The Stinal Countdown: Goosebumps Series 2000 #12: Brain Juice

It's time to get juicy with yet another Goosebumps Series 2000 review. This series remains the ultimate mixed bag. Some really good stuff, some surprisingly darker than expected stuff, and some that build up well, but fall apart by the end. Will this break the mold? Let's use our noodle with Brain Juice.

COVER STORY

This is definitely one of the grosser covers I've dealt with in a while. A really well detailed human brain being covered with a strange purple liquid (or possibly spurting that liquid, the cover doesn't rule that possibility out). It harkens back to the good old Tim Jacobus days or no real background to deal with, with the main focus, the juicy brain being front row center. Good stuff. 

STORY

We open our book with a prologue focused on two aliens, Morggul and Gobbul. They're froglike aliens with sharp fangs, and purple tentacles. They've been on Earth for a while now, spying on a professor named Dr. Frank King (Stine?). They intend to make the primitive earthlings their slaves, starting with Frank King, who they believe to be the king of scientists. They plan to use their brain energizer fluid to increase the professor and his wife Jen's intellect so they'll be great slaves for their planet. However, King and his wife are older than they'd hope for, so they instead need two younger subjects. What a coincidence that our protagonists arrive, Nathan and Lindy Nichols. They've come to visit their uncle as they need some help. The two of them are stupid. Yeah, get used to that word a lot in this one.

Nathan and Lindy believe themselves to be stupid. They get in trouble for their low marks in math, feel ostracized from the smarter kids, and when trying to help their younger sister Brenda build a dollhouse, they get confused over the instructions and accidentally break it. It's why they came to their uncle for help, hoping he'd have something that would improve their intelligence. And he has something that he can give the two. And that is, of course, a placebo. He plans to give the kids "brain juice", which is just ordinary grape juice, but he claims that it will increase their intelligence. However, while he's distracted, Morggul and Gobbul enter the kitchen and dump the grape juice down the sink, replacing it with the brain energizer fluid. However, Nathan and Lindy will also end up being guinea pigs, as the aliens have no idea what their energizer fluid will do to humans.

Dr. King gives Nathan and Lindy the brain juice, telling them to drink it all so that it'll make them smarter. The two head home and quickly down the purple drank, saying it tastes medicinal. The two go to bed while Morggul and Gobbul, who followed the kids home, spy on them. We get a chapter stinger where they think Nathan's dead, but it's just that he breathes differently from the aliens. They decide to wait a while to see if the kids will increase their intelligence, and if they don't, they can eat them alive. The kids wake up the next day, Nathan stepping in some of the alien's slime which sounds much lewder than I hope Stine intended. They don't seem to notice any changes to their intelligence. They get mocked by two of the smarter kids, Ellen Hassler and Wardell Greene, over a New York Times crossword puzzle, calling Nathan oafish and dull (though Nathan literally thinks they're talking about fish, so they're not too off.)

The brain juice doesn't seem to be kicking in too well as Lindy forgets her backpack at home. In class, when asked to solve a math problem, Nathan begins to feel like the brain juice is kicking in and writes a large equation, which is still wrong. Morggul and Gobbul are also noticing that the formula isn't working and feel it might be time to eat the kids. That night, Nathan and Lindy call Dr. King for answers, but he says that the formula takes time to work and that they really should study for their upcoming math test. Then Nathan recoils in pain when hit by a dart... a Nerf dart, by Brenda. And he sells it like he got shot in the chest like that one kid in Child's Play 3. The next day comes and the kids do their test. Later, they get called to the office of their teacher, Mr. Tyssling, who thinks they cheated because they got perfect scores. He decides that to really prove they didn't cheat, he'll re-test them the next day.

In fact, they're suddenly smart about everything. They manage to assemble Brenda's dollhouse, they watch Jeopardy and get every question correct. All while Morggul and Gobbul watch on, now convinced the kids will make perfect slaves. At school, they finish the smart kids' crossword puzzle, ace their redo test and even finish all their math homework for the rest of the year. At home, Brenda throws her ball into the bushes and the two go to grab it, but notice something strange in the snow. An eight-toed footprint that doesn't look like any animal they've ever seen before. 

But it turns out being super geniuses isn't as glamorous as Nathan and Lindy hoped. Their friends don't want to be with them anymore, the other smart kids still mock them, and because they constantly correct their teachers, everyone is afraid to say anything around them, to the point that the two kids get kicked out of school. And for once, the Goosebumps parents are on their kids' side, even planning to sue the school over discrimination. Nathan and Lindy are miserable now, and with Dr. King and his wife in Sweden, they can't contact him. Not too long after, a black van arrives in their house, and a man tells their parents that they are interested in the intelligence of the siblings and want to undergo surgery on their brains. The kids run off for a bit until their parents manage to get the men in black to leave. But on their way home, they get stopped by Morggul and Gobbul.

The aliens grab the kids and explain everything. That they need the kids as their slaves to prove to their emperor that the human race can be smart enough to do their bidding. They also reveal that Nathan and Lindy didn't drink their uncle's brain juice, but their brain energizer fluid. The kids manage to escape and run into their mother. They try to explain things, but of course this is where I say "she doesn't believe them because Goosebumps parents". She takes them home, and leaves to go talk to the school board. This gives Morggul and Gobbul enough time to grab Brenda and try to eat her. Nathan and Lindy decide that they have no other option, they have to go to the spaceship. 

Nathan and Lindy are placed in a cage as the aliens lift off. Both kids begin to feel dumber, thinking they have no way to get out of this mess. But they deduce that maybe they can still find a way to outsmart the aliens by proving how dumb they are. The aliens give them a crossword puzzle, but the pair struggle in even knowing which side of a pencil to use. They arrive on the planet and are being brought to the emperor, all while the kids still act really dumb. They bring the kids to the cleaning room, where the aliens plan to clean their insides with a giant silver hose. The two try to make a run for it, but get caught easily. Before they can be cleaned however, the emperor arrives, wanting to see his new slaves. When he asks how smart they are, the kids act super dumb again, which angers the emperor.

 Angered, the emperor has Morggul and Gobbul disintegrated. The two aliens end up destroyed in front of Nathan and Lindy, who are next on the emperor's to-kill list. The kids make a run for it, only to end up in a closet. They get caught again by the emperor, who pulls a lever, sending them falling into a room below. It turns out to be a spaceship, which sends them back to Earth. Later, back on Earth, they tell Dr. King all about their adventures and how they became dumber and dumber until they're back to their regular intelligence. 

TWIST ENDING

When Dr. King leaves the room, Nathan notices a chalkboard with an unfinished equation and finishes it. Lindy tells him to erase it, as they don't want anyone to know that they're still super smart. Dr. King returns to the room with hot chocolate for the kids and grape juice for himself.

CONCLUSION

I enjoyed Brain Juice probably more than most books I've covered in a while for this blog. The story flows well, the protagonists are likable, and it never felt too annoying. Something I did like is that the book is told in the third person, which is pretty rare for Goosebumps books, particularly of this era. I will say though that the only faults the book has is that the plot is very cookie-cutter and predictable, right down to its twist ending with Nathan and Lindy still being super geniuses. But predictability isn't a bad thing if the story being told is still a fun one, and this one is a fun one. This book is more of what I personally want from Goosebumps, simple horror that's fun to read through, instead of stuff that leaves you feeling dirty and depressed like Revenge R Us for example. So in the end, recommending this one was a no-brainer. Brain Juice gets an A-.