The Stinal Countdown: Goosebumps Series 2000 #1: Cry of the Cat

It's January of 1998. Goosebumps is already beginning its steady decline of popularity. Yes, it was still popular, but the halcyon days of 1994-1996 were a distant memory. Of course, a certain book about a boy wizard also played a hand in the tide turning against Jovial Bob's horror series. But the franchise pressed forward. And after 62 books in the original look and design, the feeling was that things needed to be spiced up. And so, it was time for Goosebumps to look into the future.

 All the way into the year 2000. And thus Goosebumps Series 2000 was born. Now, of course this started in early 1998. We weren't in the new millennium yet. Hell, we weren't even in the Willennium yet. But companies were already rolling out 2000 on a lot of their products, shows and even movies. Because the best way to celebrate a new millennium is to date the hell out of it before it even shows up. And hoping this trend would lend itself to Goosebumps, the franchise hopped aboard. Starting with their first book with some feral feline follies. It's Cry of the Cat.

COVER STORY

Right off the bat, I'll say this: I am not a fan of the Series 2000 covers. Not the Jacobus art, there's some great stuff. The general structure of these covers feel really bland. Gone are the oozy borders that made the original covers so iconic. Instead we get a new logo with this weird neon sign aesthetic that I don't really like, nor the new font for the book titles. It feels like it strips away everything that made Goosebumps feel like Goosebumps in favor for a more dry take. Even the backs of the books are different, replacing the book description with a random quote from the book. Plus, there feels like a lot of wasted space now that there's no borders. That top's looking awful barren.

As for the actual art, oh, I like the art. We have Rip, the cat from the book, looking pretty damn frightening with it's monster fangs and drool. Great detail on the fur as well, as well as the use of light, giving the cat a nice Jekyll/Hyde look. Great stuff to kick this new series off.

STORY

We open the book with our protagonist Allison Moore watching a horror movie with her five year old brother Tanner, despite the fact that he's easily scared. And the fact that dude, he's five and this family let a five year old pick out a horror movie conveniently called Cry of the Cat. It's a new series, but it's good to know Goosebumps parents never change. Allison loves her little brother and it seems like an amicable kinship for once. This isn't like Tara from Cuckoo Clock where the intent is that she's a living nightmare. Tanner also wants a cat of his own. But the discussion is paused as Allison's friend Ryan shows up and the two head off on a bike ride. As they talk about the upcoming school play they're rehearsing for, suddenly a cat jumps out in front of Allison's bike and gets run over. To the point that Allison mentions the cat's head flying off as she tumbles to the pavement. First chapter in and already a dead animal, COULDN'T RESTRAIN YOURSELF, COULD YOU JOVIAL BOB?

Allison recovers and checks on the cat. It still has its head attached, but is stone cold dead. Feeling obvious guilt, Allison goes to find the owner, despite the cat not having any name tags. Ryan leaves her to head to rehearsal, while Allison heads to a conveniently creepy old house. A creepy old house filled with lots of cats. She's met by a girl about her age named Crystal who is shocked at the sight of the cat's death. She says the cat is named Rip. IS not WAS because the cat suddenly comes back to life. Crystal tells her that Rip is an unusual cat and that Allison shouldn't have messed with him. But before Allison can get an answer as to what that entails, she's sent away.

Allison heads to the play rehearsal and tells Ryan about all the strangeness involving the cat, which he shrugs off as it just being dazed. As the director, Mr. Keanes, finally shows up and rehearsals begin, Allison hears a meow. No one else does, and Ryan tries to play it off as obvious brain damage from the fall off the bike. But Allison is sure she heard it, and sure enough, a cat pops out of a cabinet and attacks her and other kids. But in the fracas, some kids holding up a throne prop accidentally drop it on the cat, which squashes it. Allison immediately recognizes the cat as Rip, and after some commotion over the flat cat, it comes back to life and runs off again.

That night at dinner, more strange cat-related mishaps happen as when Allison is enjoying some soup, she ends up eating a giant clump of cat hair that somehow ended up in the bowl. After that incident she sees her collection of toy mice strewn about. All the nonsense with Rip also gets to her mentally as at school the next day she thinks she sees Rip's head in her lunch bag. After rehearsal goes well for once, she heads home and falls asleep, only to wake up with Rip on her face trying to smother her. She fights with the cat until she ends up hurling him right out of her window, sending him crashing to the ground below. She goes out to check if he's really dead this time, but Rip ends up clawing her in the leg. Allison is in obvious pain, but weirdly the wound isn't bleeding, but glowing white. The next day as she tries to talk to her mother about the whole killer immortal cat, she doesn't notice that she's eaten four cans of tuna for breakfast. Reader beware, you're in for Starkist related scares!

More incidents occur of Allison turning into a cat at yet another rehearsal. First she starts licking her hands, then she leaps off a ladder like a cat would and lands on all fours. Later, when taking care of Tanner, she ends up puking a hairball. Allison's had more than enough of this, and before it reaches the point that she's licking in places one should not lick, she sets out to find Crystal and get some answers. She makes it to Crystal, who warns Allison that she can't talk to her because it'll upset her mother. When Allison mentions Rip's three fatalities so far, Crystal mentions that he's gone through eight at this point and that he's becoming desperate. She kicks Allison out again just as Ryan shows up. She drags Ryan to a pet cemetery and finds Rip's tombstone. He's been dead for at least five years. She digs at the grave and finds the cat coffin and opens it, as Rip pops out and attacks her again. The kids fight with the cat until suddenly a strange swirl of smoke begins to rise. And suddenly a literal tornado of cat corpses begins to rise.

You know, I've read a lot of what the hell in these books, but nothing prepared me for a full on tornado of cat corpses. Losing Ryan and with, yes, a CAT TORNADO tailing her, Allison makes it back to Crystal's house with Rip and the CAT TORNADO in hot pursuit. Crystal mentions that Rip sought Allison out, to take her life. Allison is still confused, but Crystal says that maybe her mom can help her. They head downstairs to Crystal's mother's laboratory, to which she recoil in horror at the sight of her. She's half human, half cat! And in a swerve, they keep Allison captive for Rip. The mother mentions that after Allison ran over him, Rip is out to seek her life force. Turns out the mother was experimenting with cats for some reason, but it always killed them. However, Rip was too strong and couldn't die. Whenever he scratches someone he implants some of himself within his victim as he siphons their life.

Rip finally shows up with all of the cat corpses, sadly not in tornado formation. Allison tries to escape, but is cornered. Suddenly Ryan shows back up, but gets clawed by Rip. As the kids seem doomed, Allison conveniently has a toy mouse in her pocket that she throws at the pile of dead cats. They go after the toy, overwhelming Rip in the process, until suddenly they all disappear. Allison and Ryan run off, and are glad that they no longer have to deal with CAT TORNADOES. No, I haven't gotten over that.

TWIST ENDING

Later on, Allison and Ryan are outside and Ryan puts a field mouse in his mouth. The two kids start clawing at each other over it. So, I guess Rip's not dead for real, or he is dead, but the curse or whatever  this is is still in effect? 2000 times the scares, 2000 times the weak twists.

CONCLUSION

Cry of the Cat is okay. Nothing I'd say warrants the concept of being this "new millennium of fear" that this new series boasts, but in terms of a Goosebumps book it flows well enough. Although half the chapters replace the stock fake out scare with Allison screaming "No" or "Oh No" instead. As for Allison, she's a fine enough protagonist. A bit more likable than most. Ryan is a lot more superfluous, like he has no real bearing to the plot other than the fact that the books need that boy/girl structure. The only real problem I have with the book is that it's super rushed. We don't get much answer as to why the mother was experimenting on cats to begin with, and the stuff involving Rip's immortality powers doesn't have enough time to flesh out. I do like the stuff with Allison's different cat-related after effects, but again it feels super rushed. Not as rushed as many other books, but rushed to the point that they never leave a real impact. And that's really the best way to describe this book, lacking impact. It's not really the most epic start to this new series. But then again, neither was Dead House, so I guess it's fair enough a starting point. Also Cat Tornado. CAT TORNADO!!!! Cry of the Cat gets a B-.