even bigger gift for Ian. It's none other than a ventriloquist dummy named Slappy.
Mr. Barker got Slappy from someone who oddly didn't send a return address. The dummy was in rough shape and in need of repairs. He figures that Slappy must be pretty old and maybe valuable, and since nobody wants the dummy back, he figured he may as well give him to Ian. Mr. Barker also gives Molly a present, since that's a thing they do with the kids birthdays so the other sibling doesn't feel left out. Holy crap, these might actually be good Goosebumps parents. She gets an old doll for her collection which she names Abigail. Old doll, collection of old dolls. I know where this is going. Vinny tries to grab Slappy from Ian and pulls off one of the dummy's hands. But everyone seems to have a laugh over it.
We get an interruption from Slappy who then sends us back in time, three years to be precise, to Ian's ninth birthday. Mr. Barker takes Ian to a doll museum called "The Castle of the Little People". So, in other words, this is less a birthday present for his son and more a present for himself. He's a Goosebumps parent alright. They are soon greeted by a strange man wearing a baby doll mask named Mr. Klausmann, the owner of the museum. He tells Ian and Mr. Barker that he doesn't take his mask off due to how ugly his face is to which I think this is reaching some "stranger danger" levels for this book. Regardless, the pair follow Mr. Klausmann through the museum, noticing all the different doll displays. Dolls in safari clothes, dolls dressed like sailors. Meh, wake me when you have the whole LJN WWF toy line from the 80s in mint condition, then I'll wake up.
Mr. Klausmann takes the Barkers to a room filled with ventriloquist dummies. Ian's actually pretty excited about it as he has had an interest in puppetry. He messes with the dummies while his dad and Mr. Klausmann vanish. Suddenly, while Ian's alone, the dummies all suddenly begin to laugh. Ian, freaked out, heads out of the room and tries to find his dad. He does find a woman on a laptop. When he asks about Mr. Klausmann, the woman says that there's nobody named Mr. Klausmann that works here. Ian runs off and sees a man in a baby doll mask that doesn't respond to him. Ian grabs the mask and pulls it off, only to see the face of his dad. Yep, this attempt at childhood trauma was all just a joke for Ian's birthday. Mr. Klausmann was just some guy named Barney. But, surprisingly, Ian's not all that bothered by his father's sick sense of humor. He's more excited to have a dummy of his own, to which his dad says that won't be happening, at least not with these ones. As they leave, Ian can see Barney tell him to "Goosebumps book #12".
Another Slappy interruption in which he gives more exposition about how Ian really wanted a dummy, but his dad couldn't afford one, at least until fate lucked his way by getting Slappy second-hand. We return to the present with Mr. Barker working on Slappy, when Molly mentions that Slappy has a Wikipedia page. Yes, the evil dummy that has been passed around by literally everyone at this point is famous enough for his own Wikipedia page. And that Wiki page just happens to feature everything from the origin with the evil sorcerer to the magic words. Of course, even the people who made this Wiki page were smart enough not to put the magic words in, but it doesn't matter as Jonny finds the slip of paper and reads them out loud.
Of course, despite Jonny and Vinny reading the words, nothing seems to happen just yet. Their interest is interrupted as Jonny and Vinny's father Donny arrives to pick up his sons, while also mentioning that there's a family talent show coming up. Oh good, I was wondering how long it would take for this book to go "now stop me if you've heard this one". After a weird dream where Ian imagines Jonny and Vinny as dummies, he wakes up to see Slappy suddenly right in front of him where he wasn't before. You know, I was kinda in the groove with this one until I remembered, "oh right, this is a Slappy book, you can just gloss over it", and sure enough. Molly claims that Ian tried to break Abigail, then we cut to Slappy in the kitchen with breakfast all spilled, Ian once again blamed.
The talent show day arrives. Jonny and Vinny juggle duckpins for the talent show when suddenly a pin is thrown that hits Jonny on the head, Ian holds Slappy as the dummy begins to laugh, Ian gets blamed. Next up, Molly finds Abigail sleeping with the fishes, as in deep into the fish tank. Vinny notices that Slappy's hands are wet. Regardless, it's time for Ian and Slappy and yep, the dummy hurls insults at everyone and Ian gets in trouble for it. That night, Ian notices that Slappy's actually moving. He takes his camera and tries to take pictures of Slappy, but gets his dad instead. Ian tries to claim Slappy's out prowling the neighborhood, but his parents don't believe him because (sigh, and they started so good too) Goosebumps parents.
Slappy interrupts, then we shift focus away from the Barkers as we learn that it wasn't Slappy that left the house of his own volition, it was Jonny and Vinny who snuck into the house and dummynapped him. No, seriously, DO PEOPLE IN GOOSEBUMPS WORLD NOT KNOW WHAT A LOCK IS? They play with Slappy until the dummy finally talks to them. He headbutts Vinny which gives Vinny a nosebleed, and strangely, Slappy as well. He then spurts the green nose blood on Vinny which is boiling hot. The pair are in a panic as Slappy tells them that they're his slaves and must go back to get the paper with the magic words before Ian can get it. The kids try to escape, but Slappy locked the door. Okay, at least the evil dummy knows what a lock is, that's progress. Their mother shows up, annoyed by the noise. Vinny and Jonny try to tell her what's going on, but she doesn't believe them because... I already said it last paragraph.
She does send the boys out to bring Slappy back to Ian's, so unfortunately they're still kinda screwed. They arrive at the Barker residence, only for Slappy to run from them, with the two giving chase. But, Slappy is a dummy, as in he has rubbery legs that can't really sustain his own weight so he runs awkwardly. I now imagine that Slappy walks like Vince McMahon. The kids easily catch up the Slappy, who turns his head around and bites Vinny on the nose. The kids finally relent and say they'll help him find the paper. But tis a ruse as they actually plan to leave him the garage. Suddenly Slappy, who now also seems to have psychic powers, slams the garage door and then manipulates garden tools to attack the boys. Before things get worse, the Barkers enter the garage and learn of what Vinny and Jonny did. And despite the pair also believing Slappy is alive, no one believes them because... wow, this book's really going to keep making me do this, huh?
Due to the mess, Jonny and Vinny have to do chores for the Barkers. Despite everything, Ian does believe them when they say Slappy's alive, since he didn't say any of the insults at the talent show. Ian, Jonny, Vinny and Molly decide to work together to stop Slappy. They enter Mr. Barker's workshop as Mr. Barker is busy and find the magic paper. Ian begins to read it, only for Slappy to attack him before he can finish. He tears up the paper. The kids and Mr. Barker all gang up on him and Ian manages to rip Slappy's head off his shoulders. This doesn't kill the dummy, who tells them that they shouldn't have done that. Slappy's body raises its arms, which allows him to bring the broken dolls from Mr. Barker's workshop to life. The broken dolls begin to swarm Mr. Barker and the kids.
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